★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2025 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Lucifer]

Unfortunately We are facing a server issue which limits most users from posting long posts which is very necessary for USC entries as all of them are above 5-7K words ,we are fixing this issue as I post this but it'll take few days so keeping this in mind the last date of entry thread is increased once again,Entry thread will be closed on 7th May 11:59 PM. And you can still post reviews for best reader's award till 13th May 11:59 PM. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

You can PM your story to any mod and they'll post it for you.

Note to writers :- Don't try to post long updates instead post it in 2 Or more posts. Thanks. Regards :- Luci

 

[Shetan]

Story - चंदगी राम पहलवान
Writer - Shetan
Rating - 8/10


Chandgi Ram ki kahani ek prernadayak aur bhavnatmak yatra hai jo ek aam vyakti ke asadharan safalta ki kahani ko darshati hai. Is kahani ka mool kendra Bina aur Chandgi ke beech ka rishta hai, jo apne aap me ek gahri bhavnatmak gehraai liye huye hai. Bina ka apne devar ke prati matrutvapurn prem aur samarpan kahani ko ek vishesh roop se prabhavit karta hai. Ye rishta kahani ko ek matra sports safalta ki kahani se aage le jaata hai aur ise ek gatha mein badal deta hai.

Kahani me gaon ke jeevan ka chitran bhi bahut sundar tarike se kiya gaya hai. Harayana ke gaon ki sanskriti, paramparaye aur samajik gathjod ko kahani mein spasht roop se darshaya gaya hai. Ye sabhi tatva kahani ko ek vishwasniyata pradaan karte hain aur readers ko us samay aur sthal ki vastavikta se jodte hai.

aap ek behad hi umda lekhika hai aur ye aapne is naye biography fiction genre ke sath ek baad fir sabit kar diya hai, mujhe haryanvi samajhne me halanki thoda jor lagana pada lekin wahi is kahani ki khasiyat bhi iski bhasha shaili aur sath hi kayi jagah aapne translate bhi kiya hai wo badhiya tha

overall ye kahani ek aisi gatha hai jo dikhati hai ki kaise ek vyakti apne sapno ko pura kar sakta hai aur apne jivan ko badal sakta hai. Ye kahani na keval ek pehalwan ki safalta ki kahani hai, balki ye dikhati hai ki kaise samajik aur parivaarik samarthan kisi ke jeevan ko badal sakta hai. Rating 8/10. all the best for contest.

मुजे बहोत ख़ुशी हुई. आप को स्टोरी पसंद आई. इस कहानी पर मेने बहोत काम किया. हरयाणवी भांशा, वहां के रीत रीवाज, आदत. हर चीज पर. आप की तारीफ आप के रिव्यू से मेरा लिखना सार्थक हुआ. Thankyou very very much.

 

[Kdry9]

Story Review: The Eclipse Empire
Author: Kdry9

A Galactic Soap Opera with Brains, Heart… and Flying Cars​

Let’s be honest — most dystopian tales are either too bleak to breathe or too glossy to believe. The Eclipse Empire somehow pulls off the rare trick of being gritty and glamorous, political and oddly romantic. Kdry9, you’ve clearly binge-watched equal parts Game of Thrones, Black Mirror, and Romeo + Juliet, and somehow turned that chaos into a functioning literary machine.

The world-building? Bold. Seven dynastic families vying for power like corporate mafia families with a flair for neon. The Sharma Dynasty sits atop this empire like a cyber-throne.... ruthless, elite, and in control of everything but the truth.

And then there’s Mahira Sharma, equal parts political heir and poetic rebel. She’s intelligent, composed, and thankfully not your typical dystopian “chosen one.” Her compassion isn’t just window dressing — it’s a catalyst that changes the course of this high-stakes story. When she dons a disguise and meets Kabir, a brooding, dangerous bounty hunter with a heart (and abs) of gold.. sparks fly, guns fire, and secrets spill.

Now, let's talk about Kabir... He might just be the only bounty hunter in fiction who can flirt, philosophize, and hack a security system all in one scene without breaking a sweat. Is he a little too perfect? Maybe. But I am not complaining.

The pacing rarely drags. The author keeps the momentum ticking like a luxury drone engine. Dialogues? Sharp. Snappy. Believable. Occasionally deliciously melodramatic. in a good way. The moral layers of compassion vs. power and loyalty vs. truth are treated with maturity. There’s a lovely balance between action sequences and emotional payoff. And the world beneath the surface.. the lower levels of Eclipse Prime, is haunting and well-rendered.
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A few tropes make guest appearances (secret identities, resistance movements, star-crossed lovers), though they’re handled with enough freshness not to feel tired. Shamita, the antagonist, occasionally slips into moustache-twirling territory, though it is hard not to enjoy her brand of icy ambition. And while the story lands emotionally, the resolution does feel a tad too neat for the tangled web it weaves.

That said, The Eclipse Empire is one of those stories that knows it’s theatrical — and that’s its strength. It’s unapologetically epic, emotionally intelligent, and cinematic too..

Final verdict:
If you want a dystopia where people bleed, love, scheme, kiss during stakeouts, and question generational power structures — but still manage to look great while doing it — then this one’s for you. Just don’t get too attached to anyone. Unless it's Kabir. Because clearly, everyone’s a little bit in love with Kabir.

Rating: 8.5/10​

vakharia ji

First of all, thank you for reading my story in such detail.

Even Your observation about Kabir is spot on! I deliberately crafted him to be that magnetic character everyone gravitates toward, so it's rewarding to see that element came through so clearly.

I truly appreciate your thoughtful critique - it's validating to see readers connect with exactly the emotional and thematic elements I hoped would resonate. Thank you for taking the time to engage so deeply with my story !

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Ek Shadishuda Aurat. Uspe Gairon ki Nazar..
writer - labia
Rating- 6.5/10

ek sensual aur provocative sex story jo Sania, ek nayi shadi-shuda aurat, aur Ketu, ek hawasi technician ke aaspas ghumti hai. Garmi ka mausam, AC ke liye bechaini, aur Sania ka akelapan kahani ko ek perfect erotic vibe dete hai, jo ek galat pal ke zariye climax tak jati hai.

Kahani ka mahaul shuru se hi garam hai April ki garmi, Sania ka nighty pehen kar kachra daalne jana, aur usko ghoorta kachra gaadi wala helper ye sab ek sensual tension banate hai. Sania ka character ek aam aurat ka hai jo apne pati Aayan se pyar karti hai, lekin uski doori aur shadi ke baad wali physical pyaas usko vulnerable banati hai. Writer ne chhoti details, jaise Sania ka patli nighty pehenna ya Ketu ka uske jism ko ghurna, ka istemal karke erotic buildup kiya hai. Ketu, jo ek technician ke roop me aata hai, ek tipikal tharki mard hai, jiska backstory uski biwi ke chhod jaane ka zikr karta hai. Uska character thoda predictable hai, lekin uska Sania ke saath interaction ek disturbing lekin mazedaar dynamic banata hai.

Lekin kahani ka first half thoda slow hai, jisme Sania ki daily routine aur garmi ki shikayate zyada focus leti hain. Ye details vibe banane ke liye zaruri hai, lekin thodi trimming isse aur crisp kar sakti thi. Ketu ka character bhi thoda repetitive lagta hai ek aisa mard jo bas aurato ke pichhe pada hai, ye trope thoda purana hai. Scene ka consent aspect bhi thoda blurry hai, jo kuch readers ke liye mood kharab kar sakta hai, kyunki Sania ka na saath dena na virodh karna confusing lagta hai. Supporting characters jaise Aayan aur Sania ki ammi sirf plot ko aage badhate hai, unme koi khas mazaa nahi hai. Sensual descriptions kabhi-kabhi zyada ho jati hain, jo thoda monotonous sa laga.

overall story ek mazedaar sex story hai jo khali sex lovers ke liye hai still iske sex scenes aur badhiya likhe ja sakte the. kahani badhiya hai lekin aur behtar ho sakti thi. all the best for contest

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - A Day as a Moderator ( LSB Section )
Writer - AddiXtion
Rating - 9/10 (Khali XF ke liye)

Waah! kya hi story likh dali hai XF ka sabse umda but sabse forbidden hisaa story to deserve karta hi hai

Yeh kahani sirf ek kahani nahi, balki Xforum ke anokhe aur rangeen mahol ki ek dilkash painting hai jaha har roz kuch na kuch naya drama, mazaa, aur vyang ka cocktail banta hai. Abhay ne is comedy ke zariye forum ke members aur moderators ke vyaktitva ko itni khubsurati se pakda hai ki padhte waqt lagta hai jaise main khud wahan us office me, us LSB section ke sawaalo ke bhawar me, ya fir Rocky bhai ke saath Russian choot ke sapne dekh raha hoon. Ye kahani ek aaina hai jo hum sabke forum ke kisse-kahaniyon ko hasya aur vyang ke saath pesh karta hai, aur isme woh jaadu hai jo ek Xfians ko apne ghar me hone ka ehsaas dilata hai.

Kahani ka jadugarana andaaz uss waqt shuru hota hai jab Abhay, apni nausikhiyi aur thodi si hawas ke chakkar mein, ek aise safar par nikal padta hai jo use Priyanka ke dildo waale khatarnak encounter se leke Xforum ke office tak pahuncha deta hai. Abhay ka khud ko ek aisa ladka dikhana jo choot ke peeche bhagta hai, lekin har baar galti se mushkil mein phas jata hai, is kahani ka dil hai. Abhay bhai ka ye self-deprecating humor, jahan wo khud ko ek nakara aur thodi si comedy ka shikaar dikhata hai, forum ke uss vibe ko pakadta hai jahan har koi ek doosre ka mazak udata hai, lekin dil se dil tak baat jati hai.

Xf ke characters ka zikr kiye bina yeh review adhura rahega. Rocky bhai yani apne Elon Musk_ ka Russian choot ke piche bhagna, Werewolf ka apni kahaniyo ke liye “tatte chatwane” wala attitude, Adirshi ka gussa aur uska dhamkana, aur Lucifer ka last mein “saviour” ban kar aana ye sab characters jaise forum ke asli logon ke roop mein saamne aate hai. Har ek character ke saath ek
stereotype juda hai Rocky ka chut obsession, Adirshi ka strict moderator wala rup, ye stereotypes itne sahi se likhe gaye hai ki inhe padhkar hasi ke saath saath ek ghar jaisa ehsaas hota hai. Ye woh log hai jinke saath hum din bhar forum pe bita dete hai, Abhay bhai ne in characters ke zariye forum ke har rang ko ek canvas par utara hai, aur ye dekhkar dil khush ho jata hai.



ab aate hai main mudde ki or jo hai LSB. LSB section ka chitraan is kahani ka sabse badhiya aur entertaining hissa hai. ek alag hi duniya hai wo aur usko waise hi ekdum sahi aur alag andaz me pesh kiya gaya hai.


I recommend this story to every xfian kyunki isme wo sab kuch hai jo hum forum par dekhte hai, aur main sure hu isko likhne ke liye kafi din LSB me gujare honge tumne jo koi aam baat nahi hai aur isi mehnat aur LSB me gujare samay ke chalte ye story 9/10 ki rating deserve karti hai
humme to na hai LSB me itna samay bitane ki himmat. All the best for contest.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story- MAA AUR MAUSAJI KE KARIBI RISHTE
Writer - LONELYCHAHAK
Rating - 6.5/10

Yeh kahani ek aisi duniya se rubaru karwati hai jo samaj ke saaf chehre ke peeche chhupi hoti hai ek aisi katha hai jo Indian parivaar ke dual nature ko ubharti hai. XF pe aisi bhatero kahaniya bhari padi hai

Kahani ka sabse bada plus point iska detailed narration hai mummy ka bazaaru saree look, dadi ji ka sanskari gyaan, aur mausaji ki aankhon ki sharaarat sab aankhon ke saamne aa jaata hai. Narrator ke roop mein beta jo sirf observe karta hai, uska perspective kahani ko voyeuristic thrill deta hai. Sanskaar aur chhupi kaamukta ka yeh takraav kahani ko relatable banata hai,

Lekin kahani ki asli kami hai originality aur depth ka abhav. Is genre mein yeh sab pehle bhi dekha ja chuka hai rishtedaaro ke beech affair, pooja ghar ka backdrop, aur explicit scenes. Twist ya emotional complexity nahi hone se kahani ek layer tak hi simit reh jaati hai. Characters ke motives ya guilt par focus nahi hai, aur har scene ka detailed hona thodi monotony laata hai. Agar thoda subtlety, guilt ya internal conflict hota, toh kahani aur gehri hoti.

Bhasha simple aur genre-appropriate hai, lekin kabhi-kabhi zyada crude ho jaati hai. Thodi poetic ya layered language use hoti, toh kahani zyada yaadgaar ban sakti thi. Characters apni ichchhao se kabhi joojhte nahi dikhte, jisse moral grey areas miss ho jaate hai.

overall, yeh kahani khali sex story ke readers ke liye ek entertaining experience hai engaging aur thrilling. Hypocrisy aur kaamukta ka contrast achhe se dikhaya gaya hai. Lekin originality aur emotional depth ki kami ke kaaran yeh ek aur familiar kahani ban jaati hai. Genre ke shaukeen isse enjoy karenge, lekin nayaapan dhoondhne wale shayad disappoint ho sakte hai. Kahani apna kaam karti hai, par behtar ho sakti thi. all the best for contest

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Buddhy ne Dr mummy ko pata kar choda.
Writer - mayaviki
Rating - 6.5/10

ek vivahit mahila aur uske pati ke boss ke beech ka rishta. ek common XF adultery plot.

Kahani ki shuruaat ek parivaar ke conversative background se hoti hai burqa, purushon se doori, aur pati ke aadesh. Nasreen ka safar ek band mahila se ek khud se judne wali aurat tak ka hai. Rajiv ek akele, taakatwar boss, uski duniya mein naya rang bhar deta hai. Inke beech ki baate, gestures, aur chhoti-chhoti cheeze kahani ko real feel deti hai. Burqa utaarne ka drishya ho ya Rajiv ke ghar ka varnan ye sab padhne wale ke dimaag mein ek tasveer banate hai. Dialogues bhi natural hain aur kuch emotional moments kahani ko thoda bhaav dete hai

Lekin kahani ki sabse badi kamzori hai iska predictable hona. Vivahit aurat aur boss ke beech ka rishta, conservative background aur dheere-dheere badalta vyavhaar ye sab XF par baar-baar dekha gaya hai. Nasreen ka transformation thoda asangat lagta hai; itna tezi se badlav zyada realistic nahi lagta. Rajiv ka bossy, dominant stereotype bhi kahani ko ek aur clichéd bana deta hai.

overall kahani acchi hai lekin contest ke lihaz se bahut weak hai, interfaith aur only sex story lovers ke liye ye ek badhiya treat hai. all the best for contest.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - "कामवासना क्या है क्यू है "
Writer - Sk story's
Rating -

Ye story kya hai aur kyu hai nibandh thodi likhna tha bhai yaha pe kahani likhni thi, kaamvasna kya hai sabhi jaante hai isiliye to idhar hilane aate hai
iska kya review du samajh naa aa raha, bhai osho ke pravachan ko paste karne ke liye aapka bahut bahut aabhar isse jyada na bola jayega mujhse. aapne hame osho ke gyan se avgat karaya iske liye bahut bahut dhanyawaad.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - लागी छूटे न
Writer - Niks77kill
Rating 8/10

ek aisi kahani hai jo prem, tyag, aur samajik dabav ke beech ki jatilta ko darshati hai. Is kahani me Nitin aur Pooja ke beech ka rishta unke vyaktigat sangharsho aur samajik bandhano ke beech jujhta hai, jo kahani ko ek gehra aur bhavnatmak sparsh deta hai. Kahani ki sabse badi taqat uski emotional depth hai. Nitin aur Pooja ke dard aur unki majbooriya itni khoobsurti se chitrit ki gayi hain ki reader unke saath jud jata hai. Unke jazbaat kahani ko zinda karte hai aur unke beech ki chemistry kahani ko majbooti pradaan karti hai. Dono mukhya characters ka vikas achhe se kiya gaya hai, unke faisle aur pratikriyae paristhitiyo ke hisab se badalte hai, jo unhe believable banata hai.

Samajik dabav aur parivaarik majbooriyo ka chitran vastavik lagta hai, jo readers ko sochne par majboor karta hai. Ye dikhata hai ki writer ne samaaj ko gahrai se samjha hai. Kahani me prem ke alag-alag roop ko samjhane ka sahi prayas kiya gaya hai, jo ise aur bhi deep banata hai. Lekin kahani mein kuch kamiya bhi hai. Kahani ka kuch hissa predictable lagta hai, khaas kar dharm aur jati ke beech prem ki kahani, jo ek purana formula lagti hai. Isse kahani ka nayaapan thoda kam ho jata hai. Kahi-kahi kahani mein drama thoda zyada ho jata hai, jo iske realism ko kam karta hai. Kuch ghatnaye thodi filmy aur unbelievable lagti hain, sath hi mujhe nitin ka baad me neha ko call karna samajh nahi aata, neha ka character aur uska uske pati ho chhod dena kuch bhi add nahi karta story me

Kahani ke kuch hisson me gati bhi thodi dheemi lagti hai, Bhasha aur dialogues me kayi jagah dramatization adhik lagti hai, overall ye ek acchi kahani hai jisme prem aur tyag ki gehraai hai. Haalanki, kuch predictable elements aur dramatic moments kahani ke realism ko prabhavit karte hai, lekin kahani ki bhavnatmak gehrai aur uske characters iseyek yaadgar anubhav banata hai. Agar isme kuch kamiyo ko sudhaar liya jaaye, to ye aur bhi yaadgar kahani ban sakti hai. all the best for contest

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story- आखरी ख्वाहिश
Writer - Laadla
Rating - 6.5/10

Just another incest story but with a trgic end. kahani maa-bete ke rishte ko ek vivadit nazariye se dikhane wali bhavnatmak kahani hai, jo apne tragic ant ke bawajood kuch khaas naya nahi keh pati. Aise vishay par pehle se hi kai kahaniyan XF par maujood hai, isliye yeh kahani alag nazar nahi aati.

kahani ke centre me ek 28 saal ka akela naujawan hai, jo brain tumor se joojh raha hai. Apni maut se pehle wo maa ke saath waqt bitana chahta hai, uske man me apni maa ke liye vaasna hai jise uski maa kuch hadd tak pura to karti hai uske apne jism se khelne deti hai lekin apne bete ki apne sath sex ki iccha ko nakar deti hai. Kahani ka ant uski maut aur maa ke dil mein chhode gaye adhoore sawaal par hota hai, jo ek emotional impact deta hai.

Kahani ka emotional depth uski takat hai naayak ka andaroni sangharsh, uska guilt, aur samajik maryado ke beech ki takraar achhi tarah ubhri hai. Bhasha saral hai aur kahani aasani se padhne layak hai. Lekin originality ki kami, kamzor character development aur kuch drishyon ka baar-baar dohraaya jaana, isse ek yaadgar kahani banne se rokte hai. is kahani jo aur better tarike se likha ja sakta tha kyuki iska end abrupt hai jo adhura feel deta hai. all the best for contest.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - EK BHAYANAK MAZAAQ
Writer - LionHeart007
Rating - 7.5/10

ek aisi kahani jo Hira naam ki ek ladki ke jeevan ke uljhan bhare mod ko darshati hai. Kahani ki shuruaat ek maasoom mazaaq se hoti hai, lekin jaise-jaise kahani aage badhti hai, ye mazaaq Hira ke liye ek bhayanak sapna ban jaata hai. Is kahani ka asli bhayanakpan kisi bhoot-pret ya supernatural element me nahi, balki Hira ke apne kiye ka pachtava aur uske parinaamo me chhupa hai.

Kahani ki sabse badi takat uski emotional depth aur psychological insight hai. Hira ke mann ki stithi aur uske dard ko gehraai se darshaya gaya hai. Uska jhooth bolna aur us jhooth ke parinaamo ka samna karna, ye sab padhne wale ko emotional aur psychological level par jodta hai. Hira ka charactrisation bahut hi achhe se likha gaya hai. Uske emotions aur uski soch itni real lagti hai ki padhne wala uske saath jud jaata hai. Jabir Sahab ka character bhi kahani mein ek naya mod laata hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi dilchasp banata hai.

Kahani me suspense aur rahasya ka mahol bahut achhe se banaya gaya hai. Jabir Sahab ka aana aur unka achaanak chale jaana kahani ko aur bhi engaging banata hai. Lekin kahani ki lambai aur pacing thodi si kamzor hai. Kahani thodi lambi hai aur kuch jagah par unnecessary details hain jo padhne ki gati ko slow kar deti hai. Iske alawa, kahani mein kuch supernatural elements thode inconsistent lagte hai, jo kahani ki credibility ko thoda kam kar dete hai.

Supporting characters jaise Sidra aur Dania ko aur thoda vikasit kiya ja sakta tha, taaki unka role kahani mein aur impactful ho. Yeh kahani sirf ek horror story nahi hai, balki jhooth, pachtava, aur qurbani ki ek genri kahani hai. Hira ki kahani ek aisi yaadgar kahani hai jo hume ye sabak deti hai ki choti si galati bhi kabhi-kabhi kitni badi tabahi la sakti hai.

Ye kahani aapke zehen mein bahut dino tak rahegi aur aapko apne jeevan mein choti-choti cheezo ko samajhne aur unka sammaan karne ki prerna degi. Kahani ki emotional aur psychological gehraai isse ek yaadgar anubhav banati hai. Is kahani ko main 7.5/10 dunga, kyunki yeh kahani apne sandesh aur bhavnaatmak prabhav ke liye yaad rahegi. all the best for contest