Update - 1
Mera naam Sangeeta Rai hai, aur main Begusarai ki rehne wali hoon, aur main Delhi mein mechanical engineering ki student hoon. Main doodh jaisi gori hoon aur mera chehra-mohra kafi sundar hai, jispe mujhe kafi ghamand hai.
Aur mere ise sone-mohne roop par marne wale hazaro the. Main jab aathvi class mein gayi, toh us waqt maine Facebook pe account banaya, aur mere account pe dekhte-dekhte hazaro logon ne friend request bhej di. Main bhi yeh dekhkar khush thi, aur mujhe apne badan ki taqat ka andaza mila. Main apne school mein sabse zyada followed ladki thi, aur meri saari saheliyan mujhse jalne lagi thi. Aur isi tarah mera school khatam hua...
Kismat se aur mere ghar walon ki dekh-rekh ki wajah se mere pair kabhi nahi phisle, lekin yeh sab achanak se badla jab main college mein gayi...
Mera naam Sangeeta Rai hai, aur main Begusarai ki rehne wali hoon, aur main Delhi mein mechanical engineering ki student hoon. Main doodh jaisi gori hoon aur mera chehra-mohra kafi sundar hai, jispe mujhe kafi ghamand hai.
Aur mere ise sone-mohne roop par marne wale hazaro the. Main jab aathvi class mein gayi, toh us waqt maine Facebook pe account banaya, aur mere account pe dekhte-dekhte hazaro logon ne friend request bhej di. Main bhi yeh dekhkar khush thi, aur mujhe apne badan ki taqat ka andaza mila. Main apne school mein sabse zyada followed ladki thi, aur meri saari saheliyan mujhse jalne lagi thi. Aur isi tarah mera school khatam hua...
Kismat se aur mere ghar walon ki dekh-rekh ki wajah se mere pair kabhi nahi phisle, lekin yeh sab achanak se badla jab main college mein gayi...
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malikarman
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Nice startUpdate - 1
Mera naam Sangeeta Rai hai, aur main Patna ki rahane wali hun, aur main dilli me mechanical engineering ki student hun, Main doodh jaisi gori hun aur mera chehra muhra kafi sona hai, jispe mujhe kafi ghamand hai,
Aur mere ise sone mone me marane wale hazaro the, main jab 8 wi class me gayi, to us waqt maine facebook pe account banaya, aur mere account pe dekhate dekhate hazaro logon ne friend request bhej diya, main bhi ye dekh khus thi, aur mujhe apne badan ke taqat ka andaza mila, main apne school me sabse jyada followed ladaki thi, aur mere sare dost mujhse jalane lage, aur isi tarah mera school khatam hua...
Kismat se aur mere ghar wale ki dekh rekh ki wajah se mere pair kabhi nahi phisale, lekin ye sab achanak se badala jab main collage me gayi...
Update - 2
Delhi aate hi mujhe samajh aa gaya ki yeh shehar bilkul alag duniya hai. Itni bheed, itni tez zindagi, metro mein log ek dusre ko takraate hue chal rahe hain. Ladkiyan chhote kapde pehen ke ghum rahi hain bina kisi tension ke. Couples haath pakad ke, khule mein romance karte hue. Pehle kabhi aisa nahi dekha tha. Ghar par har cheez par pabandi thi, yahan koi kuch nahi poochta.
Mujhe admission scholarship ki wajah se mila tha. School mein main average student thi, isliye yahan padhai shuru karte hi samajh aa gaya ki yeh mere liye mushkil hone wala tha. Class mein jo topics chal rahe the, woh mujhe nahi samajh aa rahe the. Notes banana bhi dikkat ho raha tha.
Hostel mein meri roommate mili — Rukhsar. Delhi ki ladki, modern aur bahut confident. Pehli baar jab main uske saamne gayi toh woh mujhe dekhti rahi aur hans padi. “Tu bilkul simple lag rahi hai yaar. Tension mat le, main tujhe yahan sab adjust kara dungi.”
Rukhsar roz tight tops aur jeans pehenti thi, achha makeup karti thi. Woh mujhe dekh kar kehti, “Tera chehra aur figure itna acha hai, aise simple kapdon mein kyun chhupati hai? Thoda modern ban, warna log tujhe alag nazar se dekhenge.” Main sharma jaati thi lekin uski baaton ko dil mein rakhti thi.
College mein mechanical branch mein ladkiyan bahut kam thi. Isliye jaise hi main class mein jaati, kai ladke meri taraf dekhte rehte. Kuch directly aake baat karne lagte — “Hi, new ho? Number de do, agar koi help chahiye toh bol dena.” Unki nazar sirf chehre par nahi rehti thi. Pehle yeh sab dekh ke mujhe ajeeb lagta tha, lekin dheere-dheere yeh normal hone laga.
Dheere-dheere teen-chaar hafte beet gaye. Rukhsar ke saath meri dosti achhi ho gayi thi aur main hostel life mein thodi set hone lagi thi. Woh mujhe aksar shaam ko bahar le jaati. Ek-do baar hum market bhi gaye. Wahan ladkiyan itne short dresses mein thi ki main aankhein chhupa leti thi. Log khule mein romance kar rahe the. Main sochti rehti thi ki yahan kisi ko farak nahi padta. Koi nahi poochta ki tum kahan ja rahi ho ya kitne baje wapas aaogi. Yeh freedom mujhe pehle kabhi feel nahi hui thi.
Rukhsar dheere-dheere mera style badalne ki koshish kar rahi thi. Ek din, jab humein hostel mein aaye lagbhag ek mahina hone wala tha, usne kaha, “Kal ek party hai seniors ki taraf se. Tu bhi chal. Sirf dekhne ke liye. Koi force nahi karega. Thoda enjoy kar.”
Maine socha… shayad jaana chahiye. Lekin abhi tak maine koi decision nahi liya tha.
Woh party mein kya hua… agle update mein bataungi.
Delhi aate hi mujhe samajh aa gaya ki yeh shehar bilkul alag duniya hai. Itni bheed, itni tez zindagi, metro mein log ek dusre ko takraate hue chal rahe hain. Ladkiyan chhote kapde pehen ke ghum rahi hain bina kisi tension ke. Couples haath pakad ke, khule mein romance karte hue. Pehle kabhi aisa nahi dekha tha. Ghar par har cheez par pabandi thi, yahan koi kuch nahi poochta.
Mujhe admission scholarship ki wajah se mila tha. School mein main average student thi, isliye yahan padhai shuru karte hi samajh aa gaya ki yeh mere liye mushkil hone wala tha. Class mein jo topics chal rahe the, woh mujhe nahi samajh aa rahe the. Notes banana bhi dikkat ho raha tha.
Hostel mein meri roommate mili — Rukhsar. Delhi ki ladki, modern aur bahut confident. Pehli baar jab main uske saamne gayi toh woh mujhe dekhti rahi aur hans padi. “Tu bilkul simple lag rahi hai yaar. Tension mat le, main tujhe yahan sab adjust kara dungi.”
Rukhsar roz tight tops aur jeans pehenti thi, achha makeup karti thi. Woh mujhe dekh kar kehti, “Tera chehra aur figure itna acha hai, aise simple kapdon mein kyun chhupati hai? Thoda modern ban, warna log tujhe alag nazar se dekhenge.” Main sharma jaati thi lekin uski baaton ko dil mein rakhti thi.
College mein mechanical branch mein ladkiyan bahut kam thi. Isliye jaise hi main class mein jaati, kai ladke meri taraf dekhte rehte. Kuch directly aake baat karne lagte — “Hi, new ho? Number de do, agar koi help chahiye toh bol dena.” Unki nazar sirf chehre par nahi rehti thi. Pehle yeh sab dekh ke mujhe ajeeb lagta tha, lekin dheere-dheere yeh normal hone laga.
Dheere-dheere teen-chaar hafte beet gaye. Rukhsar ke saath meri dosti achhi ho gayi thi aur main hostel life mein thodi set hone lagi thi. Woh mujhe aksar shaam ko bahar le jaati. Ek-do baar hum market bhi gaye. Wahan ladkiyan itne short dresses mein thi ki main aankhein chhupa leti thi. Log khule mein romance kar rahe the. Main sochti rehti thi ki yahan kisi ko farak nahi padta. Koi nahi poochta ki tum kahan ja rahi ho ya kitne baje wapas aaogi. Yeh freedom mujhe pehle kabhi feel nahi hui thi.
Rukhsar dheere-dheere mera style badalne ki koshish kar rahi thi. Ek din, jab humein hostel mein aaye lagbhag ek mahina hone wala tha, usne kaha, “Kal ek party hai seniors ki taraf se. Tu bhi chal. Sirf dekhne ke liye. Koi force nahi karega. Thoda enjoy kar.”
Maine socha… shayad jaana chahiye. Lekin abhi tak maine koi decision nahi liya tha.
Woh party mein kya hua… agle update mein bataungi.
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Update - 3
Rukhsar ne itna force kiya ki main maan gayi. “Bas dekhne ke liye jaana hai,” yeh soch ke main taiyaar ho gayi. Usne mujhe ek simple black top aur jeans pehnaya, thoda makeup bhi kar diya. Main mirror mein khud ko dekh ke thodi nervous ho gayi thi.
Party ek bade farmhouse mein thi. Bahar se hi music ki awaaz aa rahi thi. Andar jaate hi maine dekha ki bahut log the — ladke aur ladkiyan dono. Lights kam thi, cigarette aur sharaab ki smell har taraf faili hui thi. Main thodi si uncomfortable feel karne lagi. Yeh sab dekh ke mujhe laga ki main yahan bilkul fit nahi baith rahi.
Andar jaate hi maine Rukhsar ko dekha. Woh ek ladke ke saath thi — uska boyfriend tha shayad. Dono ek dusre se chipke hue the, baat kar rahe the aur kabhi-kabhi kiss bhi kar lete the. Rukhsar ko dekh ke maine socha ki shayad woh mujhe introduce karwayegi, lekin woh apne boyfriend mein itni busy thi ki usne mujhe notice bhi nahi kiya. Main akeli khadi ho gayi thi.
Thodi der baad ek senior mere paas aaya. Uska naam tha Arjun. Lamba, achha build, aur baat karne ka style bahut confident tha. Woh seedha mere paas aaya aur bola, “Tu nayi lag rahi hai. Pehli baar party mein aayi hai kya?”
Maine sirf sir hila ke haan kar diya. Woh hans ke bola, “Koi baat nahi, main hoon na. Tension mat le.” Usne mujhe ek drink offer ki. Pehle toh maine mana kar diya, lekin usne kaha, “Bas ek sip, taste kar ke dekh.” Maine pi liya. Halki si garmi feel hui andar.
Arjun baat karne laga. Woh meri taarif karta raha — “Tera chehra bahut sundar hai yaar. Aur yeh gori skin… college mein log already tere baare mein baat kar rahe hain.” Main sharma rahi thi lekin andar se achha lag raha tha. Pehle kabhi kisi ne itni achhi baat nahi ki thi mere saamne.
Woh dheere-dheere aur paas aa gaya. Music tez tha isliye woh mere kaan ke paas baat kar raha tha. Uske haath kabhi-kabhi meri kamar par touch ho jaate the. Main hatati nahi thi. Rukhsar abhi bhi apne boyfriend ke saath busy thi, main akeli thi isliye Arjun ki baaton mein thodi bahut interest lene lagi.
Kuch der baad usne kaha, “Chal bahar chalte hain, yahan bahut shor hai. Thoda shaant jagah pe baat karte hain.” Maine socha… shayad nahi jaana chahiye. Lekin usne itne ache se samjhaya aur itna confident tha ki main uske saath chal padi.
Bahar ki side mein ek chhota sa garden tha. Wahan kam log the. Arjun ne mujhe wall ke saath khada kiya aur dheere se meri taraf jhuka. “Tujhe yahan kaisa lag raha hai?” usne poocha. Main kuch bol nahi paayi. Woh hans ke bola, “Main tujhe sambhal lunga. Tension mat le.”
Usne mera haath pakad liya. Main rok nahi paayi. Uske haath mein thodi si garmahat thi. Woh aur paas aa gaya. Maine aankhein band kar li thi. Usne mere hothon par halka sa kiss kiya. Pehli baar kisi ladke ne mujhe aise chhua tha. Mera dil zor se dhadak raha tha.
Woh dheere-dheere aur intense ho gaya. Maine bhi uska saath diya. Thodi der baad usne kaha, “Number de de apna. Kal milte hain, kahin bahar chalte hain.”
Maine apna number de diya.
Woh raat ke baad main wapas hostel aayi toh Rukhsar already so chuki thi. Main bistar par leti hui soch rahi thi ki aaj jo hua… yeh sab itna jaldi kaise ho gaya. Aur maine usko rok kyun nahi paya.
Arjun ka message agle din subah hi aa gaya.
Rukhsar ne itna force kiya ki main maan gayi. “Bas dekhne ke liye jaana hai,” yeh soch ke main taiyaar ho gayi. Usne mujhe ek simple black top aur jeans pehnaya, thoda makeup bhi kar diya. Main mirror mein khud ko dekh ke thodi nervous ho gayi thi.
Party ek bade farmhouse mein thi. Bahar se hi music ki awaaz aa rahi thi. Andar jaate hi maine dekha ki bahut log the — ladke aur ladkiyan dono. Lights kam thi, cigarette aur sharaab ki smell har taraf faili hui thi. Main thodi si uncomfortable feel karne lagi. Yeh sab dekh ke mujhe laga ki main yahan bilkul fit nahi baith rahi.
Andar jaate hi maine Rukhsar ko dekha. Woh ek ladke ke saath thi — uska boyfriend tha shayad. Dono ek dusre se chipke hue the, baat kar rahe the aur kabhi-kabhi kiss bhi kar lete the. Rukhsar ko dekh ke maine socha ki shayad woh mujhe introduce karwayegi, lekin woh apne boyfriend mein itni busy thi ki usne mujhe notice bhi nahi kiya. Main akeli khadi ho gayi thi.
Thodi der baad ek senior mere paas aaya. Uska naam tha Arjun. Lamba, achha build, aur baat karne ka style bahut confident tha. Woh seedha mere paas aaya aur bola, “Tu nayi lag rahi hai. Pehli baar party mein aayi hai kya?”
Maine sirf sir hila ke haan kar diya. Woh hans ke bola, “Koi baat nahi, main hoon na. Tension mat le.” Usne mujhe ek drink offer ki. Pehle toh maine mana kar diya, lekin usne kaha, “Bas ek sip, taste kar ke dekh.” Maine pi liya. Halki si garmi feel hui andar.
Arjun baat karne laga. Woh meri taarif karta raha — “Tera chehra bahut sundar hai yaar. Aur yeh gori skin… college mein log already tere baare mein baat kar rahe hain.” Main sharma rahi thi lekin andar se achha lag raha tha. Pehle kabhi kisi ne itni achhi baat nahi ki thi mere saamne.
Woh dheere-dheere aur paas aa gaya. Music tez tha isliye woh mere kaan ke paas baat kar raha tha. Uske haath kabhi-kabhi meri kamar par touch ho jaate the. Main hatati nahi thi. Rukhsar abhi bhi apne boyfriend ke saath busy thi, main akeli thi isliye Arjun ki baaton mein thodi bahut interest lene lagi.
Kuch der baad usne kaha, “Chal bahar chalte hain, yahan bahut shor hai. Thoda shaant jagah pe baat karte hain.” Maine socha… shayad nahi jaana chahiye. Lekin usne itne ache se samjhaya aur itna confident tha ki main uske saath chal padi.
Bahar ki side mein ek chhota sa garden tha. Wahan kam log the. Arjun ne mujhe wall ke saath khada kiya aur dheere se meri taraf jhuka. “Tujhe yahan kaisa lag raha hai?” usne poocha. Main kuch bol nahi paayi. Woh hans ke bola, “Main tujhe sambhal lunga. Tension mat le.”
Usne mera haath pakad liya. Main rok nahi paayi. Uske haath mein thodi si garmahat thi. Woh aur paas aa gaya. Maine aankhein band kar li thi. Usne mere hothon par halka sa kiss kiya. Pehli baar kisi ladke ne mujhe aise chhua tha. Mera dil zor se dhadak raha tha.
Woh dheere-dheere aur intense ho gaya. Maine bhi uska saath diya. Thodi der baad usne kaha, “Number de de apna. Kal milte hain, kahin bahar chalte hain.”
Maine apna number de diya.
Woh raat ke baad main wapas hostel aayi toh Rukhsar already so chuki thi. Main bistar par leti hui soch rahi thi ki aaj jo hua… yeh sab itna jaldi kaise ho gaya. Aur maine usko rok kyun nahi paya.
Arjun ka message agle din subah hi aa gaya.
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Update - 4
Subah uthkar jab maine mobile check kiya toh Arjun ke 4-5 messages the. "Good morning beautiful, kal raat ka kiss abhi bhi yaad aa raha hai, aaj shaam ko milte hain?" aur last mein likha tha ki tum itni gori aur sundar ho ki main control nahi kar paata. Padhte hi pehle toh thodi si smile aa gayi, lekin turant hi kal raat ki saari baatein yaad aa gayi – party wala deep kiss, garden mein usne mujhe deewar ke saath khada karke itna close kiya, uske haath meri kamar se neeche tak ja rahe the aur flat chalne ki baat kar rahe the. Mera dil zor se dhadakne laga. Mujhe achanak bahut ajeeb aur galat laga. Itna jaldi sab ho gaya tha. Main abhi Delhi mein nayi thi, college bhi shuru hi hua tha, aur main aise kisi ladke ke saath itna aage badh gayi thi. Ghar walon ki yaad aa gayi, Begusarai wali strict life yaad aa gayi. Maine socha ki number dekar maine galti kar di thi. Usne aur messages bheje lekin maine koi reply nahi kiya. Dil par patthar rakh kar maine uska number block kar diya aur mobile ko side mein rakh diya. Dil mein thoda dar tha lekin ek ajeeb si rahat bhi feel ho rahi thi ki maine ruk jaane ka sahi faisla liya.
Arjun ko block karne ke baad, agle do-teen hafte mere liye bade ajeeb rahe. Rukhsar us party ke baad se hi us ladke ke saath relationship mein aa gayi thi. Woh dono har waqt ek doosre ke saath rehte. Dheere-dheere Rukhsar meri life se bilkul gayab ho gayi. Pehle jo Rukhsar mujhe har doosre din market le jaati thi, hostel aake khud mera makeup karti thi — eyeliner laga deti, lipstick laga deti aur bolti, “Tera chehra doodh jaisa gora hai, ise thoda highlight karna chahiye” — woh sab ab poori tarah band ho chuka tha. Ab woh mujhe room mein bhi mushkil se hi milti thi. College ke common area mein jab bhi woh apne boyfriend ke saath hoti, mujhe dekh kar bas ek choti si formal smile de deti aur fir ignore kar deti.
Main Delhi ke is bade se college mein bilkul akeli pad gayi thi. Classes mein jo mechanical ke complex engineering design chalte, woh mujhe bilkul samajh nahi aate. Notes banana aur padhai manage karna mere liye akele mushkil ho raha tha. Main akeli hi apne purane simple kapdon mein rehti, bas hostel se college aur college se hostel karti. Jab bhi doosre couples ko haath pakad ke ghoomte dekhti, toh mujhe apne akelepan ka ehsaas aur zyada hone lagta. Aisa lagta tha ki is bade shehar mein koi mera apna nahi hai.
Phir ek raat, jab humein college shuru hue lagbhag dedh mahina ho gaya tha, Rukhsar achanak mere paas aayi. Pehle toh main hairan hui kyunki woh itne din se mujhse theek se baat bhi nahi kar rahi thi. Usne dheere se kaha, “Sangeeta, ek baat hai. Mera boyfriend aaj raat ko yahan aana chahta hai. Hostel mein koi dekh na le isliye tu bahar corridor mein thodi der guard kar degi? Please yaar, teri bahut meherbani hogi.” Maine pehle mana karna chaaha, lekin usne itna request kiya aur mujhe hamari shuruwaati dosti yaad aa gayi. Maine socha ki chalo, is bahaane shayad hamare beech ki doori thodi kam ho jaaye. Maine haan kar di.
Raat ko jab woh apne boyfriend ko chupke se room mein le aayi, main bahar corridor mein khadi ho gayi guard karne ke liye. Darwaze ke peeche se unki dheemi awaazein aur saans lene ki sound aa rahi thi. Mera dil tez dhadak raha tha. Main wahan akeli khadi thi aur soch rahi thi ki Rukhsar mujhe sirf apne kaam ke liye yaad karti hai, warna toh woh mujhe ignore hi karti rehti hai.
Lekin corridor mein khade-khade mera dhyan andar ki halchal par chala gaya. Dheere se maine darwaze ke paas jaake apna kaan laga diya. Ab unki awaazein saaf sunai de rahi thi. Rukhsar zor-zor se saans le rahi thi aur dheemi-dheemi moan kar rahi thi, uske boyfriend ki heavy breathing bhi sunai de rahi thi. Jaise-jaise main sunti gayi, mere poore badan mein ek ajeeb si garmi daudne lagi. Mere dono jaanghon ke beech ek ajeeb si wetness feel hone lagi. Main sharma gayi apne aap par, lekin kaan hatane ka mann nahi kar raha tha. Yeh sab sun ke main gili ho rahi thi jabki main unke liye guard kar rahi thi. Dil mein ek ajeeb sa conflict tha — yeh galat lag raha tha, lekin mera sharir meri marzi ke bina react kar raha tha.
Usi corridor mein khadi hokar maine apna phone nikaala. Blocked contacts mein jaake Arjun ka number dekha. Mujhe woh party wali raat yaad aayi jab usne mujhe kiss kiya tha. Main pichle teen hafton se bilkul akeli thi, koi mujhe poochne wala nahi tha, aur yahan Rukhsar room ke andar apne boyfriend ke saath maze le rahi thi. Mujhe laga ki shayad maine Arjun ko block karke jaldbaazi ki thi. Maine wahi khade-khade uska number unblock kar diya aur phone wapas pocket mein daal diya.
Kuch der baad Rukhsar ka boyfriend chala gaya. Jab main andar aayi toh room mein unke sex ki strong smell faili hui thi. Table ke upar ek used condom pada tha. Bed ki halat bilkul kharab thi – chadar uljhi hui thi, takiye idhar-udhar pade the aur mattress bhi tedha ho gaya tha. Rukhsar ke baal bikhre hue the, kapde ast-vyast the aur woh thodi si pasine se bhigi hui thi. Usne mujhe dekha aur dheere se wink kar diya. Phir jaise kuch hua hi nahi tha, woh normal ho gayi aur baat karne lagi jaise hamari dosti pehle jaisi ho. Maine gusse aur hurt mein bol hi diya, “Tu itne din se mujhe ignore kar rahi thi. Pehle market le jaati thi, makeup karti thi, ab sirf apne boyfriend ke liye yaad karti hai. Main yahan akeli feel kar rahi thi.”
Rukhsar zor se hansne lagi. Hans-hans ke boli, “Arre toh tu bhi koi boyfriend bana le na. Itna kyun sochti rehti hai? Apna bana le, phir tu bhi maze le legi.” Maine kuch nahi bola. Usne phir se hans ke kaha, “Tension mat le yaar, sab theek ho jaayega.” Uske baad woh bistar par let gayi, aankhein band kar li aur dheere-dheere so gayi. Main wahan khadi rah gayi. Room abhi bhi uski aur uske boyfriend ki smell se bhara hua tha.
Agle din jab main college gayi toh dil mein ek naya faisla le kar gayi thi. Raat bhar sochte hue maine soch liya tha ki mujhe bhi ab is akelepan se chhutkara chahiye, mujhe bhi ek boyfriend chahiye. College pahunchte hi mujhe woh super senior dikha jo pehle se hi mere peeche pada hua tha. Woh hamesha mujhe follow karta tha, class ke bahar milta tha aur baat karne ki koshish karta rehta tha. Aaj maine usko ignore nahi kiya. Jab woh mere paas aaya aur bola, “Hi Sangeeta, aaj thoda time hai kya? Kahin baith ke baat karte hain,” toh maine haan kar diya. Pehle main hamesha mana karti thi lekin aaj maine uske attempt ko agree kar liya. Usne smile karke kaha ki hum college ke andar garden mein chalte hain.
Subah uthkar jab maine mobile check kiya toh Arjun ke 4-5 messages the. "Good morning beautiful, kal raat ka kiss abhi bhi yaad aa raha hai, aaj shaam ko milte hain?" aur last mein likha tha ki tum itni gori aur sundar ho ki main control nahi kar paata. Padhte hi pehle toh thodi si smile aa gayi, lekin turant hi kal raat ki saari baatein yaad aa gayi – party wala deep kiss, garden mein usne mujhe deewar ke saath khada karke itna close kiya, uske haath meri kamar se neeche tak ja rahe the aur flat chalne ki baat kar rahe the. Mera dil zor se dhadakne laga. Mujhe achanak bahut ajeeb aur galat laga. Itna jaldi sab ho gaya tha. Main abhi Delhi mein nayi thi, college bhi shuru hi hua tha, aur main aise kisi ladke ke saath itna aage badh gayi thi. Ghar walon ki yaad aa gayi, Begusarai wali strict life yaad aa gayi. Maine socha ki number dekar maine galti kar di thi. Usne aur messages bheje lekin maine koi reply nahi kiya. Dil par patthar rakh kar maine uska number block kar diya aur mobile ko side mein rakh diya. Dil mein thoda dar tha lekin ek ajeeb si rahat bhi feel ho rahi thi ki maine ruk jaane ka sahi faisla liya.
Arjun ko block karne ke baad, agle do-teen hafte mere liye bade ajeeb rahe. Rukhsar us party ke baad se hi us ladke ke saath relationship mein aa gayi thi. Woh dono har waqt ek doosre ke saath rehte. Dheere-dheere Rukhsar meri life se bilkul gayab ho gayi. Pehle jo Rukhsar mujhe har doosre din market le jaati thi, hostel aake khud mera makeup karti thi — eyeliner laga deti, lipstick laga deti aur bolti, “Tera chehra doodh jaisa gora hai, ise thoda highlight karna chahiye” — woh sab ab poori tarah band ho chuka tha. Ab woh mujhe room mein bhi mushkil se hi milti thi. College ke common area mein jab bhi woh apne boyfriend ke saath hoti, mujhe dekh kar bas ek choti si formal smile de deti aur fir ignore kar deti.
Main Delhi ke is bade se college mein bilkul akeli pad gayi thi. Classes mein jo mechanical ke complex engineering design chalte, woh mujhe bilkul samajh nahi aate. Notes banana aur padhai manage karna mere liye akele mushkil ho raha tha. Main akeli hi apne purane simple kapdon mein rehti, bas hostel se college aur college se hostel karti. Jab bhi doosre couples ko haath pakad ke ghoomte dekhti, toh mujhe apne akelepan ka ehsaas aur zyada hone lagta. Aisa lagta tha ki is bade shehar mein koi mera apna nahi hai.
Phir ek raat, jab humein college shuru hue lagbhag dedh mahina ho gaya tha, Rukhsar achanak mere paas aayi. Pehle toh main hairan hui kyunki woh itne din se mujhse theek se baat bhi nahi kar rahi thi. Usne dheere se kaha, “Sangeeta, ek baat hai. Mera boyfriend aaj raat ko yahan aana chahta hai. Hostel mein koi dekh na le isliye tu bahar corridor mein thodi der guard kar degi? Please yaar, teri bahut meherbani hogi.” Maine pehle mana karna chaaha, lekin usne itna request kiya aur mujhe hamari shuruwaati dosti yaad aa gayi. Maine socha ki chalo, is bahaane shayad hamare beech ki doori thodi kam ho jaaye. Maine haan kar di.
Raat ko jab woh apne boyfriend ko chupke se room mein le aayi, main bahar corridor mein khadi ho gayi guard karne ke liye. Darwaze ke peeche se unki dheemi awaazein aur saans lene ki sound aa rahi thi. Mera dil tez dhadak raha tha. Main wahan akeli khadi thi aur soch rahi thi ki Rukhsar mujhe sirf apne kaam ke liye yaad karti hai, warna toh woh mujhe ignore hi karti rehti hai.
Lekin corridor mein khade-khade mera dhyan andar ki halchal par chala gaya. Dheere se maine darwaze ke paas jaake apna kaan laga diya. Ab unki awaazein saaf sunai de rahi thi. Rukhsar zor-zor se saans le rahi thi aur dheemi-dheemi moan kar rahi thi, uske boyfriend ki heavy breathing bhi sunai de rahi thi. Jaise-jaise main sunti gayi, mere poore badan mein ek ajeeb si garmi daudne lagi. Mere dono jaanghon ke beech ek ajeeb si wetness feel hone lagi. Main sharma gayi apne aap par, lekin kaan hatane ka mann nahi kar raha tha. Yeh sab sun ke main gili ho rahi thi jabki main unke liye guard kar rahi thi. Dil mein ek ajeeb sa conflict tha — yeh galat lag raha tha, lekin mera sharir meri marzi ke bina react kar raha tha.
Usi corridor mein khadi hokar maine apna phone nikaala. Blocked contacts mein jaake Arjun ka number dekha. Mujhe woh party wali raat yaad aayi jab usne mujhe kiss kiya tha. Main pichle teen hafton se bilkul akeli thi, koi mujhe poochne wala nahi tha, aur yahan Rukhsar room ke andar apne boyfriend ke saath maze le rahi thi. Mujhe laga ki shayad maine Arjun ko block karke jaldbaazi ki thi. Maine wahi khade-khade uska number unblock kar diya aur phone wapas pocket mein daal diya.
Kuch der baad Rukhsar ka boyfriend chala gaya. Jab main andar aayi toh room mein unke sex ki strong smell faili hui thi. Table ke upar ek used condom pada tha. Bed ki halat bilkul kharab thi – chadar uljhi hui thi, takiye idhar-udhar pade the aur mattress bhi tedha ho gaya tha. Rukhsar ke baal bikhre hue the, kapde ast-vyast the aur woh thodi si pasine se bhigi hui thi. Usne mujhe dekha aur dheere se wink kar diya. Phir jaise kuch hua hi nahi tha, woh normal ho gayi aur baat karne lagi jaise hamari dosti pehle jaisi ho. Maine gusse aur hurt mein bol hi diya, “Tu itne din se mujhe ignore kar rahi thi. Pehle market le jaati thi, makeup karti thi, ab sirf apne boyfriend ke liye yaad karti hai. Main yahan akeli feel kar rahi thi.”
Rukhsar zor se hansne lagi. Hans-hans ke boli, “Arre toh tu bhi koi boyfriend bana le na. Itna kyun sochti rehti hai? Apna bana le, phir tu bhi maze le legi.” Maine kuch nahi bola. Usne phir se hans ke kaha, “Tension mat le yaar, sab theek ho jaayega.” Uske baad woh bistar par let gayi, aankhein band kar li aur dheere-dheere so gayi. Main wahan khadi rah gayi. Room abhi bhi uski aur uske boyfriend ki smell se bhara hua tha.
Agle din jab main college gayi toh dil mein ek naya faisla le kar gayi thi. Raat bhar sochte hue maine soch liya tha ki mujhe bhi ab is akelepan se chhutkara chahiye, mujhe bhi ek boyfriend chahiye. College pahunchte hi mujhe woh super senior dikha jo pehle se hi mere peeche pada hua tha. Woh hamesha mujhe follow karta tha, class ke bahar milta tha aur baat karne ki koshish karta rehta tha. Aaj maine usko ignore nahi kiya. Jab woh mere paas aaya aur bola, “Hi Sangeeta, aaj thoda time hai kya? Kahin baith ke baat karte hain,” toh maine haan kar diya. Pehle main hamesha mana karti thi lekin aaj maine uske attempt ko agree kar liya. Usne smile karke kaha ki hum college ke andar garden mein chalte hain.
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Update - 5
Uska naam Deepak tha. Deepak Tiwari. Woh mechanical engineering ka senior tha. Maine pehle usse zyada notice nahi kiya tha — bas itna pata tha ki woh hamesha mujhe ghoorta rehta tha. Kabhi class ke bahar dikh jaata tha, kabhi canteen mein do table door baitha hota tha meri taraf dekhte hue. Ek-do baar usne seedha aake bola bhi tha — "Notes chahiye toh bol dena, mere paas sab hain." Maine tab "haan theek hai" bol ke taal diya tha. Lekin ab haalat alag thi.
Rukhsar ke apne boyfriend ke saath busy hone aur mujhe corridor mein guard khada karne ke baad se mera mann bahut udas rehta tha. Main Delhi ke is bade se college mein khud ko bilkul akeli aur insecure feel karti thi. Arjun ko block-unblock toh kar diya tha, lekin message karne ki himmat nahi thi. Mujhe bas koi aisa chahiye tha jo mujhse baat kare, mujhe importance de. Main ek aisi willing target ban chuki thi jise thode se attention ki zaroorat thi.
Toh jab agle din Deepak mere paas aaya aur bola, "Hi Sangeeta, aaj thoda time hai kya? Kahin baith ke baat karte hain?" — maine pehli baar usse mana nahi kiya.
Dekha toh — Deepak dikhne mein koi hero nahi tha. Average height, thoda sa mota, daadhi ke baal idhar-udhar, kapde bhi kuch khaas nahi the. Lekin uski awaaz mein ek softness thi. Arjun jab baat karta tha toh lagta tha jaise order de raha hai. Deepak ki awaaz mein ek tarah ka warmth tha — jaise ghar pe mummy chai dete waqt bolti hai, "baith, pi le." Non-threatening. Safe.
"Haan chal," maine bola.
Woh mujhe college ke andar hi garden area mein le gaya — wahan kuch benches thi, ped ki chhaanv, thandi hawa. Achhi jagah thi. Hum baith gaye aur Deepak ne baat shuru ki. Woh meri baaton ko bade dhyan se sun raha tha. Matlab aise nahi ki bas "hmm hmm" kar raha tha aur phone dekh raha tha — nahi. Woh meri aankhon mein dekh ke sun raha tha, beech mein sawaal pooch raha tha, meri baaton par react kar raha tha.
"Tu Begusarai se hai? Achha, wahan kaisa hai? Yahan Delhi mein adjust ho rahi hai ya mushkil ho raha hai?"
Itne simple sawaal the. Lekin mujhe itne dino se kisi ne poochha hi nahi tha ki main kaisi hoon. Rukhsar pehle poochti thi, ab nahi. Class mein koi meri friend nahi bani thi. Ghar par phone pe bas "sab theek hai" bol ke kaat deti thi. Aur yahan Deepak mujhse pooch raha tha ki main kaisi hoon.
Main bolne lagi — thoda sa. Delhi aake kaisa laga, hostel ki life kaisi hai, mechanical branch mein ladkiyan kitni kam hain. Zyada personal kuch nahi bola — abhi itna trust nahi tha. Lekin Deepak ne aise suna jaise main koi bahut interesting baat bata rahi hoon.
"Haan yaar, mech mein toh ladkiyan hoti hi kam hain. Mere batch mein bhi bas 4-5 thi," usne bola. "Lekin tu tension mat le — dheere-dheere sab set ho jaayega. Aur ab main hoon na, kuch bhi chahiye toh bol dena."
"Ab main hoon na." Chhoti si line thi. Lekin akele rehte-rehte itni chhoti si baat bhi achhi lagti hai.
Hum ek ghanta baithe rahe. Itni lambi baat maine Delhi aake kisi se nahi ki thi. Uthne lage toh Deepak bola — "Bahut maza aaya yaar tujhse baat karke. Kal bhi milein?"
"Haan, kyun nahi."
Woh smile karke chala gaya. Aur main soch rahi thi — kitna achha ladka hai. Seedha hai, simple hai.
---
Agle din Deepak phir mila. Same jagah, same bench. Lekin aaj uske haath mein do coffee ke cups the — paper cups, college ke bahar waali shop ke.
"Maine socha tu coffee peeti hogi," usne smile karke bola.
Yaar, itni chhoti si cheez thi — lekin mera dil pighal gaya. Kisi ne meri preference ke baare mein socha. Koi mere liye pehle se jaake kuch le aaya. Begusarai mein toh ghar pe bhi mummy ko bolna padta tha "chai de do" — yahan ek ladka khud se le aaya mere liye. Main toh jaise thodi si attention ke liye pehle se hi tarse baithi thi.
"Thanks yaar," maine sachchi mein khush hoke bola.
Aaj Deepak ne thodi apni bhi sunaai. Bataya ki UP se hai, papa sarkari school mein teacher hain, ghar ki halat zyada achhi nahi hai, aur woh ek subject mein reh gaya tha isliye ek saal extra lag gaya. (Deepak ne badi chalaki se apne failure ko chhupa liya tha, jagki sach toh yeh tha ki woh do saal peeche chal raha tha).
Mujhe uski baat sunke thoda connect feel hua. Main bhi toh chhote shehar se aayi thi. Mere ghar ki halat bhi koi Ambani nahi thi. Aur padhai mein main bhi toh average hi thi. Hum dono kaafi similar the — ya mujhe aisa laga.
Phir usne meri taareef ki — lekin alag tarah se. "Sangeeta, tujhe ek baat bolun? Tera chehra bahut innocent hai yaar. Aajkal college mein sab ladkiyan itni fake hain — makeup ke peeche chhupa ke rakhti hain apne aap ko. Tu bilkul natural hai, genuine hai. Bahut achha lagta hai."
Kisi ne meri skin ya figure ki nahi — meri "innocence" ki taareef ki. Mujhe laga yeh ladka sachchi mein alag hai. Baaki ladke toh bas gori hai gori hai karte rehte hain. Deepak ne kaha ki main genuine hoon. Sangeeta Rai, jo khud ko dilli ki modern ladkiyon ke saamne insecure feel karti thi, aaj thoda sharmayi aur bahut khush hui.
---
Teesre din. Chauthe din. Paanchve din. Hum roz milne lage. Deepak ne thode se effort se hi mujhe poori tarah se jeet liya tha. Main waise hi akelepan se tang aayi hui thi, toh maine uske har attempt ko khushi-khushi accept kiya.
Aur Deepak — usne apni ek alag duniya bana di mere around. Subah aankh khulte hi phone pe message hota — "Good morning Sangeeta
Tera din bahut achha jaaye baby." Pehle "Sangeeta" tha, phir dheere se "baby" aa gaya — kabhi pata hi nahi chala kab aaya. College mein milte hi Dairy Milk ki chhoti chocolate deta — "Tere liye baby." Break mein message — "Bore ho raha hoon class mein. Bas tere baare mein soch raha hoon 
." Shaam ko milke baat, coffee pilaata, meri baatein sunta, mujhe hasata.
Yaar, kya bataaun — mera toh poora din Deepak ke around ghoomne laga. Pehle main akeli thi — ab main akeli nahi thi. Deepak ne woh khaalipan poori tarah bhar diya tha.
Aur touch bhi shuru hua — bahut naturally. Pehle baat karte waqt uski ungliyaan meri ungliyon ko halka sa touch karti thi — jaise galti se. Mujhe pata chalta tha lekin bura nahi lagta tha. Phir ek din usne mera haath pakad liya — dheere se, softly. Maine nahi hataya. Uska haath garam tha aur uski grip mein ek confidence tha jaise use aadat ho haath pakadne ki. Mujhe achha laga. Bahut achha laga.
College mein log dekhne lage. Ek din hum canteen mein the toh maine do ladkiyon ko dheere-dheere baat karte suna — "Yeh freshie Sangeeta, Deepak ke saath ghoom rahi hai kya?" Mujhe laga senior hai toh log notice kar rahe hain.
Lekin Rukhsar ne ek raat hostel mein poochha — "Tu sach mein us Deepu repeat ke saath hai? Sangeeta, tera taste toh dekh. Pichle do saal se fail ho raha hai woh, aur tu uske peeche pagal hai."
Yeh sunte hi mera dil dhak se reh gaya. Mujhe pehli baar pata chala ki woh super senior hai aur uske kai saare back papers hain. Lekin main itni insecure thi aur uski dosti khone se itna darrti thi ki maine apni dosti ko defend karne ke liye Rukhsar par hi attack kar diya.
"Jaise tera boyfriend? Jo chhup ke hostel mein aata hai?" maine seedha bol diya.
Rukhsar chup ho gayi. Karwat le ke so gayi. Uske baad usne mujhe Deepak ke baare mein kabhi kuch nahi bola. Aur maine bhi is baat ko dil mein daba diya — mujhe farak nahi pdta tha ki woh kitne saal repeat kar chuka hai, mere liye toh bas uska attention aur pyar hi sab kuch tha.
---
Paanchve din Deepak ne mujhse propose kiya. Hum bench par baithe the, shaam ka waqt, suraj doob raha tha. Deepak ne mera haath pakda aur meri aankhon mein seedha dekha.
"Sangeeta, mujhe tujhse kuch kehna hai."
Mera dil dhadakne laga. Mujhe pata tha kya aane wala hai. Darr rahi thi aur excited bhi thi.
"Main jaanta hoon ki main koi bahut bada banda nahi hoon. Padhai mein average hoon, paise nahi hain, status nahi hai. Lekin ek cheez hai jo main de sakta hoon — apna dil. Sangeeta, main tujhse pyar karta hoon. Pehli nazar se. Jab se tune college mein pehla kadam rakha, tabse. Kya tu meri girlfriend banegi?"
Meri saans ruk gayi. Zindagi mein pehli baar koi ladka meri aankhon mein dekhke bol raha tha ki woh mujhse pyar karta hai.
"Deepak, yeh bahut jaldi nahi hai? Abhi toh hum mile—"
"Pyar mein time nahi lagta baby. Jab hota hai toh hota hai. Aur mujhe hua hai."
Meri aankhon mein thoda paani aa gaya. Main toh bas is akelepan se bhagna chahti thi, aur Deepak ne mujhe woh rasta de diya tha.
"Haan," maine bola.
Deepak ki aankhein chamak uthi. Usne mera haath chuma — haan bhai, haath chuma, jaise films mein hota hai. "Tu meri zindagi hai Sangeeta. Main tujhe kabhi hurt nahi karunga. Pakka promise."
Us raat hostel mein bed par leti-leti main has rahi thi akele mein. Mera boyfriend hai. MERA boyfriend. Sangeeta Rai ka boyfriend hai. Begusarai ki ladki ka pehla boyfriend. Deepak Tiwari. Haan, college mein log usse Deepu repeat bolte hain, haan, do saal peeche chal raha hai, lekin woh mujhse pyar karta hai — aur mere liye yehi kaafi hai.
---
Boyfriend banne ke baad Deepak aur bhi zyada caring ho gaya. Ab woh mera bag uthata tha college mein, break mein mere liye khaana lekar aata tha, baarish mein apna chhata deta tha, raat ko phone par ghanton baat karta tha. Mujhe lagta tha ki duniya ka sabse achha boyfriend mujhe mila hai.
Aur ab woh mujhe coffee shops mein le jaane laga — CCD mein. Hum baith ke cappuccino peete the aur baat karte the ghanton. Deepak ki baatein ab aur bade level ki ho gayi thi. Woh mujhe "future" dikhata tha —
"Baby, jab meri placement lag jaayegi na, sabse pehle tere liye ek achha sa phone launga. Phir hum dono Goa chalenge."
"Tujhe pata hai, jab pehli baar tujhe dekha tha college mein — main apne dost se bol chuka tha ki is ladki se shaadi karunga."
Shaadi. Woh shaadi ki baat kar raha tha. Matlab yeh serious hai — timepass nahi hai. Mujhe apne akelepan aur insecurity ke beech bahut secure feel hua. Yeh ladka mujhse shaadi karna chahta hai. Yeh sachcha pyar hai. (Lekin main yeh nahi samajh paa rahi thi ki yeh sab uski badi-babi baatein thi jo woh har ladki se kehta hoga, uska asli nishana toh kuch aur hi tha).
Aur touch bhi badh raha tha — dheere-dheere. Coffee shop mein table ke neeche uski taang meri taang se lagi rehti thi. Bench par baithe toh uska haath meri kamar par hota tha. Hug lamba hone laga — 5 second se 10 second, 10 se 20. Aur har hug mein woh mujhe tight pakadta tha — uski chhaati mein mera chehra hota tha, uske perfume ki smell aati thi (sasta tha lekin mujhe achha lagta tha), aur uski heartbeat sunai deti thi.
---
Pehle hafte ke aakhri din — pehla kiss.
Hum college ke peeche wale ground mein the. Bench par baithe, shaam ka waqt. Deepak baat kar raha tha — achanak ruka. Meri taraf dekha. Uski aankhon mein kuch tha jo maine pehle nahi dekha tha — ek intensity.
"Sangeeta, tu aaj bahut sundar dikh rahi hai."
Phir woh dheere se mere paas aaya. Uska haath mere gaal par aaya — halka sa, jaise hawa ka jhonka. Usne mera chehra apni taraf ghuma liya aur apne hoth mere hothon par rakh diye.
Aur — yaar kya bataaun — woh kiss. Woh kiss bilkul alag thi kisi bhi cheez se jo maine pehle feel ki thi. Arjun ne party mein kiss kiya tha — woh aggressive tha, jaise usne attack kiya ho mere muh par. Deepak ki kiss — slow thi, soft thi. Usne pehle sirf mere hothon ko chua — halka sa, jaise test kar raha ho. Phir dheere se uski zubaan aayi — lekin aise nahi jaise Arjun ne poora muh andar ghusa diya tha — nahi, Deepak ki zubaan halke se mere lips ke beech aayi, tease kiya, phir chali gayi. Phir wapas aayi. Usne mere neeche wale hoth ko apne hothon ke beech liya aur dheere se chusa.
Mera poora sharir ek baar kaanp gaya. Ek current sa daud gaya neeche se upar tak. Meri aankhein apne aap band ho gayi aur main usmein doob gayi.
Jab kiss khatam hui — pata nahi kitni der baad, time ka hosh hi nahi raha — main thodi breathless thi. Deepak muskura raha tha — ek aisi muskaan jo confident thi lekin arrogant nahi.
"Wow," maine bola bina soche.
Deepak has diya. "Tere saath sab kuch wow hai baby."
Main sharma ke neeche dekhne lagi. Andar se soch rahi thi — itni achhi kiss? Arjun bhi toh senior tha, supposedly experienced — lekin uski kiss mein woh baat nahi thi jo Deepak ki mein thi. Deepak ki kiss mein ek control tha, ek rhythm tha, jaise use pata tha ki exactly kya karna hai. Shayad kuch logon mein naturally hota hai — jaise kisi ki awaaz achhi hoti hai bina seekhe, waise hi shayad Deepak ko kissing naturally aati thi.
Ya shayad nahi. Lekin us waqt maine itna nahi socha. Main toh bas uske pyaar ke nashe mein thi.
---
Uske baad — kiss daily hone lagi. Aur har din thodi aur intense. Deepak ka muh jaise magic tha — woh har baar kuch naya karta tha. Kabhi meri upar wali lip chusta, kabhi neeche wali. Kabhi zubaan se khelta, kabhi sirf hothon se. Kabhi dheema karta, kabhi tez. Mera sharir har baar react karta tha — aankhein band, saans tez, neeche garmi.
Aur saath mein uske haath bhi chalne lage. Lekin bahut dheere-dheere — itna dheere ki mujhe kabhi aisa nahi laga ki woh kuch galat kar raha hai.
Pehle din — kiss ke waqt haath meri kamar par. Warm, firm. Achha laga.
Doosre din — kamar se thoda upar. Ribs ke paas. Close tha lekin wahi nahi. Mujhe pata tha ki woh khaan ja raha hai — lekin woh wahan nahi gaya. Tease.
Teesre din — kiss intense chal rahi thi aur uska haath achanak mere boob ke side ko brush kar gaya. Ek second ke liye. Phir wapas kamar par. Maine kuch nahi bola — kyunki woh ek second achha laga tha.
Chauthe din — ab brush nahi tha. Deepak ka haath seedha mere boob par aaya — kurti ke upar se. Usne dheere se dabaya. Main kuch bhi nahi boli — bas kiss karti rahi. Uski ungliyon ne mere boob ko touch kiya kapde ke upar se aur mera sharir garam ho raha tha.
"Deepak..." maine bola.
"Hmm?" Kiss nahi roki usne.
"Koi dekh lega yahan..."
"Koi nahi hai baby. Chill kar."
Usne mujhe "baby" bola aur main chup ho gayi. Ab main notice karne lagi thi ki jab bhi Deepak "baby" bolta tha — mera dil pighal jaata tha aur main kuch bhi mana nahi kar paati thi. Woh shabd meri kamzori ban gaya tha. (Deepak jaise meri is insecurity ko achhe se samajhta tha, tabhi toh har baar apni baat manwane ke liye 'baby' ka sahara leta tha).
Us raat hostel mein leti-leti main soch rahi thi — aaj Deepak ne mera boob touch kiya. Kapdon ke upar se hi sahi, lekin kiya. Aur mujhe achha laga tha. Bahut achha laga tha. Meri body abhi bhi uski yaad mein garam thi. Neeche woh garmi thi jo aajkal roz hoti thi — lekin aaj zyada thi.
Main Deepak ke baare mein soch rahi thi — uska kiss, uska touch, uski "baby" wali awaaz. Yeh sab mere liye itna naya tha, itna intoxicating tha ki main pagal si ho rahi thi. Din mein usse milne ka wait karti thi, raat ko uski yaad mein soti thi.
---
Doosra hafta shuru hua. Deepak ne naya plan bataya.
"Baby, mera ek dost hai Sanjay — woh semester break par gaon gaya hai. Uska room khaali pada hai college ke paas. Main wahan reh raha hoon thode din. Tu aayegi kabhi? Wahan achhe se baith ke baat karenge, music lagaayenge, main tere liye kuch bana ke khilaaunga."
Room par jaana. Mujhe pata tha ki room par jaana matlab privacy. Privacy matlab... pata nahi kya. Thoda dar laga. Lekin Deepak ne itna casually bola tha ki lagta tha bas baith ke baat karna hai sachchi mein. Aur uski caring, uska attention, uski "baby baby" ki baatein — mujhe uspar poora trust ho gaya tha. Deepak mera boyfriend hai, woh mujhse pyar karta hai, woh mujhe hurt nahi karega. Main ek tarah se uski baaton mein poori tarah fans chuki thi.
"Theek hai, kal aaungi."
---
Deepak ka room — matlab Sanjay ka room — ek chhoti si gali mein tha, college se das minute door. Room chhota tha — single bed, ek table, plastic ki kursi, ek purana pankha jo ghrrr ghrrr karta tha. Lekin Deepak ne achha set up kiya tha — bed ki chaddar saaf thi, ek chhote bluetooth speaker par halka sa gaana chal raha tha, agarbatti jal rahi thi jisse room mein achhi khushbu aa rahi thi, aur ek chhoti si fairy light lagayi thi jisse soft sa ujaala aa raha tha. Chhota room tha lekin cozy lag raha tha.
"Baith na baby, Maggi banata hoon tere liye," Deepak ne has ke bola.
Maggi. Mere liye Maggi bana raha hai apne chhote se room mein. Mujhe yeh sab bahut cute laga — kitna achha boyfriend hai mera.
Hum bed par baithe — koi aur jagah thi bhi nahi. Maggi khayi, baatein ki, haste rahe. Speaker par gaana chal raha tha. Deepak ne beech mein mera haath pakad liya aur meri ungliyon se khelta raha. Sab kuch perfect tha.
Phir Deepak ne kiss kiya. Pehle halka — waise hi jaise hamesha shuru karta tha. Phir dheere-dheere deep hoti gayi. Uska kiss har baar naya kuch karta tha mere sharir ke saath — meri saans tez ho jaati thi, mera dil dhadakta tha, aur neeche ek garmi feel hoti thi jo roz badhti ja rahi thi.
Kiss karte-karte uske haath mere boobs par aaye — ab tak yeh routine ho chuka tha toh mujhe koi tension nahi thi. Lekin aaj Deepak ruka nahi wahi par. Kiss karte-karte usne meri kurti ka nichla hissa pakda aur dheere se upar ki taraf kheencha.
Meri saans ek second ke liye ruk gayi. "Deepak—"
"Shh baby. Main hoon na. Trust me," usne meri aankhon mein dekh ke bola. Uski awaaz mein ek tarah ka bharosa tha — jaise bol raha ho ki sab theek hai, mujh par chhod de.
Aur maine chhod diya. Maine haath upar kar diye aur usne meri kurti utar di. Main uske saamne bra mein thi. Thodi sharm aa rahi thi.
Deepak ne mujhe dekha. "Tu bahut sundar hai baby," usne bola — aur uski awaaz mein ek garmahat thi jo mujhe andar tak feel hui.
Usne peeche haath le jaake meri bra ka hook khola — ek try mein. Itni asaani se, itna smooth — jaise pehle se jaanta ho ki hook kahan hai aur kaise khulta hai. Mujhe thoda surprise hua — mujhe toh khud apni bra ka hook kholne mein kabhi-kabhi do try lagte hain, aur Deepak ne ek mein khol diya.
Jab bra utri aur mere nange boobs uske saamne the — Deepak ki nazar wahi tik gayi. "Oh god Sangeeta..." usne dheere se bola, jaise sachchi mein impressed ho. Mujhe sharm bhi aa rahi thi aur achha bhi lag raha tha — meri gori chaatiyon par uski nazar thi aur uski aankhon mein mujhe admiration dekhne ko mil raha tha.
Phir Deepak ne apna muh mere boobs par rakha. Aur — yaar — yeh toh bilkul alag level tha. Rukhsar ke boyfriend ki awaazein sunke maine imagine kiya tha ki yeh kaisa hota hoga — lekin reality mein yeh imagination se hazaar guna achha tha. Deepak ki zubaan garam thi aur woh mere nipple ko halke se circle kar raha tha — dheere-dheere, jaise tease kar raha ho. Phir usne dheere se chusa — itna perfect pressure ke saath ki meri peeth apne aap arch ho gayi. Phir usne halka sa kaata — itna halka ki dard nahi hua, bas ek electric sa shock gaya mere sharir mein seedha neeche tak. Phir doosri taraf chala gaya aur wahi kiya.
Mera sharir pagal ho raha tha. Aise react kar raha tha jaise pehle kabhi nahi kiya tha. Meri saans tez thi, meri aankhein band thi, aur neeche — neeche main itni wet ho rahi thi ki panty gili ho gayi thi.
Phir Deepak ka haath neeche aaya — meri pet se guzarta hua, dheere-dheere, meri jeans ke button tak. Woh button ke saath khela thodi der — ungli se halka dabaya, phir chhoda.
"Deepak, nahi..." maine bola. Lekin meri awaaz mein woh "nahi" nahi thi jo sachchi mein mana karne wali hoti hai. Woh toh bas sharm ke maare bol rahi thi. Deepak ko pata chal gaya — ya shayad usse pehle se pata tha.
"Baby, bas thoda sa. Main tujhe achha feel karaaunga. Trust me na."
Maine uska haath roka. "Aaj nahi Deepak. Please."
Deepak turant ruk gaya. "Theek hai baby, koi issue nahi. Jab tu chahegi. Main koi rush nahi kar raha." Usne meri aankh mein dekha aur smile ki — itni genuine lagi ki mujhe apne aap par hi gussa aa gaya ki maine kyun roka.
Woh wapas mere boobs par chala gaya aur main aankhein band karke enjoy karti rahi. Room mein halka gaana chal raha tha, agarbatti ki khushbu thi, aur Deepak ka garam muh mere boobs par tha. Us moment mein — mujhe laga ki duniya mein sab sahi hai.
Baad mein jab hum kapde pehan ke Maggi kha rahe the, Deepak ne ek baat boli jo mere dil mein baith gayi — "Sangeeta baby, main tujhse kabhi koi aisi cheez nahi karunga jo tu nahi chahti. Tera comfort meri sabse badi priority hai. Tu meri jaan hai."
Meri jaan. Mere aankh mein paani aa gaya. Kitna achha hai yeh ladka. Itna samajhdaar, itna patient. Koi aur hota toh shaayad zabardasti karta ya naraz ho jaata. Lekin Deepak — Deepak ne seedha bol diya ki koi rush nahi hai. Mujhe laga ki mujhe sachchi mein duniya ka sabse achha boyfriend mila hai.
Us raat hostel mein leti-leti main soch rahi thi — aaj maine Deepak ko roka. Lekin main chahti toh nahi rok paati. Uski ungliyaan jab mere jeans ke button ke paas aayi thi — mera poora sharir chahta tha ki woh aage jaaye. Lekin dimaag ne roka. Lekin ab dimaag bhi keh raha tha — kyun roka? Deepak tera boyfriend hai. Woh tujhse pyar karta hai. Toh kya galat hai?
---
Agle din. Room par phir gayi. Ab toh aana-jaana regular hone laga tha.
Same routine — gaana, agarbatti, Maggi (aaj omelette banaya usne — upgrade), baatein, hansi. Phir kiss. Top utri. Bra utri — phir ek try mein, smooth. Uska muh mere boobs par — ab mujhe aadat hone lagi thi is feeling ki lekin har baar naya lagta tha.
Aaj Deepak ka haath phir neeche aaya. Lekin aaj usne jeans ka button nahi khola — woh jeans ke upar se apna haath mere neeche le gaya aur dheere se press kiya.
"Aahh..." mere muh se nikal gaya.
Jeans ke upar se bhi uski ungliyon ka pressure feel ho raha tha — aur sahi jagah par. Deepak ko pata tha — pata nahi kaise, lekin use pata tha ki kahan touch karna hai. Woh jeans ke upar se hi slow circles mein rub karne laga. Dheere-dheere. Uska doosra haath mere boob par tha aur muh mere gale par — kiss kar raha tha, chaat raha tha.
Main pagal ho rahi thi. Mere muh se awaazein nikal rahi thi jo meri apni nahi lag rahi thi. "Aahh... Deepak... haan..."
"Jeans khol doon baby?" Deepak ne mere kaan mein poocha, uski garam saans mere kaan par lagi.
Iss baar maine nahi roka. "Haan..."
Deepak ne meri jeans ka button khola, zip kheenchi, aur dheere se neeche ki. Main leti thi — panty mein. Gili panty mein.
Uski ungliyaan meri panty ke upar se chalin — meri chut ke upar, dheere-dheere. "Baby, tu toh poori gili hai," usne bola. Mujhe sharm aa rahi thi lekin saath mein ek ajeeb sa pride bhi — mera sharir react kar raha hai, iska matlab main bhi normal hoon, main bhi un ladkiyon jaisi hoon jo sab kuch feel karti hain.
Phir Deepak ki ungliyaan meri panty ke andar gayi. Jab uski ungli meri nangi chut par lagi — seedha — toh mera sharir ek jhatke se tense ho gaya. "Aaahh!" Itna direct touch pehle kabhi nahi hua tha. Raat ko jab main khud touch karti thi — woh bhi aisa nahi feel hota tha. Deepak ki ungliyaan alag thi — confident thi, firm thi, aur unhe pata tha ki kahan jaana hai.
Uski ungli meri clit par aayi aur circle karne lagi — perfect rhythm mein, perfect pressure mein. Na bahut tez na bahut dheema. Kaise pata tha use? Main toh khud nahi jaanti thi ki meri body ko kya chahiye — lekin Deepak ko pata tha. Phir uski ek ungli dheere se andar gayi — thoda dard hua, lekin saath mein ek nayi feeling bhi jo describe nahi ho sakti. Thodi der baad doosri ungli bhi.
"Achha lag raha hai baby?" Deepak ne poocha.
Main sirf sir hila paayi. Bolne ki haalat nahi thi. Meri saans itni tez thi ki words nahi nikal rahe the.
Deepak ne bahut der tak mujhe aise touch kiya. Woh clit aur andar dono par kaam kar raha tha. Uski speed badh rahi thi mere response ke saath — jab main zyada moan karti thi toh woh tez karta tha, jab main saans rokti thi toh dheema karta tha. Jaise mera sharir ek instrument hai aur woh use baja raha hai.
Phir ek wave aayi. Neeche se shuru hui — meri chut se, pet se, aur poore sharir mein faili. Meri tangein akad gayi, meri peeth uth gayi bed se, mere muh se ek awaaz nikli jo maine apne aap se pehle kabhi nahi suni thi — "AAAHHH DEEPAK!" Meri aankhein band thi aur mere poore badan mein jaise bijli daud gayi. Phir ek second mein sab loose ho gaya — meri tangein kaanpin, mera sharir dheela pada, aur main bed par gir gayi jaise sari jaan nikal gayi ho.
Main haanph rahi thi. Pasina tha. Baal bikhre the. Tangon ke beech gila tha. Aur main ceiling ko dekh rahi thi soch rahi thi — YEH KYA THA?
Raat ko jab main khud ko touch karti thi — woh kuch bhi nahi tha iske saamne. Yeh toh... yeh toh bilkul alag duniya thi. Aise feel kabhi nahi hua tha. KABHI nahi.
Deepak mere baaju mein let gaya aur mera sar apni chhaati par rakh liya. "Kaisa laga baby?"
"Bahut... bahut achha..." main abhi bhi saans le rahi thi, dhang se bol nahi paa rahi thi.
"Tere liye kuch bhi baby."
Main uski chhaati par leti rahi. Uski heartbeat sun rahi thi — tez thi lekin steady. Mujhe laga ki main duniya ki sabse lucky ladki hoon. Mera boyfriend mujhe aise feel karata hai jaise... jaise kuch describe nahi ho sakta. Padhai mein bhale hi peeche ho, lekin in sab cheezon mein toh woh kisi professor se kam nahi tha.
Aur haan, mujhe thoda ajeeb laga ki Deepak itna achha kaise kar leta hai — itna confident, itna skilled. Kabhi ek baar bhi galat jagah nahi chua, kabhi awkward nahi hua. Jaise pehle se jaanta ho meri body ko. Lekin maine yeh thought jaldi se hata diya — mujhe toh bas uski baahon mein surakshit mehsoos karna tha.
Us din actual sex nahi hua. Deepak ne khud se kuch nahi maanga — usne sirf mujhe orgasm diya. Main hostel wapas aayi toh Rukhsar so rahi thi. Main bed par leti aur abhi bhi us feeling ke nashe mein thi. Mera poora sharir gunguna raha tha. Neend aane mein der lagi kyunki jab bhi aankh band karti thi, Deepak ki ungliyaan yaad aa jaati thi aur phir se neeche garmi hone lagti thi.
Main soch rahi thi — agar sirf ungliyon se itna hua, toh aage kya hoga?
---
Agle din. Phir room.
Aaj main khud se jaana chahti thi. Class khatam hote hi message kiya — "Room aa rahi hoon." Deepak ka reply — "Aa jaa baby, darwaaza khula hai."
Aaj ka session pehle jaisa hi shuru hua — kiss, boobs, fingering. Lekin aaj Deepak ne kuch naya kiya. Jab main orgasm ke kareeb thi — meri saans tez thi, meri awaaz nikal rahi thi — Deepak achanak neeche chala gaya.
"Deepak kya kar—"
"Shh baby, let me."
Aur uska muh neeche pahunch gaya, meri chut par. Jab uski zubaan lagi —
OH. MY. GOD.
Yeh toh — yeh toh ungliyon se bhi hazaar guna zyada tha. Deepak ki zubaan garam thi, geeli thi, aur woh jaanta tha ki kahan lagaani hai. Woh meri clit par circles kar raha tha — apni zubaan se, kabhi dheere kabhi tez. Kabhi halka sa chusta tha, kabhi zubaan flat karke poora area cover karta tha, kabhi zubaan ki nok se seedha clit par dab deta tha.
Main — main control nahi kar paayi. Mera haath uske sar par gaya aur maine uske baal pakad liye. Meri tangein uske sar ke dono taraf thin aur main apna hip utha rahi thi uske muh ki taraf — jaise aur chahti hoon, aur zyada, aur close. Mere muh se awaazein nikal rahi thi jo main rok nahi paa rahi thi — "aahh... Deepak... wahi... haan wahi... mat ruk... PLEASE MAT RUK..."
Please mat ruk. Main bheekh maang rahi thi. Sangeeta Rai — Begusarai ki seedhi ladki, gori chamdi wali, jisko ladkon se baat karne mein sharm aati thi — woh ek chhote se room mein, ek repeat senior ke muh par apni chut rakh ke bheekh maang rahi thi ki ruk mat.
Aur Deepak ruka nahi. Usne aur tez kiya. Uski zubaan aur deep gayi, uski lips ne meri clit ko pakda aur chusna shuru kiya — steady, rhythmic, relentless.
Wave aayi — kal se bhi zyada powerful. Mera poora sharir akad gaya jaise bijli ka current laga ho. Meri tangein Deepak ke sar ke around tight ho gayi, main uske baal kheench rahi thi, mere muh se ek lambi "AAAAHHH" nikli jo shayad bahar gali tak gayi hogi, aur mera poora sharir ek earthquake ki tarah hila.
Phir sab chhoot gaya. Meri tangein kaanpin, mera sharir dheela pada, aur main bed par bikhar gayi jaise meri haddiyan pighal gayi hain. Meri aankhein band thi, saans nahi aa rahi thi, aur mere poore badan par pasina tha.
Deepak upar aaya aur mere baaju mein let gaya. Uska muh geela tha — mere paani se. Usne meri taraf dekh ke smile ki aur mere maathe par kiss kiya.
"I love you baby," usne kaha.
"I love you too," maine kaha. Pehli baar boli yeh baat. Aur us waqt — sach mein lag raha tha ki yeh pyar hai. Jo insaan mujhe aisa feel karaye — usse pyar nahi toh kya hai?
---
Ab main poori tarah se Deepak ki thi. Room par roz jaati thi. Class ke baad seedha room. Deepak hamesha ready rehta tha — music, agarbatti, kuch khaane ko. Aur phir woh sessions — jo mere din ki sabse zyada wait ki jaane wali cheez ban gayi thi.
Lekin ek din — aur woh din aakhir aaya — Deepak ne aur aage jaane ki baat ki.
Hum dono nange the — ab tak hum dono ek dusre ke saamne nange hone mein comfortable ho chuke the. Deepak ne abhi mujhe oral se orgasm diya tha aur main haanphte hue leti thi. Deepak mere baaju mein tha — uska lund khada hua tha, meri thigh ke against dab raha tha.
"Baby," usne kaha, mere baalon mein haath firaate hue. "Main bhi chahta hoon."
Mujhe pata tha yeh din aayega. Dar rahi thi iske baare mein — lekin aaj woh dar pehle se kam tha. Deepak ne mujhe itna achha feel karaaya tha pichle kuch dino mein ki mera trust uspar poora tha. Woh mujhe hurt nahi karega — yeh pakka tha mere dimaag mein.
Lekin phir bhi — "Deepak, mujhe darr lag raha hai. Maine kabhi..."
"Pata hai baby. Meri bhi pehli baar hai. Hum dono saath mein seekhenge." Usne mera haath pakda aur squeeze kiya. "Main bahut dheere karunga. Agar tu bolegi ruk — main ruk jaaunga. Teri marzi sabse upar hai. Promise."
Usne itne pyar se bola ki mera sara darr pighal gaya. Meri bhi pehli baar hai — yeh sunke aur achha laga. Hum dono saath mein seekhenge. Kitna romantic hai.
"Theek hai," maine kaha.
Deepak utha aur apne bag se condom nikala — Durex, branded. Kabhi dekha nahi tha maine real mein — Rukhsar ke boyfriend ka used condom dekha tha room mein lekin naya packet nahi. Deepak ne packet khola — smoothly, ek haath se. Condom nikala aur apne lund par daal liya — ek try mein, jaise pehle se jaanta ho kaise daalna hai. Mujhe thoda ajeeb toh laga — agar uski pehli baar hai toh itni asaani se kaise daal raha hai? Lekin maine phir woh thought daba diya — main toh bas uski hone ke liye taiyaar baithi thi, toh aisi choti baaton par dhayan nahi diya.
Deepak wapas aaya. Main leti thi — poori nangi, pankhe ki hawa mere badan par lag rahi thi, goosebumps aa rahe the. Deepak mere upar aaya — lekin poora weight nahi daala, apne haathon par support liya. Uska chehra mere chehra ke saamne tha. Usne mujhe kiss ki — lambi, slow, deep. Mujhe relax kar raha tha.
Kiss karte-karte uska lund meri tangon ke beech aaya. Lekin woh andar nahi daala — pehle woh meri chut ke upar rub karta raha, dheere-dheere. Tease kar raha tha. Meri chut already geeli thi — uske lund ki garmahat mujhe aur bhi garam kar rahi thi. Main tadap rahi thi.
"Ready baby?" usne mere kaan mein poocha.
"Haan... dheere se..."
Deepak ne apne lund ko neeche position kiya. Koi fumbling nahi, koi "angle nahi mil raha" nahi — seedha sahi jagah par lagaya. Jaise use pata tha. Ek try mein. Mujhe phir se thoda ajeeb laga — agar pehli baar hai toh itni asaani se kaise...? Lekin ab dimaag mein kuch aur sochne ki jagah hi nahi thi.
"Saans le baby. Relax. Main hoon," Deepak ne bola.
Push kiya dheere se. Uska tip andar gaya — aur DARD. Sharp, tez, jaise kuch phat raha ho andar.
"AAAHH!" Main cheekhne wali thi lekin Deepak ne apne hoth mere hothon par rakh diye — kiss karke meri cheekh rok li. Smart tha — bahar sunaayi na de.
Woh ruka. "Theek hai baby? Rukun?"
"Nahi... karte ja... dheere..."
Deepak ne aur andar daala — inch by inch. Dard tha — bahut. Lekin Deepak itna dheere kar raha tha ki bearable tha. Beech mein woh ruk jaata tha, mujhe kiss karta tha, mere boob sehlata tha — dard se distract kar raha tha. Usse pata tha ki kya karna hai — jaise yeh sab pehle bhi kiya ho.
Jab poora andar gaya — ek fullness feel hui. Ajeeb. Dard ab peak se thoda kam ho gaya tha. Deepak ruka — andar hi raha, move nahi kiya. Mujhe time de raha tha.
"Baby, tu bahut tight hai," usne kaha.
"Move kar... dheere se..." maine bola, saans le ke.
Deepak ne dheere se andar-bahar karna shuru kiya. Aur yahan bhi — uska rhythm smooth tha. Na bahut tez, na bahut dheema. Consistent, controlled. Meri reaction dekh raha tha — jab main wince karti thi toh slow ho jaata, jab main okay lagti thi toh thoda badha deta. Saath mein kiss karta rehta tha, boobs touch karta rehta tha. Ek haath se khud ko support karta tha aur doosre haath se mujhe touch karta tha — multitasking. Impressive tha — specially "pehli baar" ke liye.
Dard dheere-dheere kam hone laga. Aur uski jagah closeness ka ehsaas aane laga. Koi mere andar hai — literally. Mere upar hai, mujhe pakde hua hai, mujhe kiss kar raha hai. Deepak ka pasina meri skin par gir raha tha, uski saans mere gale par lag rahi thi. Intimacy ka itna intense level pehle kabhi feel nahi kiya tha.
Deepak kaafi der chala. Mujhe laga 15-20 minute toh hue — lekin time ka hosh nahi tha honestly. Woh speed control karta raha — kabhi tez, kabhi dheema. Beech mein woh kaan mein bolta raha — "Baby tu bahut achhi hai... I love you... Sangeeta..." Uski awaaz mein ek desperation thi lekin control bhi tha.
"Pehli baar" mein itni lambi der? Mujhe thoda surprise hua — maine suna tha ki ladke pehli baar mein jaldi khatam ho jaate hain. Lekin Deepak 15-20 minute chal raha tha — shayad woh bhi un logon mein se tha jinmein naturally stamina hota hai.
Aakhir mein Deepak ki saans bahut tez ho gayi. "Baby, main aane wala hoon..."
Uski body tense hui, uski grip mujh par tight hui, aur ek deep push ke saath woh ruk gaya — uski poori body kaanpi. Phir woh mere upar gir gaya, haanphta hua.
Kuch der baad woh dheere se nikla. Condom nikala — neatly, no mess — newspaper mein lapet ke dustbin mein daala. Pehle se rakhi thi newspaper — planning ki thi usne. Responsible boyfriend.
Maine neeche dekha. Chadar par halka sa khoon tha — mere. Meri virginity ki nishaani. Begusarai ki seedhi ladki — jiske papa ne kabhi ladkon se baat nahi karne di — usne Delhi mein, ek kiraaye ke room mein, apni virginity apne pehle boyfriend ko de di.
Mujhe rona aaya — lekin woh bura waala rona nahi tha. Woh ek ajeeb sa emotional rona tha — jaise kuch badal gaya hai hamesha ke liye. Main ab woh ladki nahi rahi jo pehle thi. Kuch kho gaya — lekin kuch mila bhi.
Deepak mere baaju mein let gaya aur mujhe apni baahon mein liya. "I love you Sangeeta. Tu meri duniya hai baby."
"I love you too Deepak." Meri aankhein geeli thi. Uski baahon mein leti thi aur soch rahi thi — yeh ladka mujhse kitna pyar karta hai. Itna dheere kiya, itna patient tha, har second poochta raha ki main theek hoon ya nahi. Mera pehla time — Deepak ke saath — aur woh perfect tha. Haan dard hua, haan awkward tha thoda — lekin Deepak ne har cheez ko bearable bana diya.
Thodi der hum lete rahe. Phir Deepak uth kar Maggi banaane laga — haan bhai, sex ke baad Maggi, Deepak ki speciality. Lekin mujhe us waqt woh Maggi duniya ki sabse achhi Maggi lagi.
Maggi khaate hue Deepak ne phone nikala. "Baby ek selfie lete hain? Sirf mere liye — kisi ko nahi dikhaunga. Bas jab tujhe miss karunga tab dekh lunga."
Kitna sweet hai na. Main hans ke pose kiya — hum dono bed par baithe, Maggi ke saath. Deepak ne photo li aur phone lock kar diya. "Yeh meri sabse favourite photo hogi," usne bola. (Maine bina soche nange badan par bas chadar lapet kar photo khichwa li thi. Mujhe bilkul andaza nahi tha ki main kya kar rahi hoon, main toh bas use khush karna chahti thi).
---
Hostel wapas aayi. Washroom mein jaake saaf kiya — neeche thoda khoon tha. Kapde badle. Bed par let gayi. Rukhsar nahi thi — obviously.
Ceiling dekh rahi thi. Soch rahi thi — toh yeh ho gaya. Main ab virgin nahi hoon. Deepak ke saath hua — mere boyfriend ke saath, jo mujhse pyar karta hai, jo mujhe "baby" bulata hai, jo meri har baat sunta hai, jo mujhe aise touch karta hai jaise koi doosra nahi kar sakta, jo mere liye Maggi banata hai sex ke baad.
Dard tha — thoda — lekin satisfaction zyada thi. Main Deepak ki hoon aur Deepak mera hai. Pehla pyar. Pehla boyfriend. Pehla sab kuch.
Phone uthaya. Deepak ka message — "Pahunch gayi baby? Paani pi lena. Dard ho toh Crocin kha lena. Kal milte hain. I love you so much.
"
Reply kiya — "Haan pahunch gayi. I love you too
"
Phone rakhne hi wali thi ki ek purana notification dikha. Arjun ka message — teen din purana. "Sangeeta, ek baar mil lo please."
Maine message dekha. Thodi der sochi. Phir phone lock karke rakh diya.
Abhi nahi. Abhi main Deepak ki hoon. Mera Deepak — mera pyar.
Neend aa gayi. Achhi neend. Bahut dino baad.
Bas ek chhoti si cheez thi jo mujhe neend se pehle yaad aa rahi thi — Deepak ki bra hook ek try mein khulna, condom ek try mein daalna, angle ek try mein milna, 20 minute chalna "pehli baar" mein. Yeh sab "pehli baar" jaisa toh nahi lag raha tha...
Lekin phir maine socha — Sangeeta, pagal hai kya? Tera boyfriend tujhse pyar karta hai. Itna achha insaan hai. Sab kuch toh perfect hai. Soja chupchaap.
Main so gayi.
Aage kya hua — agle update mein.
Uska naam Deepak tha. Deepak Tiwari. Woh mechanical engineering ka senior tha. Maine pehle usse zyada notice nahi kiya tha — bas itna pata tha ki woh hamesha mujhe ghoorta rehta tha. Kabhi class ke bahar dikh jaata tha, kabhi canteen mein do table door baitha hota tha meri taraf dekhte hue. Ek-do baar usne seedha aake bola bhi tha — "Notes chahiye toh bol dena, mere paas sab hain." Maine tab "haan theek hai" bol ke taal diya tha. Lekin ab haalat alag thi.
Rukhsar ke apne boyfriend ke saath busy hone aur mujhe corridor mein guard khada karne ke baad se mera mann bahut udas rehta tha. Main Delhi ke is bade se college mein khud ko bilkul akeli aur insecure feel karti thi. Arjun ko block-unblock toh kar diya tha, lekin message karne ki himmat nahi thi. Mujhe bas koi aisa chahiye tha jo mujhse baat kare, mujhe importance de. Main ek aisi willing target ban chuki thi jise thode se attention ki zaroorat thi.
Toh jab agle din Deepak mere paas aaya aur bola, "Hi Sangeeta, aaj thoda time hai kya? Kahin baith ke baat karte hain?" — maine pehli baar usse mana nahi kiya.
Dekha toh — Deepak dikhne mein koi hero nahi tha. Average height, thoda sa mota, daadhi ke baal idhar-udhar, kapde bhi kuch khaas nahi the. Lekin uski awaaz mein ek softness thi. Arjun jab baat karta tha toh lagta tha jaise order de raha hai. Deepak ki awaaz mein ek tarah ka warmth tha — jaise ghar pe mummy chai dete waqt bolti hai, "baith, pi le." Non-threatening. Safe.
"Haan chal," maine bola.
Woh mujhe college ke andar hi garden area mein le gaya — wahan kuch benches thi, ped ki chhaanv, thandi hawa. Achhi jagah thi. Hum baith gaye aur Deepak ne baat shuru ki. Woh meri baaton ko bade dhyan se sun raha tha. Matlab aise nahi ki bas "hmm hmm" kar raha tha aur phone dekh raha tha — nahi. Woh meri aankhon mein dekh ke sun raha tha, beech mein sawaal pooch raha tha, meri baaton par react kar raha tha.
"Tu Begusarai se hai? Achha, wahan kaisa hai? Yahan Delhi mein adjust ho rahi hai ya mushkil ho raha hai?"
Itne simple sawaal the. Lekin mujhe itne dino se kisi ne poochha hi nahi tha ki main kaisi hoon. Rukhsar pehle poochti thi, ab nahi. Class mein koi meri friend nahi bani thi. Ghar par phone pe bas "sab theek hai" bol ke kaat deti thi. Aur yahan Deepak mujhse pooch raha tha ki main kaisi hoon.
Main bolne lagi — thoda sa. Delhi aake kaisa laga, hostel ki life kaisi hai, mechanical branch mein ladkiyan kitni kam hain. Zyada personal kuch nahi bola — abhi itna trust nahi tha. Lekin Deepak ne aise suna jaise main koi bahut interesting baat bata rahi hoon.
"Haan yaar, mech mein toh ladkiyan hoti hi kam hain. Mere batch mein bhi bas 4-5 thi," usne bola. "Lekin tu tension mat le — dheere-dheere sab set ho jaayega. Aur ab main hoon na, kuch bhi chahiye toh bol dena."
"Ab main hoon na." Chhoti si line thi. Lekin akele rehte-rehte itni chhoti si baat bhi achhi lagti hai.
Hum ek ghanta baithe rahe. Itni lambi baat maine Delhi aake kisi se nahi ki thi. Uthne lage toh Deepak bola — "Bahut maza aaya yaar tujhse baat karke. Kal bhi milein?"
"Haan, kyun nahi."
Woh smile karke chala gaya. Aur main soch rahi thi — kitna achha ladka hai. Seedha hai, simple hai.
---
Agle din Deepak phir mila. Same jagah, same bench. Lekin aaj uske haath mein do coffee ke cups the — paper cups, college ke bahar waali shop ke.
"Maine socha tu coffee peeti hogi," usne smile karke bola.
Yaar, itni chhoti si cheez thi — lekin mera dil pighal gaya. Kisi ne meri preference ke baare mein socha. Koi mere liye pehle se jaake kuch le aaya. Begusarai mein toh ghar pe bhi mummy ko bolna padta tha "chai de do" — yahan ek ladka khud se le aaya mere liye. Main toh jaise thodi si attention ke liye pehle se hi tarse baithi thi.
"Thanks yaar," maine sachchi mein khush hoke bola.
Aaj Deepak ne thodi apni bhi sunaai. Bataya ki UP se hai, papa sarkari school mein teacher hain, ghar ki halat zyada achhi nahi hai, aur woh ek subject mein reh gaya tha isliye ek saal extra lag gaya. (Deepak ne badi chalaki se apne failure ko chhupa liya tha, jagki sach toh yeh tha ki woh do saal peeche chal raha tha).
Mujhe uski baat sunke thoda connect feel hua. Main bhi toh chhote shehar se aayi thi. Mere ghar ki halat bhi koi Ambani nahi thi. Aur padhai mein main bhi toh average hi thi. Hum dono kaafi similar the — ya mujhe aisa laga.
Phir usne meri taareef ki — lekin alag tarah se. "Sangeeta, tujhe ek baat bolun? Tera chehra bahut innocent hai yaar. Aajkal college mein sab ladkiyan itni fake hain — makeup ke peeche chhupa ke rakhti hain apne aap ko. Tu bilkul natural hai, genuine hai. Bahut achha lagta hai."
Kisi ne meri skin ya figure ki nahi — meri "innocence" ki taareef ki. Mujhe laga yeh ladka sachchi mein alag hai. Baaki ladke toh bas gori hai gori hai karte rehte hain. Deepak ne kaha ki main genuine hoon. Sangeeta Rai, jo khud ko dilli ki modern ladkiyon ke saamne insecure feel karti thi, aaj thoda sharmayi aur bahut khush hui.
---
Teesre din. Chauthe din. Paanchve din. Hum roz milne lage. Deepak ne thode se effort se hi mujhe poori tarah se jeet liya tha. Main waise hi akelepan se tang aayi hui thi, toh maine uske har attempt ko khushi-khushi accept kiya.
Aur Deepak — usne apni ek alag duniya bana di mere around. Subah aankh khulte hi phone pe message hota — "Good morning Sangeeta
Tera din bahut achha jaaye baby." Pehle "Sangeeta" tha, phir dheere se "baby" aa gaya — kabhi pata hi nahi chala kab aaya. College mein milte hi Dairy Milk ki chhoti chocolate deta — "Tere liye baby." Break mein message — "Bore ho raha hoon class mein. Bas tere baare mein soch raha hoon ." Shaam ko milke baat, coffee pilaata, meri baatein sunta, mujhe hasata.Yaar, kya bataaun — mera toh poora din Deepak ke around ghoomne laga. Pehle main akeli thi — ab main akeli nahi thi. Deepak ne woh khaalipan poori tarah bhar diya tha.
Aur touch bhi shuru hua — bahut naturally. Pehle baat karte waqt uski ungliyaan meri ungliyon ko halka sa touch karti thi — jaise galti se. Mujhe pata chalta tha lekin bura nahi lagta tha. Phir ek din usne mera haath pakad liya — dheere se, softly. Maine nahi hataya. Uska haath garam tha aur uski grip mein ek confidence tha jaise use aadat ho haath pakadne ki. Mujhe achha laga. Bahut achha laga.
College mein log dekhne lage. Ek din hum canteen mein the toh maine do ladkiyon ko dheere-dheere baat karte suna — "Yeh freshie Sangeeta, Deepak ke saath ghoom rahi hai kya?" Mujhe laga senior hai toh log notice kar rahe hain.
Lekin Rukhsar ne ek raat hostel mein poochha — "Tu sach mein us Deepu repeat ke saath hai? Sangeeta, tera taste toh dekh. Pichle do saal se fail ho raha hai woh, aur tu uske peeche pagal hai."
Yeh sunte hi mera dil dhak se reh gaya. Mujhe pehli baar pata chala ki woh super senior hai aur uske kai saare back papers hain. Lekin main itni insecure thi aur uski dosti khone se itna darrti thi ki maine apni dosti ko defend karne ke liye Rukhsar par hi attack kar diya.
"Jaise tera boyfriend? Jo chhup ke hostel mein aata hai?" maine seedha bol diya.
Rukhsar chup ho gayi. Karwat le ke so gayi. Uske baad usne mujhe Deepak ke baare mein kabhi kuch nahi bola. Aur maine bhi is baat ko dil mein daba diya — mujhe farak nahi pdta tha ki woh kitne saal repeat kar chuka hai, mere liye toh bas uska attention aur pyar hi sab kuch tha.
---
Paanchve din Deepak ne mujhse propose kiya. Hum bench par baithe the, shaam ka waqt, suraj doob raha tha. Deepak ne mera haath pakda aur meri aankhon mein seedha dekha.
"Sangeeta, mujhe tujhse kuch kehna hai."
Mera dil dhadakne laga. Mujhe pata tha kya aane wala hai. Darr rahi thi aur excited bhi thi.
"Main jaanta hoon ki main koi bahut bada banda nahi hoon. Padhai mein average hoon, paise nahi hain, status nahi hai. Lekin ek cheez hai jo main de sakta hoon — apna dil. Sangeeta, main tujhse pyar karta hoon. Pehli nazar se. Jab se tune college mein pehla kadam rakha, tabse. Kya tu meri girlfriend banegi?"
Meri saans ruk gayi. Zindagi mein pehli baar koi ladka meri aankhon mein dekhke bol raha tha ki woh mujhse pyar karta hai.
"Deepak, yeh bahut jaldi nahi hai? Abhi toh hum mile—"
"Pyar mein time nahi lagta baby. Jab hota hai toh hota hai. Aur mujhe hua hai."
Meri aankhon mein thoda paani aa gaya. Main toh bas is akelepan se bhagna chahti thi, aur Deepak ne mujhe woh rasta de diya tha.
"Haan," maine bola.
Deepak ki aankhein chamak uthi. Usne mera haath chuma — haan bhai, haath chuma, jaise films mein hota hai. "Tu meri zindagi hai Sangeeta. Main tujhe kabhi hurt nahi karunga. Pakka promise."
Us raat hostel mein bed par leti-leti main has rahi thi akele mein. Mera boyfriend hai. MERA boyfriend. Sangeeta Rai ka boyfriend hai. Begusarai ki ladki ka pehla boyfriend. Deepak Tiwari. Haan, college mein log usse Deepu repeat bolte hain, haan, do saal peeche chal raha hai, lekin woh mujhse pyar karta hai — aur mere liye yehi kaafi hai.
---
Boyfriend banne ke baad Deepak aur bhi zyada caring ho gaya. Ab woh mera bag uthata tha college mein, break mein mere liye khaana lekar aata tha, baarish mein apna chhata deta tha, raat ko phone par ghanton baat karta tha. Mujhe lagta tha ki duniya ka sabse achha boyfriend mujhe mila hai.
Aur ab woh mujhe coffee shops mein le jaane laga — CCD mein. Hum baith ke cappuccino peete the aur baat karte the ghanton. Deepak ki baatein ab aur bade level ki ho gayi thi. Woh mujhe "future" dikhata tha —
"Baby, jab meri placement lag jaayegi na, sabse pehle tere liye ek achha sa phone launga. Phir hum dono Goa chalenge."
"Tujhe pata hai, jab pehli baar tujhe dekha tha college mein — main apne dost se bol chuka tha ki is ladki se shaadi karunga."
Shaadi. Woh shaadi ki baat kar raha tha. Matlab yeh serious hai — timepass nahi hai. Mujhe apne akelepan aur insecurity ke beech bahut secure feel hua. Yeh ladka mujhse shaadi karna chahta hai. Yeh sachcha pyar hai. (Lekin main yeh nahi samajh paa rahi thi ki yeh sab uski badi-babi baatein thi jo woh har ladki se kehta hoga, uska asli nishana toh kuch aur hi tha).
Aur touch bhi badh raha tha — dheere-dheere. Coffee shop mein table ke neeche uski taang meri taang se lagi rehti thi. Bench par baithe toh uska haath meri kamar par hota tha. Hug lamba hone laga — 5 second se 10 second, 10 se 20. Aur har hug mein woh mujhe tight pakadta tha — uski chhaati mein mera chehra hota tha, uske perfume ki smell aati thi (sasta tha lekin mujhe achha lagta tha), aur uski heartbeat sunai deti thi.
---
Pehle hafte ke aakhri din — pehla kiss.
Hum college ke peeche wale ground mein the. Bench par baithe, shaam ka waqt. Deepak baat kar raha tha — achanak ruka. Meri taraf dekha. Uski aankhon mein kuch tha jo maine pehle nahi dekha tha — ek intensity.
"Sangeeta, tu aaj bahut sundar dikh rahi hai."
Phir woh dheere se mere paas aaya. Uska haath mere gaal par aaya — halka sa, jaise hawa ka jhonka. Usne mera chehra apni taraf ghuma liya aur apne hoth mere hothon par rakh diye.
Aur — yaar kya bataaun — woh kiss. Woh kiss bilkul alag thi kisi bhi cheez se jo maine pehle feel ki thi. Arjun ne party mein kiss kiya tha — woh aggressive tha, jaise usne attack kiya ho mere muh par. Deepak ki kiss — slow thi, soft thi. Usne pehle sirf mere hothon ko chua — halka sa, jaise test kar raha ho. Phir dheere se uski zubaan aayi — lekin aise nahi jaise Arjun ne poora muh andar ghusa diya tha — nahi, Deepak ki zubaan halke se mere lips ke beech aayi, tease kiya, phir chali gayi. Phir wapas aayi. Usne mere neeche wale hoth ko apne hothon ke beech liya aur dheere se chusa.
Mera poora sharir ek baar kaanp gaya. Ek current sa daud gaya neeche se upar tak. Meri aankhein apne aap band ho gayi aur main usmein doob gayi.
Jab kiss khatam hui — pata nahi kitni der baad, time ka hosh hi nahi raha — main thodi breathless thi. Deepak muskura raha tha — ek aisi muskaan jo confident thi lekin arrogant nahi.
"Wow," maine bola bina soche.
Deepak has diya. "Tere saath sab kuch wow hai baby."
Main sharma ke neeche dekhne lagi. Andar se soch rahi thi — itni achhi kiss? Arjun bhi toh senior tha, supposedly experienced — lekin uski kiss mein woh baat nahi thi jo Deepak ki mein thi. Deepak ki kiss mein ek control tha, ek rhythm tha, jaise use pata tha ki exactly kya karna hai. Shayad kuch logon mein naturally hota hai — jaise kisi ki awaaz achhi hoti hai bina seekhe, waise hi shayad Deepak ko kissing naturally aati thi.
Ya shayad nahi. Lekin us waqt maine itna nahi socha. Main toh bas uske pyaar ke nashe mein thi.
---
Uske baad — kiss daily hone lagi. Aur har din thodi aur intense. Deepak ka muh jaise magic tha — woh har baar kuch naya karta tha. Kabhi meri upar wali lip chusta, kabhi neeche wali. Kabhi zubaan se khelta, kabhi sirf hothon se. Kabhi dheema karta, kabhi tez. Mera sharir har baar react karta tha — aankhein band, saans tez, neeche garmi.
Aur saath mein uske haath bhi chalne lage. Lekin bahut dheere-dheere — itna dheere ki mujhe kabhi aisa nahi laga ki woh kuch galat kar raha hai.
Pehle din — kiss ke waqt haath meri kamar par. Warm, firm. Achha laga.
Doosre din — kamar se thoda upar. Ribs ke paas. Close tha lekin wahi nahi. Mujhe pata tha ki woh khaan ja raha hai — lekin woh wahan nahi gaya. Tease.
Teesre din — kiss intense chal rahi thi aur uska haath achanak mere boob ke side ko brush kar gaya. Ek second ke liye. Phir wapas kamar par. Maine kuch nahi bola — kyunki woh ek second achha laga tha.
Chauthe din — ab brush nahi tha. Deepak ka haath seedha mere boob par aaya — kurti ke upar se. Usne dheere se dabaya. Main kuch bhi nahi boli — bas kiss karti rahi. Uski ungliyon ne mere boob ko touch kiya kapde ke upar se aur mera sharir garam ho raha tha.
"Deepak..." maine bola.
"Hmm?" Kiss nahi roki usne.
"Koi dekh lega yahan..."
"Koi nahi hai baby. Chill kar."
Usne mujhe "baby" bola aur main chup ho gayi. Ab main notice karne lagi thi ki jab bhi Deepak "baby" bolta tha — mera dil pighal jaata tha aur main kuch bhi mana nahi kar paati thi. Woh shabd meri kamzori ban gaya tha. (Deepak jaise meri is insecurity ko achhe se samajhta tha, tabhi toh har baar apni baat manwane ke liye 'baby' ka sahara leta tha).
Us raat hostel mein leti-leti main soch rahi thi — aaj Deepak ne mera boob touch kiya. Kapdon ke upar se hi sahi, lekin kiya. Aur mujhe achha laga tha. Bahut achha laga tha. Meri body abhi bhi uski yaad mein garam thi. Neeche woh garmi thi jo aajkal roz hoti thi — lekin aaj zyada thi.
Main Deepak ke baare mein soch rahi thi — uska kiss, uska touch, uski "baby" wali awaaz. Yeh sab mere liye itna naya tha, itna intoxicating tha ki main pagal si ho rahi thi. Din mein usse milne ka wait karti thi, raat ko uski yaad mein soti thi.
---
Doosra hafta shuru hua. Deepak ne naya plan bataya.
"Baby, mera ek dost hai Sanjay — woh semester break par gaon gaya hai. Uska room khaali pada hai college ke paas. Main wahan reh raha hoon thode din. Tu aayegi kabhi? Wahan achhe se baith ke baat karenge, music lagaayenge, main tere liye kuch bana ke khilaaunga."
Room par jaana. Mujhe pata tha ki room par jaana matlab privacy. Privacy matlab... pata nahi kya. Thoda dar laga. Lekin Deepak ne itna casually bola tha ki lagta tha bas baith ke baat karna hai sachchi mein. Aur uski caring, uska attention, uski "baby baby" ki baatein — mujhe uspar poora trust ho gaya tha. Deepak mera boyfriend hai, woh mujhse pyar karta hai, woh mujhe hurt nahi karega. Main ek tarah se uski baaton mein poori tarah fans chuki thi.
"Theek hai, kal aaungi."
---
Deepak ka room — matlab Sanjay ka room — ek chhoti si gali mein tha, college se das minute door. Room chhota tha — single bed, ek table, plastic ki kursi, ek purana pankha jo ghrrr ghrrr karta tha. Lekin Deepak ne achha set up kiya tha — bed ki chaddar saaf thi, ek chhote bluetooth speaker par halka sa gaana chal raha tha, agarbatti jal rahi thi jisse room mein achhi khushbu aa rahi thi, aur ek chhoti si fairy light lagayi thi jisse soft sa ujaala aa raha tha. Chhota room tha lekin cozy lag raha tha.
"Baith na baby, Maggi banata hoon tere liye," Deepak ne has ke bola.
Maggi. Mere liye Maggi bana raha hai apne chhote se room mein. Mujhe yeh sab bahut cute laga — kitna achha boyfriend hai mera.
Hum bed par baithe — koi aur jagah thi bhi nahi. Maggi khayi, baatein ki, haste rahe. Speaker par gaana chal raha tha. Deepak ne beech mein mera haath pakad liya aur meri ungliyon se khelta raha. Sab kuch perfect tha.
Phir Deepak ne kiss kiya. Pehle halka — waise hi jaise hamesha shuru karta tha. Phir dheere-dheere deep hoti gayi. Uska kiss har baar naya kuch karta tha mere sharir ke saath — meri saans tez ho jaati thi, mera dil dhadakta tha, aur neeche ek garmi feel hoti thi jo roz badhti ja rahi thi.
Kiss karte-karte uske haath mere boobs par aaye — ab tak yeh routine ho chuka tha toh mujhe koi tension nahi thi. Lekin aaj Deepak ruka nahi wahi par. Kiss karte-karte usne meri kurti ka nichla hissa pakda aur dheere se upar ki taraf kheencha.
Meri saans ek second ke liye ruk gayi. "Deepak—"
"Shh baby. Main hoon na. Trust me," usne meri aankhon mein dekh ke bola. Uski awaaz mein ek tarah ka bharosa tha — jaise bol raha ho ki sab theek hai, mujh par chhod de.
Aur maine chhod diya. Maine haath upar kar diye aur usne meri kurti utar di. Main uske saamne bra mein thi. Thodi sharm aa rahi thi.
Deepak ne mujhe dekha. "Tu bahut sundar hai baby," usne bola — aur uski awaaz mein ek garmahat thi jo mujhe andar tak feel hui.
Usne peeche haath le jaake meri bra ka hook khola — ek try mein. Itni asaani se, itna smooth — jaise pehle se jaanta ho ki hook kahan hai aur kaise khulta hai. Mujhe thoda surprise hua — mujhe toh khud apni bra ka hook kholne mein kabhi-kabhi do try lagte hain, aur Deepak ne ek mein khol diya.
Jab bra utri aur mere nange boobs uske saamne the — Deepak ki nazar wahi tik gayi. "Oh god Sangeeta..." usne dheere se bola, jaise sachchi mein impressed ho. Mujhe sharm bhi aa rahi thi aur achha bhi lag raha tha — meri gori chaatiyon par uski nazar thi aur uski aankhon mein mujhe admiration dekhne ko mil raha tha.
Phir Deepak ne apna muh mere boobs par rakha. Aur — yaar — yeh toh bilkul alag level tha. Rukhsar ke boyfriend ki awaazein sunke maine imagine kiya tha ki yeh kaisa hota hoga — lekin reality mein yeh imagination se hazaar guna achha tha. Deepak ki zubaan garam thi aur woh mere nipple ko halke se circle kar raha tha — dheere-dheere, jaise tease kar raha ho. Phir usne dheere se chusa — itna perfect pressure ke saath ki meri peeth apne aap arch ho gayi. Phir usne halka sa kaata — itna halka ki dard nahi hua, bas ek electric sa shock gaya mere sharir mein seedha neeche tak. Phir doosri taraf chala gaya aur wahi kiya.
Mera sharir pagal ho raha tha. Aise react kar raha tha jaise pehle kabhi nahi kiya tha. Meri saans tez thi, meri aankhein band thi, aur neeche — neeche main itni wet ho rahi thi ki panty gili ho gayi thi.
Phir Deepak ka haath neeche aaya — meri pet se guzarta hua, dheere-dheere, meri jeans ke button tak. Woh button ke saath khela thodi der — ungli se halka dabaya, phir chhoda.
"Deepak, nahi..." maine bola. Lekin meri awaaz mein woh "nahi" nahi thi jo sachchi mein mana karne wali hoti hai. Woh toh bas sharm ke maare bol rahi thi. Deepak ko pata chal gaya — ya shayad usse pehle se pata tha.
"Baby, bas thoda sa. Main tujhe achha feel karaaunga. Trust me na."
Maine uska haath roka. "Aaj nahi Deepak. Please."
Deepak turant ruk gaya. "Theek hai baby, koi issue nahi. Jab tu chahegi. Main koi rush nahi kar raha." Usne meri aankh mein dekha aur smile ki — itni genuine lagi ki mujhe apne aap par hi gussa aa gaya ki maine kyun roka.
Woh wapas mere boobs par chala gaya aur main aankhein band karke enjoy karti rahi. Room mein halka gaana chal raha tha, agarbatti ki khushbu thi, aur Deepak ka garam muh mere boobs par tha. Us moment mein — mujhe laga ki duniya mein sab sahi hai.
Baad mein jab hum kapde pehan ke Maggi kha rahe the, Deepak ne ek baat boli jo mere dil mein baith gayi — "Sangeeta baby, main tujhse kabhi koi aisi cheez nahi karunga jo tu nahi chahti. Tera comfort meri sabse badi priority hai. Tu meri jaan hai."
Meri jaan. Mere aankh mein paani aa gaya. Kitna achha hai yeh ladka. Itna samajhdaar, itna patient. Koi aur hota toh shaayad zabardasti karta ya naraz ho jaata. Lekin Deepak — Deepak ne seedha bol diya ki koi rush nahi hai. Mujhe laga ki mujhe sachchi mein duniya ka sabse achha boyfriend mila hai.
Us raat hostel mein leti-leti main soch rahi thi — aaj maine Deepak ko roka. Lekin main chahti toh nahi rok paati. Uski ungliyaan jab mere jeans ke button ke paas aayi thi — mera poora sharir chahta tha ki woh aage jaaye. Lekin dimaag ne roka. Lekin ab dimaag bhi keh raha tha — kyun roka? Deepak tera boyfriend hai. Woh tujhse pyar karta hai. Toh kya galat hai?
---
Agle din. Room par phir gayi. Ab toh aana-jaana regular hone laga tha.
Same routine — gaana, agarbatti, Maggi (aaj omelette banaya usne — upgrade), baatein, hansi. Phir kiss. Top utri. Bra utri — phir ek try mein, smooth. Uska muh mere boobs par — ab mujhe aadat hone lagi thi is feeling ki lekin har baar naya lagta tha.
Aaj Deepak ka haath phir neeche aaya. Lekin aaj usne jeans ka button nahi khola — woh jeans ke upar se apna haath mere neeche le gaya aur dheere se press kiya.
"Aahh..." mere muh se nikal gaya.
Jeans ke upar se bhi uski ungliyon ka pressure feel ho raha tha — aur sahi jagah par. Deepak ko pata tha — pata nahi kaise, lekin use pata tha ki kahan touch karna hai. Woh jeans ke upar se hi slow circles mein rub karne laga. Dheere-dheere. Uska doosra haath mere boob par tha aur muh mere gale par — kiss kar raha tha, chaat raha tha.
Main pagal ho rahi thi. Mere muh se awaazein nikal rahi thi jo meri apni nahi lag rahi thi. "Aahh... Deepak... haan..."
"Jeans khol doon baby?" Deepak ne mere kaan mein poocha, uski garam saans mere kaan par lagi.
Iss baar maine nahi roka. "Haan..."
Deepak ne meri jeans ka button khola, zip kheenchi, aur dheere se neeche ki. Main leti thi — panty mein. Gili panty mein.
Uski ungliyaan meri panty ke upar se chalin — meri chut ke upar, dheere-dheere. "Baby, tu toh poori gili hai," usne bola. Mujhe sharm aa rahi thi lekin saath mein ek ajeeb sa pride bhi — mera sharir react kar raha hai, iska matlab main bhi normal hoon, main bhi un ladkiyon jaisi hoon jo sab kuch feel karti hain.
Phir Deepak ki ungliyaan meri panty ke andar gayi. Jab uski ungli meri nangi chut par lagi — seedha — toh mera sharir ek jhatke se tense ho gaya. "Aaahh!" Itna direct touch pehle kabhi nahi hua tha. Raat ko jab main khud touch karti thi — woh bhi aisa nahi feel hota tha. Deepak ki ungliyaan alag thi — confident thi, firm thi, aur unhe pata tha ki kahan jaana hai.
Uski ungli meri clit par aayi aur circle karne lagi — perfect rhythm mein, perfect pressure mein. Na bahut tez na bahut dheema. Kaise pata tha use? Main toh khud nahi jaanti thi ki meri body ko kya chahiye — lekin Deepak ko pata tha. Phir uski ek ungli dheere se andar gayi — thoda dard hua, lekin saath mein ek nayi feeling bhi jo describe nahi ho sakti. Thodi der baad doosri ungli bhi.
"Achha lag raha hai baby?" Deepak ne poocha.
Main sirf sir hila paayi. Bolne ki haalat nahi thi. Meri saans itni tez thi ki words nahi nikal rahe the.
Deepak ne bahut der tak mujhe aise touch kiya. Woh clit aur andar dono par kaam kar raha tha. Uski speed badh rahi thi mere response ke saath — jab main zyada moan karti thi toh woh tez karta tha, jab main saans rokti thi toh dheema karta tha. Jaise mera sharir ek instrument hai aur woh use baja raha hai.
Phir ek wave aayi. Neeche se shuru hui — meri chut se, pet se, aur poore sharir mein faili. Meri tangein akad gayi, meri peeth uth gayi bed se, mere muh se ek awaaz nikli jo maine apne aap se pehle kabhi nahi suni thi — "AAAHHH DEEPAK!" Meri aankhein band thi aur mere poore badan mein jaise bijli daud gayi. Phir ek second mein sab loose ho gaya — meri tangein kaanpin, mera sharir dheela pada, aur main bed par gir gayi jaise sari jaan nikal gayi ho.
Main haanph rahi thi. Pasina tha. Baal bikhre the. Tangon ke beech gila tha. Aur main ceiling ko dekh rahi thi soch rahi thi — YEH KYA THA?
Raat ko jab main khud ko touch karti thi — woh kuch bhi nahi tha iske saamne. Yeh toh... yeh toh bilkul alag duniya thi. Aise feel kabhi nahi hua tha. KABHI nahi.
Deepak mere baaju mein let gaya aur mera sar apni chhaati par rakh liya. "Kaisa laga baby?"
"Bahut... bahut achha..." main abhi bhi saans le rahi thi, dhang se bol nahi paa rahi thi.
"Tere liye kuch bhi baby."
Main uski chhaati par leti rahi. Uski heartbeat sun rahi thi — tez thi lekin steady. Mujhe laga ki main duniya ki sabse lucky ladki hoon. Mera boyfriend mujhe aise feel karata hai jaise... jaise kuch describe nahi ho sakta. Padhai mein bhale hi peeche ho, lekin in sab cheezon mein toh woh kisi professor se kam nahi tha.
Aur haan, mujhe thoda ajeeb laga ki Deepak itna achha kaise kar leta hai — itna confident, itna skilled. Kabhi ek baar bhi galat jagah nahi chua, kabhi awkward nahi hua. Jaise pehle se jaanta ho meri body ko. Lekin maine yeh thought jaldi se hata diya — mujhe toh bas uski baahon mein surakshit mehsoos karna tha.
Us din actual sex nahi hua. Deepak ne khud se kuch nahi maanga — usne sirf mujhe orgasm diya. Main hostel wapas aayi toh Rukhsar so rahi thi. Main bed par leti aur abhi bhi us feeling ke nashe mein thi. Mera poora sharir gunguna raha tha. Neend aane mein der lagi kyunki jab bhi aankh band karti thi, Deepak ki ungliyaan yaad aa jaati thi aur phir se neeche garmi hone lagti thi.
Main soch rahi thi — agar sirf ungliyon se itna hua, toh aage kya hoga?
---
Agle din. Phir room.
Aaj main khud se jaana chahti thi. Class khatam hote hi message kiya — "Room aa rahi hoon." Deepak ka reply — "Aa jaa baby, darwaaza khula hai."
Aaj ka session pehle jaisa hi shuru hua — kiss, boobs, fingering. Lekin aaj Deepak ne kuch naya kiya. Jab main orgasm ke kareeb thi — meri saans tez thi, meri awaaz nikal rahi thi — Deepak achanak neeche chala gaya.
"Deepak kya kar—"
"Shh baby, let me."
Aur uska muh neeche pahunch gaya, meri chut par. Jab uski zubaan lagi —
OH. MY. GOD.
Yeh toh — yeh toh ungliyon se bhi hazaar guna zyada tha. Deepak ki zubaan garam thi, geeli thi, aur woh jaanta tha ki kahan lagaani hai. Woh meri clit par circles kar raha tha — apni zubaan se, kabhi dheere kabhi tez. Kabhi halka sa chusta tha, kabhi zubaan flat karke poora area cover karta tha, kabhi zubaan ki nok se seedha clit par dab deta tha.
Main — main control nahi kar paayi. Mera haath uske sar par gaya aur maine uske baal pakad liye. Meri tangein uske sar ke dono taraf thin aur main apna hip utha rahi thi uske muh ki taraf — jaise aur chahti hoon, aur zyada, aur close. Mere muh se awaazein nikal rahi thi jo main rok nahi paa rahi thi — "aahh... Deepak... wahi... haan wahi... mat ruk... PLEASE MAT RUK..."
Please mat ruk. Main bheekh maang rahi thi. Sangeeta Rai — Begusarai ki seedhi ladki, gori chamdi wali, jisko ladkon se baat karne mein sharm aati thi — woh ek chhote se room mein, ek repeat senior ke muh par apni chut rakh ke bheekh maang rahi thi ki ruk mat.
Aur Deepak ruka nahi. Usne aur tez kiya. Uski zubaan aur deep gayi, uski lips ne meri clit ko pakda aur chusna shuru kiya — steady, rhythmic, relentless.
Wave aayi — kal se bhi zyada powerful. Mera poora sharir akad gaya jaise bijli ka current laga ho. Meri tangein Deepak ke sar ke around tight ho gayi, main uske baal kheench rahi thi, mere muh se ek lambi "AAAAHHH" nikli jo shayad bahar gali tak gayi hogi, aur mera poora sharir ek earthquake ki tarah hila.
Phir sab chhoot gaya. Meri tangein kaanpin, mera sharir dheela pada, aur main bed par bikhar gayi jaise meri haddiyan pighal gayi hain. Meri aankhein band thi, saans nahi aa rahi thi, aur mere poore badan par pasina tha.
Deepak upar aaya aur mere baaju mein let gaya. Uska muh geela tha — mere paani se. Usne meri taraf dekh ke smile ki aur mere maathe par kiss kiya.
"I love you baby," usne kaha.
"I love you too," maine kaha. Pehli baar boli yeh baat. Aur us waqt — sach mein lag raha tha ki yeh pyar hai. Jo insaan mujhe aisa feel karaye — usse pyar nahi toh kya hai?
---
Ab main poori tarah se Deepak ki thi. Room par roz jaati thi. Class ke baad seedha room. Deepak hamesha ready rehta tha — music, agarbatti, kuch khaane ko. Aur phir woh sessions — jo mere din ki sabse zyada wait ki jaane wali cheez ban gayi thi.
Lekin ek din — aur woh din aakhir aaya — Deepak ne aur aage jaane ki baat ki.
Hum dono nange the — ab tak hum dono ek dusre ke saamne nange hone mein comfortable ho chuke the. Deepak ne abhi mujhe oral se orgasm diya tha aur main haanphte hue leti thi. Deepak mere baaju mein tha — uska lund khada hua tha, meri thigh ke against dab raha tha.
"Baby," usne kaha, mere baalon mein haath firaate hue. "Main bhi chahta hoon."
Mujhe pata tha yeh din aayega. Dar rahi thi iske baare mein — lekin aaj woh dar pehle se kam tha. Deepak ne mujhe itna achha feel karaaya tha pichle kuch dino mein ki mera trust uspar poora tha. Woh mujhe hurt nahi karega — yeh pakka tha mere dimaag mein.
Lekin phir bhi — "Deepak, mujhe darr lag raha hai. Maine kabhi..."
"Pata hai baby. Meri bhi pehli baar hai. Hum dono saath mein seekhenge." Usne mera haath pakda aur squeeze kiya. "Main bahut dheere karunga. Agar tu bolegi ruk — main ruk jaaunga. Teri marzi sabse upar hai. Promise."
Usne itne pyar se bola ki mera sara darr pighal gaya. Meri bhi pehli baar hai — yeh sunke aur achha laga. Hum dono saath mein seekhenge. Kitna romantic hai.
"Theek hai," maine kaha.
Deepak utha aur apne bag se condom nikala — Durex, branded. Kabhi dekha nahi tha maine real mein — Rukhsar ke boyfriend ka used condom dekha tha room mein lekin naya packet nahi. Deepak ne packet khola — smoothly, ek haath se. Condom nikala aur apne lund par daal liya — ek try mein, jaise pehle se jaanta ho kaise daalna hai. Mujhe thoda ajeeb toh laga — agar uski pehli baar hai toh itni asaani se kaise daal raha hai? Lekin maine phir woh thought daba diya — main toh bas uski hone ke liye taiyaar baithi thi, toh aisi choti baaton par dhayan nahi diya.
Deepak wapas aaya. Main leti thi — poori nangi, pankhe ki hawa mere badan par lag rahi thi, goosebumps aa rahe the. Deepak mere upar aaya — lekin poora weight nahi daala, apne haathon par support liya. Uska chehra mere chehra ke saamne tha. Usne mujhe kiss ki — lambi, slow, deep. Mujhe relax kar raha tha.
Kiss karte-karte uska lund meri tangon ke beech aaya. Lekin woh andar nahi daala — pehle woh meri chut ke upar rub karta raha, dheere-dheere. Tease kar raha tha. Meri chut already geeli thi — uske lund ki garmahat mujhe aur bhi garam kar rahi thi. Main tadap rahi thi.
"Ready baby?" usne mere kaan mein poocha.
"Haan... dheere se..."
Deepak ne apne lund ko neeche position kiya. Koi fumbling nahi, koi "angle nahi mil raha" nahi — seedha sahi jagah par lagaya. Jaise use pata tha. Ek try mein. Mujhe phir se thoda ajeeb laga — agar pehli baar hai toh itni asaani se kaise...? Lekin ab dimaag mein kuch aur sochne ki jagah hi nahi thi.
"Saans le baby. Relax. Main hoon," Deepak ne bola.
Push kiya dheere se. Uska tip andar gaya — aur DARD. Sharp, tez, jaise kuch phat raha ho andar.
"AAAHH!" Main cheekhne wali thi lekin Deepak ne apne hoth mere hothon par rakh diye — kiss karke meri cheekh rok li. Smart tha — bahar sunaayi na de.
Woh ruka. "Theek hai baby? Rukun?"
"Nahi... karte ja... dheere..."
Deepak ne aur andar daala — inch by inch. Dard tha — bahut. Lekin Deepak itna dheere kar raha tha ki bearable tha. Beech mein woh ruk jaata tha, mujhe kiss karta tha, mere boob sehlata tha — dard se distract kar raha tha. Usse pata tha ki kya karna hai — jaise yeh sab pehle bhi kiya ho.
Jab poora andar gaya — ek fullness feel hui. Ajeeb. Dard ab peak se thoda kam ho gaya tha. Deepak ruka — andar hi raha, move nahi kiya. Mujhe time de raha tha.
"Baby, tu bahut tight hai," usne kaha.
"Move kar... dheere se..." maine bola, saans le ke.
Deepak ne dheere se andar-bahar karna shuru kiya. Aur yahan bhi — uska rhythm smooth tha. Na bahut tez, na bahut dheema. Consistent, controlled. Meri reaction dekh raha tha — jab main wince karti thi toh slow ho jaata, jab main okay lagti thi toh thoda badha deta. Saath mein kiss karta rehta tha, boobs touch karta rehta tha. Ek haath se khud ko support karta tha aur doosre haath se mujhe touch karta tha — multitasking. Impressive tha — specially "pehli baar" ke liye.
Dard dheere-dheere kam hone laga. Aur uski jagah closeness ka ehsaas aane laga. Koi mere andar hai — literally. Mere upar hai, mujhe pakde hua hai, mujhe kiss kar raha hai. Deepak ka pasina meri skin par gir raha tha, uski saans mere gale par lag rahi thi. Intimacy ka itna intense level pehle kabhi feel nahi kiya tha.
Deepak kaafi der chala. Mujhe laga 15-20 minute toh hue — lekin time ka hosh nahi tha honestly. Woh speed control karta raha — kabhi tez, kabhi dheema. Beech mein woh kaan mein bolta raha — "Baby tu bahut achhi hai... I love you... Sangeeta..." Uski awaaz mein ek desperation thi lekin control bhi tha.
"Pehli baar" mein itni lambi der? Mujhe thoda surprise hua — maine suna tha ki ladke pehli baar mein jaldi khatam ho jaate hain. Lekin Deepak 15-20 minute chal raha tha — shayad woh bhi un logon mein se tha jinmein naturally stamina hota hai.
Aakhir mein Deepak ki saans bahut tez ho gayi. "Baby, main aane wala hoon..."
Uski body tense hui, uski grip mujh par tight hui, aur ek deep push ke saath woh ruk gaya — uski poori body kaanpi. Phir woh mere upar gir gaya, haanphta hua.
Kuch der baad woh dheere se nikla. Condom nikala — neatly, no mess — newspaper mein lapet ke dustbin mein daala. Pehle se rakhi thi newspaper — planning ki thi usne. Responsible boyfriend.
Maine neeche dekha. Chadar par halka sa khoon tha — mere. Meri virginity ki nishaani. Begusarai ki seedhi ladki — jiske papa ne kabhi ladkon se baat nahi karne di — usne Delhi mein, ek kiraaye ke room mein, apni virginity apne pehle boyfriend ko de di.
Mujhe rona aaya — lekin woh bura waala rona nahi tha. Woh ek ajeeb sa emotional rona tha — jaise kuch badal gaya hai hamesha ke liye. Main ab woh ladki nahi rahi jo pehle thi. Kuch kho gaya — lekin kuch mila bhi.
Deepak mere baaju mein let gaya aur mujhe apni baahon mein liya. "I love you Sangeeta. Tu meri duniya hai baby."
"I love you too Deepak." Meri aankhein geeli thi. Uski baahon mein leti thi aur soch rahi thi — yeh ladka mujhse kitna pyar karta hai. Itna dheere kiya, itna patient tha, har second poochta raha ki main theek hoon ya nahi. Mera pehla time — Deepak ke saath — aur woh perfect tha. Haan dard hua, haan awkward tha thoda — lekin Deepak ne har cheez ko bearable bana diya.
Thodi der hum lete rahe. Phir Deepak uth kar Maggi banaane laga — haan bhai, sex ke baad Maggi, Deepak ki speciality. Lekin mujhe us waqt woh Maggi duniya ki sabse achhi Maggi lagi.
Maggi khaate hue Deepak ne phone nikala. "Baby ek selfie lete hain? Sirf mere liye — kisi ko nahi dikhaunga. Bas jab tujhe miss karunga tab dekh lunga."
Kitna sweet hai na. Main hans ke pose kiya — hum dono bed par baithe, Maggi ke saath. Deepak ne photo li aur phone lock kar diya. "Yeh meri sabse favourite photo hogi," usne bola. (Maine bina soche nange badan par bas chadar lapet kar photo khichwa li thi. Mujhe bilkul andaza nahi tha ki main kya kar rahi hoon, main toh bas use khush karna chahti thi).
---
Hostel wapas aayi. Washroom mein jaake saaf kiya — neeche thoda khoon tha. Kapde badle. Bed par let gayi. Rukhsar nahi thi — obviously.
Ceiling dekh rahi thi. Soch rahi thi — toh yeh ho gaya. Main ab virgin nahi hoon. Deepak ke saath hua — mere boyfriend ke saath, jo mujhse pyar karta hai, jo mujhe "baby" bulata hai, jo meri har baat sunta hai, jo mujhe aise touch karta hai jaise koi doosra nahi kar sakta, jo mere liye Maggi banata hai sex ke baad.
Dard tha — thoda — lekin satisfaction zyada thi. Main Deepak ki hoon aur Deepak mera hai. Pehla pyar. Pehla boyfriend. Pehla sab kuch.
Phone uthaya. Deepak ka message — "Pahunch gayi baby? Paani pi lena. Dard ho toh Crocin kha lena. Kal milte hain. I love you so much.
"Reply kiya — "Haan pahunch gayi. I love you too
"Phone rakhne hi wali thi ki ek purana notification dikha. Arjun ka message — teen din purana. "Sangeeta, ek baar mil lo please."
Maine message dekha. Thodi der sochi. Phir phone lock karke rakh diya.
Abhi nahi. Abhi main Deepak ki hoon. Mera Deepak — mera pyar.
Neend aa gayi. Achhi neend. Bahut dino baad.
Bas ek chhoti si cheez thi jo mujhe neend se pehle yaad aa rahi thi — Deepak ki bra hook ek try mein khulna, condom ek try mein daalna, angle ek try mein milna, 20 minute chalna "pehli baar" mein. Yeh sab "pehli baar" jaisa toh nahi lag raha tha...
Lekin phir maine socha — Sangeeta, pagal hai kya? Tera boyfriend tujhse pyar karta hai. Itna achha insaan hai. Sab kuch toh perfect hai. Soja chupchaap.
Main so gayi.
Aage kya hua — agle update mein.
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