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Tujhe paakar maine khud ko paaya hai,
Teri har choti khushi me maine sukoon paaya hai.
Log kehte hain maa sabse zyada pyaar karti hai…
Haan, kyunki mera beta meri jaan hai.
Mera naam shayad itna important nahi… important hai toh bas woh insaan, jisne meri zindagi ko ek naya matlab diya—Aarush.
Aur Aarush… woh mere liye sirf mere beta nahi, mera sukoon hai.
Meri khamoshi ko samajhne wala, meri aankhon mein chhupi pareshani ko bina pooche mehsoos karne wala, aur meri chhoti-chhoti khushiyon ko apni khushi samajhne wala.
Hamare rishte ki khoobsurti shayad bade-bade promises mein nahi, balki un chhoti-chhoti baaton mein hai—ek doosre ki fikr, bina kahe samajh jaana, mushkil waqt mein ek-doosre ka haath thaame rehna, aur har din thoda aur kareeb aana.
Aarush meri zindagi ka woh hissa hai jise main sirf pyaar nahi karti… main uske saath apni poori zindagi jeena chahti hoon.
Waqt badlega, halaat badlenge, zindagi mein bahut kuch badal sakta hai…
lekin mere dil mein Aarush ke liye jo jagah hai, woh kabhi nahi badlegi.
Woh mera pyaar hai, mera humsafar hai, mera sukoon hai… aur meri kahani ka sabse khoobsurat hissa bhi.
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ye sirf ek kahani nahi hai… ye meri zindagi ka ek hissa hai.
Jo kuch main ab aap sabke saath share karne ja rahi hoon, woh mere liye sirf words nahi hain. Iske peeche meri feelings, meri memories, mere emotions aur meri zindagi ke woh pal hain, jinhe maine khud mehsoos kiya hai.
Meri life hamesha simple nahi rahi. Kuch moments aise bhi aaye, jinhone mujhe andar se badla, kuch rishte aise rahe jinhe samajhna mere liye bhi aasaan nahi tha, aur kuch feelings aisi thi jinhe words mein explain kar pana bahut mushkil hai.
Main koi professional writer nahi hoon.
Main bas apni zindagi ke kuch real moments aur experiences aapke saath share karna chahti hoon—bilkul waise hi jaise maine unhe jiya aur mehsoos kiya.
Ho sakta hai meri kahani ka har part aapko samajh aaye… aur ho sakta hai kuch parts aapko confuse karein. Lekin meri request sirf itni hai ki please ise respect ke saath padhiye.
Kyuki har insaan ki zindagi ke peeche ek aisi kahani hoti hai, jo duniya ko poori tarah kabhi dikhai nahi deti…
Aur ye meri kahani hai.
Meri life… meri memories… mere emotions… aur meri woh journey, jise main ab pehli baar aapke saath share kar rahi hoon.
To Aarush raat ko Delhi pahunch gaya tha, aur subah uth kar office bhi chala gaya tha. Par main abhi tak so rahi thi,Aarush ke saath kal sex thoda zyada hi ho gaya tha. Meri body abhi bhi uski yaad mein thi, thodi thakaan si ho rahi thi. Maa ne mujhe nahi jagaya tha.
Dekhte hi dekhte 1 week aise hi nikal gaya. Aarush har roz office jaata tha, time nikaal kar mujhse baat karta tha. Ghar ka kaam bhi lagbhag pura ho chuka tha—sab saaman achhe se usne laga diya tha, har cheez apni jagah par, jaise wo chahta tha ki jab main aaun toh mujhe koi pareshani na ho.
Dophar ka time tha. Aarush lunch karke just abhi free hua tha, toh usne mujhe call lagaya.
Call
Main: (phone utha kar, khushi se) "Hi baby!"
Aarush: "Hii, kya kar rahi ho?"
Main: (halki si shararat) "Tumhara intezaar. Bas yahi toh kaam hai ab mere paas."
Aarush: (hans kar) "Har pal bas mere hi intezaar karti rahogi?
Main: "Jab tak tum mujhe lene nahi aate, tab tak. Yeh sab chhodo, ye batao—lunch hua?"
Aarush: "Haan, just abhi. But ek baat hai—main aapke haath ka khana bahut miss kar raha hoon. Yahan ka khana utna achha nahi lagta."
Main: (dil mein khushi) "Achha?"
Aarush: "Haan.
Main: "Baby, ek baat karni thi."
Tabhi mujhe Aarush ke pichhe se kisi ki awaaz aayi—ek ladki ki, halki si chhed khani bhari.
Ladki: "Aarush, bhabhi ke saath baat ho rahi hai kya? Hamara namaste bolna!"
Main thoda chaunk gayi. Dil mein ek khatak si hui.
Main: (thoda conk ho kar) " Aaaaa... Aarush, kaun hai?"
Aarush: " Office friend hai. Colleague. Bas mazaak kar rahi hai."
Main: (thoda ruk kar) "Hmmm."
Aarush: "Achha, kya baat kar rahi thi aap?"
Main: "Main ye keh rahi thi ki mujhe bahar ghumne jaane ka mann kar raha hai."
Aarush: "Toh jao na, maine kab mana kiya?"
Main: (thoda naraaz) "Babyyy... main puch nahi rahi hoon, bata rahi hoon."
Thodi der baad Aarush ne call rakh di. Main maa ka intezaar karte hue baith gayi. Maa aane ke baad unke saath khana khaya, phir kuch kaam se hum dono bahar chale gaye.
Hum dono chalte hue ja rahe the, baatein karte-karte. Raaste mein pedon ki chhaon thi, aur halki dhup thi jo shaam ki taraf jhuk rahi thi.
Maa: "Janvi, Aarush ne call kiya tha ki nahi?"
Main: "Haan Maa, dophar ko kiya tha."
Maa: "Kaisa chal raha hai uska? Theek toh hai na?
Main: (halki muskaan) "Wo bilkul theek hai Maa. Bas kehta hai mann nahi lagta akele. Ghar ka saara kaam kar liya hai, office mein bhi set ho raha hai."
Maa: "Ab wo bhi kya karega? Tune hi usse aadat laga di hai—kisi chhote bachche ki tarah. Kabhi apne se door hi nahi kiya toh ab wo akela kahan se reh lega?"
Main: "Wo abhi bhi mera chhotasa Aarush hi hai, Maa. Chahe wo kitna bhi bada ho gaya ho, mere liye wo wahi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, narmi se) "Har maa ke liye uske bachche chhote hi lagte hain. Jaise tujhe hi dekh—mere liye tu abhi bhi wo chhoti si Janvi hai jo mere paas aakar roti thi. Koi badal nahi sakta ye."
Kuch der baad hum wahan pahunch gaye. Kaam ye tha ki maine jo nayi saadiyaan li thi, unke kuch blouse silane the aur saadiyon mein embroidery bhi karwani thi. Sab karke hum ghar wapas aa gaye. Phir wahi ghar ka kaam, raat ka khana, TV serial dekhna, baby se baat karna, sone se pahle uske saath chatting karna, thoda rona uski yaad mein, phir so jaana.
2-3 din aise hi normally bit gaye. Ab bas 3 din hi baaki the—phir main Aarush ke paas chali jaungi. Ab aur intezaar nahi ho raha tha. Dil mein ek alag si bechaini thi, jaise koi mehmaan aane wala ho jiska main saalon se intezaar kar rahi hoon.
Aaj school mein chhuti hone ki wajah se Maa ghar par hi thi. Wo kuch kitchen mein nayi dish bana rahi thin. Main saare kaam nipta kar hall mein TV dekh rahi thi. Kuch samay baad mere phone par call aaya—Anjali ka tha.
Waise maine Anjali ko pehle hi sab bata diya tha—ki hum ye city chhod kar jaa rahe hain, ki Aarush ne Delhi mein job le li hai, aur ki main bhi wahi shift ho rahi hoon.
Anjali: "Main toh theek hoon. Tu bata, tu kaisi hai? Itne din baad baat kar rahe hain."
Main: "Main bhi badhiya hoon.aaj kese yaad aai
Anjali: (halki shikayat) "Ab kya karein? Tujhe toh tere bete ke siva kuch dikhta hi nahi. Toh humein bhi dekhna padega na tumhe, warna toh tu humein bhool hi jayegi."
Main: "Oyyyy! Ab tu toh aise mat bol. Tu toh jaanti hai na main kaisi hoon."
Anjali: (hans kar) " Hahhh... ye sab chhodo. Darsal baat ye hai ki hum yahan rishtedaar ki shaadi mein aaye the. Ab wapas jaate hue tumhare gaon ke paas se guzar rahe hain, toh socha tumse mil lun. Badi yaad aa rahi hai."
Fir main phone rakh kar Maa ke paas chali gayi. Khushi se mera chehra khil utha tha.
Main: (tezi se) "Maa! Anjali aa rahi hai milne! Uske husband aur bachche bhi saath hain!"
Maa: (hairan) "Aaj achanak? Kya baat hui?"
Main: "Wo Maa, Anjali kisi rishtedar ki shaadi mein aayi thi, toh bol rahi thi ki mil kar jaayegi. Wapas jaate waqt "
Maa: (muskurate hue) "Ye achha kiya usne. Fir main unke liye kuch khaana bhi bana deti hoon. Mehmaanon ke liye achha sa."
Main: "Theek hai Maa, main bhi madad kar deti hoon. Kya bana rahi ho?"
Maa: "Samosa, pakode, aur kuch mithai bhi. "
Fir hum dono milkar khana banane lage. Maa ne aata gundha, main ne aloo mash kiye.
Rasoi mein garam tel ki khushboo thi, aur baatein chal rahi thin—Anjali ki shadi, uske bachche, aur purani yaadein. Do ghante ka intezaar bhi mujhe teen ghante jaisa laga. Baar-baar khidki se bahar dekhti, gaadi ki awaaz sunte hi dil uchhal jaata.
Maa ne samose aur pakode bana liye the, chai ki taiyari bhi ho chuki thi.
Aakhir gaadi aangan mein aakar ruki. Main daudkar bahar gayi.
Anjali: (gaadi se utarte hi, mujhe dekhte hi) "Janvi!"
Main: (baahon mein bharte hue) "Anjali!"
Hum dono ek dusre se gale mil gaye—kaafi der tak, jaise itne dinon ki doori ek pal mein mit gayi ho. Anjali ke aansu bhi aa gaye, mere bhi. Peeche se Anjali ka pati gaadi se utra,
Anjali ka pati: "Namaste Janvi ji."
Main: "Namaste! Aap log aaye, bahut achha laga. Kab se wait kar rahi thi."
Gaadi ke pichhe se do chhote bachche bhi utre—dono neend mein thoda aankhen mal rahe the, safar ki thakaan se.
Anjali: (bachchon ki taraf dekhte hue) "Dekh bachche kitne thak gaye hain."
Jaise hi bachchon ne mujhe dekha, wo daudkar mere paas aa gaye. Chhoti si bachi ne mera haath pakad liya, aur bade ne meri sari ko dekha.
Main: (bachchi ko god mein utha kar) "Arre are, kitni thak gayi hai? Aunty ke paas aao."
Fir saare andar aaye, hall mein baith gaye. Maa ne chai-nashta laaya, bachchon ke liye biscuit aur juice bhi.
Maa: "Anjali beta, kaisi ho? Itne din baad dekha."
Main: (halki muskaan, thodi udaasi ke saath) "Haan, Delhi mein hai abhi. Naukri shuru ki hai. Ek mahina hone wala hai. Ab bas 3 din baaki hain, phir main bhi chali jaungi uske paas."
Anjali: (mera haath dabate hue) "Isiliye tu apni maa ke paas hai? Akela nahi reh paayi hogi wahan?"
Main: (gehri saans lete hue) "Haan, wahi baat hai. Bahut yaad aati hai uski. Par kya karein, career ke liye zaroori tha. Maa bhi nahi chhod paayi."
Anjali: "Samajh sakti hoon. Himmat rakh. Sab thik ho jayega. "
Janvi: "Tu bata, sab kuch kaise chal raha hai?
Anjali: (muskura kar) "Achha chal raha hai, Bhagwan ki kripa se. Bachche badhe ho rahe hain, ghar-parivaar sab theek hai."
Baatein karte-karte bachche mere paas aakar baith gaye. Chhoti ne mera haath pakad liya aur bada mere paas aakar khada ho gaya.
Main: (muskurate hue, uske baalon mein haath pherte hue) "Nahi beta, khilona toh nahi hai. Par chalo, main tumhe kahani sunaati hoon. Kaisi rahegi?"
Bachcha: (khushi se) "Haan! Kahani!"
Maine chhoti ko god mein bithaya, aur ek chhoti si kahani sunaayi—raja-rani aur ek magar ki kahani. Dusra bachcha bhi paas aakar baith gaya, dono dhyan se sun rahe the.
Maa: (dekh kar muskurate hue) "Janvi ko bachchon se bahut lagav hai."
Anjali:"Haan, ye toh hamesha se hi aisi hai. Iski god mein bachcha aate hi sukoon aa jaata hai."
Fir thodi der baad Maa ne sabke liye khaana laga diya—aagrah karke sabko khilaya.
Maa: "Aaram se khao, itni door se aaye ho, bhookhe kaise ja sakte ho? "
Anjali ka pati: (khana khaate hue,) "Aunty, bahut zabardast khaana hai. Bilkul ghar jaisa lag raha hai. Kya baat hai, aapke haath mein jaadu hai."
Anjali: (hasti hui) "Haan Aunty, same Janvi ke haath jaisa taste hai."
Khaana khaate-khaate bahut saari baatein hui—Anjali ke bachchon ki school ki baatein, unki padhai, Aarush ke baare mein, uski job ke baare mein.
Khana hone ke baad Anjali ka pati bachchon ko lekar bahar garden mein chala gaya—pedon ke neeche thoda ghoomne. Ghar ke andar Maa, Anjali aur main baith gayi, dheemi awaaz mein baatein karte hue.
Anjali: "Janvi... Pratap ki koi khabar? "
Main: "Uski khabar lekar main kya karungi, Anjali? Wo toh chala gaya meri life se.
Anjali: "Nahi, mera matlab hai ki kahin usne call karne ki koshish kuch ki? Tujhe pareshan toh nahi kar raha?"
Maa: (tezi se) "Nahi, aur agar kiya bhi toh main use chhodungi nahi. Kitni takleef di usne meri bachchi ko."
Meri aankhein bhar aayi. Fir ek baar sab yaad aane laga—woh raatein, woh jhagde, wo tanhai. Maine saadi ke pallu mein muh chhupa kar rone lagi. Maa aur Anjali mere paas aakar mujhe shant karne lagi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Main kese shant ho jaun Anju? Us insaan ne sab kuch barbaad kar diya mera! Kya bigada tha maine uska? Yahi na ki usse pyaar kar baithi? Usne toh mera trust, meri izzat, mera sab kuch chheen liya."
Maa: (mera haath sahlate hue) "Bas... bas Janvi, ro mat. Ab wo nahi hai zindagi mein. Tu ab nayi zindagi jee rahi hai. Aage dekh."
Anjali: "Haan Janvi, Ab tu apni nayi zindagi par dhyan de."
Fir kuch der baad maa kitchen mein chali gayi. Anjali mere aur kareeb aa kar baith gayi.
Anjali: "Janvi, tu Aarush ke saath khush hai na? "
Main: (ankhon mein aansu, lekin muskaan) "Anju, tujhe pata hai na wo kaisa hai? Wo mujhe koi takleef nahi hone deta. Phool ki tarah khayal rakhata hai mera. Uske bina toh main kuch nahi."
Anjali: "Kash tera pati bhi Aarush ki tarah hota. Teri zindagi kabhi aisi na hoti."
Main mann hi mann soch rahi thi—hai wo mera pati. Ab wo hai. Lekin ye main Anjali ko nahi bata sakti.
Maine Anjali ko gale lagaya, aur phir ek baar fut-fut kar rone lagi.
Main: (uske kandhe par sar rakh kar) "Bahut miss kar rahi hoon Anjali usse. 1 mahina dur rahi hoon usse, aur ab reha nahi jata usse door. Dil bahut bechain ho gaya hai.
Main: (Anjali se dur hokar apne aansu ponchte hue) "Agar Aarush nahi hota toh mera kya hota, Anju? Main toh mar hi jaati. Usi ne mujhe jeevan diya, phir se."
Anjali: (dat kar) "Aise nahi bolte. Jo hua, achhe ke liye hua. Ab tu khush hai na? To bas
Main: "Mera Aarush hai isliye bas jinda hoon. Uske bina toh main kahin ki nahi."
Fir Maa bhi aa gayi. Ab waqt ho chuka tha—Anjali ne ghadi dekhi.
Anjali: (uth kar, thoda udaas) "Janvi, ab humein nikalna hoga. Raat hone se pehle ghar pahunch na hai, bachchon ke liye bhi theek rahega."
Main: "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh aayi thi tu. Baat karte-karte waqt ka pata nahi chala."
Anjali: "Kya karoon, safar lamba hai. Par promise karti hoon—jaldi phir milenge. Ya tu aa jaana hamare ghar."
Main: (muskura kar) "Zaroor aaungi. Aarush ko lekar. Tab tak apna khayal rakh."
Sab bahar aaye, gaadi tak chhodne. Bachchon ne mujhe gale lagaya—chhote se haathon se.
Gaadi dheere-dheere aage badhi—dhool udati sadak par. Main wahin khadi rahi, jab tak gaadi mod par ghoom kar aankhon se ojhal nahi ho gayi.Anjali se milkar khush bhi thi, aur uske bhare-poore parivaar ko dekh kar Aarush ki yaad bhi aur zyada aa rahi thi.
Fir hum dono ghar ke andar aa gaye. Maa TV dekhne baith gayi, aur main phone nikaal kar Aarush ko call karne lagi—ye sochte hue ki ab tak toh office se aa gaya hoga.
Ek baar call kiya, toh usne uthaya nahi. Maine firse kiya, toh bhi uthaya nahi.
Main: (apne aap se, thoda naraaz) "Oohhfoooo! Ye ladka bhi na... aaj kal phone uthana bhool gaya hai."
Maa: (TV se nazar hata kar) "Kya hua Janvi? Kya baat hai?"
Main: "Maa, Aarush call nahi utha raha. Pata nahi kya kar raha hai."
Maa: "Ghar aata hoga, aaega toh karega. Tu chinta mat kar.
Main: "Hmm..."
Kuch der tak hum dono TV dekhte rahe, par mera mann hai ki kahin lag hi nahi raha tha. Main wahi sofe par pichhe sar rakh kar aankhen band kar ke baith gayi.
Aankhen band hote hi mujhe wo pal yaad aane lage jo kuch din pahle maine Aarush ke saath hotel mein bitaye the. Kitna hasin tha sab kuch. Mera Aarush mere paas tha, meri baahon mein. Uski baatein, uski hansi, uske badan ka sparsh—mujhe sab yaad aane laga.
Aankhon se ek boond aansu nikal kar niche gir gaya.
Soch rahi thi— kab aayega? Kab main uske saath rahungi? Kab uski baahon mein chain ki neend soo paungi? Soch soch kar dil aur bechain ho raha tha.
Aankhein band thi meri. Saamne TV chal raha hai—Maa kisi purane serial mein khoyi hui hain, jisme koi ro raha hai kisi rishte ke toot jaane par. Aur main sochti hoon, kitna ajeeb hai na—TV ke andar ka dukh bhi kabhi-kabhi asli dukh se zyada sachcha lagta hai. Awaaz bahut halki hai, bas ek dhundhla sa shor, jo mujh tak pahunchta toh hai, par andar tak nahi utarta. Kyunki andar se main kahin aur hoon.
Dimaag ek film ki tarah chal raha hai—bina mere bulaye. Sabse pehle wo din yaad aata hai jab main dulhan bani thi—laal jode mein, haathon mein mehendi, aankhon mein sapne. Us waqt lagta tha zindagi bas yahin se shuru hoti hai—asli khushi, asli ghar, asli apna koi. Kitni bholi thi main, ya shayad kitni umeed se bhari.
Phir yaadein dheere-dheere rang badalne lagti hain. Wo shuruaati saal jab hum dono raat ko chhat par baith kar baatein karte the, chhoti-chhoti cheezon par hansi aati thi—kisi film ka dialogue, kisi rishtedar ka kissa. Us waqt lagta tha ye hansi kabhi khatam nahi hogi.
Par khatam ho gayi.
Kab shuru hui thi doori, mujhe theek se yaad bhi nahi. Bas itna yaad hai ki ek din maine notice kiya ki wo mujhse baat karte waqt phone dekhta rehta hai. Phir wo raatein jab main intezaar karti reh jaati thi—khana table par thanda hota rehta, aur main sofe par baithi rehti, bilkul aise hi jaise abhi baithi hoon—aankhein khuli par kuch dekh nahi rahi hoti thi.
Maine khud ko kitni baar samjhaya—"sab theek ho jayega." Kitna bada jhooth tha ye, jo maine sabse zyada khud se bola.
Phir wo din aaya jab sab saaf ho gaya. Kisi aur ladki ka naam, koi aur muskaan jo shayad kabhi meri hua karti thi. Ajeeb baat hai—jab sach saamne aaya, toh na gussa aaya, na chillayi main, na roi. Bas ek khaalipan sa fail gaya seene mein—jaise koi kamra ho jise achanak khaali kar diya gaya ho, saara saaman ek raat mein gayab.
Log kehte hain divorce ke baad zindagi ruk jaati hai. Par sach ye hai ki meri zindagi ne mujhe rukne hi nahi diya—kyunki ek haath tha jo mera intezaar kar raha tha.
Aarush....
Uska naam zehen mein aate hi kuch andar se pighalta hai. Jab main sabse zyada toot rahi thi, tab wahi ek chehra tha jo mujhe seedha khada rakhta tha. Yaad hai mujhe, jab wo chhota sa tha, meri ungli pakad kar chalna seekhta tha—girta tha, phir uthta tha, aur mujhe dekh kar hansta tha jaise keh raha ho "dekha Maa, main theek hoon."
Aaj wahi ladka bada ho gaya hai. Itna bada ki ab wahi mujhe sambhalta hai. Jab maine usse divorce ke baare mein bataya tha, uski aankhon mein gussa nahi tha, dukh bhi nahi—bas ek sthirta thi, jaise wo pehle se jaanta ho ki usse mujhe sambhalna hai. Usne bas mera haath pakda tha aur kaha tha—"Maa, ab main hoon na."
Kitni simple si baat thi, par us waqt lagi jaise kisi ne meri toot chuki duniya wapas jod di ho.
Wo mujhse pyaar karta hai—aisa pyaar jisme koi shart nahi, koi maang nahi. Har roz call karta hai, chhoti-chhoti baatein poochta hai—"khana khaya? dawai li? theek se so rahi ho na?" Jaise koi beta nahi, balki koi mera rakhwala ho, jo mujhe phool ki tarah sambhalta hai, dhyan se, pyaar se, jaise main koi keemti cheez hoon jise tootane nahi deta .
Kabhi-kabhi sochti hoon—jo pyaar mujhe ek rishte mein khojna tha aur nahi mila, wo saara pyaar mujhe mere bete ne, bina maange, khud-ba-khud de diya.
Kuch din baad wo mujhe lene aayega. Sochte hi honthon par ek halki si muskaan aa jaati hai, jo maine khud bhi notice nahi ki kab aa gayi.
Maa abhi bhi TV dekh rahi hain—unhe shayad pata bhi nahi ki main yahan baithi hoon par kahin aur hoon. Main unki taraf dekhti hoon—unke chehre par bhi waqt ki lakeerein hain, unhone bhi apni zindagi mein na jaane kitne tootne-jodne dekhe honge. Shayad isiliye wo kuch poochti nahi, bas apni jagah baithi rehti hain—jaise unki khamoshi hi unka saath dene ka tareeqa ho.
Aankhein khol kar main ek lambi saans leti hoon. Bahar shaam dhalne lagi hai, khidki se halki narangi roshni kamre mein aa rahi hai. Shayad zindagi ne mujhse sab kuch nahi cheena. Kuch cheen kar, usne mujhe wo de diya jo shayad sabse zyada zaroori tha—ek beta jo mujhse utna hi pyaar karta hai, jitna main kabhi kisi se ummeed kar sakti thi.
Aur abhi, is pal, bas itna kaafi hai.
Sofe par baithi apni hi soch mein, main kab so gayi pata hi nahi chala. Mobile mere haath se fisal kar sofe par gir gaya. Raat ke 8 baj chuke the. Aarush ka phone aa kar gaya tha—Maa ne usse baat ki thi, aur main so rahi thi toh unhone mujhe nahi jagaya.
Phir kuch der baad kukur ki sieti se meri neend toot gayi. Ghadi ki taraf dekha toh 9 baj rahe the. Maine fatafat phone uthaya aur Aarush ko call laga di.
Call
Main: (neend se uthti hui, or baat karte huwe bedroom main chali gai ) "Hello baby?"
Aarush: "Mom, aap uth gayi?"
Main: "Tumhe kaise pata ki main so rahi thi?"
Aarush: "Kuch der pehle maine call kiya tha toh Nani se baat ho gayi thi. Unhone bataya ki aap so rahi hain. Toh maine socha, aapko jagana nahi chaahiye."
Main: "Hmm... ye batao, jab main tumhe call kar rahi thi, kyun nahi utha rahe the?"
Aarush: "Phone silent par tha, Mom. Aur main bas ghar hi aa raha tha. Car mein tha, toh sunai nahi diya."
Main: "Hmm... pata hai aaj Anjali aayi thi—apne family ke saat."
Main: "Main toh thik hi hoon baby. Bas tumhari bahut yaad aa rahi hai. "
Aarush: "Pata hai.... Mom main badmein baat karun? Mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kuch files dekhni hain."
Main: "Theek hai. Par haan, khana kha lena time par."
Aarush: "Haan. Love you, Mom. Goodnight."
Main: "Love you too, Aarush. Bye."
Phone cut karte hi main phone apne seene se laga kar let gayi. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi—uski awaaz thodi badli lag rahi thi. Kya ho sakta hai ? uski aawaj to pahle aisi nahi thi....
Ab dekhte hi dekhte din nikal gaye,Do din baad Aarush wapas aane wala tha, aur is baat se dil mein ajeeb si khushi thi. Par pichle do dinon se kuch ajeeb sa lag raha tha—Aarush ki calls chhoti ho gayi thin, messages bhi kam aa rahe the, aur jab baat hoti bhi thi, uski awaaz mein pehle jaisi wo garmi, wo excitement nahi thi. Jaise koi door ho raha ho, jaise koi wall ban rahi ho mere aur uske beech.
Raat ke das baje maine call kiya. Dil dhadak raha tha, na jaane kyun.
Main: "Baby, kaisa raha aaj din?"
Aarush: (halki, thakan bhari awaaz mein, jaise kuch chhupa raha ho) "Theek tha, Mom... bas thoda busy raha. Kaam bahut tha."
Main: "Khaana khaya? Time se?"
Aarush: "Haan khaya... Mom suno na, mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kal baat karte hain, okay?"
Main: (thoda hairan ho gai ) "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh baat shuru hi hui thi. Tumhari awaaz kuch ajeeb lag rahi hai."
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, sach mein bahut kaam hai. Aur thoda tired bhi hoon. Good night."
Phone kat gaya, aur main wahin baithi rah gayi—phone haath mein liye, uski awaaz mein jo ajeeb sa tuta-tuta pan tha wo dimaag mein ghoomta raha. Kya baat hai? Kyun aisa kar raha hai? Maine socha, shayad main hi zyada soch rahi hoon. Par dil nahi maan raha tha.
Agli raat toh aur bhi ajeeb rahi. Maine teen baar call kiya—do baar toh phone hi nahi utha. Teesri baar uthaya toh bhi awaaz mein wahi thakan, wahi jaldi khatam karne ki koshish.
Main: (thoda gussa aur pareshan) "Aarush, kya baat hai? Do din se tum kuch chhupa rahe ho mujhse.
Aarush: "Kuch nahi chhupa raha Mom, bas office mein thoda extra pressure hai. New project hai, isliye thak jaata hoon."
Main: "Par tumhari awaaz mein kuch aur hi lag raha hai. Sach batao, sab theek hai na? Tum mujhse jhooth toh nahi bol rahe?"
Aarush: "Haan Mom, sab theek hai. Aap fikar mat karo."
Main: "Tum pagal ho gaye ho! 'Fikar mat karo'? Fikar kaise na karoon? Tum roz raat ko itni der tak baat karte the, ab do minute mein hi call kaatne lagte ho. Kuch toh hai jo tum bata nahi rahe. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe pata hona chahiye.
Aarush: "Mom... bas thoda tired hoon. Itni si baat hai. Kal baat karte hain."
Main: (thoda ruk kar, dard se) "Theek hai... good night."
Maine phone rakh diya, par mann bilkul shaant nahi tha. Andar hi andar ek ajeeb sa gussa aur uljhan mehsoos ho rahi thi. Us raat neend nahi aayi. Baar-baar wahi khayal aata raha—kya baat hai jo Aarush chhupa raha hai? Kahin office mein koi problem toh nahi? Ya... koi aur wajah hai?
Aurat ka dil hai, thoda shak toh aa hi jaata hai. Kahin aisa toh nahi ki wahan koi naya dost ban gai ho, jisse baat karne mein zyada time nikal jaata ho, aur mujhse baat karne ka mann hi na kare? Ye khayal aate hi khud par gussa aaya—Janvi, aisa kaise soch sakti ho tum Aarush ke baare mein? Lekin dil toh dil hai, usko kaun samjhaaye?
Mujhe kuch bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun. Bahut tension aur sawaalon ne mujhe gher liya tha. Raat bhar kab tak aise hi jagti rahi, pata nahi chala. Aankhen khuli thin, par sapne Aarush ke hi the.
Subah main uth gayi. Maa ke saath chai-nashta bana liya, uske baad Maa ke saath baith gayi. Nashte ki table pe Maa ne mera udaas chehra dekha.
Maa: "Kya hua Janvi? Chehra kyun latka hua hai? Kal se kuch khaas nahi bol rahi."
Main: "Kuch nahi Maa... bas Aarush do dinon se ajeeb behave kar raha hai. Thik se baat nahi karta, jaldi phone kaat deta hai. Jaise kuch chhupa raha ho."
Maa: "Kaam ka pressure hoga beta, itna sochne ki kya zaroorat? Naye city mein naye kaam mein time lagta hai."
Main: "Maa, mujhe lagta hai wo kuch chhupa raha hai mujhse. Pehle toh kabhi aisa nahi karta tha.
Maa: (mera haath pakad kar) "Janvi, aisa kuch nahi hoga. Bas tu uske baare mein zyada sochti hai na, isliye tere mann mein aise vichar aate hain. Aur agar wo kuch nahi bata raha, toh zaroor koi wajah hogi. Bina jaane shak karna theek nahi."
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Par Maa, dil hi nahi maanta. Aise lagta hai jaise kuch chhupaya ja raha hai mujhse. Aur main kuch kar nahi sakti."
Maa: "Sabr rakh beta, do hi din baaki hain na? Khud aake bata dega jo bhi baat hai. Tab tak tu apna khayal rakh."
Maa se baat karte-karte thoda nashta kar liya—waise toh kuch bhi khane-pine ka mann nahi kar raha tha. Bas Aarush ke hi khayal aa rahe the. Main apne aap ko kaamon mein uljhaaye rakhti, taaki na sochu. Par har cheez uski yaad dilaati thi.
Us shaam maine Aarush ko phir se call kiya. Aur is baar Aarush ki awaaz aur bhi kamzor lagi—jaise thakan se zyada, kuch aur bhi ho. Jaise wo bolna nahi chahta, par bol raha hai. Mujhe ab aur sehan nahi hua, aur bahut gussa bhi aane laga—ki ye ladka mujhse kya chhupa raha hai?
Uske call uthate hi main use daantna shuru kar di.
Call
Main: (tez awaaz mein, gussa aur dard dono) "Aarush, ab bas! Sach batao kya baat hai. Main pareshan ho rahi hoon. Do din se mujhe neend nahi aa rahi."
Aarush: "Mom, kuch nahi hai, please... aap shant ho jao."
Main: (awaaz mein gussa aur dard dono, thodi tez rote huwe ) "Nahi Aarush, ye theek nahi hai. Do din se tum mujhse seedhe munh baat nahi kar rahe, jaldi phone kaat dete ho, awaaz mein wo pehli jaisi baat nahi hai. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe haq hai jaanne ka ki tumhare saath kya ho raha hai. Mujhe ab aur pareshan mat karo! "
Ye keh kar main fut-fut kar rone lagi—nahi ho raha tha ab mujhse sehan kuch bhi. Ek toh itni door hai ki main ja bhi nahi sakti uske paas, warna ek khich kar thappad laga deti toh bolta. Par main yahan hoon, aur wo wahan, aur ye doori mujhe maar rahi hai.
Aarush chup rehta hai kuch pal. Sirf uski saans sunai de rahi thi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Kya baat hai Aarush? Kya main itni kamzor lagti hoon tumhe ki tum mujhse sach nahi bata sakte? Ya phir koi aur wajah hai jisse tum baat nahi karna chahte mujhse?"
Ye kehte hue mera gala bhar aaya, aankhon mein aansu aa gaye—mixed feelings the, gussa bhi, dukh bhi, aur ye dar bhi ki kahin sach mein kuch aisa na ho jo humare rishton ko badal de.
Aarush: (aakhir mein, thaki aur bhari awaaz mein wo bolne lga ) "Mom... sach batata hoon, bas please pareshan mat hona. Aur rona toh bilkul nahi."
Main: (dil zor se dhadakne laga, awaaz kaanp rahi thi) "Baby, ab batao na please... main aur nahi sehan kar sakti."
Aarush: (gehri saans lete hue) "Mujhe halka bukhaar hai, do din se. Kaam ka pressure bhi hai, isliye thakan zyada mehsoos ho rahi hai. Maine socha aapko nahi bataunga, kyunki agar bataata toh aap aur pareshan ho jaati. Aur aapke paas aana mumkin nahi tha mere liye, toh sirf aapko tension dena theek nahi laga. Maine socha chhupa kar rakhta hoon, theek ho jaunga."
Ye sunte hi meri aankhon se aansu bahne lage—gussa aur pyaar dono ek saath umad aaye.
Main: (rote hue) "Aarush! Tu... tumne mujhe kyun nahi bataya? Main tumhari maa hoon na, mujhe jaanne ka haq hai jab tum bimaar ho, tab bhi! Isse zyada bura kya lagega mujhe ki tum mujhse aisi baatein chhupao?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom. Maine socha aapki fikr kam karne ke liye chhupa raha, par ulta aapko aur pareshan kar diya."
Main: (aansu ponchte hue) "Haan kiya! Do din se main sochti rahi ki pata nahi kya baat hai, mann mein tarah-tarah ke khayal aa rahe the..." (ruk gayi, thoda sharminda hokar)
Aarush: "Kaise khayal?"
Main: (halki awaaz mein, sharminda hote hue) "Kuch nahi... bas... dar lag raha tha kahin kuch aur baat toh nahi. Kahin tum mujhse dur toh nahi ho rahe."
Aarush: "Mom, aisa kabhi mat sochna. Mere dil mein sirf aap ho, aur hamesha rahogi. Bas aapki fikr mein galti kar baitha, ye baat chhupa ke. Main aapko kabhi chhod nahi sakta."
Main: (dat kar, par pyaar se) "Aainda kabhi aisa mat karna Aarush. Chahe kitni bhi chhoti baat ho, mujhe batana. Hum saath hain na, toh dukh-sukh dono share karna chahiye, sirf khushiyan nahi. Hamne is baare mein pahle bhi baat ki thi na, tum bhool gaye?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, aainda kabhi nahi chhupaunga kuch. Promise."
Main: (thoda shaant hokar) "Hmm... ab batao, dawai li? Bukhaar kitna hai abhi?"
Aarush: "Li hai, ab thoda kam hai. Do din mein theek ho jaunga, aap chinta mat karo.
Main: "Kaise na karoon chinta? Tum wahan akele ho, koi dekhne wala bhi nahi... kya karoge agar bukhaar badh gaya to?"
Aarush: (halka sa haskar) "Main theek hoon Mom. Bas do din aur, phir toh aap hongi hi na mere paas—mera khayal rakhne ke liye."
Mera gussa dheere-dheere pighalne laga, par dil mein ek sukoon bhi tha—ki sach jaanke, chahe wo bimaar hone ki hi khabar kyun na ho, kam se kam uljhan toh khatam ho gayi thi. Ab main jaanti hoon ki wo mujhse door nahi ho raha, bas bimaar hai.
Main: "Achha theek hai... par ab se roz batana kaisa mehsoos kar rahe ho. Koi baat chhupaoge nahi. Samjhe?"
Aarush: "Nahi chhupaunga. Sorry phir se, aapko pareshan kiya isliye."
Main: (thoda hans kar) "Chalo maaf kiya, is baar ke liye. Par agli baar aisi galti hui na, toh main khud aake tumhari khabar loongi! Samjhe tum?"
Aarush halka sa hasa—uski awaaz mein pehli baar us din thodi rahat mehsoos hui.
Aarush: "Achha baba, promise karta hoon aisi koi galti nahi hogi. Ab aap shant ho jao."
Main: "Hmm... ab so jao, aaram karo. Kal phir baat karenge."
Aarush: "Theek hai. Good night. Love you, Mom."
Main: "Love you too. Jaldi theek ho jao, do din baad aana hai na."
Phone rakhte hi maine ek gehri saans li—jo do dinon ka bojh seene pe tha, wo halka ho gaya tha. Par saath hi ek naya seekh bhi mila tha—
pyaar mein chhupana chahe kitni bhi achhi niyat se ho, dard hi deta hai.
Sach, chahe kaisa bhi ho,
sunna aasan hota hai jhoothi khaamoshi se.
Call rakh kar main Maa ke paas chali gayi. Maa khane ke liye plates laga rahi thin. Fir hum dono khana khane baith gaye.
Ye sunte hi Maa ne apne haath mein se nivala neeche rakh diya—wo achanak thodi ghabra gayin.
Maa: "Are Bap re! Kya hua usse?
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Bukhaar hai, 2-3 din se.
Maa: (thoda ruk kar) "2-3 din se? Achha... ab samjhi ki wo tujhse baat kyun nahi kar raha tha. Apni bimari chhupa raha tha."
Meri aankh se aansu aa gaye. Maine saadi ke pallu se apne aansu ponchne ki koshish ki, par wo rukte nahi the.
Main: "Dekha na Maa Aapne kaisa karta hai wo. Mujhase chhupa kar rakhta hai taaki main pareshan na ho. Lekin wo nahi jaanta ki uska ye chhupana mujhe aur zyada pareshan kar deta hai."
Maa: "Hmm... ab kaisa hai wo? ruk...pehle main zara usse baat karun. Mujhe khana nahi khaya jayega."
Main: (Maa ko rok kar) "Nahi Maa, aap ab subah hi baat kar lena usse. Maine use dawai lekar sone ke liye bol diya hai. Ab wo aaram kar raha hoga."
Maa: "Theek toh hai na wo? Bukhaar kitna hai?"
Main: "Hmm, ab thoda bukhaar utar gaya hai. Usne kaha kal tak theek ho jayega."
Maa: "Mujhe na is ladke ka kuch samajh hi nahi aata.
Main: (halki muskaan) "Hai na... wo aisa hi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, thoda dat kar) "Aur tu bhi kuch kam nahi hai. Dono ek jaise ho—ek doosre ki fikr mein pagal."
Ye keh kar Maa thodi hansi, aur unke saath main bhi thodi hansne lagi. Halka sa mahaul halka ho gaya.
Fir khana kha kar saare kaam nipta kar hum sone chale gaye. Bedroom mein jaate hi maine light off kar di aur mobile mein Aarush ki photo nikali. Use dekhte hue bed par let gayi—zoom kar-kar kar uski aankhon mein dekhne lagi, jaise us image ko apne seene mein utaar lena chahti hoon.
Phone ko apne seene se laga kar, aankhen band kar ke, pure dil se Aarush ko pukarne lagi—kash, kash mera Aarush mere dil ki baat is waqt sun leta. Par tabhi maine mehsoos kiya ki jaise Aarush mere side mein hi leta hai. Maine aankhen band kiye hue uski taraf palat gayi.
Main: (dheemi, bhaari awaaz mein) "Baby... kya tum sach mein mere paas ho?"
Aarush: (sapne mein, jaise uski awaaz) "Haan Jaan, tum bulati ho toh aaunga hi na. Main kahan ja sakta hoon tumse door?"
Main: "To kya khud pareshan hote rahoge? Main tumhari maa hoon,
Aarush: "Khud pareshan hona chalega mujhe. Par tum pareshan ho—ye nahi chalega. Tum meri Jaan ho, meri zindagi ho. Tumhare bina main kya?"
Main: (rote hue) "Babyyy... "
Aarush: "Kya tum ab bhi rogi? Tum apna rona kab band karogi, Janvi?"
Main: "Jab tum hamesha mere paas rahoge. Jab mujhe kabhi akela nahi chhodoge."
Aarush: "Achha..."
Main: "Hmm..."
Ab ye sab baatein aur Aarush ka ye ehsaas, ye sab mujhe neend mein feel ho raha tha. Main sapno mein chali gayi thi—ek aisa sapna jo mujhe sach lag raha tha.
Maine mehsoos kiya ki Aarush mere aur paas aaya—bilkul paas. Meri kamr mein haath daal kar usne mujhe apni taraf kheench liya. Mere honthon ko chumne laga—pyaar se, dheere-dheere, jaise main koi naazuk cheez hoon.
Main neend mein wo sab feel karne lagi—neend mein uske saath baatein karte hue moan karne lagi. Bed par chatpatane lagi, jaise uska sparsh mere body ko chhu raha ho.
Aarush ne dhire se meri nighty ko upar utthaya—nighty sarkte hue meri kamar tak aa gayi. Ab main bed par neeche se nangi thi, bas ek chhoti si panty ne meri chut ko chhupa ke rakha tha, jo ab dhire-dhire wet hone lagi thi. Aarush ne nighty ke andar haath daal kar mere boobs pakad liye aur unhe dabane laga.
Main: (neend mein karahate hue) "Ahhhhhhh... baby, mat karo na aisa... ammmm... ahhhhhhh..."
Usne mere boobs ko apne muh mein bhar liya aur chusne laga, haathon se dabane laga.
Main bas bed par aadhi nangi padi rahi aur neend mein ye sab feel karne lagi. Mere haath boobs par the—main khud hi boobs daba rahi thi. Lekin aise feel ho raha tha jaise Aarush hi kar raha ho sab. Jaise uska haath mera haath ho gaya ho.
Phir maine mehsoos kiya ki uska ek haath neeche jane laga—mere pet ko chhookar dhire se meri panty tak pahunch gaya.
Main: (neend mein, hichki ke saath) "Ammmm... ahhhhhh... babyyy... why did you keep me away from you..."
Mera haath meri chut par chala gaya—panty ke upar se hi chut ko sehlane lagi, chut ko dabane lagi.
Main: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Aisa laga jaise usne meri panty neeche sarka di. Meri ek tang utha kar apne upar rakh di aur sidhe chut par haath rakh kar usse sehlane laga. Maine use apni baahon mein kas liya.
Main tez-tez saansein lene lagi. Neend se jakar baith gayi—apne aap ko dekhne lagi. Phir chut ko dekha toh mujhe samajh aaya ki ye sab ek sapna tha. Aarush mera saath nahi tha.
Main bed se neeche utar kar washroom chali gayi. Khud ko saaf kiya, thande paani se chehra dhoya. Fir wapas bed par aakar let gayi. Ab neend bhi toot gayi thi.
Apne mobile par time dekha—raat ke 1 baj rahe the. Phir apni soch mein Aarush se baatein karne lagi.
Main: (khud se, halki hansi ke saath) "Dekha baby kya halat ho gayi hai meri? Main na pagal ho gayi hoon tumhari yaad mein."
(Thodi der soch kar, khud hi hasne lagi jo abhi hua wo soch kar)
"Ye sab tumhari wajah se ho raha hai. Tum jaldi aa jao mere paas. Aur dekhna, abse na main tumhe kabhi apne se dur nahi hone dungi. Tum kahi nahi jaoge mujhe chhod kar."Next time agar tumhe kuch aisa karna ho na mere saath—mujhe dur rakhna ho—toh pahle mujhe mar jane do, phir dur chale jana. Main nahi reh sakti tumhare siva. Tum samajhte kyun nahi ho? Hmmmm?"(Aankhen band kar ke, thoda narm hokar)
"You so bad, Aarush. Sooo bad."......
Aisi soch mein kab aankh lagi, pata hi nahi chala. Aur neend bhi aisi thi, jaise usi ke sapno mein chali gayi—jaise wo mere paas ho, jaise main uski baahon mein hun.
To Aarush raat ko Delhi pahunch gaya tha, aur subah uth kar office bhi chala gaya tha. Par main abhi tak so rahi thi,Aarush ke saath kal sex thoda zyada hi ho gaya tha. Meri body abhi bhi uski yaad mein thi, thodi thakaan si ho rahi thi. Maa ne mujhe nahi jagaya tha.
Dekhte hi dekhte 1 week aise hi nikal gaya. Aarush har roz office jaata tha, time nikaal kar mujhse baat karta tha. Ghar ka kaam bhi lagbhag pura ho chuka tha—sab saaman achhe se usne laga diya tha, har cheez apni jagah par, jaise wo chahta tha ki jab main aaun toh mujhe koi pareshani na ho.
Dophar ka time tha. Aarush lunch karke just abhi free hua tha, toh usne mujhe call lagaya.
Call
Main: (phone utha kar, khushi se) "Hi baby!"
Aarush: "Hii, kya kar rahi ho?"
Main: (halki si shararat) "Tumhara intezaar. Bas yahi toh kaam hai ab mere paas."
Aarush: (hans kar) "Har pal bas mere hi intezaar karti rahogi?
Main: "Jab tak tum mujhe lene nahi aate, tab tak. Yeh sab chhodo, ye batao—lunch hua?"
Aarush: "Haan, just abhi. But ek baat hai—main aapke haath ka khana bahut miss kar raha hoon. Yahan ka khana utna achha nahi lagta."
Main: (dil mein khushi) "Achha?"
Aarush: "Haan.
Main: "Baby, ek baat karni thi."
Tabhi mujhe Aarush ke pichhe se kisi ki awaaz aayi—ek ladki ki, halki si chhed khani bhari.
Ladki: "Aarush, bhabhi ke saath baat ho rahi hai kya? Hamara namaste bolna!"
Main thoda chaunk gayi. Dil mein ek khatak si hui.
Main: (thoda conk ho kar) " Aaaaa... Aarush, kaun hai?"
Aarush: " Office friend hai. Colleague. Bas mazaak kar rahi hai."
Main: (thoda ruk kar) "Hmmm."
Aarush: "Achha, kya baat kar rahi thi aap?"
Main: "Main ye keh rahi thi ki mujhe bahar ghumne jaane ka mann kar raha hai."
Aarush: "Toh jao na, maine kab mana kiya?"
Main: (thoda naraaz) "Babyyy... main puch nahi rahi hoon, bata rahi hoon."
Thodi der baad Aarush ne call rakh di. Main maa ka intezaar karte hue baith gayi. Maa aane ke baad unke saath khana khaya, phir kuch kaam se hum dono bahar chale gaye.
Hum dono chalte hue ja rahe the, baatein karte-karte. Raaste mein pedon ki chhaon thi, aur halki dhup thi jo shaam ki taraf jhuk rahi thi.
Maa: "Janvi, Aarush ne call kiya tha ki nahi?"
Main: "Haan Maa, dophar ko kiya tha."
Maa: "Kaisa chal raha hai uska? Theek toh hai na?
Main: (halki muskaan) "Wo bilkul theek hai Maa. Bas kehta hai mann nahi lagta akele. Ghar ka saara kaam kar liya hai, office mein bhi set ho raha hai."
Maa: "Ab wo bhi kya karega? Tune hi usse aadat laga di hai—kisi chhote bachche ki tarah. Kabhi apne se door hi nahi kiya toh ab wo akela kahan se reh lega?"
Main: "Wo abhi bhi mera chhotasa Aarush hi hai, Maa. Chahe wo kitna bhi bada ho gaya ho, mere liye wo wahi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, narmi se) "Har maa ke liye uske bachche chhote hi lagte hain. Jaise tujhe hi dekh—mere liye tu abhi bhi wo chhoti si Janvi hai jo mere paas aakar roti thi. Koi badal nahi sakta ye."
Kuch der baad hum wahan pahunch gaye. Kaam ye tha ki maine jo nayi saadiyaan li thi, unke kuch blouse silane the aur saadiyon mein embroidery bhi karwani thi. Sab karke hum ghar wapas aa gaye. Phir wahi ghar ka kaam, raat ka khana, TV serial dekhna, baby se baat karna, sone se pahle uske saath chatting karna, thoda rona uski yaad mein, phir so jaana.
2-3 din aise hi normally bit gaye. Ab bas 3 din hi baaki the—phir main Aarush ke paas chali jaungi. Ab aur intezaar nahi ho raha tha. Dil mein ek alag si bechaini thi, jaise koi mehmaan aane wala ho jiska main saalon se intezaar kar rahi hoon.
Aaj school mein chhuti hone ki wajah se Maa ghar par hi thi. Wo kuch kitchen mein nayi dish bana rahi thin. Main saare kaam nipta kar hall mein TV dekh rahi thi. Kuch samay baad mere phone par call aaya—Anjali ka tha.
Waise maine Anjali ko pehle hi sab bata diya tha—ki hum ye city chhod kar jaa rahe hain, ki Aarush ne Delhi mein job le li hai, aur ki main bhi wahi shift ho rahi hoon.
Anjali: "Main toh theek hoon. Tu bata, tu kaisi hai? Itne din baad baat kar rahe hain."
Main: "Main bhi badhiya hoon.aaj kese yaad aai
Anjali: (halki shikayat) "Ab kya karein? Tujhe toh tere bete ke siva kuch dikhta hi nahi. Toh humein bhi dekhna padega na tumhe, warna toh tu humein bhool hi jayegi."
Main: "Oyyyy! Ab tu toh aise mat bol. Tu toh jaanti hai na main kaisi hoon."
Anjali: (hans kar) " Hahhh... ye sab chhodo. Darsal baat ye hai ki hum yahan rishtedaar ki shaadi mein aaye the. Ab wapas jaate hue tumhare gaon ke paas se guzar rahe hain, toh socha tumse mil lun. Badi yaad aa rahi hai."
Fir main phone rakh kar Maa ke paas chali gayi. Khushi se mera chehra khil utha tha.
Main: (tezi se) "Maa! Anjali aa rahi hai milne! Uske husband aur bachche bhi saath hain!"
Maa: (hairan) "Aaj achanak? Kya baat hui?"
Main: "Wo Maa, Anjali kisi rishtedar ki shaadi mein aayi thi, toh bol rahi thi ki mil kar jaayegi. Wapas jaate waqt "
Maa: (muskurate hue) "Ye achha kiya usne. Fir main unke liye kuch khaana bhi bana deti hoon. Mehmaanon ke liye achha sa."
Main: "Theek hai Maa, main bhi madad kar deti hoon. Kya bana rahi ho?"
Maa: "Samosa, pakode, aur kuch mithai bhi. "
Fir hum dono milkar khana banane lage. Maa ne aata gundha, main ne aloo mash kiye.
Rasoi mein garam tel ki khushboo thi, aur baatein chal rahi thin—Anjali ki shadi, uske bachche, aur purani yaadein. Do ghante ka intezaar bhi mujhe teen ghante jaisa laga. Baar-baar khidki se bahar dekhti, gaadi ki awaaz sunte hi dil uchhal jaata.
Maa ne samose aur pakode bana liye the, chai ki taiyari bhi ho chuki thi.
Aakhir gaadi aangan mein aakar ruki. Main daudkar bahar gayi.
Anjali: (gaadi se utarte hi, mujhe dekhte hi) "Janvi!"
Main: (baahon mein bharte hue) "Anjali!"
Hum dono ek dusre se gale mil gaye—kaafi der tak, jaise itne dinon ki doori ek pal mein mit gayi ho. Anjali ke aansu bhi aa gaye, mere bhi. Peeche se Anjali ka pati gaadi se utra,
Anjali ka pati: "Namaste Janvi ji."
Main: "Namaste! Aap log aaye, bahut achha laga. Kab se wait kar rahi thi."
Gaadi ke pichhe se do chhote bachche bhi utre—dono neend mein thoda aankhen mal rahe the, safar ki thakaan se.
Anjali: (bachchon ki taraf dekhte hue) "Dekh bachche kitne thak gaye hain."
Jaise hi bachchon ne mujhe dekha, wo daudkar mere paas aa gaye. Chhoti si bachi ne mera haath pakad liya, aur bade ne meri sari ko dekha.
Main: (bachchi ko god mein utha kar) "Arre are, kitni thak gayi hai? Aunty ke paas aao."
Fir saare andar aaye, hall mein baith gaye. Maa ne chai-nashta laaya, bachchon ke liye biscuit aur juice bhi.
Maa: "Anjali beta, kaisi ho? Itne din baad dekha."
Main: (halki muskaan, thodi udaasi ke saath) "Haan, Delhi mein hai abhi. Naukri shuru ki hai. Ek mahina hone wala hai. Ab bas 3 din baaki hain, phir main bhi chali jaungi uske paas."
Anjali: (mera haath dabate hue) "Isiliye tu apni maa ke paas hai? Akela nahi reh paayi hogi wahan?"
Main: (gehri saans lete hue) "Haan, wahi baat hai. Bahut yaad aati hai uski. Par kya karein, career ke liye zaroori tha. Maa bhi nahi chhod paayi."
Anjali: "Samajh sakti hoon. Himmat rakh. Sab thik ho jayega. "
Janvi: "Tu bata, sab kuch kaise chal raha hai?
Anjali: (muskura kar) "Achha chal raha hai, Bhagwan ki kripa se. Bachche badhe ho rahe hain, ghar-parivaar sab theek hai."
Baatein karte-karte bachche mere paas aakar baith gaye. Chhoti ne mera haath pakad liya aur bada mere paas aakar khada ho gaya.
Main: (muskurate hue, uske baalon mein haath pherte hue) "Nahi beta, khilona toh nahi hai. Par chalo, main tumhe kahani sunaati hoon. Kaisi rahegi?"
Bachcha: (khushi se) "Haan! Kahani!"
Maine chhoti ko god mein bithaya, aur ek chhoti si kahani sunaayi—raja-rani aur ek magar ki kahani. Dusra bachcha bhi paas aakar baith gaya, dono dhyan se sun rahe the.
Maa: (dekh kar muskurate hue) "Janvi ko bachchon se bahut lagav hai."
Anjali:"Haan, ye toh hamesha se hi aisi hai. Iski god mein bachcha aate hi sukoon aa jaata hai."
Fir thodi der baad Maa ne sabke liye khaana laga diya—aagrah karke sabko khilaya.
Maa: "Aaram se khao, itni door se aaye ho, bhookhe kaise ja sakte ho? "
Anjali ka pati: (khana khaate hue,) "Aunty, bahut zabardast khaana hai. Bilkul ghar jaisa lag raha hai. Kya baat hai, aapke haath mein jaadu hai."
Anjali: (hasti hui) "Haan Aunty, same Janvi ke haath jaisa taste hai."
Khaana khaate-khaate bahut saari baatein hui—Anjali ke bachchon ki school ki baatein, unki padhai, Aarush ke baare mein, uski job ke baare mein.
Khana hone ke baad Anjali ka pati bachchon ko lekar bahar garden mein chala gaya—pedon ke neeche thoda ghoomne. Ghar ke andar Maa, Anjali aur main baith gayi, dheemi awaaz mein baatein karte hue.
Anjali: "Janvi... Pratap ki koi khabar? "
Main: "Uski khabar lekar main kya karungi, Anjali? Wo toh chala gaya meri life se.
Anjali: "Nahi, mera matlab hai ki kahin usne call karne ki koshish kuch ki? Tujhe pareshan toh nahi kar raha?"
Maa: (tezi se) "Nahi, aur agar kiya bhi toh main use chhodungi nahi. Kitni takleef di usne meri bachchi ko."
Meri aankhein bhar aayi. Fir ek baar sab yaad aane laga—woh raatein, woh jhagde, wo tanhai. Maine saadi ke pallu mein muh chhupa kar rone lagi. Maa aur Anjali mere paas aakar mujhe shant karne lagi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Main kese shant ho jaun Anju? Us insaan ne sab kuch barbaad kar diya mera! Kya bigada tha maine uska? Yahi na ki usse pyaar kar baithi? Usne toh mera trust, meri izzat, mera sab kuch chheen liya."
Maa: (mera haath sahlate hue) "Bas... bas Janvi, ro mat. Ab wo nahi hai zindagi mein. Tu ab nayi zindagi jee rahi hai. Aage dekh."
Anjali: "Haan Janvi, Ab tu apni nayi zindagi par dhyan de."
Fir kuch der baad maa kitchen mein chali gayi. Anjali mere aur kareeb aa kar baith gayi.
Anjali: "Janvi, tu Aarush ke saath khush hai na? "
Main: (ankhon mein aansu, lekin muskaan) "Anju, tujhe pata hai na wo kaisa hai? Wo mujhe koi takleef nahi hone deta. Phool ki tarah khayal rakhata hai mera. Uske bina toh main kuch nahi."
Anjali: "Kash tera pati bhi Aarush ki tarah hota. Teri zindagi kabhi aisi na hoti."
Main mann hi mann soch rahi thi—hai wo mera pati. Ab wo hai. Lekin ye main Anjali ko nahi bata sakti.
Maine Anjali ko gale lagaya, aur phir ek baar fut-fut kar rone lagi.
Main: (uske kandhe par sar rakh kar) "Bahut miss kar rahi hoon Anjali usse. 1 mahina dur rahi hoon usse, aur ab reha nahi jata usse door. Dil bahut bechain ho gaya hai.
Main: (Anjali se dur hokar apne aansu ponchte hue) "Agar Aarush nahi hota toh mera kya hota, Anju? Main toh mar hi jaati. Usi ne mujhe jeevan diya, phir se."
Anjali: (dat kar) "Aise nahi bolte. Jo hua, achhe ke liye hua. Ab tu khush hai na? To bas
Main: "Mera Aarush hai isliye bas jinda hoon. Uske bina toh main kahin ki nahi."
Fir Maa bhi aa gayi. Ab waqt ho chuka tha—Anjali ne ghadi dekhi.
Anjali: (uth kar, thoda udaas) "Janvi, ab humein nikalna hoga. Raat hone se pehle ghar pahunch na hai, bachchon ke liye bhi theek rahega."
Main: "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh aayi thi tu. Baat karte-karte waqt ka pata nahi chala."
Anjali: "Kya karoon, safar lamba hai. Par promise karti hoon—jaldi phir milenge. Ya tu aa jaana hamare ghar."
Main: (muskura kar) "Zaroor aaungi. Aarush ko lekar. Tab tak apna khayal rakh."
Sab bahar aaye, gaadi tak chhodne. Bachchon ne mujhe gale lagaya—chhote se haathon se.
Gaadi dheere-dheere aage badhi—dhool udati sadak par. Main wahin khadi rahi, jab tak gaadi mod par ghoom kar aankhon se ojhal nahi ho gayi.Anjali se milkar khush bhi thi, aur uske bhare-poore parivaar ko dekh kar Aarush ki yaad bhi aur zyada aa rahi thi.
Fir hum dono ghar ke andar aa gaye. Maa TV dekhne baith gayi, aur main phone nikaal kar Aarush ko call karne lagi—ye sochte hue ki ab tak toh office se aa gaya hoga.
Ek baar call kiya, toh usne uthaya nahi. Maine firse kiya, toh bhi uthaya nahi.
Main: (apne aap se, thoda naraaz) "Oohhfoooo! Ye ladka bhi na... aaj kal phone uthana bhool gaya hai."
Maa: (TV se nazar hata kar) "Kya hua Janvi? Kya baat hai?"
Main: "Maa, Aarush call nahi utha raha. Pata nahi kya kar raha hai."
Maa: "Ghar aata hoga, aaega toh karega. Tu chinta mat kar.
Main: "Hmm..."
Kuch der tak hum dono TV dekhte rahe, par mera mann hai ki kahin lag hi nahi raha tha. Main wahi sofe par pichhe sar rakh kar aankhen band kar ke baith gayi.
Aankhen band hote hi mujhe wo pal yaad aane lage jo kuch din pahle maine Aarush ke saath hotel mein bitaye the. Kitna hasin tha sab kuch. Mera Aarush mere paas tha, meri baahon mein. Uski baatein, uski hansi, uske badan ka sparsh—mujhe sab yaad aane laga.
Aankhon se ek boond aansu nikal kar niche gir gaya.
Soch rahi thi— kab aayega? Kab main uske saath rahungi? Kab uski baahon mein chain ki neend soo paungi? Soch soch kar dil aur bechain ho raha tha.
Aankhein band thi meri. Saamne TV chal raha hai—Maa kisi purane serial mein khoyi hui hain, jisme koi ro raha hai kisi rishte ke toot jaane par. Aur main sochti hoon, kitna ajeeb hai na—TV ke andar ka dukh bhi kabhi-kabhi asli dukh se zyada sachcha lagta hai. Awaaz bahut halki hai, bas ek dhundhla sa shor, jo mujh tak pahunchta toh hai, par andar tak nahi utarta. Kyunki andar se main kahin aur hoon.
Dimaag ek film ki tarah chal raha hai—bina mere bulaye. Sabse pehle wo din yaad aata hai jab main dulhan bani thi—laal jode mein, haathon mein mehendi, aankhon mein sapne. Us waqt lagta tha zindagi bas yahin se shuru hoti hai—asli khushi, asli ghar, asli apna koi. Kitni bholi thi main, ya shayad kitni umeed se bhari.
Phir yaadein dheere-dheere rang badalne lagti hain. Wo shuruaati saal jab hum dono raat ko chhat par baith kar baatein karte the, chhoti-chhoti cheezon par hansi aati thi—kisi film ka dialogue, kisi rishtedar ka kissa. Us waqt lagta tha ye hansi kabhi khatam nahi hogi.
Par khatam ho gayi.
Kab shuru hui thi doori, mujhe theek se yaad bhi nahi. Bas itna yaad hai ki ek din maine notice kiya ki wo mujhse baat karte waqt phone dekhta rehta hai. Phir wo raatein jab main intezaar karti reh jaati thi—khana table par thanda hota rehta, aur main sofe par baithi rehti, bilkul aise hi jaise abhi baithi hoon—aankhein khuli par kuch dekh nahi rahi hoti thi.
Maine khud ko kitni baar samjhaya—"sab theek ho jayega." Kitna bada jhooth tha ye, jo maine sabse zyada khud se bola.
Phir wo din aaya jab sab saaf ho gaya. Kisi aur ladki ka naam, koi aur muskaan jo shayad kabhi meri hua karti thi. Ajeeb baat hai—jab sach saamne aaya, toh na gussa aaya, na chillayi main, na roi. Bas ek khaalipan sa fail gaya seene mein—jaise koi kamra ho jise achanak khaali kar diya gaya ho, saara saaman ek raat mein gayab.
Log kehte hain divorce ke baad zindagi ruk jaati hai. Par sach ye hai ki meri zindagi ne mujhe rukne hi nahi diya—kyunki ek haath tha jo mera intezaar kar raha tha.
Aarush....
Uska naam zehen mein aate hi kuch andar se pighalta hai. Jab main sabse zyada toot rahi thi, tab wahi ek chehra tha jo mujhe seedha khada rakhta tha. Yaad hai mujhe, jab wo chhota sa tha, meri ungli pakad kar chalna seekhta tha—girta tha, phir uthta tha, aur mujhe dekh kar hansta tha jaise keh raha ho "dekha Maa, main theek hoon."
Aaj wahi ladka bada ho gaya hai. Itna bada ki ab wahi mujhe sambhalta hai. Jab maine usse divorce ke baare mein bataya tha, uski aankhon mein gussa nahi tha, dukh bhi nahi—bas ek sthirta thi, jaise wo pehle se jaanta ho ki usse mujhe sambhalna hai. Usne bas mera haath pakda tha aur kaha tha—"Maa, ab main hoon na."
Kitni simple si baat thi, par us waqt lagi jaise kisi ne meri toot chuki duniya wapas jod di ho.
Wo mujhse pyaar karta hai—aisa pyaar jisme koi shart nahi, koi maang nahi. Har roz call karta hai, chhoti-chhoti baatein poochta hai—"khana khaya? dawai li? theek se so rahi ho na?" Jaise koi beta nahi, balki koi mera rakhwala ho, jo mujhe phool ki tarah sambhalta hai, dhyan se, pyaar se, jaise main koi keemti cheez hoon jise tootane nahi deta .
Kabhi-kabhi sochti hoon—jo pyaar mujhe ek rishte mein khojna tha aur nahi mila, wo saara pyaar mujhe mere bete ne, bina maange, khud-ba-khud de diya.
Kuch din baad wo mujhe lene aayega. Sochte hi honthon par ek halki si muskaan aa jaati hai, jo maine khud bhi notice nahi ki kab aa gayi.
Maa abhi bhi TV dekh rahi hain—unhe shayad pata bhi nahi ki main yahan baithi hoon par kahin aur hoon. Main unki taraf dekhti hoon—unke chehre par bhi waqt ki lakeerein hain, unhone bhi apni zindagi mein na jaane kitne tootne-jodne dekhe honge. Shayad isiliye wo kuch poochti nahi, bas apni jagah baithi rehti hain—jaise unki khamoshi hi unka saath dene ka tareeqa ho.
Aankhein khol kar main ek lambi saans leti hoon. Bahar shaam dhalne lagi hai, khidki se halki narangi roshni kamre mein aa rahi hai. Shayad zindagi ne mujhse sab kuch nahi cheena. Kuch cheen kar, usne mujhe wo de diya jo shayad sabse zyada zaroori tha—ek beta jo mujhse utna hi pyaar karta hai, jitna main kabhi kisi se ummeed kar sakti thi.
Aur abhi, is pal, bas itna kaafi hai.
Sofe par baithi apni hi soch mein, main kab so gayi pata hi nahi chala. Mobile mere haath se fisal kar sofe par gir gaya. Raat ke 8 baj chuke the. Aarush ka phone aa kar gaya tha—Maa ne usse baat ki thi, aur main so rahi thi toh unhone mujhe nahi jagaya.
Phir kuch der baad kukur ki sieti se meri neend toot gayi. Ghadi ki taraf dekha toh 9 baj rahe the. Maine fatafat phone uthaya aur Aarush ko call laga di.
Call
Main: (neend se uthti hui, or baat karte huwe bedroom main chali gai ) "Hello baby?"
Aarush: "Mom, aap uth gayi?"
Main: "Tumhe kaise pata ki main so rahi thi?"
Aarush: "Kuch der pehle maine call kiya tha toh Nani se baat ho gayi thi. Unhone bataya ki aap so rahi hain. Toh maine socha, aapko jagana nahi chaahiye."
Main: "Hmm... ye batao, jab main tumhe call kar rahi thi, kyun nahi utha rahe the?"
Aarush: "Phone silent par tha, Mom. Aur main bas ghar hi aa raha tha. Car mein tha, toh sunai nahi diya."
Main: "Hmm... pata hai aaj Anjali aayi thi—apne family ke saat."
Main: "Main toh thik hi hoon baby. Bas tumhari bahut yaad aa rahi hai. "
Aarush: "Pata hai.... Mom main badmein baat karun? Mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kuch files dekhni hain."
Main: "Theek hai. Par haan, khana kha lena time par."
Aarush: "Haan. Love you, Mom. Goodnight."
Main: "Love you too, Aarush. Bye."
Phone cut karte hi main phone apne seene se laga kar let gayi. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi—uski awaaz thodi badli lag rahi thi. Kya ho sakta hai ? uski aawaj to pahle aisi nahi thi....
Ab dekhte hi dekhte din nikal gaye,Do din baad Aarush wapas aane wala tha, aur is baat se dil mein ajeeb si khushi thi. Par pichle do dinon se kuch ajeeb sa lag raha tha—Aarush ki calls chhoti ho gayi thin, messages bhi kam aa rahe the, aur jab baat hoti bhi thi, uski awaaz mein pehle jaisi wo garmi, wo excitement nahi thi. Jaise koi door ho raha ho, jaise koi wall ban rahi ho mere aur uske beech.
Raat ke das baje maine call kiya. Dil dhadak raha tha, na jaane kyun.
Main: "Baby, kaisa raha aaj din?"
Aarush: (halki, thakan bhari awaaz mein, jaise kuch chhupa raha ho) "Theek tha, Mom... bas thoda busy raha. Kaam bahut tha."
Main: "Khaana khaya? Time se?"
Aarush: "Haan khaya... Mom suno na, mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kal baat karte hain, okay?"
Main: (thoda hairan ho gai ) "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh baat shuru hi hui thi. Tumhari awaaz kuch ajeeb lag rahi hai."
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, sach mein bahut kaam hai. Aur thoda tired bhi hoon. Good night."
Phone kat gaya, aur main wahin baithi rah gayi—phone haath mein liye, uski awaaz mein jo ajeeb sa tuta-tuta pan tha wo dimaag mein ghoomta raha. Kya baat hai? Kyun aisa kar raha hai? Maine socha, shayad main hi zyada soch rahi hoon. Par dil nahi maan raha tha.
Agli raat toh aur bhi ajeeb rahi. Maine teen baar call kiya—do baar toh phone hi nahi utha. Teesri baar uthaya toh bhi awaaz mein wahi thakan, wahi jaldi khatam karne ki koshish.
Main: (thoda gussa aur pareshan) "Aarush, kya baat hai? Do din se tum kuch chhupa rahe ho mujhse.
Aarush: "Kuch nahi chhupa raha Mom, bas office mein thoda extra pressure hai. New project hai, isliye thak jaata hoon."
Main: "Par tumhari awaaz mein kuch aur hi lag raha hai. Sach batao, sab theek hai na? Tum mujhse jhooth toh nahi bol rahe?"
Aarush: "Haan Mom, sab theek hai. Aap fikar mat karo."
Main: "Tum pagal ho gaye ho! 'Fikar mat karo'? Fikar kaise na karoon? Tum roz raat ko itni der tak baat karte the, ab do minute mein hi call kaatne lagte ho. Kuch toh hai jo tum bata nahi rahe. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe pata hona chahiye.
Aarush: "Mom... bas thoda tired hoon. Itni si baat hai. Kal baat karte hain."
Main: (thoda ruk kar, dard se) "Theek hai... good night."
Maine phone rakh diya, par mann bilkul shaant nahi tha. Andar hi andar ek ajeeb sa gussa aur uljhan mehsoos ho rahi thi. Us raat neend nahi aayi. Baar-baar wahi khayal aata raha—kya baat hai jo Aarush chhupa raha hai? Kahin office mein koi problem toh nahi? Ya... koi aur wajah hai?
Aurat ka dil hai, thoda shak toh aa hi jaata hai. Kahin aisa toh nahi ki wahan koi naya dost ban gai ho, jisse baat karne mein zyada time nikal jaata ho, aur mujhse baat karne ka mann hi na kare? Ye khayal aate hi khud par gussa aaya—Janvi, aisa kaise soch sakti ho tum Aarush ke baare mein? Lekin dil toh dil hai, usko kaun samjhaaye?
Mujhe kuch bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun. Bahut tension aur sawaalon ne mujhe gher liya tha. Raat bhar kab tak aise hi jagti rahi, pata nahi chala. Aankhen khuli thin, par sapne Aarush ke hi the.
Subah main uth gayi. Maa ke saath chai-nashta bana liya, uske baad Maa ke saath baith gayi. Nashte ki table pe Maa ne mera udaas chehra dekha.
Maa: "Kya hua Janvi? Chehra kyun latka hua hai? Kal se kuch khaas nahi bol rahi."
Main: "Kuch nahi Maa... bas Aarush do dinon se ajeeb behave kar raha hai. Thik se baat nahi karta, jaldi phone kaat deta hai. Jaise kuch chhupa raha ho."
Maa: "Kaam ka pressure hoga beta, itna sochne ki kya zaroorat? Naye city mein naye kaam mein time lagta hai."
Main: "Maa, mujhe lagta hai wo kuch chhupa raha hai mujhse. Pehle toh kabhi aisa nahi karta tha.
Maa: (mera haath pakad kar) "Janvi, aisa kuch nahi hoga. Bas tu uske baare mein zyada sochti hai na, isliye tere mann mein aise vichar aate hain. Aur agar wo kuch nahi bata raha, toh zaroor koi wajah hogi. Bina jaane shak karna theek nahi."
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Par Maa, dil hi nahi maanta. Aise lagta hai jaise kuch chhupaya ja raha hai mujhse. Aur main kuch kar nahi sakti."
Maa: "Sabr rakh beta, do hi din baaki hain na? Khud aake bata dega jo bhi baat hai. Tab tak tu apna khayal rakh."
Maa se baat karte-karte thoda nashta kar liya—waise toh kuch bhi khane-pine ka mann nahi kar raha tha. Bas Aarush ke hi khayal aa rahe the. Main apne aap ko kaamon mein uljhaaye rakhti, taaki na sochu. Par har cheez uski yaad dilaati thi.
Us shaam maine Aarush ko phir se call kiya. Aur is baar Aarush ki awaaz aur bhi kamzor lagi—jaise thakan se zyada, kuch aur bhi ho. Jaise wo bolna nahi chahta, par bol raha hai. Mujhe ab aur sehan nahi hua, aur bahut gussa bhi aane laga—ki ye ladka mujhse kya chhupa raha hai?
Uske call uthate hi main use daantna shuru kar di.
Call
Main: (tez awaaz mein, gussa aur dard dono) "Aarush, ab bas! Sach batao kya baat hai. Main pareshan ho rahi hoon. Do din se mujhe neend nahi aa rahi."
Aarush: "Mom, kuch nahi hai, please... aap shant ho jao."
Main: (awaaz mein gussa aur dard dono, thodi tez rote huwe ) "Nahi Aarush, ye theek nahi hai. Do din se tum mujhse seedhe munh baat nahi kar rahe, jaldi phone kaat dete ho, awaaz mein wo pehli jaisi baat nahi hai. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe haq hai jaanne ka ki tumhare saath kya ho raha hai. Mujhe ab aur pareshan mat karo! "
Ye keh kar main fut-fut kar rone lagi—nahi ho raha tha ab mujhse sehan kuch bhi. Ek toh itni door hai ki main ja bhi nahi sakti uske paas, warna ek khich kar thappad laga deti toh bolta. Par main yahan hoon, aur wo wahan, aur ye doori mujhe maar rahi hai.
Aarush chup rehta hai kuch pal. Sirf uski saans sunai de rahi thi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Kya baat hai Aarush? Kya main itni kamzor lagti hoon tumhe ki tum mujhse sach nahi bata sakte? Ya phir koi aur wajah hai jisse tum baat nahi karna chahte mujhse?"
Ye kehte hue mera gala bhar aaya, aankhon mein aansu aa gaye—mixed feelings the, gussa bhi, dukh bhi, aur ye dar bhi ki kahin sach mein kuch aisa na ho jo humare rishton ko badal de.
Aarush: (aakhir mein, thaki aur bhari awaaz mein wo bolne lga ) "Mom... sach batata hoon, bas please pareshan mat hona. Aur rona toh bilkul nahi."
Main: (dil zor se dhadakne laga, awaaz kaanp rahi thi) "Baby, ab batao na please... main aur nahi sehan kar sakti."
Aarush: (gehri saans lete hue) "Mujhe halka bukhaar hai, do din se. Kaam ka pressure bhi hai, isliye thakan zyada mehsoos ho rahi hai. Maine socha aapko nahi bataunga, kyunki agar bataata toh aap aur pareshan ho jaati. Aur aapke paas aana mumkin nahi tha mere liye, toh sirf aapko tension dena theek nahi laga. Maine socha chhupa kar rakhta hoon, theek ho jaunga."
Ye sunte hi meri aankhon se aansu bahne lage—gussa aur pyaar dono ek saath umad aaye.
Main: (rote hue) "Aarush! Tu... tumne mujhe kyun nahi bataya? Main tumhari maa hoon na, mujhe jaanne ka haq hai jab tum bimaar ho, tab bhi! Isse zyada bura kya lagega mujhe ki tum mujhse aisi baatein chhupao?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom. Maine socha aapki fikr kam karne ke liye chhupa raha, par ulta aapko aur pareshan kar diya."
Main: (aansu ponchte hue) "Haan kiya! Do din se main sochti rahi ki pata nahi kya baat hai, mann mein tarah-tarah ke khayal aa rahe the..." (ruk gayi, thoda sharminda hokar)
Aarush: "Kaise khayal?"
Main: (halki awaaz mein, sharminda hote hue) "Kuch nahi... bas... dar lag raha tha kahin kuch aur baat toh nahi. Kahin tum mujhse dur toh nahi ho rahe."
Aarush: "Mom, aisa kabhi mat sochna. Mere dil mein sirf aap ho, aur hamesha rahogi. Bas aapki fikr mein galti kar baitha, ye baat chhupa ke. Main aapko kabhi chhod nahi sakta."
Main: (dat kar, par pyaar se) "Aainda kabhi aisa mat karna Aarush. Chahe kitni bhi chhoti baat ho, mujhe batana. Hum saath hain na, toh dukh-sukh dono share karna chahiye, sirf khushiyan nahi. Hamne is baare mein pahle bhi baat ki thi na, tum bhool gaye?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, aainda kabhi nahi chhupaunga kuch. Promise."
Main: (thoda shaant hokar) "Hmm... ab batao, dawai li? Bukhaar kitna hai abhi?"
Aarush: "Li hai, ab thoda kam hai. Do din mein theek ho jaunga, aap chinta mat karo.
Main: "Kaise na karoon chinta? Tum wahan akele ho, koi dekhne wala bhi nahi... kya karoge agar bukhaar badh gaya to?"
Aarush: (halka sa haskar) "Main theek hoon Mom. Bas do din aur, phir toh aap hongi hi na mere paas—mera khayal rakhne ke liye."
Mera gussa dheere-dheere pighalne laga, par dil mein ek sukoon bhi tha—ki sach jaanke, chahe wo bimaar hone ki hi khabar kyun na ho, kam se kam uljhan toh khatam ho gayi thi. Ab main jaanti hoon ki wo mujhse door nahi ho raha, bas bimaar hai.
Main: "Achha theek hai... par ab se roz batana kaisa mehsoos kar rahe ho. Koi baat chhupaoge nahi. Samjhe?"
Aarush: "Nahi chhupaunga. Sorry phir se, aapko pareshan kiya isliye."
Main: (thoda hans kar) "Chalo maaf kiya, is baar ke liye. Par agli baar aisi galti hui na, toh main khud aake tumhari khabar loongi! Samjhe tum?"
Aarush halka sa hasa—uski awaaz mein pehli baar us din thodi rahat mehsoos hui.
Aarush: "Achha baba, promise karta hoon aisi koi galti nahi hogi. Ab aap shant ho jao."
Main: "Hmm... ab so jao, aaram karo. Kal phir baat karenge."
Aarush: "Theek hai. Good night. Love you, Mom."
Main: "Love you too. Jaldi theek ho jao, do din baad aana hai na."
Phone rakhte hi maine ek gehri saans li—jo do dinon ka bojh seene pe tha, wo halka ho gaya tha. Par saath hi ek naya seekh bhi mila tha—
pyaar mein chhupana chahe kitni bhi achhi niyat se ho, dard hi deta hai.
Sach, chahe kaisa bhi ho,
sunna aasan hota hai jhoothi khaamoshi se.
Call rakh kar main Maa ke paas chali gayi. Maa khane ke liye plates laga rahi thin. Fir hum dono khana khane baith gaye.
Ye sunte hi Maa ne apne haath mein se nivala neeche rakh diya—wo achanak thodi ghabra gayin.
Maa: "Are Bap re! Kya hua usse?
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Bukhaar hai, 2-3 din se.
Maa: (thoda ruk kar) "2-3 din se? Achha... ab samjhi ki wo tujhse baat kyun nahi kar raha tha. Apni bimari chhupa raha tha."
Meri aankh se aansu aa gaye. Maine saadi ke pallu se apne aansu ponchne ki koshish ki, par wo rukte nahi the.
Main: "Dekha na Maa Aapne kaisa karta hai wo. Mujhase chhupa kar rakhta hai taaki main pareshan na ho. Lekin wo nahi jaanta ki uska ye chhupana mujhe aur zyada pareshan kar deta hai."
Maa: "Hmm... ab kaisa hai wo? ruk...pehle main zara usse baat karun. Mujhe khana nahi khaya jayega."
Main: (Maa ko rok kar) "Nahi Maa, aap ab subah hi baat kar lena usse. Maine use dawai lekar sone ke liye bol diya hai. Ab wo aaram kar raha hoga."
Maa: "Theek toh hai na wo? Bukhaar kitna hai?"
Main: "Hmm, ab thoda bukhaar utar gaya hai. Usne kaha kal tak theek ho jayega."
Maa: "Mujhe na is ladke ka kuch samajh hi nahi aata.
Main: (halki muskaan) "Hai na... wo aisa hi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, thoda dat kar) "Aur tu bhi kuch kam nahi hai. Dono ek jaise ho—ek doosre ki fikr mein pagal."
Ye keh kar Maa thodi hansi, aur unke saath main bhi thodi hansne lagi. Halka sa mahaul halka ho gaya.
Fir khana kha kar saare kaam nipta kar hum sone chale gaye. Bedroom mein jaate hi maine light off kar di aur mobile mein Aarush ki photo nikali. Use dekhte hue bed par let gayi—zoom kar-kar kar uski aankhon mein dekhne lagi, jaise us image ko apne seene mein utaar lena chahti hoon.
Phone ko apne seene se laga kar, aankhen band kar ke, pure dil se Aarush ko pukarne lagi—kash, kash mera Aarush mere dil ki baat is waqt sun leta. Par tabhi maine mehsoos kiya ki jaise Aarush mere side mein hi leta hai. Maine aankhen band kiye hue uski taraf palat gayi.
Main: (dheemi, bhaari awaaz mein) "Baby... kya tum sach mein mere paas ho?"
Aarush: (sapne mein, jaise uski awaaz) "Haan Jaan, tum bulati ho toh aaunga hi na. Main kahan ja sakta hoon tumse door?"
Main: "To kya khud pareshan hote rahoge? Main tumhari maa hoon,
Aarush: "Khud pareshan hona chalega mujhe. Par tum pareshan ho—ye nahi chalega. Tum meri Jaan ho, meri zindagi ho. Tumhare bina main kya?"
Main: (rote hue) "Babyyy... "
Aarush: "Kya tum ab bhi rogi? Tum apna rona kab band karogi, Janvi?"
Main: "Jab tum hamesha mere paas rahoge. Jab mujhe kabhi akela nahi chhodoge."
Aarush: "Achha..."
Main: "Hmm..."
Ab ye sab baatein aur Aarush ka ye ehsaas, ye sab mujhe neend mein feel ho raha tha. Main sapno mein chali gayi thi—ek aisa sapna jo mujhe sach lag raha tha.
Maine mehsoos kiya ki Aarush mere aur paas aaya—bilkul paas. Meri kamr mein haath daal kar usne mujhe apni taraf kheench liya. Mere honthon ko chumne laga—pyaar se, dheere-dheere, jaise main koi naazuk cheez hoon.
Main neend mein wo sab feel karne lagi—neend mein uske saath baatein karte hue moan karne lagi. Bed par chatpatane lagi, jaise uska sparsh mere body ko chhu raha ho.
Aarush ne dhire se meri nighty ko upar utthaya—nighty sarkte hue meri kamar tak aa gayi. Ab main bed par neeche se nangi thi, bas ek chhoti si panty ne meri chut ko chhupa ke rakha tha, jo ab dhire-dhire wet hone lagi thi. Aarush ne nighty ke andar haath daal kar mere boobs pakad liye aur unhe dabane laga.
Main: (neend mein karahate hue) "Ahhhhhhh... baby, mat karo na aisa... ammmm... ahhhhhhh..."
Usne mere boobs ko apne muh mein bhar liya aur chusne laga, haathon se dabane laga.
Main bas bed par aadhi nangi padi rahi aur neend mein ye sab feel karne lagi. Mere haath boobs par the—main khud hi boobs daba rahi thi. Lekin aise feel ho raha tha jaise Aarush hi kar raha ho sab. Jaise uska haath mera haath ho gaya ho.
Phir maine mehsoos kiya ki uska ek haath neeche jane laga—mere pet ko chhookar dhire se meri panty tak pahunch gaya.
Main: (neend mein, hichki ke saath) "Ammmm... ahhhhhh... babyyy... why did you keep me away from you..."
Mera haath meri chut par chala gaya—panty ke upar se hi chut ko sehlane lagi, chut ko dabane lagi.
Main: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Aisa laga jaise usne meri panty neeche sarka di. Meri ek tang utha kar apne upar rakh di aur sidhe chut par haath rakh kar usse sehlane laga. Maine use apni baahon mein kas liya.
Main tez-tez saansein lene lagi. Neend se jakar baith gayi—apne aap ko dekhne lagi. Phir chut ko dekha toh mujhe samajh aaya ki ye sab ek sapna tha. Aarush mera saath nahi tha.
Main bed se neeche utar kar washroom chali gayi. Khud ko saaf kiya, thande paani se chehra dhoya. Fir wapas bed par aakar let gayi. Ab neend bhi toot gayi thi.
Apne mobile par time dekha—raat ke 1 baj rahe the. Phir apni soch mein Aarush se baatein karne lagi.
Main: (khud se, halki hansi ke saath) "Dekha baby kya halat ho gayi hai meri? Main na pagal ho gayi hoon tumhari yaad mein."
(Thodi der soch kar, khud hi hasne lagi jo abhi hua wo soch kar)
"Ye sab tumhari wajah se ho raha hai. Tum jaldi aa jao mere paas. Aur dekhna, abse na main tumhe kabhi apne se dur nahi hone dungi. Tum kahi nahi jaoge mujhe chhod kar."Next time agar tumhe kuch aisa karna ho na mere saath—mujhe dur rakhna ho—toh pahle mujhe mar jane do, phir dur chale jana. Main nahi reh sakti tumhare siva. Tum samajhte kyun nahi ho? Hmmmm?"(Aankhen band kar ke, thoda narm hokar)
"You so bad, Aarush. Sooo bad."......
Aisi soch mein kab aankh lagi, pata hi nahi chala. Aur neend bhi aisi thi, jaise usi ke sapno mein chali gayi—jaise wo mere paas ho, jaise main uski baahon mein hun.
To Aarush raat ko Delhi pahunch gaya tha, aur subah uth kar office bhi chala gaya tha. Par main abhi tak so rahi thi,Aarush ke saath kal sex thoda zyada hi ho gaya tha. Meri body abhi bhi uski yaad mein thi, thodi thakaan si ho rahi thi. Maa ne mujhe nahi jagaya tha.
Dekhte hi dekhte 1 week aise hi nikal gaya. Aarush har roz office jaata tha, time nikaal kar mujhse baat karta tha. Ghar ka kaam bhi lagbhag pura ho chuka tha—sab saaman achhe se usne laga diya tha, har cheez apni jagah par, jaise wo chahta tha ki jab main aaun toh mujhe koi pareshani na ho.
Dophar ka time tha. Aarush lunch karke just abhi free hua tha, toh usne mujhe call lagaya.
Call
Main: (phone utha kar, khushi se) "Hi baby!"
Aarush: "Hii, kya kar rahi ho?"
Main: (halki si shararat) "Tumhara intezaar. Bas yahi toh kaam hai ab mere paas."
Aarush: (hans kar) "Har pal bas mere hi intezaar karti rahogi?
Main: "Jab tak tum mujhe lene nahi aate, tab tak. Yeh sab chhodo, ye batao—lunch hua?"
Aarush: "Haan, just abhi. But ek baat hai—main aapke haath ka khana bahut miss kar raha hoon. Yahan ka khana utna achha nahi lagta."
Main: (dil mein khushi) "Achha?"
Aarush: "Haan.
Main: "Baby, ek baat karni thi."
Tabhi mujhe Aarush ke pichhe se kisi ki awaaz aayi—ek ladki ki, halki si chhed khani bhari.
Ladki: "Aarush, bhabhi ke saath baat ho rahi hai kya? Hamara namaste bolna!"
Main thoda chaunk gayi. Dil mein ek khatak si hui.
Main: (thoda conk ho kar) " Aaaaa... Aarush, kaun hai?"
Aarush: " Office friend hai. Colleague. Bas mazaak kar rahi hai."
Main: (thoda ruk kar) "Hmmm."
Aarush: "Achha, kya baat kar rahi thi aap?"
Main: "Main ye keh rahi thi ki mujhe bahar ghumne jaane ka mann kar raha hai."
Aarush: "Toh jao na, maine kab mana kiya?"
Main: (thoda naraaz) "Babyyy... main puch nahi rahi hoon, bata rahi hoon."
Thodi der baad Aarush ne call rakh di. Main maa ka intezaar karte hue baith gayi. Maa aane ke baad unke saath khana khaya, phir kuch kaam se hum dono bahar chale gaye.
Hum dono chalte hue ja rahe the, baatein karte-karte. Raaste mein pedon ki chhaon thi, aur halki dhup thi jo shaam ki taraf jhuk rahi thi.
Maa: "Janvi, Aarush ne call kiya tha ki nahi?"
Main: "Haan Maa, dophar ko kiya tha."
Maa: "Kaisa chal raha hai uska? Theek toh hai na?
Main: (halki muskaan) "Wo bilkul theek hai Maa. Bas kehta hai mann nahi lagta akele. Ghar ka saara kaam kar liya hai, office mein bhi set ho raha hai."
Maa: "Ab wo bhi kya karega? Tune hi usse aadat laga di hai—kisi chhote bachche ki tarah. Kabhi apne se door hi nahi kiya toh ab wo akela kahan se reh lega?"
Main: "Wo abhi bhi mera chhotasa Aarush hi hai, Maa. Chahe wo kitna bhi bada ho gaya ho, mere liye wo wahi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, narmi se) "Har maa ke liye uske bachche chhote hi lagte hain. Jaise tujhe hi dekh—mere liye tu abhi bhi wo chhoti si Janvi hai jo mere paas aakar roti thi. Koi badal nahi sakta ye."
Kuch der baad hum wahan pahunch gaye. Kaam ye tha ki maine jo nayi saadiyaan li thi, unke kuch blouse silane the aur saadiyon mein embroidery bhi karwani thi. Sab karke hum ghar wapas aa gaye. Phir wahi ghar ka kaam, raat ka khana, TV serial dekhna, baby se baat karna, sone se pahle uske saath chatting karna, thoda rona uski yaad mein, phir so jaana.
2-3 din aise hi normally bit gaye. Ab bas 3 din hi baaki the—phir main Aarush ke paas chali jaungi. Ab aur intezaar nahi ho raha tha. Dil mein ek alag si bechaini thi, jaise koi mehmaan aane wala ho jiska main saalon se intezaar kar rahi hoon.
Aaj school mein chhuti hone ki wajah se Maa ghar par hi thi. Wo kuch kitchen mein nayi dish bana rahi thin. Main saare kaam nipta kar hall mein TV dekh rahi thi. Kuch samay baad mere phone par call aaya—Anjali ka tha.
Waise maine Anjali ko pehle hi sab bata diya tha—ki hum ye city chhod kar jaa rahe hain, ki Aarush ne Delhi mein job le li hai, aur ki main bhi wahi shift ho rahi hoon.
Anjali: "Main toh theek hoon. Tu bata, tu kaisi hai? Itne din baad baat kar rahe hain."
Main: "Main bhi badhiya hoon.aaj kese yaad aai
Anjali: (halki shikayat) "Ab kya karein? Tujhe toh tere bete ke siva kuch dikhta hi nahi. Toh humein bhi dekhna padega na tumhe, warna toh tu humein bhool hi jayegi."
Main: "Oyyyy! Ab tu toh aise mat bol. Tu toh jaanti hai na main kaisi hoon."
Anjali: (hans kar) " Hahhh... ye sab chhodo. Darsal baat ye hai ki hum yahan rishtedaar ki shaadi mein aaye the. Ab wapas jaate hue tumhare gaon ke paas se guzar rahe hain, toh socha tumse mil lun. Badi yaad aa rahi hai."
Fir main phone rakh kar Maa ke paas chali gayi. Khushi se mera chehra khil utha tha.
Main: (tezi se) "Maa! Anjali aa rahi hai milne! Uske husband aur bachche bhi saath hain!"
Maa: (hairan) "Aaj achanak? Kya baat hui?"
Main: "Wo Maa, Anjali kisi rishtedar ki shaadi mein aayi thi, toh bol rahi thi ki mil kar jaayegi. Wapas jaate waqt "
Maa: (muskurate hue) "Ye achha kiya usne. Fir main unke liye kuch khaana bhi bana deti hoon. Mehmaanon ke liye achha sa."
Main: "Theek hai Maa, main bhi madad kar deti hoon. Kya bana rahi ho?"
Maa: "Samosa, pakode, aur kuch mithai bhi. "
Fir hum dono milkar khana banane lage. Maa ne aata gundha, main ne aloo mash kiye.
Rasoi mein garam tel ki khushboo thi, aur baatein chal rahi thin—Anjali ki shadi, uske bachche, aur purani yaadein. Do ghante ka intezaar bhi mujhe teen ghante jaisa laga. Baar-baar khidki se bahar dekhti, gaadi ki awaaz sunte hi dil uchhal jaata.
Maa ne samose aur pakode bana liye the, chai ki taiyari bhi ho chuki thi.
Aakhir gaadi aangan mein aakar ruki. Main daudkar bahar gayi.
Anjali: (gaadi se utarte hi, mujhe dekhte hi) "Janvi!"
Main: (baahon mein bharte hue) "Anjali!"
Hum dono ek dusre se gale mil gaye—kaafi der tak, jaise itne dinon ki doori ek pal mein mit gayi ho. Anjali ke aansu bhi aa gaye, mere bhi. Peeche se Anjali ka pati gaadi se utra,
Anjali ka pati: "Namaste Janvi ji."
Main: "Namaste! Aap log aaye, bahut achha laga. Kab se wait kar rahi thi."
Gaadi ke pichhe se do chhote bachche bhi utre—dono neend mein thoda aankhen mal rahe the, safar ki thakaan se.
Anjali: (bachchon ki taraf dekhte hue) "Dekh bachche kitne thak gaye hain."
Jaise hi bachchon ne mujhe dekha, wo daudkar mere paas aa gaye. Chhoti si bachi ne mera haath pakad liya, aur bade ne meri sari ko dekha.
Main: (bachchi ko god mein utha kar) "Arre are, kitni thak gayi hai? Aunty ke paas aao."
Fir saare andar aaye, hall mein baith gaye. Maa ne chai-nashta laaya, bachchon ke liye biscuit aur juice bhi.
Maa: "Anjali beta, kaisi ho? Itne din baad dekha."
Main: (halki muskaan, thodi udaasi ke saath) "Haan, Delhi mein hai abhi. Naukri shuru ki hai. Ek mahina hone wala hai. Ab bas 3 din baaki hain, phir main bhi chali jaungi uske paas."
Anjali: (mera haath dabate hue) "Isiliye tu apni maa ke paas hai? Akela nahi reh paayi hogi wahan?"
Main: (gehri saans lete hue) "Haan, wahi baat hai. Bahut yaad aati hai uski. Par kya karein, career ke liye zaroori tha. Maa bhi nahi chhod paayi."
Anjali: "Samajh sakti hoon. Himmat rakh. Sab thik ho jayega. "
Janvi: "Tu bata, sab kuch kaise chal raha hai?
Anjali: (muskura kar) "Achha chal raha hai, Bhagwan ki kripa se. Bachche badhe ho rahe hain, ghar-parivaar sab theek hai."
Baatein karte-karte bachche mere paas aakar baith gaye. Chhoti ne mera haath pakad liya aur bada mere paas aakar khada ho gaya.
Main: (muskurate hue, uske baalon mein haath pherte hue) "Nahi beta, khilona toh nahi hai. Par chalo, main tumhe kahani sunaati hoon. Kaisi rahegi?"
Bachcha: (khushi se) "Haan! Kahani!"
Maine chhoti ko god mein bithaya, aur ek chhoti si kahani sunaayi—raja-rani aur ek magar ki kahani. Dusra bachcha bhi paas aakar baith gaya, dono dhyan se sun rahe the.
Maa: (dekh kar muskurate hue) "Janvi ko bachchon se bahut lagav hai."
Anjali:"Haan, ye toh hamesha se hi aisi hai. Iski god mein bachcha aate hi sukoon aa jaata hai."
Fir thodi der baad Maa ne sabke liye khaana laga diya—aagrah karke sabko khilaya.
Maa: "Aaram se khao, itni door se aaye ho, bhookhe kaise ja sakte ho? "
Anjali ka pati: (khana khaate hue,) "Aunty, bahut zabardast khaana hai. Bilkul ghar jaisa lag raha hai. Kya baat hai, aapke haath mein jaadu hai."
Anjali: (hasti hui) "Haan Aunty, same Janvi ke haath jaisa taste hai."
Khaana khaate-khaate bahut saari baatein hui—Anjali ke bachchon ki school ki baatein, unki padhai, Aarush ke baare mein, uski job ke baare mein.
Khana hone ke baad Anjali ka pati bachchon ko lekar bahar garden mein chala gaya—pedon ke neeche thoda ghoomne. Ghar ke andar Maa, Anjali aur main baith gayi, dheemi awaaz mein baatein karte hue.
Anjali: "Janvi... Pratap ki koi khabar? "
Main: "Uski khabar lekar main kya karungi, Anjali? Wo toh chala gaya meri life se.
Anjali: "Nahi, mera matlab hai ki kahin usne call karne ki koshish kuch ki? Tujhe pareshan toh nahi kar raha?"
Maa: (tezi se) "Nahi, aur agar kiya bhi toh main use chhodungi nahi. Kitni takleef di usne meri bachchi ko."
Meri aankhein bhar aayi. Fir ek baar sab yaad aane laga—woh raatein, woh jhagde, wo tanhai. Maine saadi ke pallu mein muh chhupa kar rone lagi. Maa aur Anjali mere paas aakar mujhe shant karne lagi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Main kese shant ho jaun Anju? Us insaan ne sab kuch barbaad kar diya mera! Kya bigada tha maine uska? Yahi na ki usse pyaar kar baithi? Usne toh mera trust, meri izzat, mera sab kuch chheen liya."
Maa: (mera haath sahlate hue) "Bas... bas Janvi, ro mat. Ab wo nahi hai zindagi mein. Tu ab nayi zindagi jee rahi hai. Aage dekh."
Anjali: "Haan Janvi, Ab tu apni nayi zindagi par dhyan de."
Fir kuch der baad maa kitchen mein chali gayi. Anjali mere aur kareeb aa kar baith gayi.
Anjali: "Janvi, tu Aarush ke saath khush hai na? "
Main: (ankhon mein aansu, lekin muskaan) "Anju, tujhe pata hai na wo kaisa hai? Wo mujhe koi takleef nahi hone deta. Phool ki tarah khayal rakhata hai mera. Uske bina toh main kuch nahi."
Anjali: "Kash tera pati bhi Aarush ki tarah hota. Teri zindagi kabhi aisi na hoti."
Main mann hi mann soch rahi thi—hai wo mera pati. Ab wo hai. Lekin ye main Anjali ko nahi bata sakti.
Maine Anjali ko gale lagaya, aur phir ek baar fut-fut kar rone lagi.
Main: (uske kandhe par sar rakh kar) "Bahut miss kar rahi hoon Anjali usse. 1 mahina dur rahi hoon usse, aur ab reha nahi jata usse door. Dil bahut bechain ho gaya hai.
Main: (Anjali se dur hokar apne aansu ponchte hue) "Agar Aarush nahi hota toh mera kya hota, Anju? Main toh mar hi jaati. Usi ne mujhe jeevan diya, phir se."
Anjali: (dat kar) "Aise nahi bolte. Jo hua, achhe ke liye hua. Ab tu khush hai na? To bas
Main: "Mera Aarush hai isliye bas jinda hoon. Uske bina toh main kahin ki nahi."
Fir Maa bhi aa gayi. Ab waqt ho chuka tha—Anjali ne ghadi dekhi.
Anjali: (uth kar, thoda udaas) "Janvi, ab humein nikalna hoga. Raat hone se pehle ghar pahunch na hai, bachchon ke liye bhi theek rahega."
Main: "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh aayi thi tu. Baat karte-karte waqt ka pata nahi chala."
Anjali: "Kya karoon, safar lamba hai. Par promise karti hoon—jaldi phir milenge. Ya tu aa jaana hamare ghar."
Main: (muskura kar) "Zaroor aaungi. Aarush ko lekar. Tab tak apna khayal rakh."
Sab bahar aaye, gaadi tak chhodne. Bachchon ne mujhe gale lagaya—chhote se haathon se.
Gaadi dheere-dheere aage badhi—dhool udati sadak par. Main wahin khadi rahi, jab tak gaadi mod par ghoom kar aankhon se ojhal nahi ho gayi.Anjali se milkar khush bhi thi, aur uske bhare-poore parivaar ko dekh kar Aarush ki yaad bhi aur zyada aa rahi thi.
Fir hum dono ghar ke andar aa gaye. Maa TV dekhne baith gayi, aur main phone nikaal kar Aarush ko call karne lagi—ye sochte hue ki ab tak toh office se aa gaya hoga.
Ek baar call kiya, toh usne uthaya nahi. Maine firse kiya, toh bhi uthaya nahi.
Main: (apne aap se, thoda naraaz) "Oohhfoooo! Ye ladka bhi na... aaj kal phone uthana bhool gaya hai."
Maa: (TV se nazar hata kar) "Kya hua Janvi? Kya baat hai?"
Main: "Maa, Aarush call nahi utha raha. Pata nahi kya kar raha hai."
Maa: "Ghar aata hoga, aaega toh karega. Tu chinta mat kar.
Main: "Hmm..."
Kuch der tak hum dono TV dekhte rahe, par mera mann hai ki kahin lag hi nahi raha tha. Main wahi sofe par pichhe sar rakh kar aankhen band kar ke baith gayi.
Aankhen band hote hi mujhe wo pal yaad aane lage jo kuch din pahle maine Aarush ke saath hotel mein bitaye the. Kitna hasin tha sab kuch. Mera Aarush mere paas tha, meri baahon mein. Uski baatein, uski hansi, uske badan ka sparsh—mujhe sab yaad aane laga.
Aankhon se ek boond aansu nikal kar niche gir gaya.
Soch rahi thi— kab aayega? Kab main uske saath rahungi? Kab uski baahon mein chain ki neend soo paungi? Soch soch kar dil aur bechain ho raha tha.
Aankhein band thi meri. Saamne TV chal raha hai—Maa kisi purane serial mein khoyi hui hain, jisme koi ro raha hai kisi rishte ke toot jaane par. Aur main sochti hoon, kitna ajeeb hai na—TV ke andar ka dukh bhi kabhi-kabhi asli dukh se zyada sachcha lagta hai. Awaaz bahut halki hai, bas ek dhundhla sa shor, jo mujh tak pahunchta toh hai, par andar tak nahi utarta. Kyunki andar se main kahin aur hoon.
Dimaag ek film ki tarah chal raha hai—bina mere bulaye. Sabse pehle wo din yaad aata hai jab main dulhan bani thi—laal jode mein, haathon mein mehendi, aankhon mein sapne. Us waqt lagta tha zindagi bas yahin se shuru hoti hai—asli khushi, asli ghar, asli apna koi. Kitni bholi thi main, ya shayad kitni umeed se bhari.
Phir yaadein dheere-dheere rang badalne lagti hain. Wo shuruaati saal jab hum dono raat ko chhat par baith kar baatein karte the, chhoti-chhoti cheezon par hansi aati thi—kisi film ka dialogue, kisi rishtedar ka kissa. Us waqt lagta tha ye hansi kabhi khatam nahi hogi.
Par khatam ho gayi.
Kab shuru hui thi doori, mujhe theek se yaad bhi nahi. Bas itna yaad hai ki ek din maine notice kiya ki wo mujhse baat karte waqt phone dekhta rehta hai. Phir wo raatein jab main intezaar karti reh jaati thi—khana table par thanda hota rehta, aur main sofe par baithi rehti, bilkul aise hi jaise abhi baithi hoon—aankhein khuli par kuch dekh nahi rahi hoti thi.
Maine khud ko kitni baar samjhaya—"sab theek ho jayega." Kitna bada jhooth tha ye, jo maine sabse zyada khud se bola.
Phir wo din aaya jab sab saaf ho gaya. Kisi aur ladki ka naam, koi aur muskaan jo shayad kabhi meri hua karti thi. Ajeeb baat hai—jab sach saamne aaya, toh na gussa aaya, na chillayi main, na roi. Bas ek khaalipan sa fail gaya seene mein—jaise koi kamra ho jise achanak khaali kar diya gaya ho, saara saaman ek raat mein gayab.
Log kehte hain divorce ke baad zindagi ruk jaati hai. Par sach ye hai ki meri zindagi ne mujhe rukne hi nahi diya—kyunki ek haath tha jo mera intezaar kar raha tha.
Aarush....
Uska naam zehen mein aate hi kuch andar se pighalta hai. Jab main sabse zyada toot rahi thi, tab wahi ek chehra tha jo mujhe seedha khada rakhta tha. Yaad hai mujhe, jab wo chhota sa tha, meri ungli pakad kar chalna seekhta tha—girta tha, phir uthta tha, aur mujhe dekh kar hansta tha jaise keh raha ho "dekha Maa, main theek hoon."
Aaj wahi ladka bada ho gaya hai. Itna bada ki ab wahi mujhe sambhalta hai. Jab maine usse divorce ke baare mein bataya tha, uski aankhon mein gussa nahi tha, dukh bhi nahi—bas ek sthirta thi, jaise wo pehle se jaanta ho ki usse mujhe sambhalna hai. Usne bas mera haath pakda tha aur kaha tha—"Maa, ab main hoon na."
Kitni simple si baat thi, par us waqt lagi jaise kisi ne meri toot chuki duniya wapas jod di ho.
Wo mujhse pyaar karta hai—aisa pyaar jisme koi shart nahi, koi maang nahi. Har roz call karta hai, chhoti-chhoti baatein poochta hai—"khana khaya? dawai li? theek se so rahi ho na?" Jaise koi beta nahi, balki koi mera rakhwala ho, jo mujhe phool ki tarah sambhalta hai, dhyan se, pyaar se, jaise main koi keemti cheez hoon jise tootane nahi deta .
Kabhi-kabhi sochti hoon—jo pyaar mujhe ek rishte mein khojna tha aur nahi mila, wo saara pyaar mujhe mere bete ne, bina maange, khud-ba-khud de diya.
Kuch din baad wo mujhe lene aayega. Sochte hi honthon par ek halki si muskaan aa jaati hai, jo maine khud bhi notice nahi ki kab aa gayi.
Maa abhi bhi TV dekh rahi hain—unhe shayad pata bhi nahi ki main yahan baithi hoon par kahin aur hoon. Main unki taraf dekhti hoon—unke chehre par bhi waqt ki lakeerein hain, unhone bhi apni zindagi mein na jaane kitne tootne-jodne dekhe honge. Shayad isiliye wo kuch poochti nahi, bas apni jagah baithi rehti hain—jaise unki khamoshi hi unka saath dene ka tareeqa ho.
Aankhein khol kar main ek lambi saans leti hoon. Bahar shaam dhalne lagi hai, khidki se halki narangi roshni kamre mein aa rahi hai. Shayad zindagi ne mujhse sab kuch nahi cheena. Kuch cheen kar, usne mujhe wo de diya jo shayad sabse zyada zaroori tha—ek beta jo mujhse utna hi pyaar karta hai, jitna main kabhi kisi se ummeed kar sakti thi.
Aur abhi, is pal, bas itna kaafi hai.
Sofe par baithi apni hi soch mein, main kab so gayi pata hi nahi chala. Mobile mere haath se fisal kar sofe par gir gaya. Raat ke 8 baj chuke the. Aarush ka phone aa kar gaya tha—Maa ne usse baat ki thi, aur main so rahi thi toh unhone mujhe nahi jagaya.
Phir kuch der baad kukur ki sieti se meri neend toot gayi. Ghadi ki taraf dekha toh 9 baj rahe the. Maine fatafat phone uthaya aur Aarush ko call laga di.
Call
Main: (neend se uthti hui, or baat karte huwe bedroom main chali gai ) "Hello baby?"
Aarush: "Mom, aap uth gayi?"
Main: "Tumhe kaise pata ki main so rahi thi?"
Aarush: "Kuch der pehle maine call kiya tha toh Nani se baat ho gayi thi. Unhone bataya ki aap so rahi hain. Toh maine socha, aapko jagana nahi chaahiye."
Main: "Hmm... ye batao, jab main tumhe call kar rahi thi, kyun nahi utha rahe the?"
Aarush: "Phone silent par tha, Mom. Aur main bas ghar hi aa raha tha. Car mein tha, toh sunai nahi diya."
Main: "Hmm... pata hai aaj Anjali aayi thi—apne family ke saat."
Main: "Main toh thik hi hoon baby. Bas tumhari bahut yaad aa rahi hai. "
Aarush: "Pata hai.... Mom main badmein baat karun? Mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kuch files dekhni hain."
Main: "Theek hai. Par haan, khana kha lena time par."
Aarush: "Haan. Love you, Mom. Goodnight."
Main: "Love you too, Aarush. Bye."
Phone cut karte hi main phone apne seene se laga kar let gayi. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi—uski awaaz thodi badli lag rahi thi. Kya ho sakta hai ? uski aawaj to pahle aisi nahi thi....
Ab dekhte hi dekhte din nikal gaye,Do din baad Aarush wapas aane wala tha, aur is baat se dil mein ajeeb si khushi thi. Par pichle do dinon se kuch ajeeb sa lag raha tha—Aarush ki calls chhoti ho gayi thin, messages bhi kam aa rahe the, aur jab baat hoti bhi thi, uski awaaz mein pehle jaisi wo garmi, wo excitement nahi thi. Jaise koi door ho raha ho, jaise koi wall ban rahi ho mere aur uske beech.
Raat ke das baje maine call kiya. Dil dhadak raha tha, na jaane kyun.
Main: "Baby, kaisa raha aaj din?"
Aarush: (halki, thakan bhari awaaz mein, jaise kuch chhupa raha ho) "Theek tha, Mom... bas thoda busy raha. Kaam bahut tha."
Main: "Khaana khaya? Time se?"
Aarush: "Haan khaya... Mom suno na, mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kal baat karte hain, okay?"
Main: (thoda hairan ho gai ) "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh baat shuru hi hui thi. Tumhari awaaz kuch ajeeb lag rahi hai."
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, sach mein bahut kaam hai. Aur thoda tired bhi hoon. Good night."
Phone kat gaya, aur main wahin baithi rah gayi—phone haath mein liye, uski awaaz mein jo ajeeb sa tuta-tuta pan tha wo dimaag mein ghoomta raha. Kya baat hai? Kyun aisa kar raha hai? Maine socha, shayad main hi zyada soch rahi hoon. Par dil nahi maan raha tha.
Agli raat toh aur bhi ajeeb rahi. Maine teen baar call kiya—do baar toh phone hi nahi utha. Teesri baar uthaya toh bhi awaaz mein wahi thakan, wahi jaldi khatam karne ki koshish.
Main: (thoda gussa aur pareshan) "Aarush, kya baat hai? Do din se tum kuch chhupa rahe ho mujhse.
Aarush: "Kuch nahi chhupa raha Mom, bas office mein thoda extra pressure hai. New project hai, isliye thak jaata hoon."
Main: "Par tumhari awaaz mein kuch aur hi lag raha hai. Sach batao, sab theek hai na? Tum mujhse jhooth toh nahi bol rahe?"
Aarush: "Haan Mom, sab theek hai. Aap fikar mat karo."
Main: "Tum pagal ho gaye ho! 'Fikar mat karo'? Fikar kaise na karoon? Tum roz raat ko itni der tak baat karte the, ab do minute mein hi call kaatne lagte ho. Kuch toh hai jo tum bata nahi rahe. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe pata hona chahiye.
Aarush: "Mom... bas thoda tired hoon. Itni si baat hai. Kal baat karte hain."
Main: (thoda ruk kar, dard se) "Theek hai... good night."
Maine phone rakh diya, par mann bilkul shaant nahi tha. Andar hi andar ek ajeeb sa gussa aur uljhan mehsoos ho rahi thi. Us raat neend nahi aayi. Baar-baar wahi khayal aata raha—kya baat hai jo Aarush chhupa raha hai? Kahin office mein koi problem toh nahi? Ya... koi aur wajah hai?
Aurat ka dil hai, thoda shak toh aa hi jaata hai. Kahin aisa toh nahi ki wahan koi naya dost ban gai ho, jisse baat karne mein zyada time nikal jaata ho, aur mujhse baat karne ka mann hi na kare? Ye khayal aate hi khud par gussa aaya—Janvi, aisa kaise soch sakti ho tum Aarush ke baare mein? Lekin dil toh dil hai, usko kaun samjhaaye?
Mujhe kuch bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun. Bahut tension aur sawaalon ne mujhe gher liya tha. Raat bhar kab tak aise hi jagti rahi, pata nahi chala. Aankhen khuli thin, par sapne Aarush ke hi the.
Subah main uth gayi. Maa ke saath chai-nashta bana liya, uske baad Maa ke saath baith gayi. Nashte ki table pe Maa ne mera udaas chehra dekha.
Maa: "Kya hua Janvi? Chehra kyun latka hua hai? Kal se kuch khaas nahi bol rahi."
Main: "Kuch nahi Maa... bas Aarush do dinon se ajeeb behave kar raha hai. Thik se baat nahi karta, jaldi phone kaat deta hai. Jaise kuch chhupa raha ho."
Maa: "Kaam ka pressure hoga beta, itna sochne ki kya zaroorat? Naye city mein naye kaam mein time lagta hai."
Main: "Maa, mujhe lagta hai wo kuch chhupa raha hai mujhse. Pehle toh kabhi aisa nahi karta tha.
Maa: (mera haath pakad kar) "Janvi, aisa kuch nahi hoga. Bas tu uske baare mein zyada sochti hai na, isliye tere mann mein aise vichar aate hain. Aur agar wo kuch nahi bata raha, toh zaroor koi wajah hogi. Bina jaane shak karna theek nahi."
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Par Maa, dil hi nahi maanta. Aise lagta hai jaise kuch chhupaya ja raha hai mujhse. Aur main kuch kar nahi sakti."
Maa: "Sabr rakh beta, do hi din baaki hain na? Khud aake bata dega jo bhi baat hai. Tab tak tu apna khayal rakh."
Maa se baat karte-karte thoda nashta kar liya—waise toh kuch bhi khane-pine ka mann nahi kar raha tha. Bas Aarush ke hi khayal aa rahe the. Main apne aap ko kaamon mein uljhaaye rakhti, taaki na sochu. Par har cheez uski yaad dilaati thi.
Us shaam maine Aarush ko phir se call kiya. Aur is baar Aarush ki awaaz aur bhi kamzor lagi—jaise thakan se zyada, kuch aur bhi ho. Jaise wo bolna nahi chahta, par bol raha hai. Mujhe ab aur sehan nahi hua, aur bahut gussa bhi aane laga—ki ye ladka mujhse kya chhupa raha hai?
Uske call uthate hi main use daantna shuru kar di.
Call
Main: (tez awaaz mein, gussa aur dard dono) "Aarush, ab bas! Sach batao kya baat hai. Main pareshan ho rahi hoon. Do din se mujhe neend nahi aa rahi."
Aarush: "Mom, kuch nahi hai, please... aap shant ho jao."
Main: (awaaz mein gussa aur dard dono, thodi tez rote huwe ) "Nahi Aarush, ye theek nahi hai. Do din se tum mujhse seedhe munh baat nahi kar rahe, jaldi phone kaat dete ho, awaaz mein wo pehli jaisi baat nahi hai. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe haq hai jaanne ka ki tumhare saath kya ho raha hai. Mujhe ab aur pareshan mat karo! "
Ye keh kar main fut-fut kar rone lagi—nahi ho raha tha ab mujhse sehan kuch bhi. Ek toh itni door hai ki main ja bhi nahi sakti uske paas, warna ek khich kar thappad laga deti toh bolta. Par main yahan hoon, aur wo wahan, aur ye doori mujhe maar rahi hai.
Aarush chup rehta hai kuch pal. Sirf uski saans sunai de rahi thi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Kya baat hai Aarush? Kya main itni kamzor lagti hoon tumhe ki tum mujhse sach nahi bata sakte? Ya phir koi aur wajah hai jisse tum baat nahi karna chahte mujhse?"
Ye kehte hue mera gala bhar aaya, aankhon mein aansu aa gaye—mixed feelings the, gussa bhi, dukh bhi, aur ye dar bhi ki kahin sach mein kuch aisa na ho jo humare rishton ko badal de.
Aarush: (aakhir mein, thaki aur bhari awaaz mein wo bolne lga ) "Mom... sach batata hoon, bas please pareshan mat hona. Aur rona toh bilkul nahi."
Main: (dil zor se dhadakne laga, awaaz kaanp rahi thi) "Baby, ab batao na please... main aur nahi sehan kar sakti."
Aarush: (gehri saans lete hue) "Mujhe halka bukhaar hai, do din se. Kaam ka pressure bhi hai, isliye thakan zyada mehsoos ho rahi hai. Maine socha aapko nahi bataunga, kyunki agar bataata toh aap aur pareshan ho jaati. Aur aapke paas aana mumkin nahi tha mere liye, toh sirf aapko tension dena theek nahi laga. Maine socha chhupa kar rakhta hoon, theek ho jaunga."
Ye sunte hi meri aankhon se aansu bahne lage—gussa aur pyaar dono ek saath umad aaye.
Main: (rote hue) "Aarush! Tu... tumne mujhe kyun nahi bataya? Main tumhari maa hoon na, mujhe jaanne ka haq hai jab tum bimaar ho, tab bhi! Isse zyada bura kya lagega mujhe ki tum mujhse aisi baatein chhupao?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom. Maine socha aapki fikr kam karne ke liye chhupa raha, par ulta aapko aur pareshan kar diya."
Main: (aansu ponchte hue) "Haan kiya! Do din se main sochti rahi ki pata nahi kya baat hai, mann mein tarah-tarah ke khayal aa rahe the..." (ruk gayi, thoda sharminda hokar)
Aarush: "Kaise khayal?"
Main: (halki awaaz mein, sharminda hote hue) "Kuch nahi... bas... dar lag raha tha kahin kuch aur baat toh nahi. Kahin tum mujhse dur toh nahi ho rahe."
Aarush: "Mom, aisa kabhi mat sochna. Mere dil mein sirf aap ho, aur hamesha rahogi. Bas aapki fikr mein galti kar baitha, ye baat chhupa ke. Main aapko kabhi chhod nahi sakta."
Main: (dat kar, par pyaar se) "Aainda kabhi aisa mat karna Aarush. Chahe kitni bhi chhoti baat ho, mujhe batana. Hum saath hain na, toh dukh-sukh dono share karna chahiye, sirf khushiyan nahi. Hamne is baare mein pahle bhi baat ki thi na, tum bhool gaye?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, aainda kabhi nahi chhupaunga kuch. Promise."
Main: (thoda shaant hokar) "Hmm... ab batao, dawai li? Bukhaar kitna hai abhi?"
Aarush: "Li hai, ab thoda kam hai. Do din mein theek ho jaunga, aap chinta mat karo.
Main: "Kaise na karoon chinta? Tum wahan akele ho, koi dekhne wala bhi nahi... kya karoge agar bukhaar badh gaya to?"
Aarush: (halka sa haskar) "Main theek hoon Mom. Bas do din aur, phir toh aap hongi hi na mere paas—mera khayal rakhne ke liye."
Mera gussa dheere-dheere pighalne laga, par dil mein ek sukoon bhi tha—ki sach jaanke, chahe wo bimaar hone ki hi khabar kyun na ho, kam se kam uljhan toh khatam ho gayi thi. Ab main jaanti hoon ki wo mujhse door nahi ho raha, bas bimaar hai.
Main: "Achha theek hai... par ab se roz batana kaisa mehsoos kar rahe ho. Koi baat chhupaoge nahi. Samjhe?"
Aarush: "Nahi chhupaunga. Sorry phir se, aapko pareshan kiya isliye."
Main: (thoda hans kar) "Chalo maaf kiya, is baar ke liye. Par agli baar aisi galti hui na, toh main khud aake tumhari khabar loongi! Samjhe tum?"
Aarush halka sa hasa—uski awaaz mein pehli baar us din thodi rahat mehsoos hui.
Aarush: "Achha baba, promise karta hoon aisi koi galti nahi hogi. Ab aap shant ho jao."
Main: "Hmm... ab so jao, aaram karo. Kal phir baat karenge."
Aarush: "Theek hai. Good night. Love you, Mom."
Main: "Love you too. Jaldi theek ho jao, do din baad aana hai na."
Phone rakhte hi maine ek gehri saans li—jo do dinon ka bojh seene pe tha, wo halka ho gaya tha. Par saath hi ek naya seekh bhi mila tha—
pyaar mein chhupana chahe kitni bhi achhi niyat se ho, dard hi deta hai.
Sach, chahe kaisa bhi ho,
sunna aasan hota hai jhoothi khaamoshi se.
Call rakh kar main Maa ke paas chali gayi. Maa khane ke liye plates laga rahi thin. Fir hum dono khana khane baith gaye.
Ye sunte hi Maa ne apne haath mein se nivala neeche rakh diya—wo achanak thodi ghabra gayin.
Maa: "Are Bap re! Kya hua usse?
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Bukhaar hai, 2-3 din se.
Maa: (thoda ruk kar) "2-3 din se? Achha... ab samjhi ki wo tujhse baat kyun nahi kar raha tha. Apni bimari chhupa raha tha."
Meri aankh se aansu aa gaye. Maine saadi ke pallu se apne aansu ponchne ki koshish ki, par wo rukte nahi the.
Main: "Dekha na Maa Aapne kaisa karta hai wo. Mujhase chhupa kar rakhta hai taaki main pareshan na ho. Lekin wo nahi jaanta ki uska ye chhupana mujhe aur zyada pareshan kar deta hai."
Maa: "Hmm... ab kaisa hai wo? ruk...pehle main zara usse baat karun. Mujhe khana nahi khaya jayega."
Main: (Maa ko rok kar) "Nahi Maa, aap ab subah hi baat kar lena usse. Maine use dawai lekar sone ke liye bol diya hai. Ab wo aaram kar raha hoga."
Maa: "Theek toh hai na wo? Bukhaar kitna hai?"
Main: "Hmm, ab thoda bukhaar utar gaya hai. Usne kaha kal tak theek ho jayega."
Maa: "Mujhe na is ladke ka kuch samajh hi nahi aata.
Main: (halki muskaan) "Hai na... wo aisa hi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, thoda dat kar) "Aur tu bhi kuch kam nahi hai. Dono ek jaise ho—ek doosre ki fikr mein pagal."
Ye keh kar Maa thodi hansi, aur unke saath main bhi thodi hansne lagi. Halka sa mahaul halka ho gaya.
Fir khana kha kar saare kaam nipta kar hum sone chale gaye. Bedroom mein jaate hi maine light off kar di aur mobile mein Aarush ki photo nikali. Use dekhte hue bed par let gayi—zoom kar-kar kar uski aankhon mein dekhne lagi, jaise us image ko apne seene mein utaar lena chahti hoon.
Phone ko apne seene se laga kar, aankhen band kar ke, pure dil se Aarush ko pukarne lagi—kash, kash mera Aarush mere dil ki baat is waqt sun leta. Par tabhi maine mehsoos kiya ki jaise Aarush mere side mein hi leta hai. Maine aankhen band kiye hue uski taraf palat gayi.
Main: (dheemi, bhaari awaaz mein) "Baby... kya tum sach mein mere paas ho?"
Aarush: (sapne mein, jaise uski awaaz) "Haan Jaan, tum bulati ho toh aaunga hi na. Main kahan ja sakta hoon tumse door?"
Main: "To kya khud pareshan hote rahoge? Main tumhari maa hoon,
Aarush: "Khud pareshan hona chalega mujhe. Par tum pareshan ho—ye nahi chalega. Tum meri Jaan ho, meri zindagi ho. Tumhare bina main kya?"
Main: (rote hue) "Babyyy... "
Aarush: "Kya tum ab bhi rogi? Tum apna rona kab band karogi, Janvi?"
Main: "Jab tum hamesha mere paas rahoge. Jab mujhe kabhi akela nahi chhodoge."
Aarush: "Achha..."
Main: "Hmm..."
Ab ye sab baatein aur Aarush ka ye ehsaas, ye sab mujhe neend mein feel ho raha tha. Main sapno mein chali gayi thi—ek aisa sapna jo mujhe sach lag raha tha.
Maine mehsoos kiya ki Aarush mere aur paas aaya—bilkul paas. Meri kamr mein haath daal kar usne mujhe apni taraf kheench liya. Mere honthon ko chumne laga—pyaar se, dheere-dheere, jaise main koi naazuk cheez hoon.
Main neend mein wo sab feel karne lagi—neend mein uske saath baatein karte hue moan karne lagi. Bed par chatpatane lagi, jaise uska sparsh mere body ko chhu raha ho.
Aarush ne dhire se meri nighty ko upar utthaya—nighty sarkte hue meri kamar tak aa gayi. Ab main bed par neeche se nangi thi, bas ek chhoti si panty ne meri chut ko chhupa ke rakha tha, jo ab dhire-dhire wet hone lagi thi. Aarush ne nighty ke andar haath daal kar mere boobs pakad liye aur unhe dabane laga.
Main: (neend mein karahate hue) "Ahhhhhhh... baby, mat karo na aisa... ammmm... ahhhhhhh..."
Usne mere boobs ko apne muh mein bhar liya aur chusne laga, haathon se dabane laga.
Main bas bed par aadhi nangi padi rahi aur neend mein ye sab feel karne lagi. Mere haath boobs par the—main khud hi boobs daba rahi thi. Lekin aise feel ho raha tha jaise Aarush hi kar raha ho sab. Jaise uska haath mera haath ho gaya ho.
Phir maine mehsoos kiya ki uska ek haath neeche jane laga—mere pet ko chhookar dhire se meri panty tak pahunch gaya.
Main: (neend mein, hichki ke saath) "Ammmm... ahhhhhh... babyyy... why did you keep me away from you..."
Mera haath meri chut par chala gaya—panty ke upar se hi chut ko sehlane lagi, chut ko dabane lagi.
Main: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Aisa laga jaise usne meri panty neeche sarka di. Meri ek tang utha kar apne upar rakh di aur sidhe chut par haath rakh kar usse sehlane laga. Maine use apni baahon mein kas liya.
Main tez-tez saansein lene lagi. Neend se jakar baith gayi—apne aap ko dekhne lagi. Phir chut ko dekha toh mujhe samajh aaya ki ye sab ek sapna tha. Aarush mera saath nahi tha.
Main bed se neeche utar kar washroom chali gayi. Khud ko saaf kiya, thande paani se chehra dhoya. Fir wapas bed par aakar let gayi. Ab neend bhi toot gayi thi.
Apne mobile par time dekha—raat ke 1 baj rahe the. Phir apni soch mein Aarush se baatein karne lagi.
Main: (khud se, halki hansi ke saath) "Dekha baby kya halat ho gayi hai meri? Main na pagal ho gayi hoon tumhari yaad mein."
(Thodi der soch kar, khud hi hasne lagi jo abhi hua wo soch kar)
"Ye sab tumhari wajah se ho raha hai. Tum jaldi aa jao mere paas. Aur dekhna, abse na main tumhe kabhi apne se dur nahi hone dungi. Tum kahi nahi jaoge mujhe chhod kar."Next time agar tumhe kuch aisa karna ho na mere saath—mujhe dur rakhna ho—toh pahle mujhe mar jane do, phir dur chale jana. Main nahi reh sakti tumhare siva. Tum samajhte kyun nahi ho? Hmmmm?"(Aankhen band kar ke, thoda narm hokar)
"You so bad, Aarush. Sooo bad."......
Aisi soch mein kab aankh lagi, pata hi nahi chala. Aur neend bhi aisi thi, jaise usi ke sapno mein chali gayi—jaise wo mere paas ho, jaise main uski baahon mein hun.
To Aarush raat ko Delhi pahunch gaya tha, aur subah uth kar office bhi chala gaya tha. Par main abhi tak so rahi thi,Aarush ke saath kal sex thoda zyada hi ho gaya tha. Meri body abhi bhi uski yaad mein thi, thodi thakaan si ho rahi thi. Maa ne mujhe nahi jagaya tha.
Dekhte hi dekhte 1 week aise hi nikal gaya. Aarush har roz office jaata tha, time nikaal kar mujhse baat karta tha. Ghar ka kaam bhi lagbhag pura ho chuka tha—sab saaman achhe se usne laga diya tha, har cheez apni jagah par, jaise wo chahta tha ki jab main aaun toh mujhe koi pareshani na ho.
Dophar ka time tha. Aarush lunch karke just abhi free hua tha, toh usne mujhe call lagaya.
Call
Main: (phone utha kar, khushi se) "Hi baby!"
Aarush: "Hii, kya kar rahi ho?"
Main: (halki si shararat) "Tumhara intezaar. Bas yahi toh kaam hai ab mere paas."
Aarush: (hans kar) "Har pal bas mere hi intezaar karti rahogi?
Main: "Jab tak tum mujhe lene nahi aate, tab tak. Yeh sab chhodo, ye batao—lunch hua?"
Aarush: "Haan, just abhi. But ek baat hai—main aapke haath ka khana bahut miss kar raha hoon. Yahan ka khana utna achha nahi lagta."
Main: (dil mein khushi) "Achha?"
Aarush: "Haan.
Main: "Baby, ek baat karni thi."
Tabhi mujhe Aarush ke pichhe se kisi ki awaaz aayi—ek ladki ki, halki si chhed khani bhari.
Ladki: "Aarush, bhabhi ke saath baat ho rahi hai kya? Hamara namaste bolna!"
Main thoda chaunk gayi. Dil mein ek khatak si hui.
Main: (thoda conk ho kar) " Aaaaa... Aarush, kaun hai?"
Aarush: " Office friend hai. Colleague. Bas mazaak kar rahi hai."
Main: (thoda ruk kar) "Hmmm."
Aarush: "Achha, kya baat kar rahi thi aap?"
Main: "Main ye keh rahi thi ki mujhe bahar ghumne jaane ka mann kar raha hai."
Aarush: "Toh jao na, maine kab mana kiya?"
Main: (thoda naraaz) "Babyyy... main puch nahi rahi hoon, bata rahi hoon."
Thodi der baad Aarush ne call rakh di. Main maa ka intezaar karte hue baith gayi. Maa aane ke baad unke saath khana khaya, phir kuch kaam se hum dono bahar chale gaye.
Hum dono chalte hue ja rahe the, baatein karte-karte. Raaste mein pedon ki chhaon thi, aur halki dhup thi jo shaam ki taraf jhuk rahi thi.
Maa: "Janvi, Aarush ne call kiya tha ki nahi?"
Main: "Haan Maa, dophar ko kiya tha."
Maa: "Kaisa chal raha hai uska? Theek toh hai na?
Main: (halki muskaan) "Wo bilkul theek hai Maa. Bas kehta hai mann nahi lagta akele. Ghar ka saara kaam kar liya hai, office mein bhi set ho raha hai."
Maa: "Ab wo bhi kya karega? Tune hi usse aadat laga di hai—kisi chhote bachche ki tarah. Kabhi apne se door hi nahi kiya toh ab wo akela kahan se reh lega?"
Main: "Wo abhi bhi mera chhotasa Aarush hi hai, Maa. Chahe wo kitna bhi bada ho gaya ho, mere liye wo wahi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, narmi se) "Har maa ke liye uske bachche chhote hi lagte hain. Jaise tujhe hi dekh—mere liye tu abhi bhi wo chhoti si Janvi hai jo mere paas aakar roti thi. Koi badal nahi sakta ye."
Kuch der baad hum wahan pahunch gaye. Kaam ye tha ki maine jo nayi saadiyaan li thi, unke kuch blouse silane the aur saadiyon mein embroidery bhi karwani thi. Sab karke hum ghar wapas aa gaye. Phir wahi ghar ka kaam, raat ka khana, TV serial dekhna, baby se baat karna, sone se pahle uske saath chatting karna, thoda rona uski yaad mein, phir so jaana.
2-3 din aise hi normally bit gaye. Ab bas 3 din hi baaki the—phir main Aarush ke paas chali jaungi. Ab aur intezaar nahi ho raha tha. Dil mein ek alag si bechaini thi, jaise koi mehmaan aane wala ho jiska main saalon se intezaar kar rahi hoon.
Aaj school mein chhuti hone ki wajah se Maa ghar par hi thi. Wo kuch kitchen mein nayi dish bana rahi thin. Main saare kaam nipta kar hall mein TV dekh rahi thi. Kuch samay baad mere phone par call aaya—Anjali ka tha.
Waise maine Anjali ko pehle hi sab bata diya tha—ki hum ye city chhod kar jaa rahe hain, ki Aarush ne Delhi mein job le li hai, aur ki main bhi wahi shift ho rahi hoon.
Anjali: "Main toh theek hoon. Tu bata, tu kaisi hai? Itne din baad baat kar rahe hain."
Main: "Main bhi badhiya hoon.aaj kese yaad aai
Anjali: (halki shikayat) "Ab kya karein? Tujhe toh tere bete ke siva kuch dikhta hi nahi. Toh humein bhi dekhna padega na tumhe, warna toh tu humein bhool hi jayegi."
Main: "Oyyyy! Ab tu toh aise mat bol. Tu toh jaanti hai na main kaisi hoon."
Anjali: (hans kar) " Hahhh... ye sab chhodo. Darsal baat ye hai ki hum yahan rishtedaar ki shaadi mein aaye the. Ab wapas jaate hue tumhare gaon ke paas se guzar rahe hain, toh socha tumse mil lun. Badi yaad aa rahi hai."
Fir main phone rakh kar Maa ke paas chali gayi. Khushi se mera chehra khil utha tha.
Main: (tezi se) "Maa! Anjali aa rahi hai milne! Uske husband aur bachche bhi saath hain!"
Maa: (hairan) "Aaj achanak? Kya baat hui?"
Main: "Wo Maa, Anjali kisi rishtedar ki shaadi mein aayi thi, toh bol rahi thi ki mil kar jaayegi. Wapas jaate waqt "
Maa: (muskurate hue) "Ye achha kiya usne. Fir main unke liye kuch khaana bhi bana deti hoon. Mehmaanon ke liye achha sa."
Main: "Theek hai Maa, main bhi madad kar deti hoon. Kya bana rahi ho?"
Maa: "Samosa, pakode, aur kuch mithai bhi. "
Fir hum dono milkar khana banane lage. Maa ne aata gundha, main ne aloo mash kiye.
Rasoi mein garam tel ki khushboo thi, aur baatein chal rahi thin—Anjali ki shadi, uske bachche, aur purani yaadein. Do ghante ka intezaar bhi mujhe teen ghante jaisa laga. Baar-baar khidki se bahar dekhti, gaadi ki awaaz sunte hi dil uchhal jaata.
Maa ne samose aur pakode bana liye the, chai ki taiyari bhi ho chuki thi.
Aakhir gaadi aangan mein aakar ruki. Main daudkar bahar gayi.
Anjali: (gaadi se utarte hi, mujhe dekhte hi) "Janvi!"
Main: (baahon mein bharte hue) "Anjali!"
Hum dono ek dusre se gale mil gaye—kaafi der tak, jaise itne dinon ki doori ek pal mein mit gayi ho. Anjali ke aansu bhi aa gaye, mere bhi. Peeche se Anjali ka pati gaadi se utra,
Anjali ka pati: "Namaste Janvi ji."
Main: "Namaste! Aap log aaye, bahut achha laga. Kab se wait kar rahi thi."
Gaadi ke pichhe se do chhote bachche bhi utre—dono neend mein thoda aankhen mal rahe the, safar ki thakaan se.
Anjali: (bachchon ki taraf dekhte hue) "Dekh bachche kitne thak gaye hain."
Jaise hi bachchon ne mujhe dekha, wo daudkar mere paas aa gaye. Chhoti si bachi ne mera haath pakad liya, aur bade ne meri sari ko dekha.
Main: (bachchi ko god mein utha kar) "Arre are, kitni thak gayi hai? Aunty ke paas aao."
Fir saare andar aaye, hall mein baith gaye. Maa ne chai-nashta laaya, bachchon ke liye biscuit aur juice bhi.
Maa: "Anjali beta, kaisi ho? Itne din baad dekha."
Main: (halki muskaan, thodi udaasi ke saath) "Haan, Delhi mein hai abhi. Naukri shuru ki hai. Ek mahina hone wala hai. Ab bas 3 din baaki hain, phir main bhi chali jaungi uske paas."
Anjali: (mera haath dabate hue) "Isiliye tu apni maa ke paas hai? Akela nahi reh paayi hogi wahan?"
Main: (gehri saans lete hue) "Haan, wahi baat hai. Bahut yaad aati hai uski. Par kya karein, career ke liye zaroori tha. Maa bhi nahi chhod paayi."
Anjali: "Samajh sakti hoon. Himmat rakh. Sab thik ho jayega. "
Janvi: "Tu bata, sab kuch kaise chal raha hai?
Anjali: (muskura kar) "Achha chal raha hai, Bhagwan ki kripa se. Bachche badhe ho rahe hain, ghar-parivaar sab theek hai."
Baatein karte-karte bachche mere paas aakar baith gaye. Chhoti ne mera haath pakad liya aur bada mere paas aakar khada ho gaya.
Main: (muskurate hue, uske baalon mein haath pherte hue) "Nahi beta, khilona toh nahi hai. Par chalo, main tumhe kahani sunaati hoon. Kaisi rahegi?"
Bachcha: (khushi se) "Haan! Kahani!"
Maine chhoti ko god mein bithaya, aur ek chhoti si kahani sunaayi—raja-rani aur ek magar ki kahani. Dusra bachcha bhi paas aakar baith gaya, dono dhyan se sun rahe the.
Maa: (dekh kar muskurate hue) "Janvi ko bachchon se bahut lagav hai."
Anjali:"Haan, ye toh hamesha se hi aisi hai. Iski god mein bachcha aate hi sukoon aa jaata hai."
Fir thodi der baad Maa ne sabke liye khaana laga diya—aagrah karke sabko khilaya.
Maa: "Aaram se khao, itni door se aaye ho, bhookhe kaise ja sakte ho? "
Anjali ka pati: (khana khaate hue,) "Aunty, bahut zabardast khaana hai. Bilkul ghar jaisa lag raha hai. Kya baat hai, aapke haath mein jaadu hai."
Anjali: (hasti hui) "Haan Aunty, same Janvi ke haath jaisa taste hai."
Khaana khaate-khaate bahut saari baatein hui—Anjali ke bachchon ki school ki baatein, unki padhai, Aarush ke baare mein, uski job ke baare mein.
Khana hone ke baad Anjali ka pati bachchon ko lekar bahar garden mein chala gaya—pedon ke neeche thoda ghoomne. Ghar ke andar Maa, Anjali aur main baith gayi, dheemi awaaz mein baatein karte hue.
Anjali: "Janvi... Pratap ki koi khabar? "
Main: "Uski khabar lekar main kya karungi, Anjali? Wo toh chala gaya meri life se.
Anjali: "Nahi, mera matlab hai ki kahin usne call karne ki koshish kuch ki? Tujhe pareshan toh nahi kar raha?"
Maa: (tezi se) "Nahi, aur agar kiya bhi toh main use chhodungi nahi. Kitni takleef di usne meri bachchi ko."
Meri aankhein bhar aayi. Fir ek baar sab yaad aane laga—woh raatein, woh jhagde, wo tanhai. Maine saadi ke pallu mein muh chhupa kar rone lagi. Maa aur Anjali mere paas aakar mujhe shant karne lagi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Main kese shant ho jaun Anju? Us insaan ne sab kuch barbaad kar diya mera! Kya bigada tha maine uska? Yahi na ki usse pyaar kar baithi? Usne toh mera trust, meri izzat, mera sab kuch chheen liya."
Maa: (mera haath sahlate hue) "Bas... bas Janvi, ro mat. Ab wo nahi hai zindagi mein. Tu ab nayi zindagi jee rahi hai. Aage dekh."
Anjali: "Haan Janvi, Ab tu apni nayi zindagi par dhyan de."
Fir kuch der baad maa kitchen mein chali gayi. Anjali mere aur kareeb aa kar baith gayi.
Anjali: "Janvi, tu Aarush ke saath khush hai na? "
Main: (ankhon mein aansu, lekin muskaan) "Anju, tujhe pata hai na wo kaisa hai? Wo mujhe koi takleef nahi hone deta. Phool ki tarah khayal rakhata hai mera. Uske bina toh main kuch nahi."
Anjali: "Kash tera pati bhi Aarush ki tarah hota. Teri zindagi kabhi aisi na hoti."
Main mann hi mann soch rahi thi—hai wo mera pati. Ab wo hai. Lekin ye main Anjali ko nahi bata sakti.
Maine Anjali ko gale lagaya, aur phir ek baar fut-fut kar rone lagi.
Main: (uske kandhe par sar rakh kar) "Bahut miss kar rahi hoon Anjali usse. 1 mahina dur rahi hoon usse, aur ab reha nahi jata usse door. Dil bahut bechain ho gaya hai.
Main: (Anjali se dur hokar apne aansu ponchte hue) "Agar Aarush nahi hota toh mera kya hota, Anju? Main toh mar hi jaati. Usi ne mujhe jeevan diya, phir se."
Anjali: (dat kar) "Aise nahi bolte. Jo hua, achhe ke liye hua. Ab tu khush hai na? To bas
Main: "Mera Aarush hai isliye bas jinda hoon. Uske bina toh main kahin ki nahi."
Fir Maa bhi aa gayi. Ab waqt ho chuka tha—Anjali ne ghadi dekhi.
Anjali: (uth kar, thoda udaas) "Janvi, ab humein nikalna hoga. Raat hone se pehle ghar pahunch na hai, bachchon ke liye bhi theek rahega."
Main: "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh aayi thi tu. Baat karte-karte waqt ka pata nahi chala."
Anjali: "Kya karoon, safar lamba hai. Par promise karti hoon—jaldi phir milenge. Ya tu aa jaana hamare ghar."
Main: (muskura kar) "Zaroor aaungi. Aarush ko lekar. Tab tak apna khayal rakh."
Sab bahar aaye, gaadi tak chhodne. Bachchon ne mujhe gale lagaya—chhote se haathon se.
Gaadi dheere-dheere aage badhi—dhool udati sadak par. Main wahin khadi rahi, jab tak gaadi mod par ghoom kar aankhon se ojhal nahi ho gayi.Anjali se milkar khush bhi thi, aur uske bhare-poore parivaar ko dekh kar Aarush ki yaad bhi aur zyada aa rahi thi.
Fir hum dono ghar ke andar aa gaye. Maa TV dekhne baith gayi, aur main phone nikaal kar Aarush ko call karne lagi—ye sochte hue ki ab tak toh office se aa gaya hoga.
Ek baar call kiya, toh usne uthaya nahi. Maine firse kiya, toh bhi uthaya nahi.
Main: (apne aap se, thoda naraaz) "Oohhfoooo! Ye ladka bhi na... aaj kal phone uthana bhool gaya hai."
Maa: (TV se nazar hata kar) "Kya hua Janvi? Kya baat hai?"
Main: "Maa, Aarush call nahi utha raha. Pata nahi kya kar raha hai."
Maa: "Ghar aata hoga, aaega toh karega. Tu chinta mat kar.
Main: "Hmm..."
Kuch der tak hum dono TV dekhte rahe, par mera mann hai ki kahin lag hi nahi raha tha. Main wahi sofe par pichhe sar rakh kar aankhen band kar ke baith gayi.
Aankhen band hote hi mujhe wo pal yaad aane lage jo kuch din pahle maine Aarush ke saath hotel mein bitaye the. Kitna hasin tha sab kuch. Mera Aarush mere paas tha, meri baahon mein. Uski baatein, uski hansi, uske badan ka sparsh—mujhe sab yaad aane laga.
Aankhon se ek boond aansu nikal kar niche gir gaya.
Soch rahi thi— kab aayega? Kab main uske saath rahungi? Kab uski baahon mein chain ki neend soo paungi? Soch soch kar dil aur bechain ho raha tha.
Aankhein band thi meri. Saamne TV chal raha hai—Maa kisi purane serial mein khoyi hui hain, jisme koi ro raha hai kisi rishte ke toot jaane par. Aur main sochti hoon, kitna ajeeb hai na—TV ke andar ka dukh bhi kabhi-kabhi asli dukh se zyada sachcha lagta hai. Awaaz bahut halki hai, bas ek dhundhla sa shor, jo mujh tak pahunchta toh hai, par andar tak nahi utarta. Kyunki andar se main kahin aur hoon.
Dimaag ek film ki tarah chal raha hai—bina mere bulaye. Sabse pehle wo din yaad aata hai jab main dulhan bani thi—laal jode mein, haathon mein mehendi, aankhon mein sapne. Us waqt lagta tha zindagi bas yahin se shuru hoti hai—asli khushi, asli ghar, asli apna koi. Kitni bholi thi main, ya shayad kitni umeed se bhari.
Phir yaadein dheere-dheere rang badalne lagti hain. Wo shuruaati saal jab hum dono raat ko chhat par baith kar baatein karte the, chhoti-chhoti cheezon par hansi aati thi—kisi film ka dialogue, kisi rishtedar ka kissa. Us waqt lagta tha ye hansi kabhi khatam nahi hogi.
Par khatam ho gayi.
Kab shuru hui thi doori, mujhe theek se yaad bhi nahi. Bas itna yaad hai ki ek din maine notice kiya ki wo mujhse baat karte waqt phone dekhta rehta hai. Phir wo raatein jab main intezaar karti reh jaati thi—khana table par thanda hota rehta, aur main sofe par baithi rehti, bilkul aise hi jaise abhi baithi hoon—aankhein khuli par kuch dekh nahi rahi hoti thi.
Maine khud ko kitni baar samjhaya—"sab theek ho jayega." Kitna bada jhooth tha ye, jo maine sabse zyada khud se bola.
Phir wo din aaya jab sab saaf ho gaya. Kisi aur ladki ka naam, koi aur muskaan jo shayad kabhi meri hua karti thi. Ajeeb baat hai—jab sach saamne aaya, toh na gussa aaya, na chillayi main, na roi. Bas ek khaalipan sa fail gaya seene mein—jaise koi kamra ho jise achanak khaali kar diya gaya ho, saara saaman ek raat mein gayab.
Log kehte hain divorce ke baad zindagi ruk jaati hai. Par sach ye hai ki meri zindagi ne mujhe rukne hi nahi diya—kyunki ek haath tha jo mera intezaar kar raha tha.
Aarush....
Uska naam zehen mein aate hi kuch andar se pighalta hai. Jab main sabse zyada toot rahi thi, tab wahi ek chehra tha jo mujhe seedha khada rakhta tha. Yaad hai mujhe, jab wo chhota sa tha, meri ungli pakad kar chalna seekhta tha—girta tha, phir uthta tha, aur mujhe dekh kar hansta tha jaise keh raha ho "dekha Maa, main theek hoon."
Aaj wahi ladka bada ho gaya hai. Itna bada ki ab wahi mujhe sambhalta hai. Jab maine usse divorce ke baare mein bataya tha, uski aankhon mein gussa nahi tha, dukh bhi nahi—bas ek sthirta thi, jaise wo pehle se jaanta ho ki usse mujhe sambhalna hai. Usne bas mera haath pakda tha aur kaha tha—"Maa, ab main hoon na."
Kitni simple si baat thi, par us waqt lagi jaise kisi ne meri toot chuki duniya wapas jod di ho.
Wo mujhse pyaar karta hai—aisa pyaar jisme koi shart nahi, koi maang nahi. Har roz call karta hai, chhoti-chhoti baatein poochta hai—"khana khaya? dawai li? theek se so rahi ho na?" Jaise koi beta nahi, balki koi mera rakhwala ho, jo mujhe phool ki tarah sambhalta hai, dhyan se, pyaar se, jaise main koi keemti cheez hoon jise tootane nahi deta .
Kabhi-kabhi sochti hoon—jo pyaar mujhe ek rishte mein khojna tha aur nahi mila, wo saara pyaar mujhe mere bete ne, bina maange, khud-ba-khud de diya.
Kuch din baad wo mujhe lene aayega. Sochte hi honthon par ek halki si muskaan aa jaati hai, jo maine khud bhi notice nahi ki kab aa gayi.
Maa abhi bhi TV dekh rahi hain—unhe shayad pata bhi nahi ki main yahan baithi hoon par kahin aur hoon. Main unki taraf dekhti hoon—unke chehre par bhi waqt ki lakeerein hain, unhone bhi apni zindagi mein na jaane kitne tootne-jodne dekhe honge. Shayad isiliye wo kuch poochti nahi, bas apni jagah baithi rehti hain—jaise unki khamoshi hi unka saath dene ka tareeqa ho.
Aankhein khol kar main ek lambi saans leti hoon. Bahar shaam dhalne lagi hai, khidki se halki narangi roshni kamre mein aa rahi hai. Shayad zindagi ne mujhse sab kuch nahi cheena. Kuch cheen kar, usne mujhe wo de diya jo shayad sabse zyada zaroori tha—ek beta jo mujhse utna hi pyaar karta hai, jitna main kabhi kisi se ummeed kar sakti thi.
Aur abhi, is pal, bas itna kaafi hai.
Sofe par baithi apni hi soch mein, main kab so gayi pata hi nahi chala. Mobile mere haath se fisal kar sofe par gir gaya. Raat ke 8 baj chuke the. Aarush ka phone aa kar gaya tha—Maa ne usse baat ki thi, aur main so rahi thi toh unhone mujhe nahi jagaya.
Phir kuch der baad kukur ki sieti se meri neend toot gayi. Ghadi ki taraf dekha toh 9 baj rahe the. Maine fatafat phone uthaya aur Aarush ko call laga di.
Call
Main: (neend se uthti hui, or baat karte huwe bedroom main chali gai ) "Hello baby?"
Aarush: "Mom, aap uth gayi?"
Main: "Tumhe kaise pata ki main so rahi thi?"
Aarush: "Kuch der pehle maine call kiya tha toh Nani se baat ho gayi thi. Unhone bataya ki aap so rahi hain. Toh maine socha, aapko jagana nahi chaahiye."
Main: "Hmm... ye batao, jab main tumhe call kar rahi thi, kyun nahi utha rahe the?"
Aarush: "Phone silent par tha, Mom. Aur main bas ghar hi aa raha tha. Car mein tha, toh sunai nahi diya."
Main: "Hmm... pata hai aaj Anjali aayi thi—apne family ke saat."
Main: "Main toh thik hi hoon baby. Bas tumhari bahut yaad aa rahi hai. "
Aarush: "Pata hai.... Mom main badmein baat karun? Mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kuch files dekhni hain."
Main: "Theek hai. Par haan, khana kha lena time par."
Aarush: "Haan. Love you, Mom. Goodnight."
Main: "Love you too, Aarush. Bye."
Phone cut karte hi main phone apne seene se laga kar let gayi. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi—uski awaaz thodi badli lag rahi thi. Kya ho sakta hai ? uski aawaj to pahle aisi nahi thi....
Ab dekhte hi dekhte din nikal gaye,Do din baad Aarush wapas aane wala tha, aur is baat se dil mein ajeeb si khushi thi. Par pichle do dinon se kuch ajeeb sa lag raha tha—Aarush ki calls chhoti ho gayi thin, messages bhi kam aa rahe the, aur jab baat hoti bhi thi, uski awaaz mein pehle jaisi wo garmi, wo excitement nahi thi. Jaise koi door ho raha ho, jaise koi wall ban rahi ho mere aur uske beech.
Raat ke das baje maine call kiya. Dil dhadak raha tha, na jaane kyun.
Main: "Baby, kaisa raha aaj din?"
Aarush: (halki, thakan bhari awaaz mein, jaise kuch chhupa raha ho) "Theek tha, Mom... bas thoda busy raha. Kaam bahut tha."
Main: "Khaana khaya? Time se?"
Aarush: "Haan khaya... Mom suno na, mujhe thoda kaam hai abhi. Kal baat karte hain, okay?"
Main: (thoda hairan ho gai ) "Itni jaldi? Abhi toh baat shuru hi hui thi. Tumhari awaaz kuch ajeeb lag rahi hai."
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, sach mein bahut kaam hai. Aur thoda tired bhi hoon. Good night."
Phone kat gaya, aur main wahin baithi rah gayi—phone haath mein liye, uski awaaz mein jo ajeeb sa tuta-tuta pan tha wo dimaag mein ghoomta raha. Kya baat hai? Kyun aisa kar raha hai? Maine socha, shayad main hi zyada soch rahi hoon. Par dil nahi maan raha tha.
Agli raat toh aur bhi ajeeb rahi. Maine teen baar call kiya—do baar toh phone hi nahi utha. Teesri baar uthaya toh bhi awaaz mein wahi thakan, wahi jaldi khatam karne ki koshish.
Main: (thoda gussa aur pareshan) "Aarush, kya baat hai? Do din se tum kuch chhupa rahe ho mujhse.
Aarush: "Kuch nahi chhupa raha Mom, bas office mein thoda extra pressure hai. New project hai, isliye thak jaata hoon."
Main: "Par tumhari awaaz mein kuch aur hi lag raha hai. Sach batao, sab theek hai na? Tum mujhse jhooth toh nahi bol rahe?"
Aarush: "Haan Mom, sab theek hai. Aap fikar mat karo."
Main: "Tum pagal ho gaye ho! 'Fikar mat karo'? Fikar kaise na karoon? Tum roz raat ko itni der tak baat karte the, ab do minute mein hi call kaatne lagte ho. Kuch toh hai jo tum bata nahi rahe. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe pata hona chahiye.
Aarush: "Mom... bas thoda tired hoon. Itni si baat hai. Kal baat karte hain."
Main: (thoda ruk kar, dard se) "Theek hai... good night."
Maine phone rakh diya, par mann bilkul shaant nahi tha. Andar hi andar ek ajeeb sa gussa aur uljhan mehsoos ho rahi thi. Us raat neend nahi aayi. Baar-baar wahi khayal aata raha—kya baat hai jo Aarush chhupa raha hai? Kahin office mein koi problem toh nahi? Ya... koi aur wajah hai?
Aurat ka dil hai, thoda shak toh aa hi jaata hai. Kahin aisa toh nahi ki wahan koi naya dost ban gai ho, jisse baat karne mein zyada time nikal jaata ho, aur mujhse baat karne ka mann hi na kare? Ye khayal aate hi khud par gussa aaya—Janvi, aisa kaise soch sakti ho tum Aarush ke baare mein? Lekin dil toh dil hai, usko kaun samjhaaye?
Mujhe kuch bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun. Bahut tension aur sawaalon ne mujhe gher liya tha. Raat bhar kab tak aise hi jagti rahi, pata nahi chala. Aankhen khuli thin, par sapne Aarush ke hi the.
Subah main uth gayi. Maa ke saath chai-nashta bana liya, uske baad Maa ke saath baith gayi. Nashte ki table pe Maa ne mera udaas chehra dekha.
Maa: "Kya hua Janvi? Chehra kyun latka hua hai? Kal se kuch khaas nahi bol rahi."
Main: "Kuch nahi Maa... bas Aarush do dinon se ajeeb behave kar raha hai. Thik se baat nahi karta, jaldi phone kaat deta hai. Jaise kuch chhupa raha ho."
Maa: "Kaam ka pressure hoga beta, itna sochne ki kya zaroorat? Naye city mein naye kaam mein time lagta hai."
Main: "Maa, mujhe lagta hai wo kuch chhupa raha hai mujhse. Pehle toh kabhi aisa nahi karta tha.
Maa: (mera haath pakad kar) "Janvi, aisa kuch nahi hoga. Bas tu uske baare mein zyada sochti hai na, isliye tere mann mein aise vichar aate hain. Aur agar wo kuch nahi bata raha, toh zaroor koi wajah hogi. Bina jaane shak karna theek nahi."
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Par Maa, dil hi nahi maanta. Aise lagta hai jaise kuch chhupaya ja raha hai mujhse. Aur main kuch kar nahi sakti."
Maa: "Sabr rakh beta, do hi din baaki hain na? Khud aake bata dega jo bhi baat hai. Tab tak tu apna khayal rakh."
Maa se baat karte-karte thoda nashta kar liya—waise toh kuch bhi khane-pine ka mann nahi kar raha tha. Bas Aarush ke hi khayal aa rahe the. Main apne aap ko kaamon mein uljhaaye rakhti, taaki na sochu. Par har cheez uski yaad dilaati thi.
Us shaam maine Aarush ko phir se call kiya. Aur is baar Aarush ki awaaz aur bhi kamzor lagi—jaise thakan se zyada, kuch aur bhi ho. Jaise wo bolna nahi chahta, par bol raha hai. Mujhe ab aur sehan nahi hua, aur bahut gussa bhi aane laga—ki ye ladka mujhse kya chhupa raha hai?
Uske call uthate hi main use daantna shuru kar di.
Call
Main: (tez awaaz mein, gussa aur dard dono) "Aarush, ab bas! Sach batao kya baat hai. Main pareshan ho rahi hoon. Do din se mujhe neend nahi aa rahi."
Aarush: "Mom, kuch nahi hai, please... aap shant ho jao."
Main: (awaaz mein gussa aur dard dono, thodi tez rote huwe ) "Nahi Aarush, ye theek nahi hai. Do din se tum mujhse seedhe munh baat nahi kar rahe, jaldi phone kaat dete ho, awaaz mein wo pehli jaisi baat nahi hai. Main tumhari maa hoon, mujhe haq hai jaanne ka ki tumhare saath kya ho raha hai. Mujhe ab aur pareshan mat karo! "
Ye keh kar main fut-fut kar rone lagi—nahi ho raha tha ab mujhse sehan kuch bhi. Ek toh itni door hai ki main ja bhi nahi sakti uske paas, warna ek khich kar thappad laga deti toh bolta. Par main yahan hoon, aur wo wahan, aur ye doori mujhe maar rahi hai.
Aarush chup rehta hai kuch pal. Sirf uski saans sunai de rahi thi.
Main: (hichki ke saath) "Kya baat hai Aarush? Kya main itni kamzor lagti hoon tumhe ki tum mujhse sach nahi bata sakte? Ya phir koi aur wajah hai jisse tum baat nahi karna chahte mujhse?"
Ye kehte hue mera gala bhar aaya, aankhon mein aansu aa gaye—mixed feelings the, gussa bhi, dukh bhi, aur ye dar bhi ki kahin sach mein kuch aisa na ho jo humare rishton ko badal de.
Aarush: (aakhir mein, thaki aur bhari awaaz mein wo bolne lga ) "Mom... sach batata hoon, bas please pareshan mat hona. Aur rona toh bilkul nahi."
Main: (dil zor se dhadakne laga, awaaz kaanp rahi thi) "Baby, ab batao na please... main aur nahi sehan kar sakti."
Aarush: (gehri saans lete hue) "Mujhe halka bukhaar hai, do din se. Kaam ka pressure bhi hai, isliye thakan zyada mehsoos ho rahi hai. Maine socha aapko nahi bataunga, kyunki agar bataata toh aap aur pareshan ho jaati. Aur aapke paas aana mumkin nahi tha mere liye, toh sirf aapko tension dena theek nahi laga. Maine socha chhupa kar rakhta hoon, theek ho jaunga."
Ye sunte hi meri aankhon se aansu bahne lage—gussa aur pyaar dono ek saath umad aaye.
Main: (rote hue) "Aarush! Tu... tumne mujhe kyun nahi bataya? Main tumhari maa hoon na, mujhe jaanne ka haq hai jab tum bimaar ho, tab bhi! Isse zyada bura kya lagega mujhe ki tum mujhse aisi baatein chhupao?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom. Maine socha aapki fikr kam karne ke liye chhupa raha, par ulta aapko aur pareshan kar diya."
Main: (aansu ponchte hue) "Haan kiya! Do din se main sochti rahi ki pata nahi kya baat hai, mann mein tarah-tarah ke khayal aa rahe the..." (ruk gayi, thoda sharminda hokar)
Aarush: "Kaise khayal?"
Main: (halki awaaz mein, sharminda hote hue) "Kuch nahi... bas... dar lag raha tha kahin kuch aur baat toh nahi. Kahin tum mujhse dur toh nahi ho rahe."
Aarush: "Mom, aisa kabhi mat sochna. Mere dil mein sirf aap ho, aur hamesha rahogi. Bas aapki fikr mein galti kar baitha, ye baat chhupa ke. Main aapko kabhi chhod nahi sakta."
Main: (dat kar, par pyaar se) "Aainda kabhi aisa mat karna Aarush. Chahe kitni bhi chhoti baat ho, mujhe batana. Hum saath hain na, toh dukh-sukh dono share karna chahiye, sirf khushiyan nahi. Hamne is baare mein pahle bhi baat ki thi na, tum bhool gaye?"
Aarush: "Sorry Mom, aainda kabhi nahi chhupaunga kuch. Promise."
Main: (thoda shaant hokar) "Hmm... ab batao, dawai li? Bukhaar kitna hai abhi?"
Aarush: "Li hai, ab thoda kam hai. Do din mein theek ho jaunga, aap chinta mat karo.
Main: "Kaise na karoon chinta? Tum wahan akele ho, koi dekhne wala bhi nahi... kya karoge agar bukhaar badh gaya to?"
Aarush: (halka sa haskar) "Main theek hoon Mom. Bas do din aur, phir toh aap hongi hi na mere paas—mera khayal rakhne ke liye."
Mera gussa dheere-dheere pighalne laga, par dil mein ek sukoon bhi tha—ki sach jaanke, chahe wo bimaar hone ki hi khabar kyun na ho, kam se kam uljhan toh khatam ho gayi thi. Ab main jaanti hoon ki wo mujhse door nahi ho raha, bas bimaar hai.
Main: "Achha theek hai... par ab se roz batana kaisa mehsoos kar rahe ho. Koi baat chhupaoge nahi. Samjhe?"
Aarush: "Nahi chhupaunga. Sorry phir se, aapko pareshan kiya isliye."
Main: (thoda hans kar) "Chalo maaf kiya, is baar ke liye. Par agli baar aisi galti hui na, toh main khud aake tumhari khabar loongi! Samjhe tum?"
Aarush halka sa hasa—uski awaaz mein pehli baar us din thodi rahat mehsoos hui.
Aarush: "Achha baba, promise karta hoon aisi koi galti nahi hogi. Ab aap shant ho jao."
Main: "Hmm... ab so jao, aaram karo. Kal phir baat karenge."
Aarush: "Theek hai. Good night. Love you, Mom."
Main: "Love you too. Jaldi theek ho jao, do din baad aana hai na."
Phone rakhte hi maine ek gehri saans li—jo do dinon ka bojh seene pe tha, wo halka ho gaya tha. Par saath hi ek naya seekh bhi mila tha—
pyaar mein chhupana chahe kitni bhi achhi niyat se ho, dard hi deta hai.
Sach, chahe kaisa bhi ho,
sunna aasan hota hai jhoothi khaamoshi se.
Call rakh kar main Maa ke paas chali gayi. Maa khane ke liye plates laga rahi thin. Fir hum dono khana khane baith gaye.
Ye sunte hi Maa ne apne haath mein se nivala neeche rakh diya—wo achanak thodi ghabra gayin.
Maa: "Are Bap re! Kya hua usse?
Main: (aankhon mein aansu) "Bukhaar hai, 2-3 din se.
Maa: (thoda ruk kar) "2-3 din se? Achha... ab samjhi ki wo tujhse baat kyun nahi kar raha tha. Apni bimari chhupa raha tha."
Meri aankh se aansu aa gaye. Maine saadi ke pallu se apne aansu ponchne ki koshish ki, par wo rukte nahi the.
Main: "Dekha na Maa Aapne kaisa karta hai wo. Mujhase chhupa kar rakhta hai taaki main pareshan na ho. Lekin wo nahi jaanta ki uska ye chhupana mujhe aur zyada pareshan kar deta hai."
Maa: "Hmm... ab kaisa hai wo? ruk...pehle main zara usse baat karun. Mujhe khana nahi khaya jayega."
Main: (Maa ko rok kar) "Nahi Maa, aap ab subah hi baat kar lena usse. Maine use dawai lekar sone ke liye bol diya hai. Ab wo aaram kar raha hoga."
Maa: "Theek toh hai na wo? Bukhaar kitna hai?"
Main: "Hmm, ab thoda bukhaar utar gaya hai. Usne kaha kal tak theek ho jayega."
Maa: "Mujhe na is ladke ka kuch samajh hi nahi aata.
Main: (halki muskaan) "Hai na... wo aisa hi hai."
Maa: (mujhe dekhte hue, thoda dat kar) "Aur tu bhi kuch kam nahi hai. Dono ek jaise ho—ek doosre ki fikr mein pagal."
Ye keh kar Maa thodi hansi, aur unke saath main bhi thodi hansne lagi. Halka sa mahaul halka ho gaya.
Fir khana kha kar saare kaam nipta kar hum sone chale gaye. Bedroom mein jaate hi maine light off kar di aur mobile mein Aarush ki photo nikali. Use dekhte hue bed par let gayi—zoom kar-kar kar uski aankhon mein dekhne lagi, jaise us image ko apne seene mein utaar lena chahti hoon.
Phone ko apne seene se laga kar, aankhen band kar ke, pure dil se Aarush ko pukarne lagi—kash, kash mera Aarush mere dil ki baat is waqt sun leta. Par tabhi maine mehsoos kiya ki jaise Aarush mere side mein hi leta hai. Maine aankhen band kiye hue uski taraf palat gayi.
Main: (dheemi, bhaari awaaz mein) "Baby... kya tum sach mein mere paas ho?"
Aarush: (sapne mein, jaise uski awaaz) "Haan Jaan, tum bulati ho toh aaunga hi na. Main kahan ja sakta hoon tumse door?"
Main: "To kya khud pareshan hote rahoge? Main tumhari maa hoon,
Aarush: "Khud pareshan hona chalega mujhe. Par tum pareshan ho—ye nahi chalega. Tum meri Jaan ho, meri zindagi ho. Tumhare bina main kya?"
Main: (rote hue) "Babyyy... "
Aarush: "Kya tum ab bhi rogi? Tum apna rona kab band karogi, Janvi?"
Main: "Jab tum hamesha mere paas rahoge. Jab mujhe kabhi akela nahi chhodoge."
Aarush: "Achha..."
Main: "Hmm..."
Ab ye sab baatein aur Aarush ka ye ehsaas, ye sab mujhe neend mein feel ho raha tha. Main sapno mein chali gayi thi—ek aisa sapna jo mujhe sach lag raha tha.
Maine mehsoos kiya ki Aarush mere aur paas aaya—bilkul paas. Meri kamr mein haath daal kar usne mujhe apni taraf kheench liya. Mere honthon ko chumne laga—pyaar se, dheere-dheere, jaise main koi naazuk cheez hoon.
Main neend mein wo sab feel karne lagi—neend mein uske saath baatein karte hue moan karne lagi. Bed par chatpatane lagi, jaise uska sparsh mere body ko chhu raha ho.
Aarush ne dhire se meri nighty ko upar utthaya—nighty sarkte hue meri kamar tak aa gayi. Ab main bed par neeche se nangi thi, bas ek chhoti si panty ne meri chut ko chhupa ke rakha tha, jo ab dhire-dhire wet hone lagi thi. Aarush ne nighty ke andar haath daal kar mere boobs pakad liye aur unhe dabane laga.
Main: (neend mein karahate hue) "Ahhhhhhh... baby, mat karo na aisa... ammmm... ahhhhhhh..."
Usne mere boobs ko apne muh mein bhar liya aur chusne laga, haathon se dabane laga.
Main bas bed par aadhi nangi padi rahi aur neend mein ye sab feel karne lagi. Mere haath boobs par the—main khud hi boobs daba rahi thi. Lekin aise feel ho raha tha jaise Aarush hi kar raha ho sab. Jaise uska haath mera haath ho gaya ho.
Phir maine mehsoos kiya ki uska ek haath neeche jane laga—mere pet ko chhookar dhire se meri panty tak pahunch gaya.
Main: (neend mein, hichki ke saath) "Ammmm... ahhhhhh... babyyy... why did you keep me away from you..."
Mera haath meri chut par chala gaya—panty ke upar se hi chut ko sehlane lagi, chut ko dabane lagi.
Main: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Aisa laga jaise usne meri panty neeche sarka di. Meri ek tang utha kar apne upar rakh di aur sidhe chut par haath rakh kar usse sehlane laga. Maine use apni baahon mein kas liya.
Main tez-tez saansein lene lagi. Neend se jakar baith gayi—apne aap ko dekhne lagi. Phir chut ko dekha toh mujhe samajh aaya ki ye sab ek sapna tha. Aarush mera saath nahi tha.
Main bed se neeche utar kar washroom chali gayi. Khud ko saaf kiya, thande paani se chehra dhoya. Fir wapas bed par aakar let gayi. Ab neend bhi toot gayi thi.
Apne mobile par time dekha—raat ke 1 baj rahe the. Phir apni soch mein Aarush se baatein karne lagi.
Main: (khud se, halki hansi ke saath) "Dekha baby kya halat ho gayi hai meri? Main na pagal ho gayi hoon tumhari yaad mein."
(Thodi der soch kar, khud hi hasne lagi jo abhi hua wo soch kar)
"Ye sab tumhari wajah se ho raha hai. Tum jaldi aa jao mere paas. Aur dekhna, abse na main tumhe kabhi apne se dur nahi hone dungi. Tum kahi nahi jaoge mujhe chhod kar."Next time agar tumhe kuch aisa karna ho na mere saath—mujhe dur rakhna ho—toh pahle mujhe mar jane do, phir dur chale jana. Main nahi reh sakti tumhare siva. Tum samajhte kyun nahi ho? Hmmmm?"(Aankhen band kar ke, thoda narm hokar)
"You so bad, Aarush. Sooo bad."......
Aisi soch mein kab aankh lagi, pata hi nahi chala. Aur neend bhi aisi thi, jaise usi ke sapno mein chali gayi—jaise wo mere paas ho, jaise main uski baahon mein hun.
Call
Aaaaa... Aarush, kaun hai?"
Office friend hai. Colleague. Bas mazaak kar rahi hai."
Fir ek baar sab yaad aane laga—woh raatein, woh jhagde, wo tanhai. Maine saadi ke pallu mein muh chhupa kar rone lagi. Maa aur Anjali mere paas aakar mujhe shant karne lagi.
Kya bigada tha maine uska? Yahi na ki usse pyaar kar baithi? Usne toh mera trust, meri izzat, mera sab kuch chheen liya."
main aur nahi sehan kar sakti."
