Dusri Qist
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sari raat hi maine chhat par nikaal di thi. shahid ki kameengi ki waja se meri zindagi mein bhunchal aa gaya tha. mai soch bhi nahi sakta tha, zindagi aisa mod bhi le le gi. ye to abhi shuruaaat thi. bohut si khaufnak baaten mere zehen ko chakrati rahi thi. pata nahi kyun mera brain expire nahi ho gaya tha. aisi aisi ulti seedhi ghatya sochen mere zehen mein aane lagi thi.
puri raat main pal pal marta raha. apni ammi ko kai baar shahid ke sath maine khalyali ankhon se naqaabil e aitraz halat mein dekha tha. aur ammi jan ke chahre par ek bhi salwat nahi thi. shahid ke sath woh badi khush dikhai de rahi thi. ye sab ammi jan ki mere karib hone par badalti halat ko saamne rakhte hue khud se mere mind mein visualize hua ja raha tha.
singal par larki aur ghar a kar ammi jan ka saans khench mere jism ki mehak ko apne andr khenchna, fir mujhe chahat se dekhna, ammi jan ki ankhon mein laal daure dikhai dena.. uffffffff ammi jaan.. meri ammi jaan.. maine to aaj tak aisi koi bhi ghatya baat nahi sochi thi. meri ammi jan kaise soch sakti thi.
mujhse pyaar karti thi. lekin limit mein rahti thi. jawan bete ke liye maa ke pyaar mein change aa jaya karta hai. tabhi to ammi jaan mujhse khul kar gale nahi laga kar ti thi. mere gaal ko chuma nahi karti thi. lekin aaj mere ghar laut aane ke bad ammi jan khud par se akhtiyaar bhul kar mere liye hamesha se badhkar chahat ka izhaar karti mere gaal ko chum gai thi. mere gaalon par hath fer mujhe meethi nigah se dekhne lagi thi.
fir unka uljhan mein pad jana
mai to kahin ka nahi rahne wala tha. ye sab us shahid haramzade ki waja se hoa ja raha tha..
kuch bhi samjh nahi aa raha tha. ab kaise is sab se bachun.. shahid ne kaha tha, uski ammi jan uske karib aai to usne moke ka fayda utha kar apni ammi jan ko chod dala tha. aur woh inkaar nahi kar saki thi. matlab meri ammi jaan bhi mujhe--
bass isse zayada mujhse socha nahi ja raha tha. kaise main aisa ghatya ban sakta tha. kyaa halat mujhe isi orr aane par majbur karne wale the. ya fir--
uffffff ufffffff ufffffffff
dimag ki chaulen hil kar rah gai thi.
subah hui to ammi jan ke uthne se pahle hi main neeche chala gya. track suit pahn kar kribi park ja pohncha.. mai apni hi sochon mein uljha hua tha. bhul gaya. hosh der se aaya. jo bhi larki mere karib se guzarti mujhe ajeeb nazron se dekhne lagti..
mai unhe pahle to apni taraf dekh dhayan nahi de paya. fir sab yaad aaya.. sath yaad aaya shahid ka ghatyapan.. har nigah pal bhar ke liye meri liye muskurati nigah ban jaya karti. mujhse se thodi door chale jane par hairat aur uljhan bhari nigah palat palat kar mujhe dekhne lagti.
meri aur bhi zayada satakne lagi. mai wahi side hatke ek bench par beth dono hathun se sir ko thaam gaya
mai -- ye kyaa ho gaya.. shahid kutte ye tuney kyaa kar dala mere sath... aaj tak ek ek qadam phoonk phoonk kar uthaya maine. apne sath sath hamesha apne ghar ki, baradari ki izzat ka khayal rakha. ek standard tha mera. tu shahid tuney....... sab kuch darham barham kar dala.. bohut galat kia shahid tuney.. tujhe mere sath aisa nahi karna chahiye tha..
mai betha betha khaulne laga. raat se jaag raha tha. nind na lene se bhi ankhon ne rang badal lia tha. ab gusse shahid se nafrat ke liye meri ankhon mein kai rang utarne lage.
mera ek dost mere pass aa kar betha.. to main apne khayalon ko jhatakta hua khud ko relax zaahir karta hua usse baaten karne laga
ghar wapis laut kar aaya to ammi jan mujhe door se dekh kar hi muskura padi thi.. ammi jan ab mujhe uljhi hui nahi lagi thi..
mai bathroom mein ghum nahaya. kuch sukoon mila. aaj double time laga kar nahaya tha. kuch uljhane khud se hi dhul gai thi. naha kar bathroom se bahar nikla to ammi jaan ke sath abba ko bethe dekha..
filhal ke liye mere mind se raat wali baaten nikal gai. mai abba ke pass ja betha. 2 4 baaten hui. fir kamre mein chala gaya....
hum karachi ke rahne wale hain. meri sabse chhoti sister kashaf ki shadi nawab shah mein nana family mein hui hai. kashaf wahin apne husband ke sath sattled han. baki meri bahne yahin karachi mein hi hain.. karachi bohut bada shahar hai to kai kai dino bad milna milana hota hai.
nashta kiya aur apni motorcycle par college jane laga. nind puri na hone ki waja se wajud thaka thaka lag raha tha. fir bhi college chala gaya tha. ghar rah kar kyaa karta. koi na koi gadbad ho sakti thi. mai shahid se bhi milna chahta tha. is sab se chhutkara paane ka bhi koi tarika to hoga uske pass.. sath hi main shahid ko maut ke ghaat utar dene ka bhi soch gaya tha.
main bohut darr bhi gaya tha shahid se. usay maut ke ghat utar kar main phansi bhi chadh sakta tha. lekin phansi chadhne ka darr kam tha.
college ja pohncha.. classroom mein enter kiya to sab khusar phusar mein lage hue the. mujhe aaya dekh sab chup kar gaye aur mujhe dekhne lage
mai bhi wahi ruk kar sab ko dekhne laga. pahle din bhi aise hi sab mujhe dekh ekdum se chup kar gaye the. us din sab ek dusre ko dekhne aur jaan pahchan ke liye chup kar gaye the.. aaj baat alag thi. mai ek ek ko ghor se dekhne laga. aaj kai ankhon mein mere liye expressions alag the. larke to nahi lekin larkiyan..
mai sir jhatakta hua honto par smile sajaye sab ko hello bol apne bench par ja betha...
rigth row mein roshana masood jo hasiyat aur paise ke mamle mein mujhse kahin badhkar thi. pahli bar mujhe dekh smile karne lagi. aur mera moh khul gaya. khud par kabu pata hua usay smile se dekha aur sir jhuka gaya
uski nazren mujhe apna tawaf karti dikhai de rahi thi. aur aisi baat pahle kabhi hui hoti to mai khushi se phoola nahi samata. lekin ab ki baat aur thi. shahid aur class mein padhta tha.
madam husna aai.. hello haaye ke bad padhane lagi.. main kabhi kabhi roshana ko dekh leta. woh mujhe dekh smile kar leti. mere aas paas wahi ek larki thi.
mai sivaye smile ke usse kuch aur nahi bola.. break hui.. roshana mere peeche lapki. main jaan gaya tha. aisa hi kuch hoga.. mai tez qadam uthata classroom se nikal corridor ka mod mud uski nazron se ojhal ho gaya tha.
kal raat pahli bar mujhe khul kar paseena aaya tha. singal wali larki aur ghar par ammi jan mere paseene ki tez mehak ki waja se gahri gahri saanse lene par majbur ho gai thi. tabhi subah ammi jan kuch normal dikhi thi. is baat ka mujhe der se ahsas hua tha. roshana bhi mujhe dekh bass smile hi karti rahi thi. uski ankhon mein nashe jaisa kuch nahi tha. haan lekin mere andr ek attraction paida ho gai thi. mere karib hui larki sivaye mere kisi aur ko nahi soch sakti thi.
roshana ka bada bhai bhi same college mein padhta tha. sirphira hi nahi bohut bada bhoond bhi tha. roshana shareer lekin roshana ka bhai ayash tha. larkiyon ke chakkar mein dikhai deta tha. mai is type ka larka nahi tha. larkiyon se door rahne wala larka tha. so aise maamlon se jahan meri jaan jaati thi. wahi mere dil mein ye darr bhi tha. aaj kisi ki bahan beti ke sath kuch galat kia to kal ko koi meri bahno ke sath--
aisi hi soch ka maalik larka tha main.
mai shahid ko talash karne laga. wo to nahi mila. shahid ka ek classmate mil gaya.. usse baat karne par pata chala. shahid aaj college nahi aaya.. pichhle 10 dino mein shahid 2 hi din college aaya tha
shahid nahi aaya tha. usse baat karne ka moka nahi ban paya tha. mera gusa badhne laga. firse ek ulti baat dimag mein aa gai.
kahin shahid mere ghar ammi jaan se milne to nahi chala gaya. aisa hona mumkin to nahi tha. lekin mere andr aisa darr janam le gaya tha. mai college bunk karne ki soch tezi se parking ki taraf badhne laga
door ek jaga mujhe roshana mujhe talash karti dikhai di.. aahh ye kyaa ho raha ha mere sath.. roshana aur mere peeche.. sala kahin uske bhai ne mujhe apni bahan ke sath dekh lia to mere peeche pad jaayega.
mai motorcycle start karta pocket se mobile nikal kar ammi jaan ko call karne ki soch gaya.. ye poochhne ke liye, shahid wahan to nahi aaya
lekin pocket se mobile ka lock kholte hi wahida api ka sms dikha
wahida -- hamza!.. college se wapsi par mujhe sath lete jana!.. yaad se... bhulna mat. bohut dino se mili nahi hon tum se bhi aur ammi jaan se bhi.. dil bohut udas hai..
main reply mein "ok.. aa jaaunga ap ko lene" likh kar send kar gaya... ammi jan ko call kari... lekin call recieve nahi hui.. dil mein ulti seedhi baaten aane lagi.
bhenchod aaj se pahle kabhi aisa nahi hua tha.. khud se hi mera dimag ammi jan aur shahid ki behuda fiml create kiye meri ankhon ke saamne chala raha tha.
motorcycle chalata hua mai bar bar sir jhatak raha tha. shahid ke liye mera gussa badhta hi chala ja raha tha. is usne mujhe kiss chakkar mein uljha aur phansa dia tha... shahid maafi ke layak nahi raha tha ab.. kutte ki maut uska muqadar ban gai thi. izzat ghairat se badhkar bhi kuch hota hai..
meri motorcycle aaj hawai jahaz bani road par bhari traffic ke beech daudti ja rahi thi.
