★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2025 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Lucifer]

Unfortunately We are facing a server issue which limits most users from posting long posts which is very necessary for USC entries as all of them are above 5-7K words ,we are fixing this issue as I post this but it'll take few days so keeping this in mind the last date of entry thread is increased once again,Entry thread will be closed on 7th May 11:59 PM. And you can still post reviews for best reader's award till 13th May 11:59 PM. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

You can PM your story to any mod and they'll post it for you.

Note to writers :- Don't try to post long updates instead post it in 2 Or more posts. Thanks. Regards :- Luci

 

[THE ETERNITY]

aapne bahut hi sunder aur nishpaksh smiksha di hai sir. aur aapki smiksha ne meri is sadharan ki rachna ko vishesh bana diya hai. kahani kyunki short thi to kuchh chijen jaldbaji mein dikhani padi. aapki smiksha ki sari baten bahut achhi lagi chahe positive ho ya negative bas ek baat thodi ajib lagi...jo aapne likha "bachon ke liye upyukt" mere hisab se to jo mudda maine yahan rakha hai sir, use badon ko samajhna jyada jaruri hai. waise thanks a lot sir for such a lovely review and I hope you will give review on my second story also.

Its my mistake I am an sorry
Its a typing error , sentence arrange karte samay hogaya tha.

bacho और बड़ों के लिए उपयुक कहानी
Orginal version tha

Aapki दूसरी स्टोरी ka review aaj karta hu

I hope you don't mind about that

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Innocent wife Reena
Writer - lustyreenaroy
Rating - 5.5/10


ek aisi kahani jisme ek sanskaari patni apne pati ke peeche chhupkar apni nayi duniya ke darwaze kholti hai.

Kahani shuru hoti hai Reena ke roop ke varnan se, jisme uski badi chuchiyaa, gadrayi gand, aur patli kamar ka zikr kaafi detailed hai. Yeh varnan reader ke dimaag mein ek clear tasveer banata hai, jo is genre ki kahaniyon ke liye ek zaroori baat hai. Reena ka Instagram ID banane ka faisla aur uska Jallad Singh naam ke ek mard se jaldi hi khulkar baat karna kahani ko tezi deta hai. Ye raftaar is tarah ki kahaniyo me thodi zaruri hoti hai kyunki reader ko zyada intezaar nahi karna padta. Video call ka scene, jisme Reena apni saree ka pallu hatati hai aur apne badan ko dikhati hai, kaafi provocative aur intense hai. Iske saath hi, pati ke perspective ka istemaal ek interesting angle deta hai. Uska dil ka dhadakna jab use Reena ki ID ka pata chalta hai, uska chhupkar unki baate dekhna, aur phir uska arousal ye sab ek realistic layer add karta hai jo kahani ko thodi si gehraai deta hai. Reena ka sanskaari biwi se ekdum bold aur besharm aurat ban jaana bhi kahani ke mood ko kaafi uttejak banata hai. Yeh sab milakar kahani ko ek entertaining read banate hai,

Lekin ye kahani bhi kamzoriyo se nahi bach paayi. Sabse badi baat yeh hai ki isme koi nayaapan nahi hai. Ek biwi ka chhupkar kisi gair mard se baat karna, Instagram ke zariye connection banana, aur phir video call par bold hona ye sab hum pehle bhi kayi baar padh chuke hai XF pe aisi kahaniya common hai ki isme kuchh alag ya nayi baat ki zarurat thi, jo yaha nahi dikhti. Reena aur Jallad ke characters kaafi one-dimensional hai. Reena bas ek "hot biwi" ke roop mein dikhayi gayi hai, jabki Jallad ek stereotypical lusty mard hai jo predictably bold baate karta hai. Pati ka perspective bhi ek promising angle tha, lekin iska poora istemaal nahi hua. Uska emotional conflict gussa, dukh, ya uski arousal ke peeche ka confusion zyada deeply explore nahi kiya gaya jo kiya ja sakta tha. Aksar aisi kahaniyo mein pati ka inner struggle kahani ko aur gehra banata hai, lekin yaha wo bas ek silent observer ban kar reh gaya. In sabhi characters ko aur develop aur explore kiya ja sakta tha jisse kahani aur better hoti

overall kahani theek thak hai lekin ye koi aisi chhap nahi chhodti jo yaad rahe. over use of images bhi kahani ko khas interesting nahi banata aisa laga jaise photo ke caption padh rahe ho kayi jagah, tezi se aage badhta plot, aur pati ke perspective ka thoda sa istemaal iske majboot pehlu hai. Lekin nayaapan ki kami, flat characters, aur thodi si unrealistic baate isko ek average read banati hain. Agar writer thodi aur creativity, emotional depth, ya unexpected twists daal pati, toh shayad ye kahani aur yaadgaar ho sakti thi. Abhi ke liye, ye ek one-time read hai jo apne maqsad ko poora karti hai, lekin XF ke dher saari kahaniyon ke beech koi khaas pehchaan nahi bana paati. all the best for contest

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Who Tricked Whom?
Writer - kinkystuff
Rating - 8/10

ek aisi kahani jo Aarav aur Naina ke rishte ki jatilta aur unke jeevan mein aayi uljhano ko darshati hai. Kahani ki shuruaat Aarav ke accident se hoti hai, jo uske jeevan ko hamesha ke liye badal deta hai. Aarav, jo kabhi kismat mein vishwas nahi karta tha, apne aap ko ek aise haal mein pata hai jahaan uski zindagi palat chuki hai. Andha, aakarmak, aur apni patni Naina ke daya par nirbhar, Aarav ek aisa khel khelne pe majboor ho jaata hai jiske niyam usne nahi banaye.

Kahani ki taqat iske pacing aur suspense me hai. Har chhoti detail aur chup rehna ek bade sach ki taraf ishara karte hai. Jab Naina ka betrayal saamne aata hai, toh woh ek jhatke ki tarah lagta hai, lekin saath hi saath ek aisa bhi jo kahi na kahi expected tha. writer ne Aarav ke emotional struggle ko khoobsurati se pakda hai. Uski bebasi, uska gussa, aur uski badla lene ki pyaas, sab kuch reader ko uske kareeb le aata hai. Naina ka character bhi utna hi interesting hai. Uski berukhi, uski khudgarzi, aur uske betrayal ke peeche ke karan, kahani ko gehraai dete hai.

Kahani mein emotional depth hai jo reader ko Aarav ki manovyatha aur uski chinta ko mehsoos karne mein madad karti hai. Aarav aur Naina ke charakters me jo development hai, wo kahani ko aur bhi gehra banata hai. Kahani mein har mod par suspense hai jo reader ko aage badhne ke liye majboor karta hai. Naina ki chhal aur Aarav ka badla lene ka plan kahani ko aur bhi rochak banata hai.

wahi story me kuch kamiya bhi hai. Kuch scenes thode zyada descriptive hai aur kahani ke flow ko thoda disturb karte hai. Kahani mein moral ambiguity hai jo reader ko confuse kar sakti hai. Dono charakters ke faisle aur unke actions kabhi kabhi samajhna mushkil ho sakta hai. Kuch scenes thoda repetitive lagte hai jo kahani ke flow ko thoda kamjor karte hai.

still ye ek aisi kahani hai jo aapko sochne pe majboor karegi. Ye ek aisi kahani hai jo betrayal, badla, aur insaani rishto ki complexity ko ek nayi roshni mein dikhaati hai. Ye kahani unke liye hai jo thoda dark aur intense reads pasand karte hai. Ye aapko andar tak hila degi aur aapko apne aas-paas ke rishto ke baare mein dobara sochne pe majboor karegi.

overall ye story ek gehri aur jatil dastaan hai jo reader ko har mod par ashcharyachakit karti hai. Agar aap psychological complexity aur nuanced character studies ko pasand karte hai, to ye kahani aapke liye hai.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Born Again For The Cup
Writer - THE ETERNITY
Rating - 8/10

ek anokhi aur romanchak kahani jo ek vyakti, Aveer, ke sapne aur reality ke beech ke safar ko darshati hai. Kahani ka concept kaafi naya aur dilchasp hai, jahan Aveer ko marne ke baad World Cup 2023 mein India ke liye khelne ka avsar milta hai. Yeh kalpnik vichar reader ko sochne par majboor karta hai aur kahani ko ek alag hi roop deta hai.

Kahani ki shuruaat mazedaar hai, khaaskar God ke saath Aveer ki baatcheet jo hasya se bhari hui hai. Ye light-hearted humor kahani ko engaging banata hai aur reader ko kahani ke saath jodta hai. Cricket fans ke liye yeh kahani ek treat hai, kyunki matches ke descriptions detailed aur exciting hain. Aise lagta hai jaise aap match live dekh rahe ho, aur Aveer ka Shubman Gill ki jagah khelna aur phir World Cup jeetna, ye cricket premiyo ke liye ek sapne ke sach hone jaisa hai.

Kahani me humor aur emotion ka sahi mel hai, jo reader ko kahani ke saath jodta hai. Kahani ke aakhir me, jab Aveer ko pata chalta hai ki ye sab ek sapna tha, toh ek emotional connect banta hai. Sapne aur reality ke beech ka yeh contrast kahani ko gehraai deta hai. Kahani se ek prernaadayak sandesh bhi milta hai apne sapnon ko kabhi mat chhodo, chahe kuch bhi ho jaaye.

Lekin kahani thodi lambi hai aur kuch jagah par pacing slow ho jati hai, jo reader ka dhyan bhatka sakti hai. Aveer ke background aur vyaktitva ko thoda aur explore kiya ja sakta tha, jisse reader uske saath aur bhi connect kar pate.

overall ye ek entertaining aur heartwarming story hai jo sapne aur reality ke beech ke safar ko darshati hai. Kahani me humor, emotion, aur cricket ka sahi mel hai, jo reader ko engaged rakhta hai. Agar aap cricket aur kalpana ke fan hai, to ye kahani aapke liye ek must-read hai. Ye kahani aapko hasayegi, rulaayegi, aur sapne jeene ki prerna degi. Is kahani ko main 8/10 rating deta hu, kyunki ye reader ko sochne par majboor karti hai aur ek naya drishtikon prastut karti hai. All the best for contest bhai kafi sahi likhe ho

 

[Yug Purush]

Ritual by harshit1890

Ye story un readers ke liye must read hai jinke dark, suspence, psychological thriller type story pasand hai... Harshit bhai ki stories ka ek alag hee level rahta hai.. Jo is story me bhi hai.. Supernatural + psychological in dono ka combo jaha kuch readers ke liye jannat raha hoga to wahi kuch ke dimag ki nashe fool gayi hongi meri khud yahi haalat thi, fir story ke kayi part dobara padhe tab jakar santushti ho is layak samajh aayi... Plot unique tha par sath me depth bhi tha.. Ye nahi ki upar upar se.. Ye hua.. Iska ye matlab hai wo matlab hai.. Kahke story rafa dafa kar di.. Bakayda story me gaand maari gayi hai ritual ko lekar... Uske bawjood ant me readers yahi puchhega ki sala sach me kuch hua yaa gufa me hee vikrant story sochne laga..?? Aur wahi tay bol gaya.. Story me waise to mujhe koyi kami nahi dikhi par typos kuch jyada hai jo Hariya kaku jaise avval darje ke writers se ummid nahi hoti ki wo aisi mistakes karenge..

Story shuruat se hee gripping hai.. Jisne padhna chalu kiya wo ant tak padh kar hee maanega, ise is shaili me likha gaya hai, bas ritual actually me book me tha kya.. Wo idhar udhar karke yadi readers ko maloom ho jata to aur badhiya rahta.. Aur kaise vikrant ke gufa me rahne yaa marne se pura hua...?? Vikrant ki wife aur bache wala scene aaine me dekhna bahut solid scene tha.. Isko aur touch karke dikhana tha.
Anyway, overall its a winning story... 9/10, imo

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - विश्वास और इंतज़ार
Writer - Raj_sharma
Rating - 8/10

prem, tyaag, aur pachtave ki bhavnao ko gehraai se samajhne ka avsar deti huyi story. Shekhar aur Shikha ki prem kahani samay ki kathin pariksha se guzar kar ek aise mod par aati hai, jaha umeed aur nirasha ka sangam hota hai. Kahani ki shuruaat se lekar antim tak, lekhak ne bhavnao ka ek aisa jaal buna hai jo paathak ko apne saath baandh leta hai.

Kahani ki sabse badi takat uski bhavnatmak gehraai hai. Shekhar aur Shikha ke beech ka rishta aur unke beech ki doori, dono hi paathak ke dil ko chhu jaate hai. Shekhar ka pachtava aur Shikha ki mazbooti kahani ko ek alag hi maadhurya pradaan karte hai. Lekhak ne bhasha ka prayog bahut hi saadgi aur madhurta ke saath kiya hai, jo kahani ke prabhav ko aur badha deti hai. Baarish, pahadon, aur baadalon ka varnan itna jeevant hai ki paathak apne aap ko us mahaul me mehsoos karne lagta hai. Prakriti aur manushya ke beech ka sambandh kahani ko aur bhi rochak banata hai.

Iske bawajood, kahani mein kuch kamjoriya bhi hai. Kahani ka plot thoda purana lag sakta hai, aur aaj ke daur me shayad Shekhar aur Shikha ke beech itni badi galatfehmi na hoti. Samay ke beech ka antar kuch aspasht hai, aur 17 saalon ke antaraal ko thoda aur vistarit kiya ja sakta tha. Shikha ki betiyo ke charakters ko thoda aur vikasit kiya ja sakta tha, aur unke vyaktitva aur unki kahani mein bhoomika ko aur vistar diya ja sakta tha. Kahani ke kuch hisso mein atishayokti ka prayog kiya gaya hai, jo kahani ki vaastvikata ko khi khi prabhavit krta hai

overall ye ek aisi prem ki kahani hai jo paathak ke dil ko gehraai se chhu jaati hai. Iske kuch kamjor paksh hone ke baavajood, yeh kahani prem, tyaag, aur zindagi ke sankalp ki ek sundar kahani hai. Agar aapko bhavnatmak aur dil ko chhu lene wali kahaaniya pasand hai, to ye kahani aapke liye avashya padne yogya hai. Kahani ki bhavnatmak gehraai aur uska prabhav aapko sochne par majboor kar dega, aur shayad aapke apne rishtey aur zindagi ke faisle ko naye nazariye se dekhne ka avsar pradaan karega.
well Written Raj_sharma bhai

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - A Chance
Writer - SHOTO
Rating - 8/10

English story but review in hindi only. prem, aatma-swikriti, aur samajik dbaav ke beech ke sangharsh ko bahut hi gehraai se darshati story. Kahani ka kendra hai Ruhi aur Naitik, do alag-alag vyakti jo apne sapno aur samajik dbaav ke beech joojhte hain. Ruhi ek sadharan ladki hai jo apne pyaar ke liye sab kuch karne ko taiyar hai, aur uska jazba aur himmat kahani ko ek alag hi gehraai dete hai. Uska character bahut hi sensibal aur relatable hai, jo depression aur recovery ke maadhyam se apni kahani ko aur bhi prabhavit banata hai.

Naitik ka character arc bhi bahut prabhavit karta hai. Shuru mein ek aam sa ladka jo samaj ke dar se apne dil ki baat nahi keh paata, lekin baad mein apni galtiyo ko sudharta hai aur ek sachcha pyaar nibhata hai. Uska apne dar se ladna aur Ruhi ke liye apne jazbaat ko swikaar karna kahani ko gehraai deta hai. Neha aur Prachi jaise characters kahani ko aur bhi majboot banate hain, unka samarthan aur samajh kahani ko ek naya aayam dete hai.

Kahani me samajik dbaav aur school ke mahaul me popularity aur social status ke dabbe hue maapdand ko bahut sundar tarike se dikhaya gaya hai. Yeh kahani aapko sochne par majboor karti hai ki aap apne jeevan mein kya chahte hain aur uske liye aap kitna ladne ko tayaar hai. Lekin kahani ki ek kami ye hai ki ye thodi predictable hai. Aap jaante hai ki Naitik aur Ruhi ke beech kya hoga, lekin phir bhi aap unke saath khud ko jod paate hain. Kuch secondary characters jaise Naitik ke dost thode stereotypical lagte hain aur unka vikas kahani mein adhura lagta hai.

Kahani thodi lambi ho jaati hai, jisse beech mein interest kam ho sakta hai, lekin uske bawajood ye kahani aapko apne dil ki sunne aur apne sapno ko poora karne ke liye prerit karti hai. ek gehri, sanvedansheel aur inspiring prem kahani jo sirf dil ko chhuati hai, balki dimag ko bhi sochne par majboor karti hai. Agar aapko dil ko chhoone wali prem kahaniya pasand hai, to ye kahani aapke liye hai. Is kahani ko main 8/10 dunga bhai badhiya story hai

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - AAP KITNE ACHCHHE HAIN PAPA
Writer - BLACK
Rating - 8/10

dil ko gehraai se chhoo jaati hai story. Ye kahani pita-putra ke rishte, pyaar, tyag aur maafi ke vishayo ko explore karti hai. Arjun ka charitra ek samarpit pita ka hai jo apne bete Aman ke liye kuch bhi karne ko taiyaar hai. Kahani ki shuruaat hi bhavnaatmak hai, jab Arjun apne bete ko pehli baar god mein leta hai aur uske baad uski patni Shanti ka dehant ho jaata hai. Ye readers ko kahani se jodne mein madad karta hai.

Sudha ka kirdaar bhi kahani mein ek majboot stambh ki tarah hai. Uski mamta aur tyag, aur apne bete Ankit ke liye uska samarpan, kahani ko aur gehraai dete hai. Kahani samajik sandarbh ko bhi chhooti hai, jahan Sudha jaise charakters ko izzat aur samman milta hai, jo samajik tabqon ke beech ke antar ko ujaagar karta hai. Ye kahani garibi aur samajik vyavastha ke prabhav ko darshati hai, aur ek akeli maa ke sangharshon ko bhi samne laati hai.

Kahani mein parivarik rishton ki jatilta ko achhi tarah se darshaya gaya hai. Arjun aur Aman ke beech ki doori, Sudha aur Ankit ke beech ka sambandh, aur Aman ka gussa aur badalte rishte, sabhi bhavnao ko khoobsurati se pesh kiya gaya hai. Kahani ka sandesh spasht hai: parivar aur pyaar sabse upar hai. Ye maafi aur dusre mauke ki taqat par bhi zor deti hai, jo pathakon ko sochne par majboor karta hai.

Lekin kahani mein kuchh kamiya bhi hain. Kahani mein kuch jagah melodrama ka asar hai, jo thoda filmy lagta hai aur kahani ki vaastvikta ko thoda kam kar sakta hai. Paridhi jaise kuch charakters ko adhik vikas aur gehraai mil sakti thi, jo kahani ko aur majboot banata. Kahani ki gati kahi-kahi dheemi pad jaati hai, jo pathakon ki ruchi ko prabhavit kar sakti hai.

overall ye kahani ek manaviyata se bhari hui yatra hai jo pyaar aur parivarik rishton ki jatiltao ko darshati hai. Ye kahani pathakon ko apne rishto ke punarvichar karne ki prerna deti hai aur unhe maafi aur samajh ka mahatva sikhati hai. Iski bhavnaatmak gehraai aur majboot charitra chitran ise padhne layak banate hai. Great story BLACK

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Mind Game
Writer - RED Ashoka
Rating - 7.5/10

ek aisi kahani jo readers ko manovaigyaanik bhool-bhulaiya me le jaati hai, jahan suspense aur rahasya ka gehra jaal hai. Kahani ka mahaul dark aur thrilling hai, jo Blackwood Manor ki andheri galiyaro aur purani tasveero ke madhyam se jeevant hota hai. Ye setting paathakon ko kahani me kheench leti hai aur unhe uske har mod par jod kar rakhti hai.

Kahani mein suspense aur rahasya ka star shandar hai. Har mod par ek naya twist paathak ki jigyaasa ko badhata hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi rochak banata hai. Lekhak ne manav mann ke gehre aur andhkaar pehluon ko explore kiya hai, jahan sapne, yaade, aur vastavikata ek doosre mein ghul-mil jaate hai. Ye kahani sirf ek thriller nahi, balki ek manovaigyaanik adhyayan hai jo paathak ke mann mein gehre prashn uthata hai.

Patro ka chitran bahut hi sajeev hai. Har patra apne aap me ek kahani hai, unke vyaktitva aur unke beete hue kal ko sujhav se likha gaya hai, jo paathak ko unse jodne mein madad karta hai. Unke vyaktigat sangharsh aur unke manovaigyaanik daur ko prabhavit karne wale tarike se prastut kiya gaya hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi engaging banata hai.

Bhasha aur varnankala prashansha ke layak hai. Lekhak ki bhasha shaili aur shabdon ka chayan kahani ko jeevant banata hai. Saral aur prabhavit bhasha ka prayog kahani ko aur bhi engaging banata hai, jo paathak ko uske har mod par baandhe rakhta hai.

Halaanki, kahani ki sanrachna thodi jatil hai, jo kabhi-kabhi paathak ko bhramit kar sakti hai. Kuch scenes mein yaunik vivaran itna vivid hai ki yeh sabhi paathakon ke liye suvidhaajanak nahi ho sakta. Ant thoda adhoora aur aspasht lagta hai, jo paathak me kuch asantosh paida kar sakta hai. Yeh kahani ke mool uddeshy se thoda hatkar lagta hai, lekin iske bawajood, kahani ki manovaigyaanik gehraai isse ek anokha sthan dilati hai.

ek thrilling aur suspenseful kahani hai jo aapko sochne par majboor kar deti hai. Yeh kahani un readers ke liye hai jo manovaigyaanik thrillers ka aanand lete hain aur jo manav mann ke gehre pehluon ko explore karna chahte hain. Iske kuch technical paksh aur explicit scenes chinta ka vishay ho sakte hai, lekin agar aap ek aisi kahani ki talaash mein hain jo aapko aakhri panne tak baandhe rakhe, to ye ek achha vikalp ho sakta hai. all the best for contest

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Haunted Underwear Ki Kahani
writer - Ashish120
Rating- Declare this as winner

ye kahani ek ajeeb aur bekaar mazak hai. Haunted underwear ka concept sunne mein toh funny lagta hai, lekin isse ek solid kahani banana mushkil hai. Kahani mein logic ki kami hai aur plot kaafi bekaar hai.

Aadmi aur bhootni ke beech ka rishta bina kisi solid background ke bas hawa mein latakta hua lagta hai. Emotional depth ki kami hai, aur characters ka development bilkul bhi nahi dikhai deta. Kahani mein suspense ya thrill ka koi element nahi hai, jo ek horror story mein hona chahiye.

Humor bhi zyada tarah forced lagta hai, jaise writer ne bas kuch funny situations daal di hain bina kisi context ke. Restaurant wala scene toh bilkul hi unrealistic aur childish lagta hai.

Kahani ka end bhi koi impactful ya memorable nahi hai, jaise writer ko khud nahi pata tha ki kahani ko kaise khatam kare.

Salman ke jadui braclet ki takkar ki story ho sakti kya ye