Aarav chala gaya, aur ek baar phir wahi hua uski wahi adhoori si nazar, uska mujhse baat na karna, uska mujhe anjaan sa banakar rakha dena. Char saalon se yahi chal raha tha, char saal! Aur main? Main to bas uski ek chhoti si muskurahat ke liye pagal si ho uthi thi. Aarav ke chehre par maine itne saalon mein ek baar bhi woh purani wali muskan nahi dekhi thi, woh muskan jo kabhi meri wajah se uske chehre par aati thi.
Yeh dard, yeh tadap, sirf main hi jaanti thi kitna gehra, kitna bebas sa dard tha yeh jo mujhe ho raha tha, yeh dard jo har pal mere seene ko chhedta rehta tha.
Aarav chala gaya, aur main aur Nina wahi baithi rahi. Nina mujhe kuchh bol rahi thi, shayad apne college ki baatein, apne doston ke kisse, ya koi aur baat. Par main? Main to bas darwaze ki taraf dekhti rahi, jahan se Aarav abhi abhi nikla tha. Mere seene mein ek ajeeb sa dard uth raha tha, ek wazan sa, jo shayad Aarav ke saath hi mere dil mein chhod gaya tha.
Nina ki awaaz mere kaanon tak jaati, par samajh nahi aati thi. Shayad isiliye usne mere kandhe ko halka sa jhatka diya, aur main ekdum se hosh mein aayi. Nina mere paas hi baithi thi, aur main to kahi kho si gayi thi.
Nina: Maa, kahan kho gayi aap?
Main: Nahi… nahi to… tu bol na, kya bol rahi thi?
Nina: Arre, main bol rahi thi aaj college mein…
Lekin baat uske poore hone se pehle hi meri nazar phir se darwaze ki taraf chali gayi. Nina ki awaaz dhire dhire doob si gayi, jaise koi radio ka signal chala jata hai na. Mera dil baithta ja raha tha, meri dhadkanein ek ajeeb se dard mein badal rahi thi. Main khud ko rokne ki koshish kar rahi thi, par aaj… aaj main apne aap ko sambhal nahi pa rahi thi. Meri aankhein nam ho gayi thi, par main yaha, Nina ke samne ro nahi sakti thi. Maine apne aap ko sambhala, apni awaaz ko thodi si sakhti di.
Main: Main… main thodi der kamre mein ja rahi hu. Tu baith ke TV dekh.
Nina: Kya hua, maa?
Main: Kuchh nahi, bas… kapde dhone hain.
Yeh kehkar main apne kamre ki taraf badhi. Darwaza band karte hi meri aankhon se aansuon ki dhaar beh nikli. Mera dil cheekh cheekh kar rona chahta tha, par main aisa nahi kar sakti thi. Agar main zor se roti, to Nina sun leti, aur phir woh sawaal karti. sawaal jinka jawab mere paas nahi tha, ya shayad jawab dene ki himmat nahi thi.
Maine apni saree ko jor se daboch liya, aur chupchap roti rahi, apne dil ke saath hi baatein karne lagi.
Main: Akhir kyun, Aarav? Kyun aisa karta ho tum? Mera woh purana Aarav kaha chala gaya? Woh Aarav jo mujhse pyar karta tha, jo mujhse ghanton tak baatein karta tha, jo meri ek ek baat pe hasa karta tha? Tum badal kyun gaya, Aarav? Kyun? Kyun?
Mera dil bhar aaya tha. Rone ke siwa mere paas koi chara nahi tha. Har aansu mere dil ke wazan ko aur badha raha tha, par uska koi ilaaj nahi tha mere paas.
Main: Nina ne mujhse pucha, ‘Bhaiya aisa kyun hai?’ Main usse kya jawab du, Aarav? Tum hi batao, kya jawab du? Usne pucha ki main tumhe ‘tum’ kyun kehti hu? Main usse kya bolu? Iska jawab….. yeh jawab main nahi de sakti, Aarav. Iska jawab bohat... Bohat khatarnak hai Aarav, bohat khatarnak.
Agar... agar maine yeh jawab diya, to sab kuchh khatam ho jayega. Yeh jawab itna khatarnak hai, itna gehra, ki iska bojh main akeli hi utha sakti hu, sirf mein.
Mere gaal aansuon se bheeg gaye. Woh garam aansu mere chehre ko chhoo kar neeche gir rahe the, aur har boond ke saath mera dil aur bhaari hota ja raha tha.
Main: Maine tumhe liye kya nahi kiya, Aarav? Bachpan se lekar aaj tak, maine tumhara har khayal rakha. Har chhoti si baat ka dhyan rakha. Aur tum? Tum mujhe nazarandaaz karte hao. Kyun, Aarav? Kyun aisa karte ho? Mera dil dukhta hai, Aarav… jab tum mujhse baat nahi karte, jab tum mujhe dekhte bhi nahi. Main har din, har pal, bas tumhari ek nazar ke liye tarasti hu. Sochti hu ki shayad aaj tum mujhe dekhoge, shayad aaj tum mujhse baat karoge. Par har din… har din tum mujhe ignore karte ho. Kyun? Meri zindagi… yeh zindagi khali khali si hai, Aarav. Main bas ghut ghut ke jee rahi hu.
Main roti rahi, chup chap. Apne aap se apne dil se baatein karti rahi, aur tabhi meri nazar uss bistar par padi, jaha main aur mera pati Ankur sote the. Woh bistar mujhe ek saza sa laga. Mere andar ka gussa ubal pada, ek aag si jal uthi. Main bistar ke paas gayi aur chadar ko jor se khinch liya.
Main: Mujhe ghin aati hai is bistar se, Ghin aati hai Ankur ke paas sone se, Jab main iss bistar par uske saath let ti hu, mujhe ulti aati hai.… Ankur ke saath sona mujhe ghinona lagta hai.
Pata nahi us din mujhe kya ho gaya tha, par main pagal si ho rahi thi. Gussa, dard, roti hui awaaz sab ek saath mere andar se nikal raha tha.
Main: Mujhe nafrat hai iss bistar se, iss takiye se, iss chadar se… iss kamre ki har ek cheez se Main is kamre mein nahi rehna chahti Main… main chahti hu ki…..
Maine khud ko rok liya. Jo baat main aage kehne ja rahi thi, woh itni khatarnak thi ki main usse bol nahi sakti thi. Par dard? Dard ko kaise roku? Uska koi ilaaj to tha nahi mere paas. Yeh koi Bollywood film nahi thi, jahan sab kuchh ek geet ke saath theek ho jata hai. Yeh meri zindagi thi meri apni, akeli zindagi, jaha koi meri dard sunne nahi aata, koi meri tadap ko samajhne nahi aata. Maine bistar ki chadar ko khinch kar phenk diya. Agar mere andar itni taakat hoti, to main ye pura bistar uthakar phenk deti. Par main itni taakatvar nahi thi na dil se, na taakat se. Mein bas ro hi sakti thi, bas ro sakti thi.
Main: Ankur… Ankur ek haiwan hai, Aarav. Woh mujhe… woh mujhe ek Randi samajhta hai, uss din... Uss din usne mere saath....
yeh bolte hi meri rona aur tezz ho gaye. Meri saansein atak ti ja rahi thi, jaise mera dil meri saanson ko rok raha ho.
Main: Main koi randi nahi hu, Aarav! Main… main tumhe sab kuchh batana chahti hu. Apne bite hue din, apne dard, apni har ek mann ki baat… par tum mujhe dekhte hi nahi. Tum mujhse baat karte hi nahi. Main har din, har pal tumse baat karne ke liye tarasti hu, Aarav. Par tum… tum kyun badal gaya? Kyun?
Main chupchap roti rahi, apne dard ko seene mein dabaye. Do ghante beet gaye the, aur main wahi zameen par baithi thi, roti hui. Thakawat itni ho gayi thi ki main wahi so gayi. Jab bhi main itna roti thi, thak jati thi, aur neend aa jati thi, shayad isiliye ki rona band ho jaye, shayad isiliye ki main khud ko sambhal saku.
Tabhi kamre ke bahar se Nina ki awaaz aayi.
Nina: Maa?
Maine jaldi se apna chehra paani se dho liya, taki aansuon ke nishaan na dikhe. Saree thik ki, aur bahar nikli.
Main: Ha, bol, kya hua?
Nina: Maa, kab se bula rahi hu, Aap to boli thi kapde dhone ja rahi ho, phir kya hua?
Maine hansne ki koshish ki, apne dard ko chhupate hue.
Main: Arre, woh thodi der neend aa gayi thi, isliye so gayi.
Nina: Accha, woh chhodo, ye batao, shaam ko Rekha ji ke ghar jana hai, gift to kharidna hoga na?
Main: Ha, yeh bhi koi puchne ki baat hai?
Nina: Arre, puch nahi rahi, main keh rahi hu ki kya gift dena hai, aur kharidne kaun ja raha hai?
Main: Mujhe to abhi ghar ke kaam hain. Hmm… tu ja ke le aa.
Nina: Main nahi jaungi, bahar dhoop hai.
Main: Nautanki mat kar.
Nina: Arre, main nai jaungi, par… haaa, bhaiya ko bolo, woh le aayenge.
Main: Kya tu bhi? Woh abhi dukaan dekh raha hoga, tu ja.
(Dukaan matlab humara jo business hai woh)
Nina: Nahi na, aap bhaiya ko bolo.
Main: Arre, ruk.
Nina to fudakte hui apne kamre mein chali gayi. Ab mere paas koi chara nahi bacha tha, mujhe Aarav ko call karna hi pada. Mein usse disturb nahi karna chahte thi, Maine phone uthaya, dil mein ek ajeeb si ghabrahat thi. Mein usse darti nahi thi par aagar woh distarb ho jaye? Uski ghabrahat thi. Do-teen baar call kiya, tab jaake usne uthaya.
Main: H-hello, Aarav?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Umm… woh, shaam ko Rekha ji ke ghar jana hai, tumhe bataya tha na?Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Haa, to… to gift lana hoga.
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Nina dhoop mein bahar nahi jana chahti, aur… aur abhi mujhe ghar pe kaam hai. To… to kya tum gift le aayoge?
Aarav chup raha. Main samajh gayi ki woh nahi chahta gift lene jaye. Maine hansne ki koshish ki, apne dard ko chhupate hue.
Main: Hahaha, main bhi na, bilkul buddhu hu! Tum to dukaan pe ho, kaise le aayoge? Koi baat nahi, main le aaungi.
Aarav: Bahar dhoop hai?
Main: Huh?
Aarav: Bahar dhoop hai. Main le aaunga.
Mera dil ekdum se khushi se bhar gaya. Maine apne baalon ko ungli se gol gol ghumana shuru kar diya, jaise mein sharma rahi hu. Mere pet mein wahi gudgudi shuru ho gayi thi.
Main: Thik hai…
Aarav : rakhta hu.
Main: aree? Ruko.... umm, suno.
Maine sofe par baithte hue kaha.
Main: Woh… tum aise ghar se chale kyun gaye?
Aarav: Dukaan pe kaam tha.
Main: Hmm… aur tumhari padhai?
Aarav: Subah kar chuka tha.
Main: Oh… accha.
Main usse baat karne ka ek bhi mauka nahi chhodna chahti thi. Par woh to wahi, chupchap, na zyada baatein, na kuchh aur. Budhu kahi Ka.
Aarav: Rakhta hu.
Main: Arre, suno… woh…
Aarav: Kya?
Main: umm... Tum shaam ko hamare saath chal rahe ho na?
Aarav: Nahi.
Usne wahi rukha sukha jawab diya. Par maine apni awaaz mein pyaar banaye rakha, aur dhire se bola. Jaise mein usse request kar rahi hu.
Main: Tum mere saath jaoge, to mujhe accha lagega, Aarav.
Woh chup raha. Maine kuchh der uske jawab ka intezaar kiya, par mujhe pata tha ki woh ab kuchh nahi bolega. Maine baat ghumane ki koshish ki.
Main: Aur batao, tum kya kar rahe ho….
Aur tabhi usne call kaat diya. Meri ungli, jo baalon mein gol gol ghum rahi thi, ekdum se ruk gayi. Ek baar phir usne mujhe nazarandaaz kar diya. Par mere hothon par ek muskurahat thi, nahi, yeh khushi ki muskurahat nahi thi. Yeh woh muskurahat thi, jisse main apne dard ko chhupati thi.
Maine ek gehri saans li aur ghar ke kaamon mein lag gayi. Dheere dheere shaam ho gayi. Ankur bhi ghar aa gaya tha, aur Nina ne usse bata diya ki humein Rekha ji ke ghar jana hai. Par Aarav abhi tak nahi aaya tha. Nina bhi pareshan thi, aur... Mein.. meri meri baat to chhod hi do.
Nina: Maa, bhaiya to abhi bhi nahi aaye.
Main: Aa jayega.
Nina: Ohho, pata nahi kab aayega woh. Usne gift liya bhi ya nahi? kab aayega?
Main: Phone karke dekh na.
Nina ne phone lagaya, par Aarav ne nahi uthaya.
Nina: Maa, bhaiya phone nahi utha raha.
Main: Bike pe hoga.
Tabhi Ankur bol pada.
Ankur: Woh aa jayega, tu ready ho le.
Nina: Hmm, main ja hi rahi thi.
Kehkar Nina chali gayi. Main sofe par baithi thi, TV ke samne, par dhyan kahi aur tha. Ankur iss mauke ka fayda uthate hue mere paas baith gaya.
Ankur: Waise, Jaanvi, tum…
Usne itna hi bola tha ki main wahan se uth gayi. Na main usse baat karna chahti thi, na us haiwan ke paas baithna. Main sidha bathroom gayi, fresh hui, aur ab tayyar hone ka waqt tha.
Maine ek hari silk ki saree nikali, jismein sunehre phoolon ke chhote chhote nakkashidar pattern the. Saree ke kinare par sundar sunehra zari ka kaam tha. Iske saath maine kaale rang ka blouse pehna, aur sone aur rangin patharon se jade halke gehne, badi jhumka, ek haar, aur haathon mein sunehri chudiyan.
Makeup mein maine halki si lipstick, kajal, thodi si eyebrow ki, aur ek chhoti si bindi lagayi. Main stylish nahi hu, kabhi thi bhi nahi, bas simple rehna pasand karti hu. Phir bhi, jab maine aaine mein khud ko dekha, to mujhe laga main sundar lag rahi hu. Kuchh aisa.
Dil mein ek chhoti si aas jagi ki shayad Aarav mujhe aise dekhega, to uska kya reaction kiya hoga? Main excited ho uthi.
Main tayyar ho gayi, Nina bhi tayyar thi woh bhi pyari lag rahi thi. Ankur bhi ready tha, woh mujhe hi ghoor raha tha. Par Main to bas Aarav ka intezaar kar rahi thi. Ab tak to usse aa jana chahiye tha, upar se phone bhi nahi utha raha tha. Dil mein tension si hone lagi.
Nina: Maa, pyari lag rahi ho aap.
Main: Sach mein kya?
Nina: Sach mein, sundar lag rahi ho aap.
Main: Tu bhi to pyari lag rahi hai.
Maine muskurate hue kaha.
Nina: Aap se zyada nahi.
Main: Chal, chal, bahut hua.
Ankur: Jaanvi, sundar lag rahi ho.
Main: Nina, bhaiya ko call laga jara.
Maine ankur ki baat jawab nahi diya. Tabhi doorbell baji. Mera dil zor se dhadka, aur pata nahi kyun, mere gaal laal ho gaye. Main sharma gayi. Kyunki Mujhe pata tha Aarav aaya hoga. Main sochne lagi ki jab woh mujhe aise saj dhaj kar dekhega, to kya bolega? Kya meri tareef karega? Main yahi sab soch rahi thi.
Main: Nina, ja dekh, Aarav aaya hoga.
Nina: Maa, jao na tum, main TV dekh rahi hu.
Main: Nina, ja, nahi to thappad lagaungi.
Nina: Oh, thik hai baba, jati hu.
Main darwaza kholne nahi jana chahti thi, kyunki main Aarav ke samne aise jaungi to sharma jaungi. Isliye maine zabardasti Nina ko bheja. Nina ne darwaza khola, aur main wahi se dekh rahi thi. Mera dil zor zor se dhadak raha tha, kyunki main sahi thi samne Aarav hi tha. Usse dekhkar mere hothon par ek muskurahat aa gayi. Aur Ankur bhi paas hi baitha tha.
Nina: Bhaiya, itna late kyun ho gaye?
Aarav: Kaam tha.
Ankur: Waise, business kaisa chal raha hai, Aarav beta?
Aarav ne Ankur ko nahi dekha, balki usne aise ghoora, jaise Ankur usse darta ho. Ankur ekdum chup ho gaya.
Nina: Bhaiya, gifts kya laye ho?
Aarav ne Nina ke haath mein gift ka packet thama diya. Nina gifts dekhne lagi.
Nina: Accha gift hai, bhaiya.
Nina ko gifts ki padi thi, Ankur ko business ki, par mujhe? Mujhe to bas Aarav ki padi thi. Main chupke se usse dekh rahi thi, yeh sochkar ki kya woh mujhe dekh raha hoga? Par nahi, woh mujhe nahi dekh raha tha.
Main: Umm… Aarav, tum aa rahe ho na hamare saath?
Aarav: Nahi.
Nina: Ye kya, bhaiya?
Main: Rekha ji ne hum sabko bulaya hai, Aarav.
Ankur: Ha, Aarav.
Aarav: Mujhe nahi jana, ek baat kitni baar bolu?Mujhe abhi padhna hai.
Usne thodi unchi awaaz mein bola. Nina bechari to dar hi gayi, aur sirf Nina hi nahi, Ankur bhi. Main khud saham si gayi.
Nina: Par bhaiya…
Aarav: Nina, Ek baat aur kitni baar bolu?
Bechari Nina, Aarav ne usse dant diya. Fir Aarav apne kamre mein chala gaya. Main kitni excited thi ki woh mujhe dekhega, par hahaha, usne dekha to dur ki baat, aisa laga jaise main wahan thi hi nahi uske liye, Bura lagna kise kehte hai, koi mujhse poochhe. Mujhe bohat bura laga.
Main: Tum… tum dono jao.
Nina: Huh?
Ankur: Kya matlab tum dono jao? Tum nahi chalogi?
Nina: Maa?
Main: Nahi, tum dono jao.
Nina: Par maa, Rekha aunty bura maan jayengi, aur didi bhi. Didi ke saath to humne bachpan mein khela karta tha…
Main: Isiliye bol rahi hu, tum dono jao.
Ankur: Arre, ab tumhe kya hua? Yaar, itni achhi tayyar hokar baithi hai, aur chalegi nahi?
Main: Nina, bola na, tum dono jao. Mera jane ka mood nahi hai.
Dono samajh gaye ki ab mera bhi jane ka mood nahi tha. Jab Aarav nahi jayega, to mera mood kaise hota jane ka?
Nina: Dekha, maine kaha tha na, bhaiya nahi jayega.
Main: Hmm.
Mere vishwas ki dhajjiyan ud gayi. Mujhe laga tha ki mera beta mera mann rakhega, par… nahi.
Main: Nina, bola na, tum dono jao.
Nina: Arre, par…
Maine gusse se Nina ki taraf dekha.
Main: Nina! Jao, tum dono.
Ankur: Kya yaar, chal Nina, yeh dono jane se rahe, tu chal.
Nina ne ek baar mujhe dekha, phir Ankur ko.
Nina: Thik hai.
Dono jane lage. Main darwaza band karne gayi, to Ankur ne apni ghinoni si smile ke saath bola.
Ankur: Aise, Jaanvi, aaj tum kayamat lag rahi ho.
Maine koi jawab nahi diya aur uske muh par hi darwaza jor se band kar diya. Mere mann se bas ek chhoti si baat nikli.
Main: Chutiya.
Waise to main kabhi gali nahi deti thi. Zindagi mein kabhi kisi ko gali nahi di thi. Par aaj mera mood kharab tha, upar se Aarav bhi nahi ja raha tha. Aur Ankur ka gandi woh baat mujhe aur bhi gussa dila diya, Isiliye frustration mein mere muh se gali nikal gayi.
Phir main sofe par baith gayi. Aaj main Nina se haar gayi. Mera bada vishwas tha ki Aarav hamare saath chalega, par aisa nahi hua. Lekin ruko… main aise nahi haar sakti, Aarav ko leke to bilkul nahi.
Main: Nahi… nahi, main usse leke jaungi. Mera vishwas mere bete ke liye itna kamzor nahi hai…
Main uthi aur ek nayi aas ke saath Aarav ke kamre ki taraf gayi. Uska darwaza khula tha. Maine dekha, woh study table par padh raha tha. Main dhire se uske peeche gayi, khadi ho gayi. Meri chudiyon ki khanak se uska padhna ruk gaya. Sayad usse pata chala ki main aaye hu. Woh peeche muda, meri taraf dekha. Meri aankhein abhi nam thi, mere mann mein kiya chal rahi thi sirf mein jaanti thi, par maine muskurane ki koshish ki.
Aarav: Maine bola na, mujhe nahi jana.
Main dhire se uske paas gayi, uske bagal mein baith gayi, aur uski aankhon mein dekha. Usne meri aankhon mein aansu dekhe, par main phir bhi muskurayi. Kuchh der main usse dekhti rahi, aur woh mujhe. Phir maine dhire se bolna shuru kiya.
Main: Aarav?
Main: Main bhi nahi ja rahi hu.
Usne apna muh pher liya, aur kitaab ko dekhte hue bola.
Aarav: Aap jao.
Main: Tum chalo.
Aarav: Mujhe padhna hai.
Maine kuchh nahi bola. Kuchh der main usse dekhti rahi. Nahi, mujhe ab bhi vishwas tha ki main usse apne saath le jaungi. Mera vishwas itna kamzor nahi tha. Maine dhire se bola.
Main: Aarav, main… main sara din ghar pe akeli rehti hu. Nina bhi college chali jati hai, aur tum… tum to mujhse baatein tak nahi karte. Maine socha tha ki… ki aaj is bahane main in chaar diwaro ki zindagi se bahar jaungi… tumhare saath. To mujhe accha lagega. Aarav, main… main chahti hu ki tum mere saath chalo.
Par Aarav ka koi jawab nahi aaya.
Main: Please, Aarav.
Aarav wahi apni kitaab ko dekhta raha. Aur Mera dil toot ta raha, jaise koi kanch ka tukda chur chur ho raha ho. Farq sirf itna tha ki kanch tootne se awaaz hoti hai, par mere dil ke tootne ki koi awaaz nahi thi. Meri aankhein nam thi, phir bhi maine pyar se, muskurate hue kaha.
Main: Mujhe vishwas tha ki tum jarur chaloge… mere saath. Nina bol bhi rahi thi ki tum nahi jaoge, par mujhe vishwas tha. Lekin ab lag raha hai ki mera… mera vishwas kamzor hai, hai na? Main haar gayi aaj, Nina se.
Maine muskurate hue wahan se uthi. Ab kuchh kehna baki nahi tha. Mera dil toot raha tha, mere sare armaan toot rahe the. Mujhe bahut rona aa raha tha, par main Aarav ke samne rona nahi chahti thi. Main uthi, darwaze tak pahunch gayi, apne toote dil ke saath, aur tabhi
Aarav: Time kitna hua?
Main: Huh?
Aarav: Time?
Maine phone par dekha. Abhi 6:20 ho rahe the.
Main: 6:20, kyun?
Aarav: 30 minute dijiye, main naha ke aata hu.
Yeh sunte hi meri nam aankhein chamak uthi. Aisa laga jaise main khushi se uchal paru. Mera dil kushi gadgad ho utha.
Main: Tum… tum chal rahe ho?
Aarav: Ha.
Yeh kehte hue woh bathroom chala gaya. Maine kya batayu, meri khushi ki seema nahi thi. Mera mann kar raha tha ki main abhi uchal kood karun. Aarav mere saath chalega! Mere saath! Haye…
Evdhi aanand may kute rakhu?
Woh nahane chala gaya, aur main uske bistar par baith gayi, uske kapde nikalne lagi.
Main: Uska kapda nikal deti hu.
Maine uski almari se ek safed shirt aur safed pant nikali, kyunki mujhe safed rang pasand hai. aur bistar par rakhi. Mujhe itni excitement ho rahi thi ki akhir mera vishwas rang laya. Kaise rang nahi aata mein maa thi uski.
Thodi der baad Aarav bahar aaya, aur... Aur meri saansein atak gayi. Mera mu khula ka khula reh gaya.
Woh... Woh sirf ek towel mein tha. Uska nanga seena, uski kasavati purushali body…
mere gaal laal ho gaye. Usne mujhe dekha, to maine jhat se apni nazar hata li, mein Sharma gaye, isliye maine apna sarr jhuka liya, mein nahi chahti thi woh usse aise sharmate huye dekhe.
Main: Main… woh… umm… woh… yaha kapde rakhe hain. Tum… tum jaldi pahankar bahar aao. Main… bahar wait kar rahi hu.
Yeh kehte hue main sar jhukaye, nazar churate hue bahar aa gayi.
Main (mann mein): Bap... Bap re, kay mhanu, laj watte. Aga, kiti lajvani zali.
Mera chehra sharam se garam ho gaya. Maine apne gaal chhue, to laga jaise bukhar sa chadh gaya ho. Hehe.
Thodi der baad Aarav bahar aaya. Usne wahi safed shirt aur pant pehni thi jo maine nikali thi, aur ek blazer bhi daal liya tha. Black belt, black watch, black shoes… kuchh aisa.
kya batau? Woh itna sundar lag raha tha ki meri aankhein usse hati hi nahi. Mera beta… itna handsome, itna sundar.
Aarav: Chale?
Main: Huh?
Aarav: Rekha aunty ke ghar nahi jana?
Main: Oh… haa…
Main to mano kho si gayi thi. Par khud ko sambhala. Main uske samne aise pesh nahi aa sakti. Fir humne ghar lock kiya aur Rekha ji ke ghar ke liye nikal pade. Unka ghar hamare ghar se zyada door nahi tha paidal bas 5 minute ka rasta.
Aarav mere aage chal raha tha, aur main uske peeche. Main usse dekhti ja rahi thi, aur apne mann mein hi khudse batein karne lagi.
Main (mann mein): Aarav kiti badalala ahe aata, Kiti lamba zala ahe to, dikhayla pan majhyasarkha chaan. Shiksanata pan changla ahe, business pan sambhalto. Sarv kahi tar perfect ahe tyat, fakt thoda kami bolto majhyashi. Bas yehi ek choti si kami, nahi tar aapla Aarav ekdum mast ahe!
Main yeh sab soch hi rahi thi ki tabhi mere bagal se ek bike guzri. Main kuchh samajh pati, usse pehle Aarav ne mera haath pakda, jor se khincha, aur apne paas le aaya. Main hakki bakki usse dekhti rahi. Do second ke liye mujhe kuchh samajh nahi aaya, par jab bike ki awaaz aayi, to mujhe ehsaas hua.
Aarav: Aap kya soch rahi thi? Bike ja raha tha, dekha nahi aapne?
Usne beech raste mujh par chilla diya, mujhe daant diya. Par maine bura nahi mana. Ulta mera dil khushi se gadgad ho utha. Main mann hi mann muskurayi, par khud ke hi bete se aise daant khana woh bhi beech raste pe, Sharam ki baat thi na? Mujhe bhi sharam aa gaye, meine sar jhuka liya.
Main: Woh… sorry… main…
Aarav: Kya soch rahi thi aap? Samne dekhkar chaliye, idhar aaiye.
Usne apni bhaari awaaz mein kaha aur mujhe apne paas rakh liya. Main chupchap uske bagal mein chalti rahi. Aap log samajh gaye honge ki main usse itna izzat kyun karti hu.
Mein (mann mein) : mi tumhari vichar karat hote, budhu.
Main (mann mein): Usse meri fikar hai. Ha, sach mein usse meri fikar hai. Dikhata nahi, par hai.
Mere hothon par ek muskurahat aa gayi. Woh chalta raha, aur main bhi, par meri nazar us par hi thi. Shayad Aarav ko bhi yeh ehsaas ho gaya tha.
Aarav: Kya?
Main: tum handsome lag rahe ho.
Maine muskurate hue kaha, par usne koi jawab nahi diya. Main bura nahi mani. Main uske paas hi chal rahi thi, bilkul paas, bas kuchh inch ka faasla tha. Mehfooz mehsus karna kise kehte hai, yeh mujhe tab samajh aaya. Ek suraksha ka ehsaas. Meri nazar uske haath par padi, woh haath jo dikhne mein hi itna shaktishali lagta tha. Mera mann kiya ki main uska haath tham lu. Maine dhire se uska haath pakadne ki koshish ki, par meri kismat, Hum chalte chalte Rekha ji ke ghar pahunch gaye. Pata hi nahi chala. Haye, meri kismat jo main chahti thi, woh kabhi pura nahi hota. Par main khush thi. Aarav mere saath aaya tha.
Hum Rekha ji ke ghar mein gaye. Waha sajawat bahut sundar thi. Ghar roshni se jagmaga raha tha. Bahut sare log the, hasi mazaak chal raha tha.
Nina aur Ankur ne humein dur se dekha aur woh dono chonk gaye. Unhe to lag raha tha donon nahi aayenge Woh dono hamare paas aaye.
Nina: Aap to keh rahi thi nahi aaogi? Aur bhaiya?
Ankur: Kya baat hai, Jaanvi, aaj to badi khubsurat lag rahi ho. Par tum to keh rahi thi mood nahi hai, haha mujhe miss kar rahi thi kiya?
Maine Ankur ki baat ko andekha kiya aur Nina ko dekhkar muskurayi.
Main: Maine kaha tha na, Aarav jarur aayega.
Nina: Ha, bhaiya? aap to badi jid kar rahe the ki nahi aoge.
Main: Ab aa gaya na.Woh chhodo, Rekha ji kuchh puch rahi thi kya?
Nina: Aur nahi to kya? Woh puch rahi thi aap dono nahi aaye.
Main: Tune kya bola?
Nina: Maine bola bhaiya ko kaam hai, isliye late ho raha hai.
Main: Shukar hai…
Tabhi Rekha ji humein dekhte hue paas aayi.
Rekha ji: Aarav ki maa, Main tumhe phone karne wali thi. Nina bol rahi thi tum kuchh kaam mein fasi ho.
Main: Ji, woh Aarav thoda late ho gaya tha isliye.
Rekha ji: Chalo, shukar hai tum aa gaye, nahi to kal subah tumhe bhala bura kehti.
Main: Arre, kaise nahi aati? Aapki beti ka janamdin hai. Woh to Aarav thoda late ho gaya isliye.
Rekha ji: Aur Aarav beta, tum kaise ho?
Aarav: Main thik hu, aunty. Aap kaise hain?
Rekha ji: Main bhi. Teri maa keh rahi thi, aaj kal bahut padhai kar raha hai.
Aarav: Ji, bas exams ki taiyari.
Rekha ji: Achi baat hai. Arre, sab chalo, baitho, thodi der baad cake cut hone wala hai, aayo aayo.
Hum sab baith gaye. Ankur aur Aarav dusri taraf chale gaye, jahan mard log apni baatein kar rahe the.
Hum aurat log apni baatein karne lage. Main aur Nina bhi wahi baithi thi.
Anuja: Aunty, aap to cute lag rahi ho.
Anuja, Rekha ji ki beti, jiska janamdin hum manane aaye the.
Main: Kya, tu bhi.
Anuja: Sach mein, aunty. Maa se puch lo.
Rekha ji: Maine to subah hi bola tha, Aarav ki maa, din ba din sundar hoti ja rahi hai.
Nina: Arre, mujhe bhi to koi dekho, yaar! Main bhi to sundar hu.
Rekha ji: Tu to sabse pyari hai.
Meine nina ke sarr pe haath sahlate hue Kaha.
Main: Meri bachi to sabse sundar hai.
Aur phir hum aise hi auraton wali baatein karte rahe. Hasi mazak hota raha. Sab meri tareef kar rahe the, aur mujhe bhi acha lag raha tha.
Main hans to rahi thi, par dil mein ek khali pan sa tha. Sab meri tareef ke pul bandh rahe the, par mera beta? Na to usne mujhe dekha, na hi meri tareef ki. Woh thodi dur khada tha, aur main baki auraton ke saath baatein karte hue bhi usse hi dekhti rahi.
Bas ye chahti thi ki Aarav mujhe ek baar dekhe, pyaar se, bas ek baar. Par woh meri taraf dekh hi nahi Raha tha.
Main (mann mein): Khadoos kahi ka, ek baar dekha tak nahi, Huh.
Main mann hi mann usse gussa ho rahi thi. Par tabhi, jaise kisi ne meri mann ki baat sun li, maine dekha Aarav ki aankhein meri taraf ek baar ghuma.
Main (mann mein): Usne… usne mujhe dekha? Ha… ha, usne mujhe dekha! Woh… woh mujhe hi dekh raha hai…Woh mujhe dekh raha tha?
Main mann hi mann khushi se uchal padi. Aisa laga jaise mere dil mein titliyan ud rahi ho, mere pet mein gudgudi ho rahi ho. Main usse dekhti rahi, aur mano us shor sharabe mein bhi sirf hum dono hi the, main aur Aarav.
Maine usse dekh pyaar se halka muskura diya. Aisa tha Mein usse puch rahi hu ki kiya huya?
Par tabhi usne apna muh pher liya. Mujhe bura to laga, par main khush bhi thi, akhir usne mujhe thodi der ke liye dekha to sahi.
Ha, main uske muh se apni tareef sunna to chahti thi, par yeh zindagi to koi movie nahi thi, jaha sab kuchh mil jata hai.
Phir cake cutting ka samay aaya. Sabne cake kata, wishes kiye, hasi mazak chalta raha. Par meri nazar to Aarav par hi thi. Woh in sab ke beech bhi kahi khoya sa laga. Mano usne hasna bhul hi diya ho.
Main (mann mein): Tum aise kyun ho, Aarav? Mujhse baatein karo na, apni maa se apni dil ki baat batao karo na.
Phir sab khana khane baith gaye. Nina aur main ek taraf, Ankur aur Aarav ek taraf, charon ek dusre ke samne.
Ankur: Waise, Jaanvi, tum aaj…
Ankur phir se mujhe compliment dena ja raha tha, par maine uski baat kaat di.
Main: Arre, Nina, woh dekh, unki necklace kitni sundar hai na?
Nina : woh Bhavna aunty?
Mein: Ha, wahi wali.
Nina: Ha, bahut sundar hai. Lagta hai mehengi hogi.
Main: Woh to hogi hi.
Tabhi catering wala ek admi khana parosne aaya. Woh Aarav ko chawal dene ja raha tha. Pat maine usse rok diya.
Main: Arre, usse itna chawal mat do. Woh itna chawal nahi khata.
Arre, usse gajar ka salad de do. Usse gajar pasand nahi.
Arre, woh mat do usse.
ha, yeh wala do, yeh usse pasand hai.
Main janti thi Aarav ko kya pasand hai, kya nahi. Hum sabne khana khaya, par main khate khate bhi Aarav ko hi dekhti rahi. Ek aas se ki fir se ek ek baar Aarav mujhe dekhle, lekin aisa kucch huya. Usne mujhe dekha tak nahi. Yeh ek hi aisa ek khalipan tha jo mere dil mein hamesha rehta tha.
Phir humne rekha ji se wida li, hum ghar ki taraf chal diye. Yeha pe jiyada Kuch huya nahi aur hum Ghar pahunche, Aarav apne kamre mein chala gaya, Nina bhi. Main aur Ankur bhi apne kamre mein gaye.
Main aaine ke samne baithkar apne gehne utaar rahi thi. Aaine mein khud ko dekhti rahi, aur kahi kho si gayi. Ek khalipan jo sirf main samajh sakti thi.
Main (mann mein): Log kitna bhi mujhe sundar kahe, asal mein shayad main badsurat hu. Agar main thodi si aur sundar hoti, to shayad Aarav mujhe dekhta, meri tareef karta, aur kehta, “Maa, aap bahut sundar lag rahi ho.”
Tabhi mujhe yaad aaya, uss shor sharabe ke beech, jab sab has rahe the, Aarav ke chehre par koi hansi nahi thi. Main usse dekhti rahi thi, kahi kho si gayi thi.
Main (mann mein): Aarav ki hansi… woh mano kayi saalon se gayab hai. Pichhle kuchh saalon se woh aisa kyun ho gaya? Mera Aarav, mera pyara beta… uske hothon par woh muskan ab kyun nahi? Kya usse padhai ki tension hai? Kya business ki? Ya job ki? Woh to mujhe kuchh batata hi nahi.
Main Aarav ke khayalon mein doobi hui hi thi. Ki Tabhi mujhe ehsaas hua ki koi mujhe peeche se dekh raha hai. Maine aaine se dekha. Ankur bistar par leta hua mujhe ghoor raha tha.
Jab bhi woh mujhe aise dekhta tha, mujhe ulti si aati thi. Mera mann kiya ki main usse thappad maar du.
Main waha se uthi aur bathroom jane lagi. Tabhi Ankur bola.
Ankur: Kaha ja rahi ho?
Main: Tumhe usse kya?
Ankur: Accha, kapde change karne ja rahi ho? To yahi change kar lo, mere samne.
Main: Thappad khaoge kya?
Ankur: Arre jaanu, main to pati hu tumhara. Chalo, jaanu, kholo apne kapde.
Mujhe itna gussa aaya ki main chahti thi usse ek thappad maar hi du. Par maine apne gusse ko control kiya.
Main: Aur ek bhi gandi baat tumhare muh se nikli, to main abhi ke abhi maa ko call laga dungi aur unhe sab kuchh bata dungi.
Ankur meri baat sun kar dar gaya. Woh chup ho gaya. Main bathroom gayi, ghar wali saree pehen li. Main nighty wighty nahi pehenti thi, Ankur ki wajah se. Woh mujhe gandi nazar se dekhta tha. Is baat ko sochte hue hi mujhe ulti si aa rahi thi.
Fir Maine lipstick utari, aur night cream lagayi. To Ankur phir se bola, kutte kabhi sudharte hai kiya?
Ankur: Jaanvi, ek baat bolu?
Main: Maa ko phone lagau?
Yeh sunte hi Ankur chup ho gaya. Sach bataun, mujhe uus waqt bohat ghin aa rahi thi. Maine light off ki aur aaj us bistar par nahi soyi jaha Ankur soya tha. Main sofe par chadar odh kar so gayi.
Yu kahu Sone ki koshish ki, par neend kaha aane wala tha? Mere mann mein bas Aarav hi Aarav tha. Mujhe yaad aaya, kuchh din pehle main usse takrayi thi, kichen mein jab light chali Gaye thi. Uska purushali seena, uska pasine se bheega badan, uski woh khushboo… haaye....
mere pet mein gudgudi ho rahi thi. Uske khayalon mein doobi hui, aur muskurate huye main dhire dhire so gayi. Aaj maine bahut ro liya tha, thakawat bahut thi. Par dil mein ek chhoti si umeed bhi thi
ki ek din... Sayad ek din main aur Aarav…
