Chapter 42
Main aur Rahman Bhaijaan hans rahe the, jab unhone meri taraf dekh kar poocha,
“Kitni der se khade ho tum yahan?”
Maine bade aaram se jawab diya,
“Abhi-abhi hi aaya hoon, Bhaijaan. Paanch minute bhi nahi hue honge.”
Mere kehne par woh darwaze ki taraf dekhne lage, aur main bhi unke saath dekhne laga. Dheere se unhone kaha,
“Samreen andar kya kar rahi hogi?”
Unke is sawaal ko maine kuch pal dimaag mein ghumaaya, phir dheere se bola,
“Samreen Bhabhi — mera matlab, Samreen Malkin — abhi Rahul ka... choos rahi hogi, Bhaijaan.”
Mere is jawab par Rahman Bhaijaan ka haath apne laude par chala gaya, aur woh zor se darwaza khatkhatane lage. Saath hi unhone mujhe ishara kiya ki main chup rahoon.
Khaat-khaat-taak-khaat
Hum dono besabri se intezaar kar rahe the ki kab darwaza khule. Mujhe thodi ghabrahat bhi ho rahi thi.
Do minute ke baad darwaza khula. Samreen Malkin saamne aayi; hijab aur kapde wapas pehne hue the. Jaise hi unki nazar hum dono par padi, unki aankhon mein gussa tair gaya.
Samreen Malkin ne mujhe ghoor kar dekha, aur Rahman Bhaijaan ko poori tarah nazarandaaz kar diya. Thande lekin teekhe andaaz mein boli,
“Tujhe yahan pehredari ke liye rakha hai na? Phir tere hote hue kaun gali ka kutta mujhe pareshan kar raha tha? Tujhe nahi pata main masroof thi?”
Unke lafzon se jaise jaan-boojhkar Rahman Bhaijaan ko be-ahmiyat kar diya gaya. Mujhe khoti-khoti sunaane ke baad, unhone Rahman Bhaijaan ki taraf mudkar thodi si naraazgi ke saath kaha,
“Aa gaye? Thodi der baad nahi aa sakte the?”
Unki awaaz mein thandak thi, lekin uske peeche daba hua gussa bhi. Us waqt mujhe Rahman Bhaijaan ki woh baat yaad aayi — Samreen unhe apne zina ka zimmedaar maanti hai. Main halka sa muskuraya aur man hi man tay kiya ki main Rahman Bhaijaan ka saath dunga.
Maine beech mein bol diya,
“Malkin, Rahman Bhaijaan abhi-abhi thake-haare aaye hain. Main kaise inhe baahar rokta?”
Meri baat sun kar Samreen Malkin ne mujhe ghoora, phir dono ko ghar ke andar bulaya. Gusse se dekhte hue boli,
“Kitchen mein subah ka kuch pada hai, kha lo. Ya phir Ayesha Khala ke yahan chale jao, wahan bhi khana mil jaayega.”
Unki awaaz ka thandapan main saaf mehsoos kar sakta tha. Phir bhi maine dobara bol diya,
“Malkin, aap humein kyun bhaga rahi hain? Hum kaunsa aapko pareshan kar rahe hain? Kyun, Rahman Bhaijaan?”
Rahman Bhaijaan ne meri taraf dekha, phir Samreen ki taraf, aur dheere se sir jhuka kar bole,
“Samreen, tum mujhse itni khafa kyun ho? Maine aisa kya kar diya?”
Is baat par Samreen ke chehre ka gussa aur tez ho gaya. Woh boli,
“Rahman, tum achhe se jaante ho ki main kyun tumse naraaz hoon.”
Dono ke beech ki tanavpurna gehraai main saaf mehsoos kar raha tha. Maine unka saath dete hue kaha,
“Samreen Malkin, aap kyun Rahman Bhaijaan se itni khafa hain? Maana ki unse kuch galtiyan hui, lekin yeh bhi toh dekhiye — unki wajah se hi toh aapko Rahul mila, jise aap chahti hain. Aur Rahman Bhaijaan kaunsa aapko mana kar rahe hain? Woh toh sirf aapki khushi chahte hain.”
Meri baat par Rahman Bhaijaan ne haan mein sir hilaaya aur Samreen ki taraf dekhte hue bole,
“Samreen, jo kuch bhi hua, uska zimmedaar main hoon. Lekin batao, kya jo hua, woh sach-much galat tha?”
Maine baat ko aage badhaya,
“Nahi, Bhaijaan, bilkul galat nahi tha. Samreen Malkin, aap hi bataaiye — kya Rahul se milna galat tha?”
Samreen soch mein pad gayi thi, tabhi andar se halla hua. Bedroom ka darwaza khula, aur Rahul saamne aaya — haath mein cigarette, dhuaan udaata hua. Usne teeno ko dekha aur chillaya,
“Kitna waqt lagega, raandi saali?”
Uski awaaz mein gussa tha. Phir bola,
“Aa na, saali! Lund ka khajoora banane pe tuli hai kya?”
Rahul ne hum dono ki taraf dekha tak nahi. Main muskura kar pooch baitha,
“Kya haal hai, Rahul? Maze mein ho na?”
Usne jhat se jawab diya,
“Lund maze mein hai, madarchod. Yeh chinnal yahan gyaan uda rahi hai!”
Yeh sunkar hum chaaron hans pade. Ek pal ke liye lagaa jaise kuch der pehle ka sara tanav hawa mein ghul gaya.
Maine chehakte hue Rahman Bhaijaan ki taraf dekha,
“Bhaijaan, aap kya soch rahe hain? Rahul ji wait kar rahe hain. Aap Samreen Bhabhi ko le jaiye, aur saunp dijiye unhe Rahul ko!”
Rahman Bhaijaan ne meri baat sun kar ek lambi saans li. Unki aankhon mein hichkichahat thi, lekin dheere se unhone Samreen ka haath thaam liya. Samreen ne ek pal ke liye unki taraf dekha — uski aankhon mein gussa tha, aur uske saath ek dard bhi.
Rahman Bhaijaan ne halki si jhijhak ke saath uska haath Rahul ki taraf badhaya, jaise koi anmol cheez kisi aur ke hawale kar raha ho. Rahul ne cigarette phenk di, ek teekhi muskaan ke saath Samreen ka chehra apne haathon mein liya, aur uske hothon par bhookha chumban rakh diya.
Pehle Samreen ne thoda sa virodh kiya, phir khud ko uske hawale kar diya. Rahul ne ek jhatke mein use apni baahon mein utha liya aur bedroom ki taraf le gaya.
Darwaza band hone ki awaaz aayi. Andar se halla sunayi diya. Main aur Rahman Bhaijaan ek doosre ki taraf dekh kar bas muskura diye.
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Darwaza band hone ke turant baad hum dono ne apne-apne kaan laga diye; shuru mein toh kuchh sunai nahi de raha tha, lekin kareeb paanch minute baad dheeme-dheeme siskiyon ki awaaz aani shuru hui. Samreen ki halki cheekhein, Rahul ke bhaari saanson ka shor, aur bed ke chirkne ki rhythmic awaaz jaise andar ka intense khel bata rahi thi. Main Rahman Bhaijaan ki taraf dekha, jo apne laude ko sehla rahe the, aur dheeme se bola, “Bhaijaan, suno toh! Lagta hai Rahul ji ne Samreen Malkin ko poori tarah se apne neeche daba liya hai. Yeh siskiyan sun kar toh aisa lag raha hai jaise woh andar ek nayi duniya bana rahe hain.” Rahman Bhaijaan ne ek muskurahat di aur bole, “Haan Imran, tu sahi kehta hai. Main toh bas yahan khada dekh raha hoon ki meri Samreen kisi aur ke saath kitni gehri masti mein hai.” Andar se Rahul ki awaaz aayi, “Ab zor se le, saali,” aur Samreen ki cheekh aur tez ho gayi, jaise woh uske har dhakke par khud ko kho rahi ho.
Maine baat aage badhayi, “Arre Bhaijaan, yeh toh poora ladai chal raha hai andar! Rahul ji ke dhakke sun kar lag raha hai aapko ek aur beta ho hi jayega aaj — asli wala, Rahul ke rang ka!” Rahman Bhaijaan ke chehre par ek ajeeb si chamak aayi, jaise woh is baat se khush bhi ho rahe hon aur chhota bhi mehsoos kar rahe hon, aur woh dheeme se bole, “Imran, tu bhi na... par sahi kehta hai, woh andar Samreen ko aise sambhaal raha hai jaise main kabhi nahi kar paaya.” Awaazein ab charam ki taraf badh rahi thi — Samreen ki siskiyon mein ek kameeni masti, Rahul ke taanon mein haramipaan, “Ab chilla, randi, bata kis ka hai yeh sab.” Maine hans kar kaha, “Bhaijaan, dekho na, hum yahan baithe sun rahe hain, aur woh andar wo kameena chode ja raha hain. Yeh hai asli maza — apni biwi ko kisi aur ke haathon mein dekhna!” Rahman Bhaijaan ne sir hila kar tasleem ki, unki aankhon mein ek khushi thi, jaise sab kuchh jaan-boojhkar ho raha ho.