Thriller The Hypnotizer
- Thread starter dcorn
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Image me thodi problem hai...me try karta huNice story bhai lekin ab ek request hai yaar madhuri ka khali image upload krdo actress ka hi krdo padhne me feel aayega
Aur ek suggestion hai ritu aur madhuri ke sath threesome ho jaye to maja aa jaye
...or haa ab jald hi Ritu ka number lgne wala hai 
Peace RP
New Member
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Bhai mai normal image ki baat kr raha hu naaki koi edited image google se bhi nikal sakte ho sirf madhuri ka image boll raha hu vaise bhi vo actress hai lekin image acchi honi chahiye bs baki ritu ka nahi hua to bhi chalegaImage me thodi problem hai...me try karta hu
Bindaas queen
Welcome in Snake 🐍 territory
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Kya likhu samajh nahi aa rha hai
...mujhe lag rha hai ki baaki writers se compare karne par meri story kuchh bhi nahi hai...kahi bhi koi context Diya nahi hai or na hi Sx scenes sahi se diye hai...1 ya 2 Update dene ke baad ye story me band kar dunga ..
Aapne or baaki sab readers ne yaha tak kahani padhi hai isliye me isiki ending achhi hi dunga ...socha tha Kum se kum 50 update du par jab mene meri hi story padhi to mujhe bohot bachho jesa feel hua
..kuchh sahi se nahi likha hai mene ..Abhi tak Kahani padhne ke liye dhanyavad..
Update aaj ya kal me aa jayega..
I'm Sorry for disappointing you all ⊙﹏⊙
Namaste
Last edited:
jess175
TATAKAE!
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Aapki story ka idea bhi boht sahi laga mujhe aur sirf sex scenes se hee story nhi banti par yaha hero ka kuch development nhi hua vo bass kuch bhi kr sakta hai, kisi ko bhi control kr sakta hai ekdum se power aane se story lambi kaise kroge cheeze toh same hee rahegiKya likhu samajh nahi aa rha hai
1 ya 2 Update dene ke baad ye story me band kar dunga ..
Aapne or baaki sab readers ne yaha tak kahani padhi hai isliye me isiki ending achhi hi dunga ...socha tha Kum se kum 50 update du par jab mene meri hi story padhi to mujhe bohot bachho jesa feel hua
Abhi tak Kahani padhne ke liye dhanyavad..
Update aaj ya kal me aa jayega..
I'm Sorry for disappointing you all ⊙﹏⊙
Namaste
Aapke likhne ka andaaz funny and interesting hai aur mujhe boht pasand aaya.
Baaki mai koi writer nhi hu bass story read krta hu aur likhne ka gyaan mujhe zyada nhi hai. (Bhai kuch kahe ka bura mat maniyega.
)
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Index
Update 18
°°°°°
Yogendra apne Bhai ki maut ka gum mna rha hota hai...
Tabhi Yogendra ka ek aadmi uske paas aata hai or bta deta hai ki haweli ke aas paas rehne Wale log bta rhe the ki ek 18 saal ke ladke aur ladki aaye the yaha par ...Unhi ka Kiya hua hai sab kuchh...
Yogendra or thodi jaankaari nikalta hai or use pta chalta hai ki us ladki kaa naam Ritu hai or ladke ka naam Avi hai....
Yogendra apne aadmi se kehta hai or ...
-----
Avi apne ghar me hota hai....
Karishma ki god me bethi use kiss kar rhi hoti hai ..
Avi ke ghar ke darwaze par khat khatahak hoti hai...
*Knock*
*Knock*
Avi uthta hai or gate kholta hai...
Avi ko vaha par nilima dikhti hai...nilima ke chehre par ghabrahat or bohot saara paseena tha ..
Nilima - Ritu ! avi ! Avi beta ! Ritu
Avi - are aunty shaant ho jaiye or theek theek btaiye hua kya hai...
Nilima - hmmmmmmm ...vo Yogendra Dada ke aadmi aaye the or Ritu ko utha kar le gye...
Avi - kya !!!
Avi fir foran apne saath apne paancho gurads ko lekar Yogendra ki haweli par jaata hai...
Avi dekhta hai ki Ritu vaha par ek rassi se chair par bandhi bethi hai...
Avi foran Ritu ke paas jaata hai or use kholne lgta hai ...tabhi avi ke pichhe se Yogendra aata hai or uski peeth par ek zordaar laat Marta hai...
Avi *dhummmm* se zameen par gir jaata hai..
Avi apni hypnotize karne wali power se Yogendra ke guards ko order deta hai...
Yogendra ke 3 gunde usi par goliyon ki barsaat kar dete hai...
Ek goli Yogendra ke right per me lgti or ek uske left jaangh me or ek to uske kaam ko faar deti hai.....
Yogendra heraan se sab dekh rha tha ...use achhambha tha ki uske ye gunde usi par goli kyu chla rhe hai ...
Yogendra apni gun apni pocket se nikaalta hai or un teeno ke sar me goli daal deta hai...
Tabhi avi zameen se uth ta hai or Yogendra ke pet par ek zordaar laat maarta hai ....
Ab Yogendra thoda pichhe khisak jaata hai...
Avi Yogendra ke upar beth kar uske upar mukko ki barsaat kar deta hai jaisa ki usne yogesh ke saath kiya tha...
Par achaanak se avi hawa me ud jaata hai or door jaakar girta hai...
Avi ki angoothi se aawaz aati hai...
"Sambhal kar avi...is insaan ke paas us sanki maayog ki angoothi hai..."
Avi - maayog ? kya matlab hai aapka ?
"Yeh Mera gurubhai maayog hai jiski wajah se mujhe hawas ka shraap Mila tha...avi tumhe is aadmi ko maarna hi hoga or uske haath me wo kaale rang ki angoothi ko aaag me jalana hoga..."
Avi - par kese ?
"Apne vashikaran ki takat istemaal karo or ise khatm karo...meri angoothi vashikaran kar sakti hai jab ki maayog ki angoothi ek insaan ke hamlo ko 10 Guna badha deti hai...me tumhe vachan deta hu agar tumne is insaan ko khatam kar ke maayog ki angoothi ko Agni me jala diya to me tumhe kabhi pareshan nahi karunga ...aur me tumhe chhod dunga "
Avi samajh jaata hai ki ab uske jeewan ki aar ya paar ki ladaai hone wali hai...Avi fir apne guards se kehta hai ki Ritu ko yaha se chhuda ka le jaaye ...saath me uske family members ko bhi yaha se kahi door le jaaye or unki suraksha kare ....
Uske guards vesa hi karte hai ...tabhi achanak se avi ke muh par ek laat lagti hai or avi door ek ped se jaa kar takra jaata hai...avi ke mathe or peeth se khoon nikalne lgta hai ....
Avi ke haath or pero ki kuchh haddiyan bhi toot jaati hai...avi apne muh se khoon thookta hai or...
Avi fir Yogendra par hypnotism try karta hai ...
Yogendra shant ho jaata hai par fir 5 second baad hi vo fir se avi ko maarne ke liye aata hai...
Avi fir use Hypnotize karta hai...par jese jese avi apni Hypnotism ki shaktiyaan use kar rha tha vese vese hi use ehsaas ho rha tha ke uski shaktiyaan kum asar dikha rhi hai...
Avi kuchh sochta hai or fir Yogendra ko Hypnotize karta hai or jaldi se uske paas jaakar uski bandook se use hi goliyaan maar deta hai..2 goli haatho par 2 goli. Pero par aur 1 goli Yogendra ke Dil me....uske baad
Avi Yogendra ko tab Tak maarta hai jab tak Yogendra dum nahi Tod deta...
Avi ki angoothi se ek aawaaj aati hai..
"Dhanyawad bacche...aaj tumhari wajah se meri aatma ko shanti mil jayegi ...chinta mat karna jise jise tumne hypnotize Kiya hai vo sab tumhare vash me hi rahenge or aage bhi ye angoothi apna kaam karti rhegi.. par ab mujhe jaana hoga..apne Marne se pehle meri is angoothi ko kisi Nadi me visarjit kar dena ... dhanyawad Avinash...alwida"
Itna kehte hi avi ki angoothi se ek Peele rang ka chamkila dhuaa nikalta hai or avi zameen par gir jaata hai...
Tabhi door se avi ko koi aate hue dikhta hai ...koi ladki ...Ritu ! Aati dikhti hai...
Avi - tum ! Tum yaha kyu aayi ?
Ritu aati hai or avi ko gale se lga leti hai....Ritu ki aankho me aansu hote hai....
Ritu - tumhe chhod ke kese jaa sakti hu avi....
Avi Ritu ke baalo par haath ferta hai....
++++
Scene :
Avi zameen par betha hua tha or Ritu uski baahon me thi..avi Ritu ke baalon par haath fer rha tha...avi ki body se bohot saara khoon nikal chuka tha or avi behoshi ki haalat me tha...
+++++
Avi - Ritu ..tum mere saath vese behave kyu Karti thi ?Matlab meri rag..
Ritu - chup !me tumhari ragging karti thi kyuki..
°°°°°
Kahani padhne ke liye dhanyavad..
Namaste
Update 18
°°°°°
Yogendra apne Bhai ki maut ka gum mna rha hota hai...
Tabhi Yogendra ka ek aadmi uske paas aata hai or bta deta hai ki haweli ke aas paas rehne Wale log bta rhe the ki ek 18 saal ke ladke aur ladki aaye the yaha par ...Unhi ka Kiya hua hai sab kuchh...
Yogendra or thodi jaankaari nikalta hai or use pta chalta hai ki us ladki kaa naam Ritu hai or ladke ka naam Avi hai....
Yogendra apne aadmi se kehta hai or ...
-----
Avi apne ghar me hota hai....
Karishma ki god me bethi use kiss kar rhi hoti hai ..
Avi ke ghar ke darwaze par khat khatahak hoti hai...
*Knock*
*Knock*
Avi uthta hai or gate kholta hai...
Avi ko vaha par nilima dikhti hai...nilima ke chehre par ghabrahat or bohot saara paseena tha ..
Nilima - Ritu ! avi ! Avi beta ! Ritu
Avi - are aunty shaant ho jaiye or theek theek btaiye hua kya hai...
Nilima - hmmmmmmm ...vo Yogendra Dada ke aadmi aaye the or Ritu ko utha kar le gye...
Avi - kya !!!
Avi fir foran apne saath apne paancho gurads ko lekar Yogendra ki haweli par jaata hai...
Avi dekhta hai ki Ritu vaha par ek rassi se chair par bandhi bethi hai...
Avi foran Ritu ke paas jaata hai or use kholne lgta hai ...tabhi avi ke pichhe se Yogendra aata hai or uski peeth par ek zordaar laat Marta hai...
Avi *dhummmm* se zameen par gir jaata hai..
Avi apni hypnotize karne wali power se Yogendra ke guards ko order deta hai...
Yogendra ke 3 gunde usi par goliyon ki barsaat kar dete hai...
Ek goli Yogendra ke right per me lgti or ek uske left jaangh me or ek to uske kaam ko faar deti hai.....
Yogendra heraan se sab dekh rha tha ...use achhambha tha ki uske ye gunde usi par goli kyu chla rhe hai ...
Yogendra apni gun apni pocket se nikaalta hai or un teeno ke sar me goli daal deta hai...
Tabhi avi zameen se uth ta hai or Yogendra ke pet par ek zordaar laat maarta hai ....
Ab Yogendra thoda pichhe khisak jaata hai...
Avi Yogendra ke upar beth kar uske upar mukko ki barsaat kar deta hai jaisa ki usne yogesh ke saath kiya tha...
Par achaanak se avi hawa me ud jaata hai or door jaakar girta hai...
Avi ki angoothi se aawaz aati hai...
"Sambhal kar avi...is insaan ke paas us sanki maayog ki angoothi hai..."
Avi - maayog ? kya matlab hai aapka ?
"Yeh Mera gurubhai maayog hai jiski wajah se mujhe hawas ka shraap Mila tha...avi tumhe is aadmi ko maarna hi hoga or uske haath me wo kaale rang ki angoothi ko aaag me jalana hoga..."
Avi - par kese ?
"Apne vashikaran ki takat istemaal karo or ise khatm karo...meri angoothi vashikaran kar sakti hai jab ki maayog ki angoothi ek insaan ke hamlo ko 10 Guna badha deti hai...me tumhe vachan deta hu agar tumne is insaan ko khatam kar ke maayog ki angoothi ko Agni me jala diya to me tumhe kabhi pareshan nahi karunga ...aur me tumhe chhod dunga "
Avi samajh jaata hai ki ab uske jeewan ki aar ya paar ki ladaai hone wali hai...Avi fir apne guards se kehta hai ki Ritu ko yaha se chhuda ka le jaaye ...saath me uske family members ko bhi yaha se kahi door le jaaye or unki suraksha kare ....
Uske guards vesa hi karte hai ...tabhi achanak se avi ke muh par ek laat lagti hai or avi door ek ped se jaa kar takra jaata hai...avi ke mathe or peeth se khoon nikalne lgta hai ....
Avi ke haath or pero ki kuchh haddiyan bhi toot jaati hai...avi apne muh se khoon thookta hai or...
Avi fir Yogendra par hypnotism try karta hai ...
Yogendra shant ho jaata hai par fir 5 second baad hi vo fir se avi ko maarne ke liye aata hai...
Avi fir use Hypnotize karta hai...par jese jese avi apni Hypnotism ki shaktiyaan use kar rha tha vese vese hi use ehsaas ho rha tha ke uski shaktiyaan kum asar dikha rhi hai...
Avi kuchh sochta hai or fir Yogendra ko Hypnotize karta hai or jaldi se uske paas jaakar uski bandook se use hi goliyaan maar deta hai..2 goli haatho par 2 goli. Pero par aur 1 goli Yogendra ke Dil me....uske baad
Avi Yogendra ko tab Tak maarta hai jab tak Yogendra dum nahi Tod deta...
Avi ki angoothi se ek aawaaj aati hai..
"Dhanyawad bacche...aaj tumhari wajah se meri aatma ko shanti mil jayegi ...chinta mat karna jise jise tumne hypnotize Kiya hai vo sab tumhare vash me hi rahenge or aage bhi ye angoothi apna kaam karti rhegi.. par ab mujhe jaana hoga..apne Marne se pehle meri is angoothi ko kisi Nadi me visarjit kar dena ... dhanyawad Avinash...alwida"
Itna kehte hi avi ki angoothi se ek Peele rang ka chamkila dhuaa nikalta hai or avi zameen par gir jaata hai...
Tabhi door se avi ko koi aate hue dikhta hai ...koi ladki ...Ritu ! Aati dikhti hai...
Avi - tum ! Tum yaha kyu aayi ?
Ritu aati hai or avi ko gale se lga leti hai....Ritu ki aankho me aansu hote hai....
Ritu - tumhe chhod ke kese jaa sakti hu avi....
Avi Ritu ke baalo par haath ferta hai....
++++
Scene :
Avi zameen par betha hua tha or Ritu uski baahon me thi..avi Ritu ke baalon par haath fer rha tha...avi ki body se bohot saara khoon nikal chuka tha or avi behoshi ki haalat me tha...
+++++
Avi - Ritu ..tum mere saath vese behave kyu Karti thi ?Matlab meri rag..
Ritu - chup !me tumhari ragging karti thi kyuki..
°°°°°
Kahani padhne ke liye dhanyavad..
Namaste
Peace RP
New Member
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Koi naa bro mai samjh sakta hu tumhari feelings i think iske baad ab 1 last update hoga aur story khatam ho jayegi but mujhe aapki story sach me acchi lagi bs thoda aur ideas add ho sakte the but koi naaKya likhu samajh nahi aa rha hai
1 ya 2 Update dene ke baad ye story me band kar dunga ..
Aapne or baaki sab readers ne yaha tak kahani padhi hai isliye me isiki ending achhi hi dunga ...socha tha Kum se kum 50 update du par jab mene meri hi story padhi to mujhe bohot bachho jesa feel hua
Abhi tak Kahani padhne ke liye dhanyavad..
Update aaj ya kal me aa jayega..
I'm Sorry for disappointing you all ⊙﹏⊙
Namaste
- 117
- 178
- 44
Thank you Very much RP...i really mean it..aapne story ke start se hi mujhe bohot motivate Kiya hai comment kar ke or suggestions de kar..aapko shayd ye kuchh na lge par me ek introvert hu or koi mujhse baat karta hai to mujhe bohot Khushi hoti hai..aapka 1 , 1 comment meri liye bohot precious hota hai( ꈍᴗꈍ)...thank you very much...or ha 1 last update aayega or story khatm ho jayegi...vese agar mujhse ho saka to me bohot hi achhe tareeke se iska season 2 likhunga...
Namaste
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Aapka bohot bohot dhanyawadAapki story ka idea bhi boht sahi laga mujhe aur sirf sex scenes se hee story nhi banti par yaha hero ka kuch development nhi hua vo bass kuch bhi kr sakta hai, kisi ko bhi control kr sakta hai ekdum se power aane se story lambi kaise kroge cheeze toh same hee rahegi
Aapke likhne ka andaaz funny and interesting hai aur mujhe boht pasand aaya.
Baaki mai koi writer nhi hu bass story read krta hu aur likhne ka gyaan mujhe zyada nhi hai. (Bhai kuch kahe ka bura mat maniyega.
...and haa story me hero ka development hua nahi sahi se ye me maanta hu...mene ye story sirf ek trial ke roop me likhni chalu ki thi par aapko or baaki sabko ye story achhi lgi or aapne ye story yaha tak padhi ye dekh kar me bohot khush hu (◍•ᴗ•◍)...Agar aapko kuchh achha lga hai to aapne tareef ki ..bura lga to Aapne galti point out ki
..isme bura manne wali koi baat nahi hai(◠‿◕)..
Critisism important hai ek writer ke liye...aap writer nahi par reader to ho na (✯ᴗ✯)...me sirf ek kahani likhne wala hu par aap sab lag bhag 9 hazaar ke aaspaas ho...
Readers or writer me suggestions exchange hone hi chahiye...in short ...mujhe bilkul bhi bura nahi lga ( ´◡‿ゝ◡`)....
Apke is comment ke liye aapka khoob aabhar..ye kahani khatm nahi Hui hai S1 khatam ho rha hai..s2 me Mai apni poori koshish karunga aap sab ko entertain karne ki ( ╹▽╹ )..
Namaste