Chapter 11: Khushi Ka Koi Thikana Nahin
Sheher Ki Pehli Subah – Yaadon Ka Saya
Train se utarte hi sheher ki bheed ne mujhe apne aap se alag sa kar diya. Sab log itni jaldi bhag rahe the, jaise har kisi ko kisi ka intezaar na ho. Taxi mein baithi toh meri ungliyan khud-ba-khud apne pet pe chali gayi - woh jagah jo abhi bhi Ramu ke m*ni aur paseene ki khushboo se bhari hui thi. Mera andar abhi bhi gila tha uski yaadon se.
Ghar ke darwaze par khade hote hue bhi main gaon ki mitti ki khushboo ko mehsoos kar rahi thi. Mera bedroom, jahan kabhi sirf ek shaadi shuda aurat ki neend thi, ab ek ajib si khali-pan se bhara hua tha - jaise koi apni ch*t ki garmi kho chuka ho.
4 Hafte Baad – Ulta Pulta Ehsaas
Subah ki chai ka cup haath se fisla toh sofa pe gir kar shatter ho gaya. "Arey Didi!" Meri maid ne haath pakadne ki koshish ki, uski ungliyan mere pet ko chhoo gayi. "Aap itne pareshan kyun hain? Aapka pet bhi thoda..."
Main ne apni matli hui aankhon se use dekha, apne pet ko halka sa chupate hue. "Bas... thakaan hai." Par andar to main jaanti thi - yeh thakaan nahi, Ramu ke bachhe ka asar tha.
Subah ki ulti ne toh mujhe sab bata diya. Doctor ke clinic mein baithi meri ungliyan bench ke kinare ko itni kaseer se pakad rahi thi ke nakhun safed ho gaye. Mera pet andar se kuch keh raha tha - "Tere andar Ramu ka hissa pal raha hai."
"Badhai ho," doctor ne muskura kar kaha. "Aap maa banne wali hain. Kya aapke pati ko khushi hogi?"
Meri aankhon se aansuon ki nadi beh nikli. Khushi? Darr? Ya phir woh garam ehsaas jab tum jante ho ki tumhare pet mein woh l@nd ka hissa pal raha hai jo tumhari ch*t mein itni der tak tha?
9 Mahine – Har Pal Ek Yaad
Raat ko jab bhi main apne badhte hue pet ko sehlati, woh gaon ki raatein yaad aa jati - Ramu ka haath mere baalon mein, uska bada sa l@nd mere andar, uska seena meri peeth ka sahaara. Kya woh bhi apne haathon se is bache ko mehsoos karta hoga?
"Kaisa hoga tu?" Main ne apni diary mein likha, apne ubre hue pet ko sehlate hue. "Tere papa ki kadi aankhein, unka bada sa l@nd, meri geeli ch*t... hum dono ka pyaar tere andar ghula hua."
Doctor ne poocha: "Pata hai papa ka blood group?"
Main ne apni aankhein jhuka li, apni thighs ko kaseer se dabochte hue. "Woh... door hai." Door toh tha par uska hissa mere pet mein pal raha tha.
Janam Ka Lamha – Pyaar Ki Gehrai
Dard ki lehron mein bhi main Ramu ko yaad kar rahi thi. "Aa jao," main ne karraayi, apne paseene se latpatte hue badan ko sambhalte hue. "Dekho tumhara m*ni kaise ek nayi zindagi ban raha hai."
Phir woh awaaz aayi - ek choti si cheekh. Bacche ne pehli saans li. Jab use mere stanon se lagaya gaya, usne apni choti si mutthi meri ungliyon mein daboch li - jaise Ramu ne kabhi mera haath dabocha tha.
"Dekhiye," nurse ne hans kar kaha. "Bacche ne pehli baar maa ko pehchaan liya." Pehchaan liya? Woh toh apne baap ki khushboo bhi pehchan lega.
Lekin jab usne pehli bar mera doodh piya, main bilak kar ro di. Kyunki us pal mujhe ehsaas hua - yeh wohi pyaar hai jo main Ramu ke l@nd se apne andar le aayi thi. Uski virya ab meri chhaati se bahar aa rahi thi.
Ek Nayi Zindagi – Purani Yaadein
Ab jab bhi main apne bete ko doodh pilati hoon, uski aankhein dekhti hoon - kya woh apne baap ki tarah nazar utha kar dekhega? Kya woh bhi apne l@nd se kisi ko itni khushi dega?
Aaj bhi raat ko jab woh roti hai, main use apne seene se lagati hoon aur gaon ki hawa ko yaad karti hoon. Koi condom nahi tha, koi sharm nahi thi - bas ek sachcha pyaar tha jo ab meri god mein sota hai, apne baap ki tarah hi gehri neend mein.
Train ki ticket ab bhi meri diary mein rakhi hai - kabhi na kabhi, ek din, yeh baccha apne baap ki zameen zaroor dekhega... aur apni asli virasat ko pehchanega.
Milk & Memories
"Maa... doodh," mere bete ne apna munh mere stanon ki taraf kiya.
Main ne apni blouse kholi, uska munh apne nipple se lagaya. "Peelo beta... yeh teri paidaish ka asli sach hai."
Jab uska munh mere nipple se chipka, main ne apni aankhein band kar li. Wahi ehsaas - jaise us raat Ramu ka munh mere stanon pe tha. Uski zabaan ka wahi lachak, wahi chusne ka andaaz.
Mera doodh bahar aa gaya, jaise us raat Ramu ka m*ni mere andar gaya tha. Dono hi pal equally pyare the. Dono hi pal equally... haram.